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Been Having a Big Problem

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I've been in a bad situation. See, before I got jake, the homeowner who I rent a room from said that I could bring in one or two cats. Then, his father, who likes to make the rules even though it is not his house, told me no. I can't have cats or any animal. But the homeowner not only allowed me to have Jake. He actually gave him to me. He told me not to tell his father. I've kept Jake in my room when I need to go out. I only let him out of my room when I am there. If I think the father is going to come down to the living room( I have the whole basement to myself that consist of a big living room, my bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. Unfortunatley, the washer and dryer are down there too.)I quickly take Jake to my room and close it. My secret with the cat was kept for four months. Everyone in the family except the father knew of him. The homeower told his father that if I wanted the cat that I was free to do so.
They are not on speaking terms for another reason.
His father has always been nice and affectionate to me. I always thought it was fatherly like. Then a couple of weeks ago, he went downt to my living area to do laundry. He saw the cat. But he didn't say anything. A week after that, he started to make sexual advances towards me. He is known to his family as a womanizer and had countless affairs. Somehow he still has his wife living with him. I didn't tell anyone about his behavior towards me. Then last monday, I was watching tv with my cat and he came and started molesting me. I told him no and started to be real afraid of him. I told him I didn't like it. He stopped and left me, but was angry and being refuses. A couple of days later, he told me to get rid of the cat. I told him no because his son told me I could. He told me that if I didn't do it that he would do something to the cat. So with fear, I found a temporary place for Jake until I get a new apartment. I am living with another friend and, under the advice of my counselor, I pressed charges. He has been harassing me. Because of this behavior, I had been in tears. I didn't go to school since the incident. I miss having jake besides me. He didn't take lightly to being left(he is with my sister). But I feared for my baby's life. Hopefully this weekend, Jake and I will be together again. With the help of my boyfriend, I will move. I've found and apartment that is $565 a month. The deposit is $75(the cheapest around town) and $200 for the pet deposit. But I've fallen into a depression I haven't had since getting Jake. Please pray for us. I don't know if the police have talked to the man. I only go to the house with someone so that the man will not bother me.
post #2 of 17
nina10 - You did the right thing by reporting this incident and seeking help. Also finding another place to live was the smart thing to do! I work in Adult Protective Services and too often see the sad results of women not taking action. It is never easy and this 'man' wants you to drop the charges, I'm sure. THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! You must not blame yourself in any manner. Remember, YOU are the victim - HE is the perp. The DA's office where you live may have a Victim's Advocate program. If so - you need to seek out their assistance. Also - have you thought about an order of protection (O/P) through the courts? The most important thing to remember is to not allow him to have access to you any more! Stuff at your old apartment can be replaced - you cannot! Jake will forgive you - you took this action to protect him. Please take care of yourself, and remember - you do not have to go through this alone. Time will heal your emotional wounds. God sees to that!
You will remain in my thoughts.
post #3 of 17
thought you might need some kitty kisses..........

and some kitty hugs............
post #4 of 17
Nena, I'm so sorry that something awful like this happened to you. Thank goodness you're safely out of the house and your kitty is safe, too. I'll keep you and Jake in my thoughts and prayers.
post #5 of 17
Thank goodness you and Jake are all right! You've surely acted in a highly intelligent way during this crisis, by immediately seeking legal redress for that man's illegal actions. I admire your courage and your ability to keep your wits about you under such awful circumstances.

Please take heed of what Debra Myers wrote regarding your rights as a citizen; and do keep us informed of you situation. God bless, my friend. I'm so sorry this has happened. I'll pray for you and Jake. I know things will get better for you!

post #6 of 17
The guy is a jerk. I've ran into my share of men like that... and unfortunately more then my share as a teenager. I know what you're going through... there's been some excellent advice offered here... and I hope you read it carefully.

I'd just like to reiterate what Debra said... THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!! Don't blame yourself for anything! It's not your looks, what you were wearing, anything you said or did. The fact of the matter is, there are men in this world who act like pigs around young women... and older women too. The guy obviously thought he would make his move on you, once he thought he had something to hold over you... namely your cat. He used your love of your cat to try and get something he wanted. It's called emotional blackmail. He probably hoped that since you are young, you would just cower in a corner and either go along with it, or move and never say anything about it. Most young women don't have the self-assurance to stand up for themselves. You did a brave and good thing by going to the authorities. What you did may prevent this pig of a man from doing the same thing to another woman. Just think... because of you, maybe he will NEVER do this to another woman... you could have just spared another woman the mental anguish this jerk has put you through. I think it's somewhat normal to go through a bit of depression... something bad happened to you... but keep reminding yourself that the worst is over now, ok?

Stand up tall and be proud of yourself, ok? You SHOULD be proud of yourself! You had the courage and strenth of heart and mind to DO something to stop him. As one woman to another... I'm PROUD of and for you! Thank you, for having the guts to do what was right.

I truly hope you get Jake back with you as soon as possible. Sending a bunch of hugs and warm thoughts your way.
post #7 of 17
I am so sorry for your situation. You did the right thing and none of this is your fault. I know you miss your Jake but at least he is alive and well and you will have him back soon. I am very glad you are away from that creep. Take care of yourself.
post #8 of 17

This man is more than a jerk, he's a beast! I am so thankful that you are out of that house.

Jake will forgive you once you get settled in your new place.

I am also very glad that you pressed charges. I hope they nail this :censor::censor::censor::censor::censor::censor::censor: to the wall.

How the wife can overlook this kind of behavior is beyond me. I am with everyone else in saying that you did nothing wrong.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
post #9 of 17
Thread Starter 
I have good news.. I am out of the house and into an apartment were they allowed pets. I had to pay a $200 pet deposit but Jake is with me again. Besides he has more room and freedom to move about. We are both happy in our new place.
I did report it to the police, but somehow the coward found out and escaped to mexico. But thankfully he dosen't know were I live. I know it isn't my fault, but I still feel bad because a man who is old enough to be my father tried to rape me. The wife is still with him. I don't know if its for fear or love. The man actually yells at her and call her names. He had a history of being involved with tons of women. Still, she is with him. If my man was unfaithful to me, I'd leave!
Currently, I am in counseling in both a therapist and with my church. My depression is gone again now that I have my Jake. I will consentrate now on my baby and spoil him. My boyfriend is helping me with the rent and bills and I am seeking employment.
post #10 of 17
Nena - I'm glad you found a better place to live and have Jake back. This must have been a horrible experience for you. How are your children handling the move? I know changes can be hard on little ones. Good luck!
post #11 of 17
Nena....your thread made me cry....I was so sad and angry for you! How dare this man use your love for your cat against you to try and get what he wanted??????? I am SO releived that you are in another place now, and have your Jake back with you. Your boyfriend sounds like a kind, understanding, helpful man also. You did not deserve this treatment!!!
It angers me so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope everything will look up for you know, and that they will find him, and make him pay!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for feeling like you could come to us with this problem, even though it must have been difficult for you to tell it.

We love you! let us know how you are doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #12 of 17
This is thrilling news! I'm so happy for you and Jake, that you are re-united and free from the clutches of that terrible person.

Best wishes and good luck to you, on your hunt for employment. I know that's a difficult task, but the determination and wisdom you displayed in dealing with your former living-situation stands you in good stead to land a job!

Keep us advised of your progress. Give yourself a big pat on the back!

post #13 of 17
I am so glad to hear from you! I had been extremely worried. Thank goodness that no-good creep is gone. Hopefully, they'll arrest his ass if he tries to set one toe back on American soil.

I'm glad you and Jake are getting settled in the new place. Your boyfriend is a doll for helping you out.

Keep the faith, girl. You were NOT the guilty party here. Men who victimize women in this manner should be shot. And give his wife the name of your therapist. Sounds like she needs it!
post #14 of 17
Yeeeaaaaaaaahhhhh! I'm so tickled to hear that you are back with Jake! That's just so fantastic!! How is he liking his new place? Has he gotten used to it? Has he found a favorite niche yet? I bet he was so happy to be with you again. It's really good to hear that you have a counselor and your church to turn to. It sure helps to have someone to talk to. I'm so happy for you!
post #15 of 17
nena10 - I am so thrilled that you and Jake are safe and settling into your new home! I was very worried about you. Meows and kitty hugs to you both!
post #16 of 17
Nena - the story angered me but your part in it made me proud for you! You're a wonderful person and you did all the right things in dealing with this. I still hope the :censor::censor::censor::censor::censor::censor::censor: gets his punishment - I'm sure he will here or in another life. But for now the important thing is that you are safe and with Jake again. Stay strong and give a few extra hugs to Jake for me!
post #17 of 17
Well of course you are a little depressed--this man violated you! You did the right thing in pressing charges and getting the heck out of his house! I wish you the best of luck, and hope you start to feel comfortable again soon.
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