Interpreting kittens' behavior

Oh, this is actually going really well! TOTALLY NORMAL. The people who's cats more or less just get along are the exceptions.

Some people wait to make the intros until the resident kitty is no longer hissing as a reaction to new kitty behind the door.... but given Calvin is just asserting himself and not out to rid his home of the intruder, I see no reason not to continue! I think you're breaking things up at the right time, and quietly saying "no" is also good - and that he listens to you is even better!

What you do need to watch out for is the combination of warning signs - ears flat back, tail puffed, eyes black, back ridged. Eyes are almost always dilated during play, and ears back or tail puffed also happens during play - but that ridged back... that's one to watch out for. Especially in combination with the other stuff. Then if there's any screaming, it's probably real.

But basically Hobbes is letting Calvin assert his dominance - but not being a complete pushover. It also means Hobbes is getting more comfortable in his space, and each of these things is good!

I don't know how long it'll take Calvin to decide he's established his position with Hobbes, but basically this is really encouraging.

I don't know if you've been praising Calvin for just watching, or for redirecting to play, or eating a treat instead of glaring at Hobbes, but as much as possible focus on the positive "WHAT A GOOD BOY" stuff - even if it's for just "not being mean" or not staring at Hobbes.

Dont' be concerned and thanks for the great descriptions of what is going on.

I have three kittens, Perkins, Perla and Presley, all littermates seven and a half months old.. One older four years old cat Pipsqueak (who loves all cats). When Magilla,( eight months old now) came into the mix things did change, as expected.

Presley (like Calvin) was doing the same thing to Magilla (like Hobbes). Exactly the same scenario. Presley would come into her room and go straight for her head and neck and tackle her. She would take it and let out a loud squeak. I had an interactive toy ready and distracted Presley. In the beginning, this went on for about four days. Magilla had her own room, so I would let the other cats in and supervise. The first four days they came into her room, it was rather confusing. Presley would go after Magilla, maybe hiss a couple of times, but it was more just wanting to play really rough with the new kid. Then Perkins would get involved and Presley and Perkins would go at it, and Magilla ran off to her tent. Both boys would go in the tent and tackle her again. She meowed loud but always put up with it. NOTE: This is a good sign that she was not fighting them off, like Hobbes with Calvin. I would gather the boys up and put them out of the room. Then spend more time with Magilla, one-on-one.

The boys stayed near the door alot. NOTE: Another good sign that they wanted to interact with their new sister. It is a good sign that Calvin is by the door waiting to go back in to see Hobbes and tackle him.

After a couple of hours or so, I would go back in the room with the whole gang again and start over. Presley would do the same thing over and over. Magilla did hiss and swat and run away and Presley would chase her. He just wanted to really play rough with her. Now, Perla, my female, did not like Magilla at all. She would come in the room, but want nothing to do with Magilla. If Magilla got to close to her, Perla would hiss repeatedly. Again, normal behavior.

I did this for about four to five days or so and finally Presley started to let up on Magilla and they actually started napping together on the bed or cat tree perch. NOW!!! Magilla will tackle and go after Presley, so the tables have turned. But they have become VERY close, Presley and Magilla. So I want you to know that Calvin and Hobbes are certainly wanting to interact, but are being cautious and protective of themselves. Once they get really used to eachother, the play will be more like play without hissing and swating. What you are experiencing is really quite mild, although you might not think so. Kittens can be very rough when playing too. Sometimes Magilla will cry(shout) out, but then she will clamp on Presley and he will say the same thing. I wouldn't say that Calvin is the aggressor and Hobbes will be the submissive one. Cats are not like dogs that way. Cats just learn what will be tolerated and/or accepted behavior to one another and co-exist on those terms with one another.

You are proceeding correctly with the introductions. It is time to start opening up the room and allowing Calvin to go in multiple times a day. Pretty soon, once you feel confident with them getting more trusting of eachother, you can leave the door open for the day, and just put Hobbes away at night. I still put Magilla away in her room at night, alone. She likes her room and Perla is still (it has been about five weeks) not 100% with Magilla. BUT...... she is about 90% there, ready to accept Magi. In a matter of days, I might start leaving Magilla's door open all the time, day and night. I have interactive play sessions with my cats. Magilla is totally involved in those now too. Perla will hiss and charge still at Magilla, if Magilla goes for Perla's favorite wand toy. She doesn't like to share with Magi yet. Magilla always backs down from Perla. Actually, Magilla is getting used to the Princess Perla and her temper towards her. Magi just ingnores Perla now and keeps playing. So, now Perla sees this is not working and is giving up the antics.

It is alright that Calvin goes to eat Hobbes food too. Just pick Calvin up and put him by his food. I feed Magilla alone in her room and the others eat downstairs now. That way magilla has about 30 minutes to eat. My other cats are all chow cats, and actually wait by Magilla's door to get at her food. You could still feed them separately if one eats faster than the other. But, sometimes I have found if you feed them together, at the same time, on separate kitty mats, they will learn to eat at the same rate and finish up all of their food. Unless one of them is finicky or picky, this won't work. Magilla is starting to finish up her food, because she is learning that the other cats are waiting to come in and finish her food for her.

I hope this helps!!! Sometimes, you have to let them, have it out a bit and not interfere unless it gets aggressive, and you will know the difference. In the beginning, it will be Calvin making all the moves, so if you think it is getting out of hand, pick Calvin up and put him out of the room for a bit. Then open up the room again, and just keep doing this over and over. I promise you they will become best friends this way. Magilla and Presley are best buddies now, and in the beginning I thought Presley might be a problem, when in actuallity, he was showing the most interest in his new sister. So Calvin is showing curious, playful, I want to meet you but am a bit scared, interest in Hobbes. These are very promising signs. If Calvin wanted nothing to do with Hobbes, I would be more concerned. Like Perla, if Calvin didn't want anything to do with Hobbes, you would have a longer period of acceptance between them. So you are good

Aw sweetie, there's no answer to that question. The one thing with cats is - there are no rules. All we can do is share what we've learned about what helps.

Looking back on it... in a way we were lucky we didn't know any better. We just brought Shelly in (the 2nd rescue we brought indoor-only) and let him go. He and Laz just went at it. It was scary - but didn't seem like they were ACTUALLY killing each other. And we had to go to the airport.... and decided to go. So whatever they needed to do, they basically worked it out in those few hours.

Some people's kitties take a few days. Some take a few weeks, some take a few months.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you want this immediately, BUT we all have learned that life with cats is not exactly, let's say, when we want it!! Cat's teach us patience, don't they??? If you think about this for a moment, let's say you have a five year old child who has your undivided attention for FIVE years now.... and you decide to adopt another five year old child. Child #1 at first will be VERY jealous and angry to have to share you and all of the toys with Child #2. In time, child #1 will accept and begin to enjoy having another kid to play with, read stories together, go to the park with, etc. Child #1 will realize how much more full and interesting his life is now with the new sibling. But, this doesn't happen over night. Same for Calvin accepting Hobbes. Just enjoy the progress you are getting day by day and you will see how rewarding it will become to watch them as they develop their LONG-term relationship. You can't rush PURRFECTION. Just keep going in and out of the room with Calvin and you will see less and less of the puffing up and hissing, etc. All cats are sooooooooooooo different in their personalities and that is why I love them so much. They come around when they are good and ready and that is that... Don't worry, sit back and enjoy your two boys develop their bond, and they will. It could be a few more days or another week. But I think you are well on your way to sooner than later.

Don't feel sorry for them.. I know it is hard. They are in the beginning stages of their relationship. I would keep the sessions shorter for tonight and through tomorrow. Monday let them go a bit longer and then separate them and then back in again. Bring in some new toys/treats. Brush one and then pick up the other and groom that one. Presley too had radar only for Magilla. So then I knew I had to make the sessions shorter still. When Calvin starts to show some decrease in his persistence to "tackle" Hobbes then make the sessions with them longer. You don't want to scold Calvin or say "no, stop that", just pick him up and take him out of the room. Cats are very, very smart and Calvin will start to figure out that when he gets too rough with Hobbes, that he is taken out of the room. And, Hobbes will see that you are keeping him safe. Win, win. To Calvin, Hobbes is his new real new live toy and he is obsessed with him. It will get less and less each day.

I just went out and had to buy some new interactive's and put the older ones away. Cats actually get bored with the same interactive's day after day so I try to keep it fresh. I truly believe that play sessions with multiple cats really helps alleviate any stress, burns off energy, and makes them bond together having to hunt the same toy. I think this also helps keep the cats feeling safe, secure and happy. I give each a chance to catch the prey and praise them for a job well done. Each of my cats has a favorite toy.

But they're both going to be so happy. Hobbes is already better off than he was (!!!!!!), he has SO MUCH to be happy about. And Calvin may be upset right now, but not only will he get over it, he'll be so much happier for this little disruption in his routine. Just do your best to stay focused on the reason you did this, and the positives that are there, and those that will be there.

This isn't quite comparable, but it may help you. Think of it this way... a young child wants ice cream right before dinner. You say no. She also doesn't want to eat her veggies - but you make her have at least some. She's angry, has a tantrum, looks at you with hurt and anger, and says terrible, hurtful things to you.

It's hard, sometimes, to watch those we love be upset when we're doing what's best for them and they don't get it yet.

It's hard - right now - ... but that's what TCS is here for.

Vent, cry - better to us than to the kitties, right?

And, of course, ask away.

Just remember that according to Calvin, Hobbes is an intruder and Calvin must show his dominance over this newbie to his territory. Unfortunately, it's something that they have to work out between them and all you can do is stand by and watch and be sure that they don't do bodily injury to each other.

Be sure to give Calvin lots and lots of love and encouragement to help him feel special and reassured that you still love him and that he's your top cat, even if he ends up not being the dominant one. I've brought 2 kitties into my home with resident cats and both times, the newbie has been the more dominant.

YEAH!!!!!!!!!! This is a great update from you . I am really pleased with the progress. I think you will be really surprised by next weekend I bet you will have two happy brother's who are going to be really close. Great News, keep up the good work with you babies

It can be discouraging. But you can absolutely give him a break. In fact, no harm in giving him a day off.

I definitely think DH should spend a little time with Hobbes without Calvin. He needs to associate him with fun and loves too.

The one step forward, two steps back is also a normal part of the process. But you will also have those three steps forward one step back days too, and they make it worth it.

I know you just want this to be over with, and it IS stressful. But hang in there. Maybe hide the calendars and clocks.

I still think you are making great progress. Just have DH go in and spend some time with Hobbes this evening, treats, play and maybe some brushing. Try not to get worried, start a journal if that will help. That is what I do, a journal. Then I can go back and check on the progress we have made with Magilla and it would solidify that I am making progress with her day by day. Your boys are not going to be immediate friends and this process of introducing cats teaches us patience. Don't be discouraged, be encouraged with the great progress you made earlier today. It will only get better day by day. Just let them chill out for tonight and spend some one-on-one time with your boys

Lauren's right - you've actually made a lot of progress in a short period of time. But Hobbes needs a break, and you need a break. You really don't need to rush this.

Be confident that you love them enough that no matter what happens, you'll be able to make them both happy.

It's hard not to stress. It's hard not to worry. Thinking positively will help (a lot!); taking a step back, and taking those long, deep breaths will help. Spend some time visualizing them being happy together. As you say - it's a lot easier if you know it's going to all work out. The next best thing is trusting that it will.

If I could tell you how many times I was sure bringing Dante in was a terrible idea in the first two weeks I had him - oy! But then one day I was dusting the house and both my cats were sitting together on the love seat, enjoying the sun together. I too kept seeing all the steps back rather than the steps forward...I think the journal idea is great, so you can review it objectively. Otherwise, it's really so easy to feel that nothing good has happened.

I would bet that in another week or so, you'll have the boys touching noses and sniffing each other - but don't be surprised if you still get a hiss here and there when they're fed up with each other. I think you're doing far better than you realize - but I was the same. My intro went about two weeks and I was incredibly depressed during most of it - and looking back, it went very well. It's just hard to see it at the time.

BTW, that angry, scared arch looks just like a Halloween cat. A lot of times, cats get the poofy tail just when they're excited by playing. Here's one link on reading cat body language - you can find a lot out there http://www.petplace.com/cats/what-is...age/page1.aspx

Also, if you're near a library, maybe see if they have any books like Kittens for Dummies, etc. I know it's a cliche, but almost every library has at least one staff person who's a cat person - they can help you find books on behavior and care.

Yes, my kittens always puff up and slink sideways when they are playing together. I think that is a riot when they do that!!!!! It doesn't always mean aggression or anger. Excitement

At the next interaction, maybe one of you play with Calvin, and one play with Hobbes?

Or, actually, what we'd probably do is just let Hobbes hide, and watch while we interacted with Calvin - if he can be distracted to not look for Hobbes. If Calvin will play, play with him. Keep him busy and distracted, and after a good play session, take him out of the room. Then one of you stay to play with Hobbes for "alone time."

It is not a setback!! The two have met and had some very nice moments with eachother. You just got Hobbes, what a week or so ago????? Sometimes, I don't even introduce cats to one another until they have been in their safe room for a couple of weeks at least. So just keep on doing what you are doing, and in no time at all the two of them WILL become friends. Stay positive. It doesn't matter that Hobbes doesn't come out of hiding with Calvin in the room. No biggy. Just pet Calvin and play with Calvin in the room, read, watch TV. Hobbes will come out to play and interact when he is ready. You can't force it. I never did that with Magilla. She would hide in her tent and just peek out to see what I was doing with the other cats. And she was feral!!!! It took her about three weeks to feel comfortable. Please be patient and you will get your reward of a happy little cat family. Happy Valentines Day

Very true - pets, and children, teach us a lot about patience and how large our hearts really are. Again, you and your husband are wonderful people - Calvin and Hobbes couldn't have found a more loving home.

This is fabulous news and super progress!! I am so impressed on how you and your DH are working together to make these two boys feel loved and safe. You two are doing a great job and now you can reap the rewards. Somedays will be a step back but don't be discouraged because the next day will be huge steps forward.

If I had read none of this thread and was watching the video, the only reason I thought, "Oh wait -they're not playing" is because when Calvin got up to follow Hobbes, his tail wasn't "up," it had that bristley hump that points down.

Are they not growling or anything - no one yells? Or did you not record sound? But ears aren't even back; no backs are ridged... they really aren't going at it. Ming Loy in her play attacks put a lot more into her lunges.

But IMO they're just getting a feel for each other - like school yard boys arm wrestling or something.

The "problem" is that you've got two different dynamics going on, and you feel under pressure to rush things because you're going to be leaving town (which is totally understandable). But really, the most important advice when working with kitties, whether it's socializing or introducing (and you're doing both with Hobbes), is you must turn off your clock.

In my opinion, the main issue isn't Calvin - it's that Hobbes doesn't "own" his space yet. He's used to being in a crowded place. He had enough contact with someone that he realized he gets what he needs from you and DH, and he turned to you and DH for comfort (which is just fine!). But he doesn't have "his" territory yet, and he doesn't feel "safe" in the space yet.

This is what happened with Billy. He was close to his brother, and we couldn't adopt them out together. We definitely couldn't leave him outside, alone. He wasn't sick (to our knowledge, though it did turn out he had giardia and probably would not have survived the winter if untreated), but he was SO cat friendly, it broke our hearts to see him trying to make friends with all our kitties, and they wanted nothing to do with him. He had to be satisfied finding companionship from us. But he was scared of being inside, and it wasn't "his" space yet. When Lazlo would "attack" him (I use quotes because Lazlo would basically just run at him LOL), Billy would crouch down and hunker up into a little ball - totally submissive. We really wished he'd find the nerve and spunk to give a little back to Lazlo rather than - what appeared to us - to live in fear.

Now, bear in mind that Billy was already 2 years and a few months old when we brought him inside, and we know for a fact he was born outside and belonged to no one, and had never been inside. But people in the RV park had been friendly to him, and one person in particular had fed Billy and Bing, so they were semi-socialized to people - but not to inside. Anyway, after being inside for about a year, we remember noticing - we weren't sure when it changed - but we could tell that Billy was completely himself, completely at home. And when Lazlo would run at him, Billy would run - and turn, and face him down. Now sometimes Lazlo and Bill find themselves next to each other (like at a feeding time), and Billy will take the opportunity to try to touch noses with Lazlo, just to let him know he still wants to be friends (ever the optimist!) - and Lazlo will whack him on the head, and Billy will then whack him back.

We went through a very similar thing with Chumley. He came in just this past summer. We got him used to living inside first (in a trailer next door). That was ... for a little over two months. Then we started VERY slow introductions, bringing him over here each day for short periods of time, slowly lengthening the time. Initially we didn't introduce him to any of the cats, we introduced him to the space. Then we let him interact with the other cats. And this was after scent swapping for that entire two months, so all of the cats had, at the very least, become desensitized to each others' smells in each others' spaces.

After Chumley had been here full time for a few weeks, it finally dawned on Sheldon that - hey - he's not leaving. Shelly decided he did NOT like Chumley. So he started attacking him. At first, Chum, like Bill, would just get small, and look afraid. But as time passed, and Chumley got more and more comfortable here, in the space, he started defending himself more and more.

So in my experience, the appearance of fear is also associated with the feeling of the new cat that they ARE invading someone else's territory. When introducing cats, it's really best to wait until the newbie is confident in feeling safe in their space (thus the "safe" room LOL). But given you're feeling pressure to ensure they at least aren't going to kill each other while no one's home during the day, you felt a need to get introductions going. That's understandable - but it's also partially why things are going they way they are. Hobbes is dealing with both Calvin and with not being completely confident in his space.

I think you need to work on YOUR confidence (even if you're lying to yourself LOL) and I believe communicating that to Hobbes and Calvin will go a long way to helping this process. Tell them both how happy things ARE (make it present tense, because "the future is always tomorrow"). Call me crazy, but I think it will help. Being positive and projecting that is important, both in my opinion and in my experience.

The flip side to this is that I'm sure Hobbes KNOWS you rescued him, and he knows you're making him better. We've always made progress in our relationships with our rescue kitties SO MUCH faster when they're ill than when they're "just" afraid.

In the end, there is no "right" and no "wrong" in cat introductions. There are just things that can be done that (usually) make them go more smoothly.

But really, I think you've already achieved the main goal - and that is being confident that they'll be OK together when you have to leave for so long.

Once Hobbes gets more comfortable in your home, you may have some actual fighting on your hands. But that would be a good thing - because clearly neither of them is seriously aggressive, so it would just be "the boys" establishing who's who and what's what, and it would mean that Hobbes is coming into his own.

I did watch the video and there was sound. IMHO - these are two cats who are playing and having fun. I saw NO fighting or aggression on either sides. There was no growling, hissing just a few peeps from Hobbes. I am glad you showed the video. My cats go at it MUCH more aggressively than those two. Mine are very aggressive players. Presley did the same thing to Magilla, he did chase her too and she would run behind things, just like Hobbes did with Calvin. Now, Presley and Magilla are completely bonded and no one else plays with Magilla except Presley.

Please take a step back, I also think Hobbes needs more time in his room without Calvin. Now that they have met, they don't need to be together all day. At least for a couple of more days, let Hobbes feel more comfortable in his room. You can even put Calvin in the room and take Hobbes out into the living room area without Calvin around. I did that too with Magilla, I just forgot to mention this.

Once Hobbes feels like he owns and belongs in your home, he will be even more confident interacting with Calvin. Honestly, they are getting along beautifully in my eyes. That was not fighting, that was playing!!!! Thanks for sharing, they are beautiful cats