Selecting the right cat (never had one before)

Hi,

I've never had a cat. I currently have a canary, and grew up with a dog, hamsters and aquarium fish. But cats were not part of the picture, in part because my mother is allergic to them.

My uncle, who lived far from us, had a male cat that ignored people most of its life, but as it got older (and went to live with my grandmother) it turned meaner. So my experience with cats was a somewhat negative one. But then about ten years ago a pregnant, very friendly cat moved in my mother's backyard and had kittens. I would have loved to adopt her, as she was very loving... We found a home for her and her kittens.

Now I live by myself in a studio apartment. I did some dog-sitting for a friend, and loved the company and coming back home to a friend.
So I have decided to get a cat. I am reading about cats in books, but still have questions and am nervous about choosing the wrong cat, as I realize it is a very long-term commitment. I am in no rush to get a kitten until I know I have found the right one, and I would like to ask you some questions.

*What is the ideal age to get a kitten? At what age is it most trainable?
*I would like to teach the cat not to think of my canary as food (see http://www.avianweb.com/birdsandotherpets.html), and kittens are easier to train.
*I would also like to bathe my cat regularly (to reduce allergens) and, if possible, leash train the cat (http://www.wikihow.com/Leash-Train-a-Cat).
*My mother is allergic to cats, and I plan to bathe the cat regularly and use Allerpet/C so that she can comfortably visit me. Does a neutered male cat still produce more allergens than a spayed female?
*Are female cats really more unpredictable and less playful than male cats -- even when they have been spayed/neutered?

Also:
*Is it wrong to separate two cats that grew up together? I know a person who has two 6 months old neutered male cats that grew up together in their family with older cats and a dog (but without their mother.) They are always pictured together, relaxing and napping. But I can only afford to take care of one cat. Should I pass this opportunity and hope they find someone willing to adopt both? Or if I adopt one, will he turn mean or be irreparably "damaged"? I fear that a 6 month old cat (a "teenager") is too set in its ways... Humans are.
*Should I adopt a younger female kitten -- that way, fewer allergens and easier to train to like water, go walking on a leash and not attack my canary?

I realize I am asking a lot of questions, but I feel almost like I am getting married: it's a "til death do us part" commitment, so I appreciate all your help!

Best,

John

PS Could you recommend a training/behavior book?

When I adopted Pandora she was about 8 months old. I went to the animal shelter and visited with each cat. Pandora and I had an instant connection. It was like we already knew each other. She was friendly and all she wanted to do was cuddle with me and be petted. She is the best cat I've ever had. She's smart and funny and very cuddly.

If you can only afford one cat, I would get an an older cat. Kittens do best in pairs. You can still train an older cat. Hurley was 2 years old when I adopted him and he's the best trained cat I have. I used a clicker and treats to train him. He does a variety of behaviors: sit, wave, sit up pretty, come, down, target my hand, jump up, jump down. He's learning to target a particular spot right now.

Lilly was 8 weeks old when we adopted her and I wish we had gotten her brother too. She's a bit of a terror and has been the hardest kitty to train. She has a very strong personality and wants to do what she wants to do. Each cat has their own personality for sure!

I bathe my cats about once a month because my husband is slightly allergic. They do very well.

I would not split up a bonded pair. I don't think it's fair to the kitties.

You should check out petfinder.com and the local animal shelters around you. I'm sure they have the perfect cat for you. When you save a kitty's life they definitely know it.

Hi there and welcome to TCS, I can't offer any fantastic advice as my first kitty found me and then my others I have just really gone to a shelter and they have chosen me too. As for your mothers allergies, ,my father in law is very allergic, I have 5 cats but I just clean really reguarly and brush them, he never has an outbreak when he visits so I think you are thinking along the right steps. I am pleased to see how serious you are taking kitty ownership, many of the others here will offer you great advice, good luck and be sure to post pics here when you have found your soulmate.xx

I would recommend letting a shelter group help you choose your cat. The people who work in these places often know the personalities of the animals they care for very well. If you were to describe the concerns and ideas you listed above, they would be able to point out your best candidates and which kitties wouldn't work. Also, I'd say trust your instincts. Cat ownership can be just like a marriage, not only in the "'till death due us part" bit but also in the "I would never have agreed to putting up with this personality on paper but find it suits me great in practice" bit.

I'm very poorly informed on this but I think some breeds of cats aren't as irritating to those with allergies as others so that might be something you want to research more. Also, a close friend who visits my house (4 cats here) finds that if I vacuum the day before she comes it doesn't bother her allergies nearly as badly as if I vacuum the day of her visit.

Congratulations on deciding to get a cat! They're fantastic companions. I hope you find a kitty who you fall in love with!

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*What is the ideal age to get a kitten? At what age is it most trainable?

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12 weeks is best for training, but 4 months w/ a fostered cat you know what the personality of the cat is more or less and the hard work is already done. At 12 weeks, its hard to tell. The cutest are often perceived to be the 8 week old kittens and the like, but when separated from their mother too early can have issues.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*I would like to teach the cat not to think of my canary as food (see http://www.avianweb.com/birdsandotherpets.html), and kittens are easier to train.

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Good luck. Thats like trying to convince a kid that candy on the floor isn't tasty. Its a cats instinct to be enthralled by the motion and size of a canary, and the best cat toys are designed to emulate small birds and mice.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*I would also like to bathe my cat regularly (to reduce allergens) and, if possible, leash train the cat (http://www.wikihow.com/Leash-Train-a-Cat).

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There are some that show their cats that bathe them regularly, but in general it is a bad idea. For one, the cats don't like it, in the least and you don't want to get soap in their eyes or water in their ears. Secondly, it can cause skin issues as you remove essential oils. There are special shampoos, but not cheap. Thirdly, if its cold in the house as it can be in the winter, its crucial to dry them thoroughly which is easier said than done, unlike dogs (I think its the undercoat that holds the water). Vacuuming, dusting, and ion air filters would likely make more of a difference. And the allergens come from cat saliva, and the first thing my cats do after washing their feet after a misstep even after decent drying is to lick their feet for five minutes.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*My mother is allergic to cats, and I plan to bathe the cat regularly and use Allerpet/C so that she can comfortably visit me. Does a neutered male cat still produce more allergens than a spayed female?

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No difference, and the so called "hypoallergenic" cats is really more hype than reality. Cat saliva is cat saliva for the most part.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*Are female cats really more unpredictable and less playful than male cats -- even when they have been spayed/neutered?

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Its a generalization. Buttercup of late has become an utter love bug lap kitty always schmoozeling, but in general w/ male cats the personality is just more predictable and steady and if taking a large poll would be more likely to be lap kitties.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*Is it wrong to separate two cats that grew up together? I know a person who has two 6 months old neutered male cats that grew up together in their family with older cats and a dog (but without their mother.) They are always pictured together, relaxing and napping. But I can only afford to take care of one cat.

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Nothing wrong with it, and it is the norm. However, I would HIGHLY recommend adopting two siblings that get along well together. They will be able to play with one another in ways people can't really replicate and keep each other company, so are less likely to bother you at night, be less destructive when you are away, and be more active for improved health. You have twice the food and potentially vet costs, but otherwise they can share toys/trees/bowls/fountains/etc.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*Should I adopt a younger female kitten -- that way, fewer allergens and easier to train to like water, go walking on a leash and not attack my canary?

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I have never seen a cat that walks on a leash particularly well. They aren't dogs. Some don't like it, others will just walk very slow and don't take well to being led like a dog. I don't think you can train a cat to like water, just train them not to put up too much of a fuss when "abusing" them with water, heh. There are exceptions though of cats that do like to play in water, but its uncommon.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

I realize I am asking a lot of questions, but I feel almost like I am getting married: it's a "til death do us part" commitment, so I appreciate all your help!

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The average cat lives longer than the length of the average marriage in the US (statistically 7.5 yrs).

And regarding finding a cat, I agree, let the people that know the cats help you.

First preference would likely be for fostered cats, provided its not an overly crowded environment where they can get lots of attention and socialization. Second would be shelters, which are nice for convenience and sheer volume of kitties.

Tell them what you are looking for in personality, and they can best match you up. You can catch some kitties when they just happen to be sleepy, but the best ones IMO are those that are known not to be destructive w/ claws or biting which foster/shelter would know, and are the most eager to interact with you and want to play. Less desirable would be kittens that appear frightened and withdrawn.

Originally Posted by Ducman69

And regarding finding a cat, I agree, let the people that know the cats help you.

First preference would likely be for fostered cats, provided its not an overly crowded environment where they can get lots of attention and socialization. Second would be shelters, which are nice for convenience and sheer volume of kitties.

Tell them what you are looking for in personality, and they can best match you up. You can catch some kitties when they just happen to be sleepy, but the best ones IMO are those that are known not to be destructive w/ claws or biting which foster/shelter would know, and are the most eager to interact with you and want to play. Less desirable would be kittens that appear frightened and withdrawn.

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I will completely second this. I adopted a 16 week old kitten on Thanksgiving weekend and a 6.5 month old last week (they are about the same age now). They both technically came from "foster" homes but the conditions were just so different and my experience is that that has a huge impact.
I found both the rescues on petfinder and I filled in the application and told them what I was looking for.
Calvin: I was interviewed by 2 people and they approved. Then we went to a foster mom's place who was fostering 4 kittens (12-16 weeks) and had 3 cats of her own and a dog. We went to a room and they got all the kitties and the resident pets and everyone played. The moment I had walked in, the foster mom was holding Calvin and handed him to me and that was it for us. But we saw that the kittens were socialized, played with toys (we were given a wand toy to play with them), got along with cats and dogs and the family had guests over with kids and they were all fine. We got a great idea and Calvin was exactly how she described him. She did tell us Calvin was demanding and we were glad for her honesty.
Hobbes: Went to the foster mom's place - had 50 cats or so in 2 rooms. It was smelly and dirty. Cats were sneezing, some unwell and they were in cages. We fell in love with Hobbes and basically decided to rescue Hobbes from the rescue. Hobbes has not been socialized well, not vetted properly (I do not think they do anything - give them the vaccinations themselves), came down with URI, coccidia and has a grade 3 heart murmur, which a vet would have heard. Hobbes so far is having a really hard time adjusting. The quality of food (and you'll know how important that is for the wellbeing of a cat from TCS) that we received was really poor. Hobbes is a biter, and this is something that Calvin's foster would have told us or had on their website, since they do not want any harm to their kitties. We definitely love Hobbes as much as we do Calvin, but there is definitely added stress.

So I really stress getting a kitty from a good/ reputable rescue/ shelter. I do not know if my experience was really extreme but it does not hurt to be cautious.
Hope you find the little kitty of your dreams! The joys they've brought to our lives is totally worth it.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*What is the ideal age to get a kitten? At what age is it most trainable?

Click to expand...

If you want a single cat, and you want a good match for what you're looking for, it's best to adopt a slightly older cat, not a kitten. There's no way for a rescue to know what the personality of a kitty is until it's more grown up (just like with people!) -and kittens, as stated before, do best in pairs. They have a LOT of energy when they're young!!!!!! And unlike dogs, they live in a very 3D world.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*I would like to teach the cat not to think of my canary as food (see http://www.avianweb.com/birdsandotherpets.html), and kittens are easier to train.

Click to expand...

There are people that have done it - but there have also been tragedies for people that thought they have done it. Unfortunately, I think you'd need to keep your canary caged or in a room where the cat definitely has NO access.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

and, if possible, leash train the cat (http://www.wikihow.com/Leash-Train-a-Cat).

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VERY few cats "walk" on a leash. That is a real rarity. Cats creep and explore, and some get used to the leash. But walking like a dog? Very rare.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*My mother is allergic to cats, and I plan to bathe the cat regularly and use Allerpet/C so that she can comfortably visit me. Does a neutered male cat still produce more allergens than a spayed female?

Click to expand...

I've never heard that a male produces more allergans than a female. I am HIGHLY allergic to cats and live with 8 of them in an RV. Bathing a cat when you have allergies is NOT a way to help reduce the allergans. Total misinformation. The first thing a cat does when you bathe it is lick itself all over to get its smell back in the right places. What you do is use DISTILLED water, wet a rag, and just lightly rub the cat. It doesn't displace the smells, it doesn't make it wet enough that it needs to lick itself all over, and it helps reduce the amount of dander. I'll find a link to a thread about how to manage allergies. But if your mom is willing to take zyrtec (generic is cetirizine) before visiting, it really shouldn't be a problem.

Oh - and I've always had a problem with the females, and not so much with the males. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with gender, but is just a very cat-specific thing. I am HIGHLY allergic to our Ming Loy, and I am not at all allergic to our Billy. Obviously Ming Loy produces whatever it is that is the allergan in her saliva by the bucketload, because she drools when we pet her (many cats do), and it is like burning fire for me. But Billy could give me a bath in his drool and it wouldn't trigger any allergies.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*Are female cats really more unpredictable and less playful than male cats -- even when they have been spayed/neutered?

Click to expand...

No, not in my experience. I would say that males are more social, and if you think you'll ever want to add a 2nd cat, you're better off getting a a male now - but others have had the exact opposite experience.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

Also:
*Is it wrong to separate two cats that grew up together? I know a person who has two 6 months old neutered male cats that grew up together in their family with older cats and a dog (but without their mother.) They are always pictured together, relaxing and napping. But I can only afford to take care of one cat. Should I pass this opportunity and hope they find someone willing to adopt both? Or if I adopt one, will he turn mean or be irreparably "damaged"? I fear that a 6 month old cat (a "teenager") is too set in its ways... Humans are.

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It's best not to split up a bonded pair. It's not nice for the kitties. If you adopt one, he won't be mean or irreparably damaged... but he'll be lonely, and potentially needy, and his crying and sadness will make you feel sad and bad.

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

*Should I adopt a younger female kitten -- that way, fewer allergens and easier to train to like water, go walking on a leash and not attack my canary?

Click to expand...

Again, in my experience, females have more allergans than males, but I'm pretty sure it's cat specific, not gender specific. Cats can be leash trained, but most don't walk on a leash like a dog. It's just a way to allow them outside with you without them being endangered. I'm not sure how a leash would affect your cat not attacking your canary...

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

I realize I am asking a lot of questions, but I feel almost like I am getting married: it's a "til death do us part" commitment, so I appreciate all your help!

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THAT is the perfect attitude with which to enter this!

Originally Posted by GAMMA70

PS Could you recommend a training/behavior book?

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Think Like a Cat: http://www.amazon.com/Think-Like-Cat...tt_at_ep_dpi_3

No Naughty Cats: (Need for positive reinforcement): http://www.amazon.com/Naughty-Cats-D.../dp/0517162008

If you want to clicker-train your cat: Naught No More: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/193...1TP93HKHKJ69GC

Young kittens are very active and playful. They'll play every minute. Midnight does, until recently anyway. Mine came at 8, 12, and 3 weeks. 8 and 12 weeks was fine, because they are big enough that they don't have to be locked in 1 "safe" room, can still step on them, but they are big enough to not get hurt around the house.

If you want more than 1. Get them together, or at least close in age. Lynxx had 9 years of being an only cat, and he wasn't happy when that changed. Luna and Midnight liked each other right away, but couldn't play together because she was 12 weeks old, and he was 3 weeks old. He was to little to play with her. So get 2 the same age, or close enough. It's different with 2 at the same time. They do like to play with you, but they also can play for hours with each other, and don't need your attention all the time.

I don't know about birds. i only have 2 kittens now. never had a bird. Lynxx was ok with fish, as long as he didn't know where their bowls stayed. I do want bettas again, but I wouldn't dare try until these 2 are older.

Adopting an older cat is great to. You won't have to go through kittenhood. They may not attack your bird. If they are really older they may not have any interest in your bird at all.

This is a website about training your cat to leave your pet bird alone:
http://www.avianweb.com/birdsandotherpets.html

As a shelter volunteer, I have to say that the people at the shelter can usually tell you something about a kitten's or cat's personality. We had one recently that we described as "the cat for someone who really wanted a dog." He was calm, loving, and would follow us around all the time, wanting to be near us. I've seen some that I figured would probably disappear under a bed for a long while.

We have cuddlers, players, talkers, even the occasional "pillow." That's a cat that just wants to lie around, no hyperactivity. We have cats that you don't have enough hands to pet as much as they want to be petted, and we have cats that only want to be in the same room with you.

And, especially, I want to point out that if you come across a black cat that you like, adopt it quickly. They are far over-represented in the euthanasia statistics since they are so hard to get adopted.

I second getting a black cat if you find one that you click with, unfortunately black animals are the least likely to be adopted. One study I read (about black dogs and shelters, but it pertains to kitties too) basically stated that it's so hard to get a good picture of a black pet in a shelter - their faces don't show as much expression in pictures so there tends to be less interest. I'm pretty sure it was based on stats from Petfinder and shelters/rescues that are mostly web or foster based rather than the places were you can go to see all the animals.

If you're looking for a specific personality, then I would suggest an older kitten or adult.

I've had 4 cats total, 2 as young kittens (both passed now), 1 as an adult and one as an older kitten (10 months). The young kittens were both quite different as adults than they were as kittens. Both were incredibly sweet as youngins, then both turned quite independent and a little meaner as they aged, as geriatrics they returned to being sweet and loved to be petted. When they were adults they basically just wanted to be fed and left alone, they would sometimes want to be petted but it was definitely on their terms and not for long. The adult was a very sweet boy, he was 8 when we adopted him and we only had him for a short time. We specifically adopted him because he was an older, big, black cat and we knew his adoptability was low based on his age, size and colour. He was awesome and it was nice to know what he was like without having to wait through the kitten stages. It was also very handy because we knew how he would fit into our lifestyle. Our kitten that we have now, the 10 month old, we have only had for a few days - it will be a week on Tuesday. So far, she's exactly how she was described and we're happy to have her here. I'm hoping that she's old enough that her personality isn't going to change much. Of course, it all depends on the cat/kitten and it isn't the same for every cat. You could adopt a kitten that's mellow and it stays mellow, but you never know. That's one of the things that I like about adopting at an older age.

I definitely recommend talking to a rescue that's foster based, they will know the cats/kittens the best and will be able to help you find on that will fit your lifestyle perfectly.

First of all thanks for considering welcoming a cat into your life!

I would recommend an older cat for your situation. Kittens are a lot of work especially single kittens for a first-timer. It's like having a toddler. You have to entertain them... Watch out for them etc...

I love my Aya to pieces. She was a month old stray that I rescued off the street, but if I was looking fro a pet I would adopt an adult from my local humane society as we have done before.

There are many young adult cats 1-4 years in shelters that will most likely be with you for 10plus years if you adopt them and take good care of them, regular vet visits and the like. If you are unsure about which particular cat to adopt I would work with a good shelter/rescue organization. They will often have personality profiles on their kitties and will work with you to find the best match. Do you want a lap lounger or a active kitty, a mush or a 'takes people on its own terms' type cat? (I think given your space limitations that an active cat might get easilly bored and may become destructive given your space limits).

As for allergies can't really comment as I'm not allergic and don't have family who are, but a good cleaning of the apartment regularly, air filters. Also if your place ahs hard floors it would be easier to pick up the hair, dander etc. with a mop I would think than a vacuum. I wouldn't bathe the kitty but you can certainly train most cats to accept a good rub down with a damp cloth. And training a cat to accept brushing is always a good idea as it cuts down on hairballs etc...

You have already received so much good advice I won't offer anymore. Just want to say I hope you find the right one. Blessing to the little one who is about to get a forever home.

I don't have anything new to add either except to second (or third?) the suggestion to get a black cat if you find one you like. I admit I'm heavily biased and I actually went to the shelter looking for a black cat. And that was before I knew they were more difficult to adopt out. There's just something about black cats that I love.

Good luck!

We have about 5 black or black/white cats at the shelter right now. Maybe more than that. Every one of them is a nice cat, and one of them is my current favorite. And he's built like a teddy bear, too!

Originally Posted by nerdrock

I second getting a black cat if you find one that you click with, unfortunately black animals are the least likely to be adopted. One study I read (about black dogs and shelters, but it pertains to kitties too) basically stated that it's so hard to get a good picture of a black pet in a shelter - their faces don't show as much expression in pictures so there tends to be less interest.

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There's also the old bad luck and witchcraft myths that our feline friends face in the Western hemisphere.

(I propose a million kitty march.)
V

Originally Posted by Ducman69

There's also the old bad luck and witchcraft myths that our feline friends face in the Western hemisphere.

(I propose a million kitty march.)
V

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Very true. I forgot about that

And I think I'm going to have nightmares about that "cat" now, lol. Thank.

Dear John,
Welcome to the forums and congratulations on your decision to get a cat.

I recently adopted my first cat (neutered male) from a shelter on January 8th of this year. He was already grown-up (18 months) but he came with good manners and the transition has been very smooth for both him and the humans of my home. So don't pass on all of the older cats! You never know if there might be your perfect fit amongst one of them.

If you explain to the people from whom you are adopting, I'm sure they will be able to suggest you a cat that best fits your needs. They may choose to wait for someone who can adopt two cats but don't be discouraged! As you've already stated it's a life-long commitment for the cat.

The best thing to do is to meet the cat in person.
I was looking for a kitten to be my first cat and I thought I had preferences towards long haired cats but I met and fell in love with the grown-up/short-haired cat I have today. He was eying me from his cage and when I reached over to touch him he instantly started rubbing his head against my fingers. He chose me and I'm glad he did!

In regards to the allergies, even if you bathe your cat often there are people who are allergic to the saliva of a cat. So make sure your mom takes her allergy meds when she visits.

I'm not sure if you can "train" a cat to like water but you can certainly make the process as stress-free and painless as possible by using positive reinforcement techniques and remaining calm/firm/and gentle.

As for "leash-training" I'm going to try once the weather gets nice outside. Whether it fails miserably or he takes to it, at least he will get some fresh air and stay safe.

Best,
April