Can you explain any of my cats behaviors?

They all sound like normal cats to me. Sorry, no explanations here.

I'll do my best to explain the cats' reasoning, but really there's no definite explanation, it's how they are.

1. "This is MY toy" my kitten does that all the time. It has also meant "I want you to play with this toy with me" here
2. Cats crave warmth, especially when they're sleeping. 14% of all body heat is expelled through the head, making it one of the more radiant parts of the body, and a perfect heating pad.
3. He wants your atention for some reason, either to play or for food. You should ignore this behavior or he will continue, and maybe start being annoying at night. This is where it gets confusing: it could also just be affection towards you, and he is rubbing his scent on you. That's why everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt.
4. Cats are fickle; they want attention when they ask for it, and be darned if you try otherwise. My older cat did that, but once he got used to being pet, he stopped biting and started LOVING it.
5. "Why is that door closed, and what are those noises behind there?" is the question your cat is asking. Every morning I am greeted by two cats when I open the bathroom door after my shower. Your cats see your entire house/apartment as THEIR territory, and they are used to having it a certain way. So when one part is closed off from them, they wonder.
6. This is another 'I want atention on my terms' moment. Don't force anything, and those attention-seking times should become more and closer together over time. Even really shy cats tend to get more sociable with their humans as they get older.
7. This is a common behavior in kittens and cats who were seperated too young from their mothers. The kneading is calming to them and is similar to extracting milk frmo their mothers, which is a calming time for them. The soft blanket also reaffirms those feelings.

Sounds like you have normal kitties showing normal behavior! Of course, none of us can tell exactly what all these behaviors mean, but we can come close!

1. Jessa carries around a sock and meows. "Mine!"

2. Champ will sit on your hair while you sleep. He also gets in your ear and purrs. He loves you and wants to be near you. Sleeping on your hair provides him extra insulation and warmth. Purring means he's content.

3. Chuck head butts you while you sleep. "Wake up!" or "I love you." or "You're MY human."

4. Lincoln bites you when you pet him, yet he comes to you. When he starts biting, you've overstimulated him and he's had enough. He's just conveying his opinion in the only way he can. (All of my kitties have done this.) He still comes to you because he trusts you, loves you, feels safe with you, and you're his human.

5. New Kitty will sit on the washer outside of the bathroom and will wait for you. "I want to come in and sit by you. I want to be near you. I want to know what's going on. Please let me in!" (This is why we have an open door policy in my house unless we have company over.)

6. Marshal is shy and hates pets, but when in the mood won't leave you alone. He wants to be loved on his terms. Be patient with him and let him come to trust you and set the pace, and you might be surprised how much he'll come to love being petted.

7. Meow-Meow climbs in my lap only, grabs my blanket in her mouth and starts kneading. She's comforting herself and getting ready to settle down for a nap. Common for kitties separated from their mother too soon.

1. Jessa carries around a sock and meows. Luna will do that. She likes hiding my socks, she also likes us to throw the sock, and she'll go fetch it.
2. Champ will sit on your hair while you sleep. He also gets in your ear and purrs. Midnight likes to sleep above my head on my pillow sometimes. He's just comfortable there. Lynxx used to purr in my ear. His way of saying I love you.
3. Chuck head butts you while you sleep. Could be him wanting you awake to pat him, or play with him, or feed him.
4. Lincoln bites you when you pet him, yet he comes to you. Luna bites when she wants food, or when she wants affection. Lynxx bit if we were patting him, but not directly looking at him. Or he'd bite us to tell us to leave him alone.
5. New Kitty will sit on the washer outside of the bathroom and will wait for you. Wants to be with you, or wants to get in the bathroom. The bathroom is the 1 room Luna and Midnight aren't allowed, and their always waiting at the door for us to come out so they can sneak in.
6. Marshal is shy and hates pets, but when in the mood won't leave you alone. He likes being patted only when he wants it.
7. Meow-Meow climbs in my lap only, grabs my blanket in her mouth and starts kneading. Midnight has a blanket he sucks on, every night. Sometimes during the day. He'll need, purr, and rock side to side. It's something comforting.