Relationships....

I've realised that we have a few wedding threads coming up in the forum..saw a few beautiful pictures with beautiful and happy people getting married...kinda sparked something off in my brain...if you see it in this way..from friends to a relationship to marriage..i think many of us have come a really long way to be able to get to marriage... i'm just wondering what's the worst thing u dislike abt your partner? how is it that you are able to live with it?

me for one, i hated my ex bf's snore...it was really loud and disturbing..maybe that's why we aren't together anymore what abt you guys???

I really don't hate anything about Mike. He is my best friend and we have had so many adventures together. Hate is a pretty strong word when I think about him, I suppose what I wish he would attend to better would be his health. He is borderline Diabetic and does not take great care of himself. But he is gentle, and humorous and kind, and a great story teller. He snores loud too, but I just sleep with ear plugs and we are good.

Baby is always late.

MA, LOL @ the earplugs!

I hate his smoking.

There are other things that get at me, but the smoking is the worst, but when we were dating and when we married I too was a smoker so I can't really complain about it. I had to quit because of lung troubles. He's tried to quit but doesn't have the wherewithal to do so. I let it go because I can do things to get around the smoke.

Think this is a typical man, mine KNOWS EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING. Of course, so does my dad, my uncle, my father-in-law..etc.......

He's a Gemini. *sigh* Meaning....superficiality and impressing people he doesn't know is sometimes more important than taking care of real things, he has great dreams but rarely follows through, money is to be SPENT (I'm a Cancer so to me, money is to be SAVED! LOL). Really, we are so different in our ways of thinking, but we've compromised on many things. Compromise is the biggest thing that keeps both of us happy.

I think the thing that bothers me most is when he just says "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh" when I am talking to him about something that I feel is important and I know he is not hearing a WORD that is coming out of my mouth. I just wanna reach over and smack 'im! LOL

There is nothing I hate about Dan. However, I don't like when he interrupts me, which is often. Like most men, he also changes the subject when I am talking about something I think is important. Linguists have done studies on this, and it's a thing men do, they interrupt, and they give every blessed detail about a subject to impress you with their knowledge.

When he goes out with his friends, he can get a little obnoxious and talk even more. That's not too often, thank goodness.

Originally posted by amyspear
I think the thing that bothers me most is when he just says "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh" when I am talking to him about something that I feel is important and I know he is not hearing a WORD that is coming out of my mouth. I just wanna reach over and smack 'im! LOL

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I hate to have to admit this but I do this to my wife - she just rattles away, normally about her mother, or sister and when I am driving. I have learnt to say things like yes dear and uh huh for nearly 9 and a half years now and I have no idea as to what some of the conversations have been about - still to this day! Its a mans way of saying in his head "are you still talking" but he will never admit it!

My only gripe of my wife is her long hair - she has hair the color i describe as golden apple honey - however, it gets everywhere, in the car, in dinner, you name it - it gets there - she malts I swear.

I do have a question though, every night, she comes to bed and spends ages sat combing the mass on her head. Then gets into bed and during the night it gets moved and mashed about as she wriggles - what was the point in brushing it to start with???? She gets up in the morning and does it all again. I dont need to as have very short hair - acceptance that am losing it made me get it cut real short!

Strange or what!

Kev
Making sure Carol is watching TV whilst not looking at me

Nothing about my love that I hate, but we did have to "agree to disagree" about politics. I'm the left wing and he's the right...when we go to the polls we just cancel out each other's votes. Funny thing is, when we talk about actual issues we agree more often than not, but he still staunchly supports his party. Other than that, he's a fabulous guy.

I too don't hate anything about Ted,I strongly dislike his habit of letting thing that need done wait intill the last minute!

MA, I am with you on the snoring. It drives me nuts! Earplugs are my friend, that is if I can keep the darn cats from stealing them right out of my ears.

I don't hate anything about Ken...but there are times when I could choke him until his eyeballs pop right out of his head for flipping the channels on the TV just when I get really interested in a show

There's only a few things I Dislike about my hunny and that is the fact that he only showers once a week if i am lucky enough! if not then it's maybe once every 2 weeks. and he does alot of hard labor in the heat......I also dislike the fact that when we argue it's always about him. so it's come down to me having to write to him after he's done his ranting. Just so I can get my side in.

my current bf--former fiance (I told him there's no WAY in hell i'll marry him but he still hasn't accepted it)--annoys me in so many ways I can't even begin to list them all. Probably number one would be lack of motivation--it's like he wants to do nothing but just be a spectator on his life. He's been complaining about the same miserable job for 7 years but won't even try to change it. You have to threaten him to make him cut grass, take out the trash, etc. He has absolutely no goals, except to have fun. Another thing that bothers me is that he cares so much what people think that has to wear expensive brand name clothes 24/7. And the worst part is, if it's on sale he refuses to buy it because it makes him look "cheap." But when you go to his house his room is practically falling apart because he doesn't have any money left to spend on decorating/repairs.. (he lives w/parents).. He still sleeps on the same bed since he was like 5, and he is like 6'6" 250 lbs, and instead of buying a new bed he blows his money on a system for the car--GROW UP ALREADY, YOU'RE 25 not 16!! AHhh its like babysitting.

That's when it's time to tell him good bye!

i've tried.. but he keeps coming back! Unfortunately he's not MEAN to me or anything so I find it VERY hard to be mean back, but he doesnt understand when I kindly say "I think we'd be better off seperate.." So I'm trying to think of a gentle way to say "If I stay with you, I will never be anything because you will drag me down to your level.. which is LOSERdom."

Anna, this is just my $.02, but I hope it might help.

I know it's tough, but unless you want to be dragged down by him forever (and it sounds like he WILL drag you down), you need to be blunt with him. You can waste a lot of good years on a loser (trust me, I've done it!) and end up looking back later & kicking yourself for it. If you're free and single, you can enjoy your life as you choose without being dragged down. And you will meet someone better, but not if you're still attached to this guy. Plus, as long as you stay with him you're helping to enable his immature behavior.

Unfortunately, anything you do to try to "cushion the blow" or say it nicely will be misinterpreted as "you still have a chance with me". Be absolutely straightforward and put it as bluntly as you possibly can. It may sound cruel, but it's better than leading him on. If he takes it as a learning experience & grows up so the same thing doesn't happen in his next relationship, all the better.

tess.. thanks for the advice. the worst part about it is i KNOW i don't love him, i KNOW i won't marry him, and i KNOW i have to end it.. I have known this since Jan. and I just can't do it. I find it incredibly hard to hurt someone plus I'm scared of being alone. Not terrified enough tho to screw up the rest of my life over it. I just got out of college this year, and the thing that really pushed it over the edge is that he has not been supportive at all. When he was having problems with his job I was there, making resumes, providing encouragement, talking it out, checking out potential employers.. Well, I had to actually say to him "I can't get a job, I feel worthless, I wish I was someone else." And I got nothing. It just bugged me.

sorry for rambling!!