Queen Eva, testing the limits with Mom

Queen Eva has surely reached the teenager stage. She has some New Things going on.

One thing is to get somewhere I don't want her to be, and when I tell her no, she gives me a Defiant Look. When I reach for her to remove her, she grabs my hand and Bites.

Or she will be in a nice Cat Spot, but looking so sweet I just have to pet her. Usually she likes this and encourages it by murmuring sweet nothings, but the past few days, instead of purring and leaning into the pet, she grabs my hand and bites it.

Well...I told her there is No Biting in this house. I will not have a Cat Who Bites!

So I tell her no, and reach for her again. This used to work, Queen Eva understands and respects No, to a point. After the first no, she would either jump down on her own, or allow me to pick her up and put her down.

But now she's carrying the Rebel Act a little further. Instead of letting me extricate her or jumping down on her own, or allowing me to pet her, after I tell her no bite, she now bites harder....and growls when doing it. So my response now is to pick her up and hold her in my lap.

Her response to this is to growl some more and HISS at me, LOL!

The first time she did that, growl and hiss as I held her against her will, I was so surprised I burst into laughter and let go.

Well she took that to mean it was a good way to get Mommie to let her go, so she tried it again. Except the next time I was prepared and when she bit, growled and hissed, instead of laughing I simply held her in a firmer grip and gave her kisses on top of her head and told her everything is all right.

I hold her, doing this, until she stops growling and hissing, and goes quiet. I then drop my hands away from her, still kissing. By then she is enjoying the kisses and doesn't always notice when she is no longer being held, but when she does notice, she jumps down and trots off on Important Business.

PS She is in the Behind The Computer Bed right now. I just peeked over to give her a pet. She said prrrrrrt, with a crackly love-mew, curled into the pet and purred. Butter wouldn't melt.

It can be yes. Patience and consistency and love will win the day every time, even if it takes years.

It does sound like Tonya is learning, with your gentle method. What you are doing is very effective, I use similar methods with certain cats.

Mazy, picked up as a stray and brought into the shelter at four months old, then adopted by me at six months old, was unsocialized and took about 18 months to for her to learn to not bite me. It was a very long 18 months with daily, even hourly, challenges, dealing with her need to bite. Like you, I use a method involving showing disapproval ("No, Mazy" ) and turning my back and ignoring her, for a few minutes before returning to the activity. After three tries, I would walk away from her and ignore her for a long while.

With time she began to catch herself before she bit, and I would heap praise on her for that.

She's a smart cat, but she didn't know how to live with a human, and was extremely defensive. Mazy's instinct to bite first, ask questions later, is still there, just below the surface, but she has learned to control it.

Jennie, rescued adult stray, learned in one day that Biting Is Not Allowed. I only had to tell her no and turn my back on her twice, in one petting session. She never tried again.

With Queen Eva the situation is a bit different. She's been with me since she was tiny, though I don't know what her first four weeks of life were like, I know the rest and there is no history of abuse or having to survive in the big bad world all on her own and be afraid of people. I mean, she was not well taken care of in the house I rescued her from, nor was she understood, she was labeled already as "that mean cat" but she was not being physically abused (yet) either.

She didn't start out as a biter when I rescued her from there and brought her home, Screamer yes. Lots of "don't touch me" screaming, but no biting. This biting is new, within the past two weeks. So my method is a little different.