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She actually called!

post #1 of 29
12/23/10 at 8:36am
Thread Starter 
My Mom just actually called and invited me to Christmas dinner tomorrow evening. I'm in shock, shaking, crying...and just...relieved.

For those of you who have not been keeping up on my previous threads regarding this, my Mom and I had a huge falling out a couple months back and haven't talked since. Last week my Grandfather emailed me and asked me to go to Mom's house for Christmas dinner. I told him that if Mom actually wanted me there, she could pick up the phone and ask me herself.

Now all that being said, you could tell that she was NOT happy to be calling, and her tone was incredibly nasty. Most people probably would have told her where to go and how to get there, but you have to understand that this is a HUGE step for my Mom. She is so stubborn and never backs down, so for her to call, that's something. It's not an apology, it's not an admission of guilt, but it's something.

So we're going to go. I don't know how it will turn out and I don't know if it will lead to anything, but because she asked me to be there, however relunctantly, I will go.
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post #2 of 29
12/23/10 at 8:43am
awww kailie that is a great step foward for your mam, my mam and me are exactly the same I have followed your topics on it i just dont think ive replied before

i do hope you all have a good time, im so happy for you, it means you get to see your brother to doesnt it
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post #3 of 29
12/23/10 at 8:52am
Oh Kailie, that is a hugh step for your Mom. I am so happy she called. It may not have been the apology you wanted. She phoned I would go and put my happy face on. It may not be all sunshine and roses but it is a start in the right direction. for a peaceful Christmas
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post #4 of 29
12/23/10 at 9:04am
I'm so glad she called!! I have a very bad relationship with my mother also, if it weren't for birthdays and holidays we would never speak to one another. I SO understand what you are going through, my mom would probably be the same way.

Here's some vibes that you have a smooth and happy Christmas!!
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post #5 of 29
12/23/10 at 9:29am
Oh, I am really glad too! Baby steps...
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post #6 of 29
12/23/10 at 9:38am
Aw...that's good to hear. I hope things aren't too rocky when you go visit.
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post #7 of 29
12/23/10 at 9:55am
Wow...that is huge!
I hope everything goes well and that you guys have a good isit and a great holiday.
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post #8 of 29
12/23/10 at 10:18am
I am very happy that she called- that's the first step in a good direction! Sending lots of vibes for calm tempers and lots of cheer when you celebrate Christmas!
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post #9 of 29
12/23/10 at 11:47am
It is a step! I'm glad you will be able to go and that she asked you to, even if it wasn't by her own choosing.

I know how you feel sort of. My fiance's mom is worthless and I absolutely hate her. She's a terrible mother, to even call her a mother is blasphemy. I absolutely refuse to miss major holidays with my family to be around her. Family drama is so fun....
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post #10 of 29
12/23/10 at 11:52am
I hope tomorrow goes smoothly for all of you!
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post #11 of 29
12/23/10 at 11:54am
That is a good first step. Now, I only hope we don't see another post after the holidays (I mean I hope there are no problems worth posting about, not saying I hope you don't post)
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post #12 of 29
12/23/10 at 11:56am
That's promising news Kailie. I hope you all have a really good time tomorrow and that this will start a better relationship for the new year. Fingers crossed.
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post #13 of 29
12/23/10 at 12:06pm
I'm happy she called. I hope you all have a nice Christmas.
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post #14 of 29
12/23/10 at 12:57pm
I'm So glad she came to her senses. I do really hope you and Dana have a good time. She better treat you right OR she'll have all of US to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!
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post #15 of 29
12/23/10 at 1:01pm
Oh Kailie, I'm SO glad she called you and you will get to see your family for Christmas. If she is that stubborn then this was a huge step for her. This is probably going to be the only apology that you get so take it as that and I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas together!
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post #16 of 29
12/23/10 at 1:03pm
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much all... I have been so emotional all day. I'm not sure how tomorrow will go but I WILL get to see my brother, who I miss terribly, and I'll at least get a free meal out of the deal.
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post #17 of 29
12/23/10 at 1:07pm
that all goes well now that she's jumped over her shadow!
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post #18 of 29
12/23/10 at 1:12pm
Kailie, I'm thrilled! I'm so hoping that this is a new beginning for you with your mom. Good luck and have a wonderful dinner! I'll be thinking of you.
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post #19 of 29
12/23/10 at 1:35pm
Kailie - I don't know whether to smile or cry! I KNOW it's a huge step for her. I'm sorry it came "wrapped" in nasty though. But at least you'll get to see your brother. I really do hope it's the start of a healthier relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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post #20 of 29
12/23/10 at 3:11pm
Go with an open mind and an open heart!

Some people just have a difficult time reaching out, sounds like your Mom might be one of those.
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post #21 of 29
12/23/10 at 3:48pm
I'm glad your mom called you I know how it is to have a stubborn mom too, and can relate to a lot of the crap you go through. Hope your visit is enjoyable and without stress!

If it weren't for holidays, my mom and I probably would never talk either...Already for Xmas she got snippy and nasty about our plans, then turned it around and said she wanted to whatever we wanted to do and wants everyone happy, and back and forth and back and forth.
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post #22 of 29
12/27/10 at 12:27pm
How did the visit go? Did you make home in one piece (without falling apart first)? I hope at least the time with your brother was good.
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post #23 of 29
12/27/10 at 1:49pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldyCat View Post
How did the visit go? Did you make home in one piece (without falling apart first)? I hope at least the time with your brother was good.
It actually went really well hun. We were civil and my brother cuddled with me the whole time on the couch.
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post #24 of 29
12/27/10 at 2:17pm
I am so glad it went well hun
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post #25 of 29
12/27/10 at 2:29pm
Oh hun, I am so glad that you had a nice day, you really deserve it, I hope that your mum continues this and you have a new year and a new start.xx
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post #26 of 29
12/27/10 at 2:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by -_aj_- View Post
I am so glad it went well hun

how do you think things will go from here Kailie?
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post #27 of 29
12/28/10 at 4:15am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats View Post
how do you think things will go from here Kailie?
I'm not sure truthfully. We've talked on the phone a couple of times since then and she seems to be acting like nothing ever happened. That's all fine, BUT my fear is that nothing will really change and it's just a matter of time before the whole thing happens again. One day at a time I guess.
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post #28 of 29
12/28/10 at 5:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailie View Post
I'm not sure truthfully. We've talked on the phone a couple of times since then and she seems to be acting like nothing ever happened. That's all fine, BUT my fear is that nothing will really change and it's just a matter of time before the whole thing happens again. One day at a time I guess.
My mother does that, too. She'll say something completely stupid and get everybody in an uproar. But then she'll call and act like nothing ever happpened. It's like we're just supposed to deal with her. It gets very tiring after a while.

I'm so glad that she called you, Kailie, and that you had such a nice day with her. And yes, just one day at a time. That's all you can do.
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post #29 of 29
12/29/10 at 6:16am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailie View Post
One day at a time I guess.
Your going about it the adult way

I'm pleased she made the first move though
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