miss my little girl mui

mimi3908

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Hello all, early last Saturday Feb 12th, we lost our little beautiful calico girl Mui to FELV and we are just missing her so much. She was only 5 years old and we had her the day after xmas in 2009 from a rescue group who wanted to see if anyone could take in an FIV+FELV+ cat and we didn't know much about these debilitating diseases and this little girl reminded my wife of one of her babies growing up so we had to take Mui in despite her existing conditions.

From day 1, Mui was such an affectionate, loving kitty who loved snuggling up to us in bed, playing with her toy mouse, touching us affectionately by her little tail swinging by or with her just gentle head butts.. we liked cradling her and whenever we see her, she just brightens our day... she meant so much too us....she was extremely well behaved, instinctively knowing where is off limits even though we never trained her...she was probably a very intelligent kitty..

Yes, we knew she had a potentially deadly health problem but early her, she looked so healthy and had a strong appetite. She had bouts of vomiting early on but it was less frequent as she stayed with us which we thought were good signs of healthiness.. little that we know that is not a good indication of how she was really doing inside. We did some study on FIV+FELV and found that stress free environment was essential so we did our best to provide her with a loving home. We saw some happy cases where cats live long lives and we prayed that was the case with her.

Then in Dec 2010, I had to leave for 2 weeks for business and unfortunately, she apparently missed me so much that she stopped eating... when I came back she lost over 2 lbs and we took her to the vet who said she had a fever. Subsequently, Mui got a little better but then became very inactive again and no matter what type of brand of food we put in front of her, she wasn't eating much....finally in February, we took her to the vet again and the same vet now diagnosed her as being extremely anemic due to low red blood cell count as result of FELV. Our heart just sank. Still, the vet said she can give her epogen to stimulate red blood cell growth and we went with that. We didn't realize the side effects of epogen and that same evening, our Mui nearly went as her breathing became very very heavy...and she limped all over the house... we didn't expect her to make it and prepared for the worse..

But we thought we lucked out when Mui came out of it next morning and certainly looked better although her breathing was still difficult. The vet asked us to take her in a few days to test for blood level again. Independently, we desperately sought for miracle solutions to FELV although we knew going in that was impossible to date. From web searches, we learned a lot about some experimental treatments with risky results. Yet, we stuck to the vet's second appointment last week and again, the vet recommended epogen shot after her blood test came back only slightly improved. Our heart aches now because we knew our kitty had fought hard to overcome side affects from epogen not too long ago and we told the vet we worried about the side effects but she said there shouldn't be....so we allowed our Mui to get injected a second time.... and early morning on Feb 12th, our Mui couldn't handle the side effects anymore and we saw her cross the bridge and we just couldn't believe it...and we were so devastated.

We know that Mui was not healthy to begin with and we knew it was only a matter of time, with or without epogen... still, that day she looked ok, blood work improving if ever so slightly... we can't help but wonder why we allow her second injection...we feel so guilty as her parents and she trusted and loved us so much... We know it is not right to look back and second guess actions, but we would give almost anything or a second chance at how to take care of our little girl now even for a few more months for her to be with us…we loved and miss her so much…RIP Mui – mom and dad love you always.
 

farleyv

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You certainly are wonderful people for taking in Mui even though you knew your time with her was probably limited. What hearts you have.

It is so very normal to have second thoughts, regrets. I hope in time, these will give way to smiles of rememberence of the reasons you loved her so much.

My heart is breaking for you.

Mui is just around the corner, never far. And remember, no one can ever take her from your heart.

God bless you all. RIP sweet Mui, mom and dad sure love you.
 

mrblanche

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One important thing; don't beat yourself up about anything that happed to Mui. These are terrible diseases with very unpredictable outcomes.

It has been so long since we last had an FIV or FELV positive test at the shelter that we had stopped doing them routinely, then we suddenly had three adoptees in a row come back FIV positive. No sign; they looked perfectly healthy. They were all immediately put to sleep (after checking with the various rescues in the area to see if any of them had people willing to take them). So Mui had time with you she would not have had in most instances.
 

white cat lover

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I know your heart aches right now - but know that by adopting her you probably saved her life.
So many groups euthanize FeLV+ of FIV+ cats.

You gave her several good years, you did the best you could to help get her through. Play happily over the Rainbow Bridge, Mui.
 

my4llma

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I'm so sorry that Mui died. She was so lucky to have you come along and adopt her.
 

jcat

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FeLV and FIV are horrible diseases, and most cats who get them aren't given the chance of a happy life that you gave Mui. RIP, little one.
 

blueyedgirl5946

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I am so sorry for your loss. She was a blessed little cat to have such a loving home given to her, even in the face of her illness. She had love and she knew it. Bless you for sharing with her.
 
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mimi3908

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thank you all so much for your kind words. We still can't believe she is gone and we often look at certain areas in the house where she loved to stay with us. Her smooth soft coat and warm demeanor just melts our hearts every time. We remember cradling her little limp body one last time and that feeling will stay with us for life including fond and loving memories of her. We can't help but think back what we might've been able to do to help her more. In the months leading to her crossing the bridge, she had become very lethargic, being first time parents we took it as her being a lazy kitty and her lack of appetite we thought was her being a little princess and picky... these were actually signs of her going into anemia - even our vet only suggested food stimulants. We know from reading much on this fiv+felv topic that little can be done when anemia sets in, still, we wonder if we took more pro-active care of her instead of waiting for terrible signs to show, that things might be a bit different today...yes, she was with us for 13 wonderful months and that is what we will cherish forever.
 

otto

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I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved Mui. Because of YOU, she knew 13 months of love and happiness. All because of you.

Your feelings are normal and grief hits hard but try not to second guess, you did everything you could. FeLV and FIV are both fatal diseases, and even when kitty is in a loving caring home given all she needs lives, life, long or short is pretty much up to the fates.
 

kittkatt

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I am so sorry for your loss.
I know how difficult this must be for you as I have 4 FIV cats that I worry about constantly, wondering when their time will come too. This may not help much in your time of grief, but you should take comfort knowing that you did all you could for Mui. She may not have made it as long as she did if it weren't for you loving & caring for her like you did. I'm sure she's looking down on you with nothing but love & gratitude.


Rest peacefully, sweet Mui.
 

bastetservant

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You are such good people for taking Miu in and giving her a home and love for the time she had in this world. She knows this and loves you always for taking care of her. She will always be with you.

It is natural and normal for you to have guilt feelings and think you let her down. We all feel that way when we lose are beloved cats. We are their protectors and providers and we feel we failed them. But that is not true. These illnesses take them away. You did what you were advised was the best by the medical professionals. You did your best. You have nothing to regret.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that in time you will heal enough to offer another homeless kitty the wonderful home Mui had, and she would want another kitty to have.

Thanks for sharing the story of Mui.

Robin
 
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