Disgusted, Shocked, Shaking...

I just don't know what to say. I can't understand the mentality of someone who would do something like this. I am so sorry for what she did to Molly and to you. I am firm believer that what goes around, comes around.

I'm so sorry for you - and here's my first thought. You need to contact the police wherever this person lives and tell them that she's a confessed animal abuser. Most police now recognize the relation between those who abuse animals and those who abuse others, including children. There's every possibility this person has done/will do terrible things to other people and animals.

It would be wonderful if somehow she's turned her life around - but I think the risk to others is too high to not notify the authorities.

My prayers are with you - and if you have access to a therapist, I'd really take advantage of it...anyone would need help in healing from a blow like this.

Originally Posted by herekittykitty8

Thank you so much everyone for your support. It means so much to me.

Something that makes this situation even worse, is that she wasn't into drinking & drugs when we were living together. She did this sober. Or at least, the drinking and drug use would have been moderate - and not yet in an all out addictive phase. There must have been something very dark lurking inside of her. Maybe that's why she turned to drugs/alcohol.

I cannot forgive this woman, and I am happy she seems to have had a horrible life after the pain she inflicted on an innocent animal. I hate that she's put me in such a dark place to say something like that.

I haven't decided yet if I want to respond and tell her how much I hate her, am glad she is suffering with her guilt and will never forgive her. Or, if I want to just ignore her - which may be just as bad for her considering she is seeking some type of reaction.

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I would email her back and mention these issues. Tell her you don't forgive her, and that you remember she wasn't using heavily during your time as roommates, so she can't use that as a crutch or excuse for what she did. These people expect everyone to instantly forgive them because they are "being strong" and "finally getting their lives back on track." BACK on track, so why should she be coddled for finally meeting the most basic standards others live with their entire lives?

You need to get some things off your chest as much as she did by telling you about what she did to your cat. I'm not saying yell at her or anything, just explain to her as matter-of-factly as possible how you will never forgive her, and give the reasons why. Explain that torturing (not even harming, this goes way beyond. If Molly was a human, that long, drawn out abuse would be classified psychological torture) animals is never forgivable, under any circumstances, and that she is being incredibly selfish wanting to get it off her chest, or asking forgiveness. If she were really sorry for it, she wouldn't go out of her way to create these new wounds for you just so she can feel better about herself.

Originally Posted by libby74

Do you believe this psycho actually did these things to Molly and is 'confessing' now, or is she a nut-job trying to get back at you for some reason?

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That thought crossed my mind, too, and either way, she's a sadistic and deserves neither a reply nor forgiveness.

I would want nothing to do with this person. To protect yourself I would set up the boundary of no contact ever again. You thought you knew her but you did not, what else could she be capable of now or in the past? I am shocked as well. And outraged, I can't imagine anyone doing anything like that to my animals or anyone else's. While I am glad she is getting the help she needs this chilled me to the bone. I am so sorry

This makes me cry. I am so sorry for what you must be going through. I don't know what the statute of limitations is, but perhaps she can still be proscuted.

RIP sweet Molly.

My heart broke for Molly and you when I read this.

I would never forgive someone who did this, and that is what it sounds like she is looking for. Honestly, I would probably say my few choice words to her about what kind of person I think she is for treating an animal so special to me like that, and block her from ever contacting me again. (Only because what I'd really like to do would land me in prison and someone like that is not worth it). BUT at the same time, not replying to her might bother her even more.

I agree with those who suggest seeking prosecution - she has admitted to animal cruelty. It cant hurt to look into it.

I'm so so sorry she sent you this cruel upsetting email.

I can only imagine how you are feeling. This is so sick. The more I think about this horrible thing I think I would speak with someone about animal cruelty. I would not speak to the offender. Not via email, in person, over the phone, or in any way. But I would seek legal recourse if someone made one of my animals suffer so much and may have brought about their death (if you kitty was always starving that could have caused a lot of trouble with her internal organs and also the stress causes health issues).

It is disgusting, it is shocking, and I am shaking. I am also weeping for you and for Molly. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine receiving news like this.

It's eating away at her? GOOD. It should be!

I would try not to respond, though it would be damn hard not to give her a piece of my mind. Her problem wasn't ever drink or drugs (though those compound the problem), she's a very sick person. If she has kids, I would want to inform her husband, and I do think contacting the police where she lives to inform them that she's confessed to cruelty to animals is something that may help you through this - and is something that should be done.

I do hate to say it, but in most states, that type of cruelty is a misdemeanor, not a felony. But it sure wouldn't hurt to look into it to see if there's a statute of limitations, whatever the class, to see if you can press charges.

Right now, I'm worried about YOU. I know that actively trying to DO something would be a start to making me feel better if I'd just gotten a note like that. But honestly, I can't begin to imagine, and my heart just HURTS so much for you and Molly!

But truly - something like this just leaves you speechless. And disgusted, shocked, and shaking.

I would never, ever forgive her.

RIP sweet Molly

I'm as horrified as everyone else. But not shocked. This kind of thing goes on. It's one reason I'll never let my cats outside. There are sickos among us. Everywhere.

I think not responding will just make her think she didn't reach you. Or that you were so devastated you couldn't respond. I wouldn't give her that satisfaction. This woman is a sadist. She enjoys making others suffer. It is evil and it is sick, sick, sick, but not forgivable (only by God) I say.

I would respond very, very briefly and without emotion in an e-mail. I'd say something like that I could never forgive such cruel sadistic behavior done to my innocent sweet cat who I loved. I'd tell her that she doesn't deserve forgiveness. I'd say that she may never contact me again, and tell her that if she does, I will turn over a transcript of her e-mail to the police and animal protection authorities in the jurisdiction where this happened. You have a written confession of animal cruelty. Around here, in Illinois, people are going to jail for such things. Thank, God! (Though the situations are recent and often worse.)

After the short, calm, but powerful e-mail from me, I'd let it go, unless she has children. Then I would consider it imperative to contact the police where she lives, or the Department of Children and Family Services, or whoever is the authority in charge of child welfare where she is. Because someone who does this to animals will do this to children.

I'm so very sorry this happened to you and your poor Molly. It's just heartbreaking.

Robin

What a repulsive disgusting person she is. Someone should do to her, what she's done to your cat. Or what she's probably done to other cats, and animals. What a pig.

This is why I don't trust anyone around my pets, even when I only had fish. Anyone who comes through the door, is very closely watched.

Hopefully she doesn't have any children, she'd be like those mothers that poison their kids so they can get attention.

Speaking of getting attention. Is it possible she's just looking for attention? and she just said those things to get a response from you? and doing similar to other people she knew, to get attention from them as well?

I'm appalled - my heart just sank to read of this nightmare. I'm crying and wish I had never read about what your baby had to endure.

First: You can not blame yourself - who could ever consider this evil could be done by a "friend".

Second: Did she ask for forgiveness? If so, this "confession" just happened and you're trying to believe you're reading what you're reading. It's too soon to even think about forgiving her even IF she asked for it.

For yourself, though - for your health, you'll need to -eventually- reach deep and forgive her, it may take a few years, or a lifetime - and, I suggest counseling to help you cope.

Third: Could it be possible this is just a story and she's trying to find another way to hurt you?

This animal cruelty is just evil - and we all know that IF she did this, these evil actions go from animals to humans.

Shoot, I think I need counseling after reading what she is confessing to.
You don't need to answer her now, I'd wait a few years or more.

There are no words.

OMG! Poor kitty!!!!

I know one of the 12 steps in the 12 step program to getting and staying clean is to confess and to take ownership of your wrong doings. She's doing that. Which is good.

However, that doesn't mean you need to forgive her. Just thank her for telling you but you are horrified that she would do that to a defenseless animal, and that you will never ever forgive her for what she did to your kitty, and tell her to never contact you again or you will take what she said to the police and charge her with animal abuse. In fact I would be inclined to do just that anyway! What she did is despicable!

Whether she did this due to drugs/alcohol, wouldn't make any difference to me. She abused a poor helpless animal, and people like that have no place in my life, nor should they have a place in yours or anyone else's.

For those of you who suggested a counselor - we were thinking on the same page. A friend of mine is a therapist and I've gone to her a few times over my life for help when things got rough - and it helped to talk and get it out. Just as it did to tell everyone here. I appreciate everyone's outpouring of kind wishes for Molly & I.

I decided I will not give this woman another minute of my time. I gave her years of friendship that I now know was undeserved. I gave her a few days of tears after her confession.
I emailed her back and told her not only would I never forgive her for her despicable acts, but she should never forgive herself. I told her I regret every single day I wasted my friendship and love on her. There were a few other choice phrases in there as well. But asked her to never contact me again.

I just want to forget about all of this. I want to go on, I guess in a weird way pretending I never even knew Molly went through any of this, and tell myself she had a happy life. Its selfish of me, I know - but that is how I will attempt to cope. Just going on as though this hasn't happened. The past few years of my life has been going so well. I'm in a really great place and I refuse to allow this devil to take that away from me. The more time I spend dwelling on it - the harder it will be to cope. It's been so long now since Molly's passing, and unfortunately, there isn't anything I can do now for Molly except keep her memory alive and I don't think she would want to be remembered in this light.

If you want a moderator to lock the thread, just ask them to do so.

Sounds like you did the best thing already as far as responding to her.

I know that some people believe that one has to forgive others who have done us wrong or somehow we are always burdened by this unforgiving of ours. Some people here have posted this. This is a philosophical or religious view that I have never understood and I don't agree with. Actually, I think it is wrong, even immoral, to forgive things that are so terrible. Let God and The Saints do it, or punish it, as they see fit. This is something that cannot be fixed, no matter what the person says or feels now.

A good therapist is a great answer for you to help you with your grief over this. You didn't do anything wrong. I thoroughly believe that cats are spiritual creatures that see and understand far more than we can realize. I believe that they don't ever really leave us when they "pass." And I'm talking about here and now, not at "The Bridge". I believe love is eternal and transcends life. I believe Molly knows, even now, that you didn't know what was happening, and that you weren't responsible. She does not blame you. You loved her, and she knows that, even now.

It may help you to have "a conversation" with Molly, now.

RIP little Molly, beloved kitty.

Peace for you, too, Molly's person.


Robin

I just want to thank everyone once again for your support. All of your kind words has really helped, which is why posting here was one of the first things I did when I first found out. Though I don't post much, I do visit daily and get great enjoyment, and knowledge from this wonderful forum.

That being said - I would love for a moderator to lock this thread.
I don't think myself, or anyone else for that matter needs to keep having this dreadful story pop up as a recent thread. Let's focus on the fun stories, new additions to our fur families & beautiful pictures.

Thanks again.

Originally Posted by herekittykitty8

I emailed her back and told her not only would I never forgive her for her despicable acts, but she should never forgive herself. I told her I regret every single day I wasted my friendship and love on her. There were a few other choice phrases in there as well. But asked her to never contact me again.

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I'm pleased you had the final word. If you haven't done it already i would block her e-mail address so she can't contact you again.

As requested, i'll lock this thread now