My mother wants a kitten....

I think you're being very smart about this Is there any chance that a senior kitty might be an option? A kitty that just likes to laze around all day and won't bolt for the door or really get underfoot (or wheel ) might be a better fit. To be blunt, with your mom being 80 years old, a kitten will most likely outlive her and then someone else will have to take on a possibly unwanted cat. There are so many senior kitties in shelters, maybe you could talk to your mom?

I agree maybe a senior kitty!
Make sure you actually give your BIL a call and tell him your fears and why you dont think a kitten is a good option. Make sure to go into the same details you have on the thread to make him understand. Or if you have to tell him if they get her a kitten they will be the one with all of the responsibilities for now and after!

I'll play devils advocate. lol My grandmother doesn't use a walker, but she is very slow and not very with it, if that makes sense, but she has a cat and does okay. She is in her early 80's and lives in an retirement home. My mom is the one that takes the cat to the vet and what not (but my mom doesn't pay for it, my grandmother does), but otherwise the cat is taken care of. My mom visits as often as she can, but I think the cat gives my grandma company and friendship.

When my grandma was in the hospital for a week a while back, I was the one put in charge of feeding her cat and giving it occasional company b/c I live the closest to her. The litter box wasn't in the greatest shape (partly b/c she wasn't using very good litter, but I bought her some better stuff) but she does her best. I changed the litter, washed the box out, and then refilled it. She feeds her cat wet food only, which is good.

My grandma had an aneurysm about 15 years ago, and now she is very shy and doesn't socialize much, so she stays in her room most of the day, and like I said the cat keeps her company. She LOVES that thing, and when she was hospitalized, all she was worried about was who was going to take care of her cat. She didn't care about anything else.

I know there are other factors in your situation, but I'm just saying that for some elderly people it is good for them to have pets.

Kittens, or cats for that matter, can shred thin skin sooooo easily. If she MUST get one, I'd vote for a senior kitty that has already been declawed...and is lazy....and is trained to use the toilet (just kidding about that!) A kitten would be a terrible idea, esp with a scooter. OMG!

Good luck with this. I would also encourage her to not make any huge life changes for at least 3 mos. She is hurting and lonely right now, (you all are) which makes it not a good time to make such decisions.

Hugs,

Cally

You're not wrong at all! Taking care of a kitten is not much different than taking care of a baby, and it sounds like your mom would be way over her head with a kitten, and it would become very unfun for everybody involved.

Pam have you thought of maybe another type of pet like maybe a bird. I know the cage has to be cleaned but it could still be a little company for your Mom. I agree a cat is not a good choice whether kitten or senior.

Even I at my age would never get another kitten and I'm still walking around. Talk to your Mom and family and see if anyone could come up with another pet for her.

No you are not wrong. I think it would be a great idea to bring over one of your cats to visit her every week for a few hours. She can have the fun of petting and playing with the cat without all the chores that go with it.

If she is unable to scoop pans, fed, etc for a cat 24/7, then she really is not capable of caring for a kitten or cat. Hopefully your visiting cat will keep her happy.

I think you're very right not wanting to see this happen. The main question is, Can you take another cat? Because chances are, it would be you who would be providing all the care for it. I think taking Mollipop for visits is a great idea. Your mom can have the joy of a cat without having to worry about any of the responsibility

Does she have to have a kitten? Could she have an older cat? 1 of the local shelters here, has seniors for seniors. If a person is over 55, and adopts a cat over the age of 5, they get the cat for free. Maybe a shelter near you would do the same thing? an older cat would probably be better, because if she's using a walker she wouldn't be able to keep up with a kitten, especially if the kitten is very active. Midnight not only tires us out, he tires Luna out, and she's only 7 months old!

A kitten is definitely a very bad idea, but a laid-back senior cat might not overtax her. A litter box doesn't have to be on the floor - if it were up on a table, with a chair for the cat to use to climb up, your mom might cope. Ditto food and water bowls. My mom was an Alzheimer's sufferer for a few years before she died, and not in the best physical shape, but she managed to take good care of three senior dogs and a cat, except for vet visits and medications. They were very good company for her.

I agree with you 100% hun! Why should you have to pay the vet bills, pay for food, litter, etc.? I mean if she could be financially responsible for it, that is one thing, but otherwise, doesn't sound like a good idea to me at all.

I see your point as well. The situation is really not appropriate for a pet of any kind. I hope you can help her to accept that and your other family members don't go behind your back and appease her. It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen in many ways.

It's so tough to get old. The mind may want one thing but the body just can't handle it. I do think having your kitty visit is a great idea, and seems to be the best compromise.

Good luck!

C

I'm concerned your mom is very lonely. I think letting one of your kitties visit often would be nice.

I completely understand why you wouldnt want to let your mom have a cat especially if the responsibility is going to be shouldered onto you and your husband.

I also understand where you are coming from about the whole little kid mentality of 'I want I want I want' and not listening to reason. I have a family member who has one baby already and another on the way who cant even manage to clean her house and make dinner (using the 'well I take care of your baby excuse' to her dh who works, pays for everything and all the bills and her outrageous shopping habits) she wants a cat in the worst way...this is also the same person who was going to declaw their 13 yr old cat because they rented a place with leather furniture and didnt want the expense of training a cat to use scratching posts etc. She keeps trying to adopt one of my outside cats and as much as Id like to see them have a home where they would be loved, I WILL NOT let her take one (thankfully her dh backs me up 100%). My outside kitties, especially Stinky, are way better taken care of as outside cats than they would be as inside cats with her. *But if anyone knows of anyone who can give a home to an adult kitty and about 3 older kittens please contact me...Im still trying to find homes for the rest of the kitties around here*

I delt with this not too long ago when my Nannie was going downhill before she passed on. In my opinion, it would be a bad idea to get her a kitten. I think frequent visits with you and Mollipop would be a much better alternative physically, mentally, and financially.

When my Nannie fell ill the first time and wound up in the hospital, I took in her senior daschuound, Dixie, at my Nannie's request. She knew she was unable to care for her dog at that point and wanted what was best for her. I kept Dixie with me for several months until I moved in with my mom temporarily while I was between apartments. Dixie wound up becomming best buddies with my mom's Beagle, Flowerbelle, so after a few discussions with my family, when I moved out I decided that my mom's home was the best for Dixie and she still lives there today, happy, well fed, and well exercised now that she's with an able-bodied adult that can walk her on a regular basis. Dixie is much happier.

When my Nannie got out of the hospital the first time after all of that, I brought Dixie by on multiple occassions to visit her. Nannie seemed to like that arrangmenet. I also asked her if she wanted Dixie back (I knew the answer, but I wanted her to know it was her decision as well.) My Nannie said that she could no longer handle a dog, so my mom and I just brought Dixie for visits instead. / Fast foward a few weeks later and Nannie's mental health started to decline. She began bugging my poor Aunt non-stop for a kitten. She claimed that a kitten would be easier for her to handle because she wouldn't have to walk it like a dog. Obviously, I strongly advised against it- Nannie had been through multiple hip replacements, multiple grueling hospital stays, and was already physically handicapped from a prior accident (she was missing her left hand completly and only had 3 fingers on her right hand). There was no way that she could physically meet the needs of a young kitten or even an adult kittty. (she wasn't able to bend or scoop litter boxes.) Against my family's advice, my Nannie and her crazy old neighbor went to the shelter and got her a kitten. It was only 3 weeks later that my Nannie became very ill again and passed away soon after. The poor kitten was left homelesss and in a bad situation as a result of my Nannie's impulsive desire to have a pet without thinking about the needs of the animal or it's housing arrangements if something happened to her. (Luckily, my aunt and I found a lovely home for her with a family friend and my aunt visits the kitten often.)

I'm not sharing that story to scare, just to reaffirm that given the circumstance, your mom might not be the best canidate for a kitten or young cat. IF, and I do mean IF, she does well with visits from you and Mollipop and she later becomes financially able to provide for a pet and has a home set aside in her will for the pet if she should pass (I have a will made for all of my pets), then perhaps she could do well with a mechanical litter pan and a senior kitty that is less likely to run out of the door and more likely to lounge on the couch with her. Many shelters/rescues have "seniors for seniors" programs for older adults who get lonely and want the companionship of a pet, but are unable to keep up with the demands of a young animal. Just a thought! Good luck to you and your family