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please help!

post #1 of 18
1/1/11 at 4:45pm
Thread Starter 
We just got a 5month old bengal kitten. The breeder told us that he was shy and ran away when visitors came, but he allowed us to hold him, he was just scared. He has never been aggressive, just shy. We brought him home and have him confined in a bathroom. He is playful, but only when we are not around. He sleeps a good portion of the day. He will come out and eat with one of us in the room, but is on edge, and if we move he shies back into his crate. He seems to enjoy being pet, as long as we don't try to hold him. He is eating, peeing, and pooping normally.
We want to open up the adjoining bedroom to him to give him some more space. Should we wait until he is coming out to greet us in the bathroom and being more social? Any ideas on making this happen?
Thanks!
Katie
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post #2 of 18
1/1/11 at 4:55pm
I think opening the door is a good idea. It gives him the option of extending his zone, but if he doesn't want to he can always just not go into the bedroom. The worst thing that could happen is he might avoid the area around the door until he gets comfortable about the aidea of open space on the other side.
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post #3 of 18
1/1/11 at 5:11pm
Just a suggestion - can you sit in the space, or near the space, and just read aloud to yourself, or knit and hum, or whatever you like (I read Harry Potter out loud to my new cats). That way, you're not looking at them, and they can check you out at their own speed. I did keep some treats handy to toss in their general direction.

FWIW, my girl has never ever been a lap cat - some cats just aren't. Petting yes, sits near me, ok, but no holding!
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post #4 of 18
1/1/11 at 5:16pm
Thread Starter 
Yes, We have been spending time just hanging out in the room and talking to him but not looking at him. Is it normal for him to not be super playful and be doing a lot of sleeping?
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post #5 of 18
1/1/11 at 5:28pm
Kittens sleep even more than adult cats, and adults are known to sleep anywhere from 16 - 20 hours a day usually.
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post #6 of 18
1/1/11 at 5:30pm
Thread Starter 
That's true. I think we are just excited to have him and wanting him to come out and greet us and he hasn't yet. I hope he warms up!
We are just afraid to open the door to him and give him more places to hide from us. Do you think we should wait until he is more social and wanting to be around us before we open the door?
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post #7 of 18
1/1/11 at 5:35pm
Try first opening the door only when you're in the bedroom, and if he comes wandering in it's more likely to be an act of confidence since he knows you're there. Leaving the door open all the time is when he might sneak in and find a better hiding spot while you're not around. As he gets more comfortable, you can leave him alone with the door open.
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post #8 of 18
1/1/11 at 5:47pm
Thread Starter 
thank you we are trying it right now! He is at the door checking us out!
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post #9 of 18
1/1/11 at 5:51pm
Thread Starter 
he came into the room right away. scared but crouching around checking everything out planning his escape!
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post #10 of 18
1/1/11 at 5:58pm
How long have you had him? I've had Walter and Thomas for a little over a week. Thomas bolted from "their" room (the bathroom) the first day and didn't want to have anything to do with it from then on. Walter on the other hand was the polar opposite. We put the crate they were brought to me in in the bathroom, and he didn't come out of it in our presence for almost two days. He just stayed bunched up in the back of it. Then, he would come out of the crate but not the bathroom. We just kept the bathroom door open so he could come out if he chose to. The bathroom is in eyesight of my computer desk, so I talked to him all the time trying to encourage him to come out. He got to the point of where he would step JUST out of the bathroom but wouldn't come any further and if anything spooked him (which was just about everything) he would run back in. Then one day he just decided he didn't need the bathroom anymore and came out out of nowhere and hasn't gone back. That took almost a week, but now he's not shy at all.
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post #11 of 18
1/1/11 at 6:00pm
When I got my girl (adopted as an adult - picked up by Animal Care as a stray, but obviously had a home as she was spayed and front declawed), when we got home she immediately went from room to room (I didn't know enough to keep her in one room), checking everything out. I have to admit I was so tired and nervous (stayed up all the night before worried that as a new meowmy I would have no clue what to do), that I eventually just took a nap - and woke up with her on the bed staring at me. I found that letting her come to me actually worked best. She was extremely deliberate in checking out all the rooms and windows and doors - friends who helped bring her home, and were experienced cat parents, were laughing so hard at my logical little explorer.

Just think - your little guy is an entire new universe, all by himself, and is probably just checking things out slowly but surely, always leaving himself a way out (smart little guy). But, I think he'll figure out quickly where all the good food and loving voices come from...just give him a little more time to get used to these great big new people. I can never imagine what cats think of people - we're so much bigger; what bravery it must take to pop up on a lap!
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post #12 of 18
1/2/11 at 1:40pm
Thread Starter 
thank you for all the help. it is only day 3 and he is already much more comfortable around us. He still isn't coming to us or letting us pet him, but he is definitely building confidence!
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post #13 of 18
1/3/11 at 2:23pm
Hi kh230805,

First of all what generation Bengal is he? Some higher generation (F1-F4) Bengals tend to be shyer then the average domestic cat.

But it does depend how much socialization the breeder gave him when he was a young kitten. How old was he when you acquired him from the breeder?

Your last post says you where making progress which is good. I would recommend you keep him in the bathroom until he is "actively greeting you". What I mean by that is rubbing on your legs and stuff like that.

Lastly if you want to post picture's of him that would be great .
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post #14 of 18
1/4/11 at 6:50am
I'm introducing a new cat to my household as well. She's about 2-3 years old and is a bit shy still but very affectionate. She doesn't greet me at the door yet like the older one or come when I call but it's only been a week and it takes time to build that kind of bond with a cat. We must remember that they are very independent...that's why we love them so they need time to come around which they eventually do.
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post #15 of 18
1/15/11 at 7:13pm
Thread Starter 
we got the cat just a couple of weeks ago so he was about 4 months old. He is doing really well, he just isn't ready to be picked up and doesn't let us pet him/ isn't affectionate unless we have a treat or toy in hand.
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post #16 of 18
1/15/11 at 7:19pm
Thread Starter 


This was when we first got him. He's already gained a little weight and is growing fast!
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post #17 of 18
1/15/11 at 9:34pm
Oh, he is so handsome Wonderful pic!! Just read your thread and hope he comes around to being a super affectionate boy
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post #18 of 18
1/16/11 at 7:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by kh230805 View Post
we got the cat just a couple of weeks ago so he was about 4 months old. He is doing really well, he just isn't ready to be picked up and doesn't let us pet him/ isn't affectionate unless we have a treat or toy in hand.
That is part of being a Bengal cat. They are not know for being a breed that enjoys being held. As a result of him having some wild blood in him. Meaning he has some Asian Leopard cat in him. But I am guessing he is an F5 or lower. So it is about 3% or so ALC.

No kitten is "all that affectionate", aka they want to play more then be pet . So just play with him and pet him while playing with him. As he gets older he will enjoy being pet as long as you continue to do so.


Glad he is improving and he is a very handsome cat.
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