1 kitten = lonely kitten?

I had posted on the forum earlier regarding adding a dog to our family of 1 adult and 1 6 month old kitten. However, that post seemed rather premature, as it turns out. We ended up with some unexpected expenses recently and after going through out budget and lifestyle, getting a dog/ puppy would not be the best thing for us till we buy a house in 2.5 yrs (we will mostly likely be moving to a different city when my husband is done with his present training here). Getting a dog will mean way more initial expense and since we are interested in a large dog, the cost to feed, vet cost, insurance cost - everything will be more. I do not want to get into a commitment and then have to think twice about vet visits - no pet deserves that.

So would it be a good idea to get another kitten, since we were either ways thinking of 2 dogs and 2 cats in our future?

Some considerations:
1) Calvin loves to hang out with us but at times I feel he's bored. He sometimes plays on his own but at other times he just sits there looking at us while we work. DH and I are both in academia and our work does not end when we are home. We spend at least an hour actively playing with Calvin - some high energy, some low but I am sure he can do with more. When we go out he vocalizes some and then usually goes to his room and sits on a chair and then snoozes - he usually does not play alone when we are not there. Or else he perches on the back of the sofa and looks out the window for a bit and then heads to his room. He is really happy to see us when we are back. Will having a friend help him miss us less?

2) Calvin is well taken care of (barring my stupidity and him injesting a string recently) and is generally a loving, well behaved guy, though a tad spoilt, I must say. Since the day he's been with us (2 months now), he's made the house his own and have favorite spots in each and every room where he hangs out. I don't know how this territorial aspect will play out if we get another. We, at times feel, that he has a tendency to be protective of his toys etc. He was previously fostered with 3 other kittens and 3 adult cats and 1 dog and the foster mom called him "demanding" and when I had emailed to ask how he was with dogs or cats, she did not really elaborate but rather said that he should be fine since he has socialized well with both dogs and cats. We saw him around the brood and he was fine, except 1 time when the dog was irritating him and he hissed at the dog. Calvin is good with his litter box and needless to say, I do not want that to change due to stress with another kitten.

3) I have an upcoming research trip for 6 weeks or so and Calvin will have to be with DH (who either way is his favorite). Now DH is out of the house 12-13 hours and we have set his mealtimes accordingly - we free feed him dry and he has wet at 6 am and 7 pm. So Calvin will remain home alone at this time. I was home most days since he's been here and occassionally we has been left alone for 10 hours or so (maybe a total of 4-5 times). This is a matter of 6 weeks and then I will be back and home most of the time. So is it worth the stress of introducing a kitten for 6 weeks or so when he can be really lonely? If they bond - great, if not, we may have trouble in our hands.

We thoroughly enjoy having Calvin and at this point feel that we are ok with just having him but we want to do the best for Calvin - there is definitely the guilt of being on this trip for 6 weeks. We'd be happy to add another kitten to our family, just do not want to stress Calvin a lot.

What would you have done in our shoes?

I think it depends a lot on the individual cat. Some seem to prefer being only-cats, while some really need company. I adopted an extremely social, high-energy kitten, and despite the amount of time I spent playing with him, he would still get bored and get intro trouble a lot.

It turned out what he really needed was a friend. His behavior dramatically improved upon getting a second cat. It was like he was a whole new cat! It was a perfect decision for us.

However I know some cats do not take well to newcomers (beyond the initial introduction stage i mean, most cats are a little wary and may hiss when they first meet), so only you can assess Calvin's behavior and determine whether or not he'd like a friend.

What is important to consider when getting another cat is temperament. If Calvin is fairly mellow, he'd be best with another mellow cat. If he's high-energy, or an aggressive/energetic player, he needs a cat that can keep up with him and won't get scared or overwhelmed (we got a very feisty, spunky kitten to befriend Apollo since he plays rough).

Thanks saitenyo, for your insightful post. Yes, I totally agree with you. However, it may be my lack of experience with cats/ kittens or just ignorance that I am unable to figure out if Calvin would really appreciate a friend. And trust me, it embarasses me a little.

Calvin loves to hang out with us - sometimes will sit on our lap or lie down beside us and rest. Other times he will run around like crazy - run down the stairs and jump up on his cat tree. He enjoys running around and playing - the laser has him go nuts. Sometimes when he plays on his own, he arches his back and runs around from what I understand to be kittenish play. He's constantly looking for prey while playing. When he's over stimulated he runs around like crazy and at times attacks our leg but usually lets go if we say ouch. I would call him spunky but he has his downtime, too - which I dont know is from boredom or just low energy. Only when he's not feeling well is when we've seen him not be tempted by the laser. I don't see him as an overtly dominant guy and he's by no means a large cat - so I'll probably look for a petite kitten, if we are to take that route. He may be a little on the needier side and wants us to sit with him when he eats. Right now he's playing with a cardboard box and a catnip cigar in his room but will occasionally come to see that I am there. If by any chance I can go to a different floor, without him knowing, I will hear him vocalize loudly till either I respond or he finds me and then he'll stop. We do not see his toys moved around much when we return from being out for a while and either we find him greeting us at the door with sleepy eyes or find him sleeping on "his" chair.
He's curious, high energy, wants to eat everything, gets into things - I guess I am describing a typical kitten.
Does this help anyone in understanding Calvin a little better? I just wish he'd tell me if he wanted a friend.

Oh don't feel embarrassed! Apollo was my first cat, so I was unsure too. People kept telling me that his destructive behavior suggested boredom and that a friend would solve the problem, but I too was very very worried that he'd be upset if I got a second cat. I was so relieved to discover how pleased he was.

But he was kind of an obvious case, because he acted out so much. I imagine it's probably harder to tell if your cat seems generally happy. He might like a friend, he might not!

It does sound like he might enjoy someone to play with though, from your description. The good news I hear it's much easier to introduce kittens than adult cats. Kittens often take to new buddies very well.

Thankfully, if you adopt through a no-kill rescue organization, a lot of them allow you to do a sort of "trial." You can tell them your situation, and explain that you're not sure how your current cat will react yet, and if it doesn't work out you can always return the new cat if they really don't get along at all. Hard as it may be to return a cat, you obviously want to do what's best for Calvin. But hopefully it'll work out just fine.

Originally Posted by saitenyo

I think it depends a lot on the individual cat. Some seem to prefer being only-cats, while some really need company.

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i agree. our cat is very social and loves being around people and is also very good with other animals, but if I try to be affectionate toward another animal he gets verrrrrry territorial and upset. i am punished and so is the house. jericho used to get into alot of trouble because he seemed bored and another cat just isnt in our budget, so i found ways to keep him entertained and he has calmed down a TON now. But i do find that since he is so attached to me and my bf that if we are both gone for a long period of time he will act out. so maybe another kitten would be a good idea for you guys!

When will you be taking this six week trip? If you have at least a month or two before your trip, I would consider adding another kitten. Calvin is young enough to easily accept another kitten, with proper introduction . If you have time before the trip to acclimate the both of them together and time for you to bond with the new baby then, I say go ahead . I know it would be very hard for me though to add another "furbaby" and then go away for that long. You could then wait until you get back on your trip, but then Calvin would be that much older and more set in his ways too.?? I do think Calvin would enjoy the company since he would be spending up to twelve hours a day alone while DH is at work.

I can perhaps talk to the rescue I got Calvin from and see if they would be willing to match us with a kitten and in case things get really bad beyond the normal settling, adjustment process, perhaps they may find another house for the new kitten and till then, I can always foster if no one's harmed. That's something to consider but I do not know if I will have the heart to give up a kitten because they become your babies the moment they come to you. Thanks saitenyo.

My trip is surely an issue that worries me and makes me feel guilty but it's necessary. I will be gone in March - and still have 4 -5 weeks before I go (a little flexible there). It will be hard to leave the new kitten, if we decide to get one, but it will also be rough to leave Calvin. I know I will worry all the time - I do when I go out any time. Don't think that having a 2nd kitten will decrease the anxiety but if they get along, I will be happy knowing that they have some company til DH returns home.

This decision is somehow way tougher than deciding to get Calvin.

Whatever you do, keep telling Calvin the new kitten is his kitten, that he's #1 in your heart- and always greet and feed Calvin first. With such young kittens, this may not be necessary - but it was really helpful when I brought my adult boy in to be a friend to my adult girl (I'd had her about four months).

Definitely a big fan of getting kittens in pairs, for companionship, avoid destructive behavior, teaching each other by example (as long as one figures it out, the other quickly follows), and health with all that good exercise and mental stimulation. Younger the kitty should be easier to introduce to become best buds too.

I'd probably look for a 3-4 month old or so kitten, male or female shouldn't matter (only heard issues on occasion with two females later on). Double the food and vet costs but they can share just about everything else.

Back in the early 1980's I adopted a single kitten. She was about 3 months 8 weeks old. She was a feisty torti and would get into all kinds of trouble when I wasn't home. In hindsight I think a companion kitten would have been ideal for her.

My RB kitty, Chynna came to me when she was about a year old. I adopted Abby when Chynna was 6 years old. Abby was 4 months old. I figured that Abby being a kitten, Chynna would be a great mommy to her. Wrong! Chynna did not like Abby at all. Abby tried so hard to be friends with Chynna and to cuddle. Chynna would have nothing to do with Abby. 12 years later, Chynna still did not like Abby and Abby had become terrified of Chynna. It was grievous

When Chynna went to the RB last July, Abby became a whole different kitty. She was more outgoing, less timid, wanting to cuddle with me more than she had before, and even liked to be picked up.

Late last year I started to feel the heart tugs of wanting to get another kitty. I figured that Abby might like a companion because of how she was when she came to live with me. I decided to not tempt fate and to let Abby live out the rest of her days as my only girl which she seems to enjoy.

A few weeks ago I find myself with Abby at the vet's, and to my surprise, adopting 2 kittens. The kittens were litter mates and bonded. I only really wanted to bring home 1 kitty, but I couldn't separate 2 litter mates who were bonded. Plus I figured that Abby being older, she might feel tormented by a rambunctious kitten. I decided on both kittens. I figured they could play and amuse themselves while Abby continued to be able to get her cuddles/snuggles from me without her feeling threatened that she has been replaced.

The one thing I'm finding with 2 kittens though is that they are way too involved playing with each other to really bother with me at all. Yes, they do come to see me on occasion and will let me go and pick them up (briefly until they want to run and play again), but they are very much into one another.

Should you get another kitten? It depends. Like others said above, it depends on the cat. If you are away for long periods of time during the day, then yes, I would recommend another kitten. But if you are home lots and can socialize with the kitten you do have, you might be all your kitten needs.

It depends on Calvin. How is he around other cats? If you get a kitten, make sure the kitten is close in age. Luna and Midnight aren't cuddle buddies, but are friends and play together.

Thanks for all the invaluable advice, everyone. Really appreciate your inputs.
The problem here is basically that our situation is not typical. If we were out working everyday for long hours, I would be far less confused about getting another kitten. It is the matter of the 6 weeks starting March that is my more immediate concern. There may be a few more weeks later in the year. To us 6 weeks is not huge especially since we'll be at work but Calvin will be home alone and for a 7 month old, I would think that 6 weeks is a while. We just enjoy our family of 3 a lot and Calvin is just so so attached to us, it's unbelievable. I may be trying to selfishly guard what we have with him but need to do what's best for him.

In general, if a kitten/cat is raised with others and has no problems (no fighting, etc. that would warrent him to be an "only" child), then IMO it would be best to get a companion as soon as possible.

On the other hand, some cats are better off as only cats. I usually recommend if the kitten is younger then 6 months old, its really best to have another cat/kitten in the house for them to play with and not be lonely.

Perhaps my two furballs are an exception to the rule, but having two cat buddies definitely doesn't have to mean any less affection towards you. If anything, I would think its more, as when Buttercup has had enough petting sure enough Wesley decides its his turn for rubbin so there's twice the action, and whenever one decides I make a comfy warm chair to plop on the other plops right on too so as not to be left out. Both greet me at the door the second I walk in and ultimately know that I am the keeper of treats, nomnoms, toys, etc... all good things.

But its a big relief when I go out that I can check the cameras on my cellphone and see em cuddled together or chasing and wrestling each other instead of being destructive to my belongings or just flopped out bored.

Otherwise I'd just feel kinda guilty whenever going out to the movies and friends and the like.

Originally Posted by Ducman69

Perhaps my two furballs are an exception to the rule, but having two cat buddies definitely doesn't have to mean any less affection towards you. If anything, I would think its more, as when Buttercup has had enough petting sure enough Wesley decides its his turn for rubbin so there's twice the action, and whenever one decides I make a comfy warm chair to plop on the other plops right on too so as not to be left out. Both greet me at the door the second I walk in and ultimately know that I am the keeper of treats, nomnoms, toys, etc... all good things.

But its a big relief when I go out that I can check the cameras on my cellphone and see em cuddled together or chasing and wrestling each other instead of being destructive to my belongings or just flopped out bored.

Otherwise I'd just feel kinda guilty whenever going out to the movies and friends and the like.

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Thanks much for sharing. I know he will not be less affectionate towards us, just as our love will not divide if we get another furbaby. We just have a nice status quo that I am scared to change.

And once we decide we will have to seek our landlord's permission. We have permission for 1 dog in our lease and they gave us permission to get Calvin in addition. Now we are hoping to trade the permission for the dog for the cat. This should not be a huge deal - logically, they should be ok with it but we are not as cool with each other as we were when we got Calvin. So another potential roadblock.

Please excuse that I haven't read the other replies; I just wanted to be sure I could share my experience with you too.

My girls were littermates. If I had a choice I would always adopt 2 at a time like that. They did keep each other company; though they still fight like the sisters they are. LOL In some ways they seemed to stay out of some troubles because they'd be off wrestling or chasing things together. When they were really tiny we had a big dog crate we kept them in when we weren't home or were asleep. They loved being in there together.

Now adding another will require you to do introductions and that can take some time; but it can be good too. My Mother adopted her cat Pumpkin and then Bunny 3 days later. Pumpkin was this small, sickly little kitten. I think he was like 12 weeks old; I'm not sure now but he was tiny. Bunny was like 2-3 years old. It worked well with them back then. She would bathe him and snuggle him while he slept. He was a preemie. At the shelter the staff would carry him around in their shirt pockets because he was always cold. Bunny became his Mommy! Now he harasses her till she screams. But he has Olivia to wrestle with so they mostly leave Bunny alone. I think if she had her choice; Bunny would prefer a 1 cat house. She even smacks the dog! But with us she is super loving.

So it kind of depends on the cat you find. If you don't have time to do the introductions waiting might be better. Introducing kittens has always been easier for me. But I feel like they do take more work too; which might not be good with you going away.

Good luck!

From personal experience, my Rosie loved Sophie once she got used to her She had someone to play with and cuddle with throughout the day instead of waiting for me on an evening

So after considering the pros and cons, and after talking to Calvin's foster mom, we decided to go ahead and get a friend for Calvin! We are surely excited about it but things have not gone the way we expected. Do they ever?

DH and I have a real fondness for tabbies, and our experience (Calvin and others we have encountered) with male tabbies have been really good and so we are hoping to add an orange/red/ buff tabby to our family. There were 3 with the rescue that we got Calvin from but they have since been adopted, though they were still on the website as available. One kitten that they suggested us to, we have met at our local petsmart and did not connect with him, though at that point we were not there to check for purposes of adoption. He's cute, definitely, but I think too laid back for Calvin. He definitely does not behave like a 7 month old.

I don't think the rescue people are very happy with me right now. I mean, I did not place an order for a male orange tabby. They suggested a kitten to me and I wrote back and said, DH and I wanted to add a male orange tabby and I see you have three available and we would like one of them. It's not that there's anything wrong with the kitten they currently have but we just did not feel he's a very good match with Calvin when we met him and did not feel a connection. Their tone was not something that I have come to expect from them from our previous interactions.

So what do you suggest? Should I go exploring other rescues? I like this rescue since all their animals are fostered. I cannot wait too long to adopt since I need time to do proper introductions before I go out of town in March.

Also is it a big no no to be a little choosy when rescuing? Going to shelter is a different thing where you meet a few and then often you'll connect with someone. But with fosters it's a more intimate process and I don't think I can go around to different peoples houses and then meet a kitten and then say no I dont feel a connection and walk out. So I am trying to be selective over the internet and even then I am feeling guilty. Uggghhhh

I think if a kitty captures your heart and it decides you are its person, the colour of their fur doesn't matter.

I've always chosen my furbabies based on a connection when I met them in person. (I've never looked online for the purpose of finding one to adopt.) I think it can be frustrating for shelter workers when people are choosy with things like that. Like other cats get passed over because they don't have the best coat coloring. It does seem to me that some coats predict a personality; like every tuxedo I've known has been very vocal. Torties living up to the tortitude sterotype; etc. So I don't think it's necessarily "wrong" to pick a cat based on those kinds of things; but I can see why it might be frustrating to a shelter worker.

Maybe instead ask them if they have any recommendations? They should know the cats the best and that should be a help to you too. Good luck!