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Pregnant moms and after birth advice

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
Howdy! I don't know if this is already in existance, but for those mommies that are pregnant, cat or non-cat I thought maybe you would want to post here, the foods you eat, if the babies move, etc., any advice on child-rearing such as how to get poopy stain of daddy's white t-shirts, etc. That way we all know who is pregnant or expecting or about to deliver or have children. If not a good idea, then delete it

I'll start, how to preserve the smell of diapers, meaning so that it doesn't take over the whole house! Yeck!!! Some people said that the diaper genie didn't work so I didn't buy one
post #2 of 40
I am due on September 25th! I have been eating extra healthy lately. I have Materna vitamins that I take each and every morning with a glass of juice. The baby moves so much! I can feel it's feet run across my belly!
post #3 of 40
Well I am NOT pregnant thank heavens but just wanted to comment.

My daughter-in-law had a diaper genie and I thought it did a pretty good job. Just my opinion.
post #4 of 40
Thread Starter 
Congratulations Tasha!!! That is so funny, my son was born on the 27th of September last year!!! I loved it when I could feel him move and sometimes I would push against his feet or hand in response Do you know what you're having?

I think I'll go with the diaper genie, doesn't hurt to try, right?
post #5 of 40
Tasha - Sept 25th isnt long away! I remember that feeling of feet running across my tummy - I LOVE that feeling, and it made me laugh all the time. Make the most of that feeling!
I think a diaper genie will help a lot, keep that poopy smell away!
When the little darling is born Tasha, post pics! I can't wait to see!

Oh, I do recommend a book called "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" - it is great!!!!!
post #6 of 40
I LOVED the diaper Genie it worked great! I wish I still had it for the litter box. I think they have just come out with something like it for litter box waste.

I have had 6 children and would like to remind you ladies to exercise! It really does make a difference and Lamaze classes are also a huge help. Make sure you practise the technics every day. Especially the relaxation parts, they come in handy after babies are born too.
post #7 of 40
I wanted to know the sex of my baby but the doctor wouldn't tell me! She said we should keep it a surprise! I can't wait!
post #8 of 40
My "baby" is now 15, so this all seems a bit foreign to me now after all these years! My other child turned 21 yesterday! How time flies.

Much to the dismay of some people, I used disposable diapers. I tried cloth when I was in a pinch and did not like them (that was before they made fancy fitted cloth diapers of today).

I was (still am) a working mom and look for ways to save time.

For stain lifting. . . . I find that Borax works quite well (added to the water either before (to soak) or during the wash cycle).


post #9 of 40
I'm a new mum to a beautiful daughter. The only tips I have are...

Buy a good book on how to get babies to sleep, because if you're a first time mum like I am, once you get the baby home, you don't have a clue how to get it to sleep. Wish I'd bought some books & read them prior to the birth. LOL. Learn how to swaddle your baby. Buy some muslin wraps.

I co-sleep with my daughter, so night times aren't too bad, I just roll over & feed her.

If you plan to breast feed, learn as much as you can before you have your child. Many people I know didn't manage to breast feed for simple reasons such as poor attachment. I spoke to as many people as I could, and asked them lots of questions. Make sure you know what a good attachment looks like. Ask the midwives at the hospital to check for proper attachment. I found breast feeding for the first 3 days painful, but manageable, after that it was smooth sailing. Enjoy breast feeding, it is special time that you & your baby have together. If you don't breast feed, don't let other people give you a hard time about using formula.

Childbirth isn't anywhere near as bad as I'd been lead to believe. Cherish every second you can of your labour. It is a wonderful experience. Well, it was for me. Ok, it IS painful, but I found it to be manageable, to me it was like painful period pain. Mind you, I did order an epidural as soon as I got to hospital, I didn't need it, but didn't want to wait until I was in agony & it sometimes takes the anaesthestic guy (can't remember the correct term) a while to get to you. I ordered mine around 4.00pm, he came to me at 6.00pm.

This may be TMI, but it was discussed on a parenting forum. When it comes time to pushing, push like you're doing a poo. That's what I was told to do, I had two midwives & my husband all screaming that at me. LOL. The ladies on another forum said nobody had told them how to push properly.

Cloth nappies make really good baby cleaning rags. I was amazed at how much a baby vomits....my friend put me onto cloth nappies for cleaning up vomit. I never go anywhere without them.

One more tip I forgot about. If you're having problems getting your baby to sleep, try vacuuming the room, not only do you end up with a clean floor, but it sometimes helps settle the baby too I discovered that by accident when I put her in the rocker & did some vacuuming, I checked on her after a couple of minutes & she was fast asleep. I've used it a couple of times since then. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. According to the author of a baby book I'm reading, it is REALLY noisy in the uterus, so the sound of a vacuum cleaner, hairdrier etc., is actually soothing to a baby.


post #10 of 40
okay - this is from a male perspective - but I was there every single appointment for the ante natal that Carol went to. I was fascinated, however, was terrified and the day I first heard my son (had no idea we were having a son) heart beat, I cried for about half an hour.
My wife and i watched the videos, we read the books and then discarded them all. As a mother to be and when it arrives, you maternal part takes over automatically.
I loved the ultra sound part - I had an extra picture done for me to carry round in my wallet, on my desk and still have it in the album.
My biggest advice to you and its open to debate - after all, i did not experience the actual pushing bit although was there - is to enjoy it. Sounds easy when you are trying to get something the size of a bowling ball out - but every bit of pain, discomfort and feelings that you are gonna kill your other half all suddenly vanish the moment your little bundle arrives into the world.
I would recommend water - get a room with a shower. carol spent ages in the shower, me stood there outside whilst she just stood and wanted it hotter on her back. She always said it was not pain, it was very uncomfortable, however, when the copper topped head popped out - it was all forgotten.
As far as the future is concerned, well carol chose to bottle feed from day one. It was great in some ways and being selfish, it gave me time on an evening to lay with our son on the suite and give him his night time bottle. It gave, as my wife said, time for him and I to make eye contact - bond if you will - and she always knew exactly just how much food he was taking in, whilst breast feeding - with respect ladies is wonderful, you just know how much milk the little one is getting. Its swings and roundabouts, however, those cold evenings in the winter when I got home, had dinner, I used to bath Chris and then get him dressed for bed. Then I got his bottle and fed him and 99% of the time we talked and he drifted off. I used to sing to him adelvice from the sound of music.
In the delivery suite - do what you feel best for you and although its hard work and you will be tired - its all worth it.
My top tips for the future = chris is 4 in september - every night without fail - 6.30 - 7.00 bath - relax with the little one, warm water helps them wind down. Then bottle / supper and 7.30 - bed. I still have this routine - he sometimes goes at 8.00pm but it has worked from day 1.
Have never encouraged chris into bed with us - he sleeps next door and we hear everything - even now.
Whatever happens and whatever you have, I will never be able to understand how a woman can make such a tiny person and they look so beautiful, you will make a wonderful mum. Go with your instincts - get help when you need it and remember, babies are a wonderful way of making people.
Dont have a C section though unless vital - it affects children in later life. Every time you open the car door, they get out of the sun roof - very true!
Let me knwo how it goes and god bless.
Father to a red headed son, married to a red headed wife and thankful I have the best job in the world - being a parent.
post #11 of 40
Oh Kev, I loved reading your perspective! Thanks!
post #12 of 40
male perspective bit - hope I did not offend any women out there that have had or about to have children. I watched my wife have ups and downs and I just try and make people smile a bit and had no intention to offend anyone. It is incredible to see what the female body can make.
When our son arrived, the midwife asked carol to give one more push - she grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye, grabbed my hand and pushed.
Three days later I got a tiny bit of feeling back in my hand and as she screamed, so did I. The midwife and Carol looked at me with an absolute stinking look when I told them they had no idea how much it had hurt me. They used a similar line on Friends some time ago but she really did hurt me and no one cared as they taped three fingers together to keep them straight and handed Carol our son.
We had two people leave work today to have babies and another who came in with tiny twins - absolutely stunning

post #13 of 40
My bit of advice is to not have an epidural unless you really need it . Theres a certain sense of accomplishment to get through a delivery without the aid of drugs. I was only 18 when I had my first child, and the nurses were perplexed that I wasn't screaming for anything I liked the fact that i was in complete control of what was going on with my body- and no, the pain is definitely NOT unbearable. I spent a lot of time in a warm bath, so I recommend that as well.

The only hard part of delivery for me was the 'transition' stage- the part just before its time to push. Its the most painful. Hubby kept wiping my forehead with a damp cloth and I told him to leave me alone- he didn't listen so I punched him in the leg

I breastfed both of my children- and it was incredible. They got a really good start in life through nursing because there are antibodies in mothers milk. However, i confess it did make my hubby feel a little left out. He spent lots of time bonding with the babies, but I think he was a little put off by the closeness I had with them due to nursing. I got them used to being able to take a bottle of expressed milk as well though, so I could leave them with someone if I needed to go out, and to give hubby a chance to feed them too.

Enjoy that baby when its tiny- they grow so fast!!!
post #14 of 40

You sound like an extremely devoted daddy My husband cried when we had our first ultrasound, by the time it came to having the fourth ultrasound (I had complications, so needed more ultrasounds than most) and I asked him if he was coming to see his reply was "the baby will be coming in a week or so, I can see it then". LOL. Wasn't much to see anyway. He absolutely bawled his eyes out at the actual birth. I didn't shed a tear, not sure why.

The only thing I will disagree with you on is when you say "don't read the books, your maternal instinct will kick in" (or words to those effects). I can't speak for other mothers, but I seriously didn't have any maternal instinct. When the baby cried, I just wondered what the heck was wrong & tried a cuddle. When the baby screamed, I handed her to hubs, interestingly he was better at settling her than I was. I was hopeless at rocking & jiggling her & was clumsy when dressing her. I can't tell you how many times I've cracked her head on the doornobs. I love my daughter with all my heart, and I was surprised just how strong my love of her was when I first laid eyes on the little slimy, bloody baby after the birth, but had little maternal instinct, if that makes sense. Mothers will be offered advice by everyone, what I've done is take what works for me & discard the rest. It does get better, I feel in control now, and pretty much know what I'm doing, but I did have to learn that, it didn't come naturally as I thought it would.

My husband was warned by a co-worker who is a father not to let me grab his hand during a contraction. LOL. I didn't want a bar of anybody when I had a contraction anyway, I just curled up & held my breath...probably not the best thing I could do. I kind of just went into my own little world.

Melissa: I'm a wimp, I hate pain. Couldn't have done it without the epidural. However, next time I will try. Because I was so numb (down there), I couldn't feel my pushing, and this hissed the midwife off no end, she basically accused me of being lazy, which wasn't the case, I was just numb & very very tired, having had a 24 hour labour. I admire women who can do it drug free, they're a lot stronger than I am. I agree with you about breast feeding, I absolutely love doing it. I tried expressing for the first time last night, but didn't get much. But hopefully things will improve, then hubby can help me feed her. He feels a bit left out with all this feeding business.

post #15 of 40
I highly recommend a book called What to Expect When You're Expecting.

As to the epidural, some make it through without, some do not. Everybody has a different tolerance for pain, and you should not let yourself feel like a failure if you need the help.
post #16 of 40
Thread Starter 
I second that, I feel also if you opt for the epidural, don't feel you are a wimp or that it's 'unnatural', either way the baby is coming out.

I couldn't tolerate my contractions which were going on for a week and became worse overnight, that night I could not sleep, I wanted to beat the crap out of my husband. I went in the next morning and dilated, finally to 4 1/2 cm, I was already late. After a few hours, they had to break my water because it wouldn't break on its own even though she could feel his head right there. I told her to get me that freaking anestheisologist because I knew after the water breaks that I would be in a lot more pain than I already was. So we got the epidural, the anesthesiologist comes in and asks me how much, you can get different levels, I told him to knock the heck out of me but that I would at least be awake. He laughed and sure enough as soon as it hit, I was soooo freaking happy, in la-la land and way ready to have the rest of the 11 kids that I planned But after being in labor for an additional 8 hours, my son wouldn't descend and his heart-rate kept dropping so low after each contraction, so they opted for the c-section and found that his head was too big!!! LOL! My husband and his whole family have big heads, but then so is mine!!! I worried about that right before I delivered that I thought his head wouldn't fit through!!! Anyway, it was a bit messy with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck which I feared but is quite normal. His head was the main thing. I remember my bestfriend was with me watching the whole thing, she and everyone in the room were so surprised 'Damn that's a big baby!' they said and I asked her how big and they measured him 9lbs 10 oz!!!! No one believed I had carried him because I looked so small since my frame is a bit unusual, everyone thought he would be a 6lber or 7lbs. Then the doctor laughed and said that he was trying to knock at the door but just couldn't get his head through it!!! Its a wonder and a joy and such extreme emotions run through you even afterwards, months afterwards still, you're in total awe and amazement and then frustruated and confused and new with it all. It's even harder when you don't have contact with parents like I do so I have to do this on my own and sometimes I want to scream at the top of lungs, thinking I don't want to have 11 kids but then those moments disappear when my son smiles at me. If I could only live inside his smiles. Anyway....kev I really liked your perspective on it, I just wish I could get a budge or something from my hubby, he was a bit 'not there', kinda out of it emotionally, he said he seemed as if he was in a dream just daywalking.

Here's a pic after he was born
post #17 of 40
Jellybelly, how old is your son now? I know exactly how you feel. I absolutely love Holly with all my heart, but there are extreme lows when I can't get her to stop screaming & both hubby & I are just at the end of our tethers. We've tried everything we know, and nothing works. Nothing in my life has ever been as frustrating (but rewarding) as being a mother. I don't have any family here, so we are having to just wing it. Thank goodness for the internet, I've asked for help online a few times, it's nice to know there are places you can go, and even if they can't give you advice, they can tell you they've been there & done that.

My theory on drugs during labour is that you take drugs for other stuff, like having a tooth out, so why be a hero when you're in labour? I was in labour for 24 hours, and there is absolutely no way I could have done it without the epidural. However, I do feel like I'm a wimp for taking drugs because there is so much pressure on women to "go natural". I felt like I'd failed my womanly duties somehow. But, I can't imagine how it would have been without the epidural. That said, I look back on that day/night with awe, even with the pain (the epidural didn't completely block my contractions), it was just such a special day & I'd re-live it again in a flash.

post #18 of 40
What beautiful pics of your babies Jellybelly and Misha!
post #19 of 40
Cute Babies!!!!!!
post #20 of 40
The best piece of baby equipment is a wind-up swing. I had them for my kids and Mark & Sam have them for the twins. It is guaranteed to net you a couple of hours of peace and quiet.

When the weather is hot - strip 'em down. Unless we were going out, my kids wore nothing but a diaper and , once they were potty-trained, I let them run around the house buck naked.

A warm bath, just before bedtime, seems to help them sleep longer.
post #21 of 40
Thread Starter 
Misha, Holly is a cutie!!!! How old is she now? My son is 10 months old which I can't believe how time flies by. I agree also, it is a lot of highs and lows, more lows I think for me, sometimes I dream of packing my bags and taking my son and cat and leaving. I think the lows are when my husband is just sitting there not doing anything, after being with a 'baby' all day it can be a bit lonely but I guess its a male thing, I don't understand sometimes. When my hubby is gone, I feel better actually, like I can focus better on my son and tend to his needs and mine. But as a wife, it's harder to keep up both ends, mother and wife. And I do try discussing, he gets frustruated, so then it makes me want leave even more. Anyway, that's another long discussion. The books help, people help, sometimes too much to the point that its annoying, but you learn to listen and see if that is what you want or not. In the end it's rewarding, it would help if my hubby could participate more but I guess in his culture it is that way with the woman doing everything.
post #22 of 40
Thanks Jellybelly I meant to say your boy is gorgeous in my last post. Was he born with a full head of hair like that? Holly's still a baldy, wish she'd grow some hair. She looks like a friar, she has very thin hair on the top, with slightly longer hair at the back. LOL. I know exactly what you mean. My hubby helps out a bit (changes nappies & cooks the odd meal), but to be honest I find him more of a hindrance than a help. When he's not home, the house is tidy & Holly seems to sleep well, that all goes out the window as soon as he gets home.

There have been a few occasions where Holly's feeding & I'm unable to get up & make some food & hubby ignores my hints that "I'm hungry". Once I was pinned to the bed feeding her, while he was out in the lounge room enjoying a 2 course meal. By the time she'd finished eating, it was time for us to all go out, and I missed out. Geez, I was really hissed off at him that day. He just left me there pinned to the bed while he enjoyed a long & luxurious breakfast. Grrrrrrrrrr.

I'm lucky that I'm back at work 2 days a week. I have been taking Holly in, but it's too unsettling for her, so a friend is minding her one day, and hubby the other day. I had my first baby free day at work last Friday, and it was lovely. I adore my girl, but I really enjoyed that time at work, among grown ups & not having to worry about Holly.

Holly's 10 weeks old.
post #23 of 40
Dont have a C section though unless vital - it affects children in later life. Every time you open the car door, they get out of the sun roof - very true!
Kev - that cracked me up!!!!!!!

My baby is due 17th August (less than a week away - YIKES). 2 girls from my Childbirth Classes have already had theirs - one was 10lbs 12oz (OMG, OUCH).

My hospital has a birthing pool which I would love to use. Being a piscean, I adore water, and can't think of any beter pain relief than sitting in a pool of lukewarm water. I don't really want to be doped up to the eyeballs, and the pain doesn't really scare me. I've had a couple of things happen, medically that tested my pain thresholds to the limit, so I think (hope) I'll be OK on that front. It's just the not quite knowing what to expect that is giving me the heebygeebies. I've read books and watched videos, and on one video a woman was giving birth, and instead of screaming or moaning, she was just repeating "Come on baby, out you come, you know you want to come out don't you" I thought that was brilliant.

Jellybelly and Misha - your babies are beautiful!!! We will be taking both digital and SLR cameras with us - digital for those immediate moments after birth, and SLR with b/w film for the more artistic shots which I hope will follow.

Tasha - good luck!!!! I thought your due date was much later than end Sept. Hope you're feeling better now after your crap week the other week . . .
post #24 of 40
Wow Yola - just one week to go!!! How exciting!!

Thanks for sharing the birth stories everyone and those cute baby pictures!!!

I gave birth to Ron in a planned C-section. That was 18 months ago. I wanted to go natural so much - we had taken the right classes and all. I was disappointed when my doctor recommended a C-section because Ron was in breech position. Some people tried to talk me into trying to go natural with a breech position but my doctor advised against it. Thank God I took his advice! Turned out Ron was in breech because he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck three times. Had we gone for a natural birth, it could have been a disaster as his cord would have been squeezed in the birth canal while his head was still inside. When they took him out they also found out I had a very rare complication (one in 70,000 births) which is called placenta accreta. This means that the placenta grows into the wall of the uterus and sticks there when the birth ends. Those are the kind of births you read about in the paper when the woman suffers such a major blood loss that she dies. The only way to save the woman's life is to perform an emergency hysterctomy. In short, had we gone natural, both me and baby would have been either dead or severely damaged.

Still, my doctor says this time around, unless we get a breech position again he recommends a natural birth. I do prefer to go natural - healing from the C-section is much more difficult. But what I learned from my experience is to take what comes along - either way the baby comes out in the end
post #25 of 40
Thread Starter 
Glad to know everything turned out for the best Anne!!! Send us pics if you can

Yola!! You're not too far away!!!! How are you doing thus far? I've heard some ups and downs with delivering in the water, I definitely give thumbs up to women who want to try something different than the traditional method.
post #26 of 40
The water birth (or at least labour in water), is hugely gaining in popularity in the UK. I've not really heard anything negative about it, except that if there are any difficulties you are asked to get out of the pool.

It is supposed to be a less traumatic entrance into the world for the baby, as the transition from amniotic fluid, to pool water, to being lifted out (only at which point does the baby start breathing) is quite healing after having being squeezed through the birth canal.

We'll just see how it goes - as I have fibroids I will be monitored extra carefully, and I too am at risk of heamorrhage (sp) when delivering the placenta (Wow Anne, that must've been a real scary wake-up call finding out that all those things could've happened if you'd not listened to the doctor)!!!

Hope you can have the natural birth you want this time round!
post #27 of 40
I think I'm only now beginning to feel the real change motherhood has made in/to me. I think I'm a softer person for it now - especially when it comes to children. I never was the kind of person that likes babies and children, but now whenever I see one it makes me smile I think I'm also kinder to people in general and I'm more sensitive to human suffering - I always think that that person, no matter how horrible, was once someone's precious baby. I know that some children are abused rather than loved and it breaks my heart. I am so in love with my boy and it breaks my heart to think that some children are not as loved as he is.

I think I'm going to bond with the new baby so much faster - I think I'm already bonding with him I never thought I'd be one of those mushy moms who go overboard over their babies but I certainly have turned into one
post #28 of 40
Anne: When are you due?

I agree with what you say about motherhood changing you. When Holly was born, I developed a newfound respect for life. I've always respected life, but once I became a mum I respected it more because everybody was once somebody's baby.

Today I was in a shopping mall & a toddler was kind of in my path. Pre Holly, I'd have been mildly irritated & walked around him, but instead I looked into his face & he gave me the BIGGEST grin, to which I grinned back. And it was genuine this time instead of put on. It was just so heartwarming to see this little boy & his huge smile. I just love it when Holly smiles, I melt. I think I have become a softer person too.

That said, I also think I've become tougher. While pregnancy & childbirth aren't the worst thing on earth, they're not easy either. I was really amazed at just what my body could do. Holly is having some difficulty sleeping at the moment, and we have hours of her screaming her head off. It is very hard, but I seem more able to take it than my husband. I seem to be able to take one day at a time. I know she's not going to be a baby forever, and am trying to really cherish every moment of her babyhood, even the bad times. I've also discovered that it IS possible to function on just 3 hours sleep. LOL.

post #29 of 40
Thread Starter 
YOLA!!!! Where are you?!!! Hope everything turned out well for you!!!! Send us some pics!!!

Anne, when are you due??? No pics??? Send us some pics!

Crazycat!!! How are you doing? Not too far now

Misha, my son in the pic, it was taken right after he was cleaned up, he had a lot of hair (which I hope he continues to have, my hubby's father side are baldies and his brother only 21 is balding )

Send more baby pics if you have any
post #30 of 40
Oh Yola! Have you had your baby? We wont lots of details and pics!

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