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agression issues that are not typical....im desperate for advice

post #1 of 6
12/18/10 at 4:18am
Thread Starter 
Hello all.....I am new on this forum. I found a lot of information and a lot of cat lovers that im hoping are willing to offer any and all advice. My story....I have 2 cats (domestic short hairs) my husband and I had them both (adopted from shelter about 9 months apart) in two different homes and in other friends or familys home etc. So the vet we go to is very big on dental care and unfortunately both of our cats had to have numerous dental extractions each. Lulu our girl had 4 teeth pulled and Stinky our boy had 8 teeth pulled including 3 of his fangs. When lulu went and returned from vet....stinky loved her as normal. Now he went and its been nearly three weeks and she's either terrified of him or aggresive growling and hissing at him. He never hisses back. He even tries to give her space and not aggitate her more. So I have tried feniway a natural calming spray a presciption anti anxiety med giving stinky a bath and also went as far as bringing her to the vet and had her sit in the same surgery room (since I was told it was smell) no luck at all. Stinky is sad and nervous he's losing weight and depressed and so are we. What can I do now? And does anyone think it has to do with it being" fangs" he lost and she sees him as weak? Please help me
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post #2 of 6
12/18/10 at 7:31am
First of all, I feel very sad for you. That must be so heart breaking.

What I would do if I was you. First, I would have Stinky checked over by a vet if you haven't. You know, just in case he is harboring any infection or anything that is making him smell truely sick (in addition to just 'alien'). That needs to be fixed if that is the case. (not that both cats should not be checked of course!)

The fact remains of course that even if he is not sick, he is thought of as an alien now. Personally, I would start over as if it was two cats who do not know each other and re-introduce them. That means separate and start the scent intro etc. I would keep the Feliways/Rescue Remedy that you have going and if the depression is bad stick to the anxiety pill too.

You would need to decide which cat to isolate (more). Maybe someone here has a good idea whether it should be the depressed one or the non-accepting one - sometimes it's exactly opposite one thinks is best.

I hope you get a lot of good suggestions. And make sure you reassure both cats. I am sure they both feel bewildered by this.
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post #3 of 6
12/18/10 at 1:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by piikki View Post
First of all, I feel very sad for you. That must be so heart breaking.

What I would do if I was you. First, I would have Stinky checked over by a vet if you haven't. You know, just in case he is harboring any infection or anything that is making him smell truely sick (in addition to just 'alien'). That needs to be fixed if that is the case. (not that both cats should not be checked of course!)

The fact remains of course that even if he is not sick, he is thought of as an alien now. Personally, I would start over as if it was two cats who do not know each other and re-introduce them. That means separate and start the scent intro etc. I would keep the Feliways/Rescue Remedy that you have going and if the depression is bad stick to the anxiety pill too.

You would need to decide which cat to isolate (more). Maybe someone here has a good idea whether it should be the depressed one or the non-accepting one - sometimes it's exactly opposite one thinks is best.

I hope you get a lot of good suggestions. And make sure you reassure both cats. I am sure they both feel bewildered by this.
All good advice! If you bathe them to override the vet smell it works only when you give them both a bath in the same shampoo. That way they smell the same. If one smells different it doesn't really matter if they smell like vet or strange shampoo. The other just recognizes a different smell. We're very good at remembering how much smell affects what dogs do but forget that cat's too have much better noses than we and rely on them more than we do!
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post #4 of 6
12/18/10 at 1:59pm
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for the good advice and care. I am so grateful I found this site with other cat lovers. I bathed him and also did have him get a checkup at vet after all his antibiotics were completed (a couple of days ago) I think I just was anxious for the quick fix and have the dynamic back but...I think I need to start over. Put stinky in a seperate room. Allow lule to roam (since she is thinking he is a new cat in her home) and have a gradual meeting slowly and repeatedly. Its all so exausting. And of course I feel bad like I took him to vet took his teeth and then to a hostile environment. I am determined to fix this tho. Ill keep you updated
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post #5 of 6
12/18/10 at 2:20pm
Just give it time and patience, a little extra attention to them both individually and keep an eye on Stinky. Sometimes cats smell infection on another and reject them as well.
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post #6 of 6
12/18/10 at 2:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by debbielee View Post
Its all so exausting. And of course I feel bad like I took him to vet took his teeth and then to a hostile environment. I am determined to fix this tho. Ill keep you updated
It is exhausting but you did the right thing taking him to the vet and getting his care. No doubt that this is hard on all of you but I've found that the hard things in life are often the things worth doing! Hang in there and let us know how we can help!
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