I’m having an issue with a male and female cat. I recently moved into my boyfriend’s apartment with my 5 year old female cat. My boyfriend has a 3 year old male cat and when I first moved in there were little fights between the two of them, but nothing major. For a week they even seemed like they were getting along, they were sleeping together, and sharing a food bowl and everything. At first my cat seemed like the dominant one; his would go after her and she would smack and hiss at him, and he would stop, but it seems like the tables have turned, and he won't leave her alone. It’s been about a month since moving in, and the fighting has escalated to a stressful level.
The male cat constantly goes after my female cat almost all night long. Last night was particularly bad; lots of screaming and hissing, and even though both cats nails are clipped my cat drew blood trying to defend herself (the male has a scratch by his eye). We were up until almost 3 in the morning trying to keep them apart. We tried keeping my cat in our bedroom with us, but his started scratching at the door keeping us up until we had no choice but to open the door again, and when my cat left the room it caused yet another fight.
My cat can’t do anything around the apartment anymore, not even sleep. At one point she was sleeping peacefully on our bed when the male jumped on her triggering another fight. He chews on her neck and back when she tries to sleep, pounces on and kicks her with his back legs when she tries walking anywhere, attacks her when she’s trying to use HER litter box (he hears her scratching at the litter and runs into the box), tries to attack her while she’s trying to hide from him behind the stove or kitchen table, it’s just getting to be way too stressful!
We’ve tried many things to stop the fighting; spraying them with water, separating them, making loud noises, nothing stops it. His cat is from a shelter and when he adopted he said that his cat was kept separate from the others, and that the shelter workers did not know his history, except that it’s possible he was abused. His cat has always been a bit on the aggressive and kind of on the strange side. He likes playing rough with everything, chews through wires and cables, and has a habit of meowing very loudly at closed doors for hours on end (including doors he’s only seen opened once). He's always tried using a spray bottle to stop his cat from scratching, biting etc. but it never seems to have an affect on the cat; it works for a minute, then he's back at it. My cat meanwhile is nothing but a lap cat, just likes affection and likes to be affectionate. I’ve never seen her fight with another cat before, and I used to live with a room mate who had a kitten. I don’t know if this brief history of both cats helps at all.
Last night my boyfriend started hinting at getting rid of both the cats (he’s talked about getting rid of his before because sometimes he's just too much to handle, but I don’t think he wants to put him back in a shelter out of fear he won’t be adopted). I know people who would gladly take my cat, but I really don’t want to get rid of her. She’s been with me for almost a year, and she’s a great destresser for me.
Basically, I don’t want to ask him to give his cat away, but I don’t want to give mine away either. We are moving into a new apartment at the end of the month, which I’m hoping will decrease the fighting as both cats will be in a new territory, but I’m worried one of them will get really hurt before then. They’re usually fine during the day (a couple spats here and there, but nothing major) but at night it’s just ridiculous.
Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated, we’re at the end of our rope here!
The male cat constantly goes after my female cat almost all night long. Last night was particularly bad; lots of screaming and hissing, and even though both cats nails are clipped my cat drew blood trying to defend herself (the male has a scratch by his eye). We were up until almost 3 in the morning trying to keep them apart. We tried keeping my cat in our bedroom with us, but his started scratching at the door keeping us up until we had no choice but to open the door again, and when my cat left the room it caused yet another fight.
My cat can’t do anything around the apartment anymore, not even sleep. At one point she was sleeping peacefully on our bed when the male jumped on her triggering another fight. He chews on her neck and back when she tries to sleep, pounces on and kicks her with his back legs when she tries walking anywhere, attacks her when she’s trying to use HER litter box (he hears her scratching at the litter and runs into the box), tries to attack her while she’s trying to hide from him behind the stove or kitchen table, it’s just getting to be way too stressful!
We’ve tried many things to stop the fighting; spraying them with water, separating them, making loud noises, nothing stops it. His cat is from a shelter and when he adopted he said that his cat was kept separate from the others, and that the shelter workers did not know his history, except that it’s possible he was abused. His cat has always been a bit on the aggressive and kind of on the strange side. He likes playing rough with everything, chews through wires and cables, and has a habit of meowing very loudly at closed doors for hours on end (including doors he’s only seen opened once). He's always tried using a spray bottle to stop his cat from scratching, biting etc. but it never seems to have an affect on the cat; it works for a minute, then he's back at it. My cat meanwhile is nothing but a lap cat, just likes affection and likes to be affectionate. I’ve never seen her fight with another cat before, and I used to live with a room mate who had a kitten. I don’t know if this brief history of both cats helps at all.
Last night my boyfriend started hinting at getting rid of both the cats (he’s talked about getting rid of his before because sometimes he's just too much to handle, but I don’t think he wants to put him back in a shelter out of fear he won’t be adopted). I know people who would gladly take my cat, but I really don’t want to get rid of her. She’s been with me for almost a year, and she’s a great destresser for me.
Basically, I don’t want to ask him to give his cat away, but I don’t want to give mine away either. We are moving into a new apartment at the end of the month, which I’m hoping will decrease the fighting as both cats will be in a new territory, but I’m worried one of them will get really hurt before then. They’re usually fine during the day (a couple spats here and there, but nothing major) but at night it’s just ridiculous.
Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated, we’re at the end of our rope here!
. Start over like you just got both cats. I have heard of many positive outcomes with "starting over". The bells are a great idea, so there can't be any sneak attacks. Good Luck
