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I think it's Jasmine's time to cross over the bridge...  

post #1 of 44
2/3/11 at 6:40pm
Thread Starter 
Hi all,

Thanks so much to everyone who has shown such kindness and caring over these past 6 months. It's been a long and sometimes difficult journey. Jasmine has had vet visits every week now for the past 5 months, weekly sub-Q fluids, numerous daily meds, even a bit of chinese herbal concoctions, and every attempt to keep her going - including a regular daily regimen of 7 compounded, liquid medicines given in syringes. It has all been a labor of love in every sense. If I knew she had more time I'd continue it all in a heartbeat.

She amazingly bounced back from what looked to be the end about a month ago, having almost miraculously beaten a URI, but now I think she is showing me every sign that she is ready to let go. Her weight is dropping rapidly, she is not eating much anymore, and she just seems so tired and worn out.

I made a promise to her, and myself, many months ago, that I'll do the right thing for her when it's time.......as hard as that realization is...I know in my heart that we are at the time. Now, it's my turn to be as strong for her as I know she has tried to be for me - especially so since cats hide their illnesses so well.

Jasmine is 15 and I've had her for 12 of those years. I've never had a 'geriatric' cat before that lived this long, and so I have developed a newfound appreciation for the term 'lifelong commitment' with regards to having a pet. We got off to a rocky start when she came home, but her and I became close in a special way - even though she was never a 'hold me' type of lap cat. That has never been her way and so I have still been honoring that knowing that it would not be her choice if she were better and stronger. For her to wake up and find me cuddling her on the sofa would not, over the years, have been to her liking in any way!

But...that being said...she has always LOVED to be brushed and so I have decided that the very last thing she will ever feel before she passes is the brush going across her now very bony frame. Jasmine, in her better days, would actually grab the brush while I was holding it and simply brush herself by moving her head back and forth! So, if you didn't do it, she'd take care of business! It is a pleasant and humorous memory I will treasure always, along with many others.

My appointment is Monday evening. It's hard to think that she will leave home and not come back - being that we've decided on cremation. I have never been down this road (cremation) with an animal and so welcome any thoughts from others' experiences.

Unless there is some positive change, I am certain it will be the last visit for her. No more needles or syringes, fluids or blood tests! I know that a younger, more alert Jasmine would have been swatting and hissing at me to no end if I'd have attempted to come at her with anything other than a brush!

Thanks again everyone. I'll check in again later, but I know that after this is done I'll need some time and peace from all that has transpired over the past emotional half-year. I do not plan on writing right away following the appointment - I just feel that whatever thoughts and feelings surface I will need to dwell on privately, and so I am sharing everything now, while Jasmine is still with me.

You are all so good and so caring. I have no doubt that by the summer I'll be back here to hopefully report news of a new feline addition to the family! Jasmine is special, though, and will always be close to my heart.

Kindest regards,
Keith
post #2 of 44
2/3/11 at 7:07pm
Oh Keith, my heart just breaks for you. I was in your spot at the end of December and know all the heartbreak and consideration put into this decision. Praying all will go well with Jasmine on Monday and that her passing will be peaceful and bring you closure and comfort knowing she's no longer in pain.
post #3 of 44
2/3/11 at 7:14pm
My thoughts are with you and Jasmine. It sounds like she has had a great life with you, and she is lucky to have an owner/human who is committed to doing the best thing for her, no matter how hard that is for you. I wish you both peace in your final time together.
post #4 of 44
2/3/11 at 7:25pm
I'm so sorry, Three4rd. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. May Jasmine's passing be calm and gentle and may you be peaceful in your heart.

God bless you, Sweetie. <<<Hugs>>>

AC
post #5 of 44
2/3/11 at 7:30pm
You shared your feelings about your journey with Jasmine, from a place of great love.

Sending thoughts of peace to you both.
post #6 of 44
2/3/11 at 7:53pm
I am so sorry about Jasmine. ~hugs~

We have had 2 pets cremated. My chinchilla in September '09 and more recently my husband's dog. Both were put in lovely boxes and we've set up little memorials for them.
post #7 of 44
2/3/11 at 8:13pm
Having as many as I do death comes at least once a year sadly

I never do creamation with ashes returned as to expensive, and with cat I have I have fears of ashes falling down.

I do a group creamation. I have seen an individual creamation on a pitbull(40lbs) and seen the remains. they came bagged in a box and then the guy transfered the bag into an urn.

In all my experience a sedation shots given and me personally I tell them soon as the cats out go ahead give the final shot as I feel ...more saddend, by the cat in that state and waiting 5-10 minutes for me to say my goodbyes(anyone else do this or am I alone?)

Then final shot given. They go fast after. Only one made any noise after she had passed(was holding her and told air was in lungs) one peed but was in seizures. most just went.

to you been there to many times you did alot for her and have a truly great vet whos very knowledgable
post #8 of 44
2/3/11 at 8:22pm
I haven't had to travel this path yet as the first of our kitties are just becoming seniors, and I have no experience with the health problems of older kitties.

But my heart goes out to you and Jasmine. I do know the right decisions for our kitties are sometimes the hardest to make. These last few days, I'd just do whatever I could to help Jasmine enjoy them, whatever that is (if there's anything in addition to the brush!) for her.

post #9 of 44
2/3/11 at 8:41pm
You have given Jasmine a life filled with love and joy, as she has to you. We know when it is truly time to let them go, they do tell us. We give our cats gifts their whole life through, and the hardest gift to give is the last one. I am sorry
post #10 of 44
2/3/11 at 8:46pm
My heart hurts for you. I lost my sweet Sissy girl in July to cancer. She was my first geriatric cat too - and the first of my adult life to cross the bridge. I know the pain and I know the feeling of "it's time." Sissy passed in my arms while I looked into her eyes and sang to her. I know that Jasmine will feel your love for her as you brush her fur. Sissy, too, had been reduced to skin and bones by the time she went. My thoughts are with you and sweet Jasmine on Monday.
post #11 of 44
2/4/11 at 3:09am
I have heard the saying, "I would rather see my pet to the bridge a day early rather than a day late" or something to that effect.

When you look back, you will know you gave the ultimate kindness at the right time. How caring of you to brush her at the end.

I will have you two in my prayers. Her age is a testament to the excellent care you have given her.

Take your time my friend to return. It was nice reading about your little friend and the relationship between the two of you. Her legacy is us knowing what a good kitty she was.

God Bless
post #12 of 44
2/4/11 at 5:22am
My heart goes out to you. Losing a beloved kitty is a pain like no other. We lost our Heidi Ann a year and a half ago; her legs failed her due to severe arthritis and we made arrangements for our vet to come to our home. She received a big dose of anesthesia (our vet prefers this method of euthanasia) and crossed peacefully and so very quickly...

The days before her final day were equally painful to the ones after her passing. Being able to release her from pain and suffering was comforting but did not make it any easier. I still mourn her and I think I always will...Just like Jasmine, Heidi Ann needed care around the clock and if I could give you any advice it would be to tell her a million times and more how much you love her. This would be for you, she already knows that...

We too have her ashes in a wooden box and a beautiful photo of hers next to it.

I will be thinking of your sweet Jasmine and you during these very difficult times...
post #13 of 44
2/4/11 at 5:27am
I'm so sorry to read this about Jasmine.

We had Lynxx cremated. The vet has a funeral home for pets, that they work with. They will cremate, they will also bury your pet in their cemetery. Only they were located in a town we never heard of, and we wanted him to be with us. They took his body, they did the cremation, returned him to the vet. They sent us a catalog where we could choose what box we wanted, and have written on it, what ever we wanted to say.

Check with your vet, I'm sure they either work with a place, or can recommend a place for you to contact.

Also the vet put Lynxx's paw prints on to card board and mailed that to us. You can ask your vet if they would do that for Jasmine.
post #14 of 44
2/4/11 at 5:33am
Keith, I am so sorry to come here and see this thread. I understand the paind, we all do. You have loved Jasmine well. She has had a blessed life, and her 15 years is a testament to that. It surely does take some time to get where you can come back here and we all understand that too. We will be thinking of you and Jasmine on Monday and throughout the weekend. Do the brushing and anything else that is special for the two of you. Hugs to you my friend and God bless.
post #15 of 44
2/4/11 at 5:49am
Keith,
My thoughts, prayers, and love go out to you and Jasmine. I have had several senior cats (one even got to 18!!), and they are life long friends. Jasmine is very lucky to have a friend who has been with her for almost all of her life, and who has loved her the entire time. She will thank you for your kindness to rid her of her pain, and allow her to run and play while she waits for you at the bridge. Have a caring, loving weekend with Jasmine, and I will be thinking of you both on Monday.

Erin
post #16 of 44
2/4/11 at 5:54am
Keith, I'm so sorry you are facing the loss of your Jasmine. Your love for her is so evident. I'll keep you both in my heart this weekend.

How lucky she is to have gotten to spend her life with you!
post #17 of 44
2/4/11 at 7:45am
I've been there and done that with to cats of my own. Patty was 16 and my first cat but she started having breathing problems this was after a year of illness and no blatter control to the point we just kept her in the basement because she couldn't control her functions anymore. The other was a cat "Baby" I just had her a few months and came home to find her comatose on the bathroom floor. They could never tell me why that happened but sometimes it's the best and kindest thing you can do it to let them go. I've got a 14 year cat that is starting to go through health issues and has almost died before. I promised myself if he gets seriously ill again I'll let him go. He's had a good life. It's never easy though.
post #18 of 44
2/4/11 at 8:07am
I'm so very sorry. I've been down this road many times. It doesn't get any easier. She has been very lucky to have you, and I'm sure you feel the same about her. When the time is right, you know, and the most loving thing is to release her from her physical trials. She will never leave you.

I have had to have several cats cremated as the vets here aren't allowed to release the bodies. However, there are vets who will come to the house and do euthanasia, and leave the body. If you google "housecall vets" you will find an organization with such vets listed for your area. This is for the U.S., maybe Canada, too.

For the cats I have had cremated, I eventually buried the ashes in my backyard. I have a little cemetery there in the back among the evergreens. I have the bodies of two of them there, the ones who died at home, and the ashes of a couple. Having their remains close to me is comforting.

I hope the knowledge that you loved her well, took great care of her, did all you could, gave her a long life, and released her with love - will all help mitigate your grief.

Robin
post #19 of 44
2/4/11 at 9:31am
I am so sorry to hear about this!
I had to put the sweetest little boycat to sleep a couple of years ago. I have never cried so hard in my life. He would wiggle his whiskers if you made kissy noises at him. He still did that at the end, purring and weak. I only regret that I hadn't done it at least a few hours earlier. He had a seizure just before we did it and I am so sorry he had to go through that. When I got back home the neighbor's cat was waiting on the steps and cuddled me as I sat there crying....another sweetheart.

As for memorializing her, you could do what I did. I wasn't able to afford the whole deal with getting the ashes back (I had just spent my last $1500 on tests for him and I wasn't working) so I got the vet to clip some hair from him and I stuck it on a picture of him and put it all in a frame. If you are even a tiny bit into crafts you could get some clay of your own and do paw prints yourself before you take her in. Just the process of memorializing, even if it hurts, might help you with closure. Take care....I really feel for you, and as you can tell so do many on this forum.
post #20 of 44
2/4/11 at 11:18am
I have a habit of reading without logging in but your post had me so emotional I wanted to log in to post a reply.

My Kismet also loves to be brushed and it really hit me when I thought of me doing that were it his time and how happy he would feel and I think it is beautiful that you will do that for your kitty as the last comfort.

I will keep you and your kitty in my thoughts all weekend no doubt... and hope that on Monday your little angel slips away peacefully feeling love and happiness. I send you vibes of comfort as well... it is never an easy decision.

*wipes tears away*

I am so sorry.
post #21 of 44
2/4/11 at 11:34am
My heart just aches for you & Jasmine. I had to make that decision several times now, and most recently, last year when I had to have my beloved Maverick put to sleep after his health failed him. He fought valiantly for about a year, then lost his battle. Losing him hurt more than I ever could have imagined: he was the "love of my life" kitty and I miss him horribly. I still can't look at his pix or watch his videos without bawling. The only thing that gives me peace is knowing that he's no longer suffering, and is happy & pain free at the Rainbow Bridge. I won't lie to you and say it will be easy when you have to take Jasmine in on Monday, but you'll also be comforted in knowing that she will no longer suffer, and her passing will be peaceful. I'm sure she'll love you knowing that you love her enough to end her misery, and she'll be grateful to you too. Spend as much time with her as you can these next few days, and give her all the attention & love that you have.

I had Maverick cremated, and set up a special place for him in the house as a memorial. I feel comforted knowing that he's still "with me". This may be something that you may want to consider doing.



I also had a special ring & bracelet made up to honor him which has his name & the dates engraved on them that I were all the time. I don't know if that would be anything you'd want to do, but I thought I'd mention it.

If you can't come around for awhile to talk about it, please don't feel badly about it: we'd all understand. I felt the same way too after losing my Maverick: I still struggle with it...

I hope your heart heals soon, and I hope Jasmine's passing is peaceful.
post #22 of 44
2/4/11 at 4:14pm
KittKatt,

What a beautiful memorial to your Maverick!
post #23 of 44
2/4/11 at 4:55pm
Keith!
We've cared for a number of older cats and have had to finally make the difficult decision you are facing. For Mandy,Onyx, Bailey and Sweetie I was the last face they saw, as I petted their little heads as they crossed the Rainbow Bridge.
We've had all of our "Furry children" individually cremated and keep their ashes in a place of honor in our home!
My wife and I have decided that which ever one of us passes first, the other will have our "Kitties" placed in our casket with us.
It's clear you have done everything possible for Jasmine! You'll be in our prayers!
God Bless both of you!
Fred, Diane & Sophie
post #24 of 44
2/8/11 at 11:27am
Has anyone heard from Keith?
post #25 of 44
2/9/11 at 10:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueyedgirl5946 View Post
Has anyone heard from Keith?
I've been wondering about what's going on, too. I checked out the RB Bridge forum to see if he had posted a memorial thread, but didn't see one. Let us know how you're doing, Keith.
post #26 of 44
2/9/11 at 10:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by My4LLMA View Post
KittKatt,

What a beautiful memorial to your Maverick!
Thanks. Maverick's memorial place is special to me, although I still have a difficult time being near it. I miss him horribly.
post #27 of 44
2/9/11 at 5:37pm
I too was wondering how he is... I also checked the RB area to see if he posted. I hope he just needed a bit of time away from the forums.
post #28 of 44
2/10/11 at 6:20pm
I have heard from Keith. He is struggling with his loss, but he is okay. I am sure when he can he will come back and post. For now, just say a prayer for him and his family. He is hurting.
post #29 of 44
2/10/11 at 6:46pm
Thank you for the update on Keith. It's totally understandable that he and his family are grieving. Losing a beloved pet is so difficult.
post #30 of 44
2/11/11 at 9:48am
Thanks for the update - that was what I figured
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