Advice on socializing two newly-adopted ferals

Hi everyone, and thanks for reading

First things first, a little backstory. Last week I adopted two 7-month old male kittens (brothers) who were feral for the first 3-4 months of their lives. They were then rescued, taken to the vet, and kept crated (and together) for the past few months. Their rescuer/foster mom took great care of them during the time she had them...they are up to date on shots, flea treatments, tests, and were both neutered two weeks ago. Their names are Titus and Lucius, respectively:





Before adopting them I took the advice here on the forums to heart and kitty-proofed a room (my bedroom) for them to stay in at first. They have gradually become comfortable with their surroundings and seem to be adapting very well. They use the litter box, they only scratch on their scratching posts, etc. I typically sleep in the room, and they are happy to chase each other up and over the bed, jump over me, sniff me, etc.

Neither cat has ever scratched or bitten anyone, so I am hoping that's a good indicator that they'll socialize. They were very skittish at first but have become friendly enough to walk around me or jump over me when playing/inspecting, although for the most part they still give me a wide berth when walking around the room. Both cats will eat treats from my hand. Titus (first cat pictured above) will allow me to touch him, but doesn't like it and will pull away after a short time or bat my hand away gently. Lucius (second cat pictured) is far more skittish and will hiss softly whenever a hand gets close to him.

My questions are these: how should I go about gaining their trust and affection at this stage? Should I be attempting to pet them or pick them up, or should I leave them alone and wait for them to come to me? Any suggestions you have would be much appreciated. Thanks!

I don't have a lot of experience with ferals, but I had to write in to say that these guys are *beautiful*!

I'm guessing it's a very good sign that they will take food from your hand. I'm sure other members will be along shortly with some advice for you, but in the meantime, good luck with these gorgeous boys!

I can only tell you what works for me. I go into the room and lie down on the floor and read, or write, or just talk to them. When I am writing, I am reading out loud what I wrote and I do all this with a soft tone. After I get up, I leave special meaty treats down where my body has pressed the carpet. This gets them to understand that I am a good guy. I don't pull them out and insist they accept petting or handling (unless they are ill and need meds) If they haven't been handled as kittens, they aren't going to like being petted or stroked until they are ready. I do this process at the same times every day. I never look them in the eye and I really just ignore them except to see to their needs.

I had to smile when I saw your kitten- he reminds me of my Kahuna- may he rest in peace. A member here put together this slideshow memorial when he passed away. Here is a link:

http://www.spearswardco.com/hissy/restpeacefully.gif

he was also skittish when he first arrived here. They come around, but they do so in their time, not ours.

Originally Posted by hissy

I can only tell you what works for me. I go into the room and lie down on the floor and read, or write, or just talk to them. When I am writing, I am reading out loud what I wrote and I do all this with a soft tone. After I get up, I leave special meaty treats down where my body has pressed the carpet. This gets them to understand that I am a good guy. I don't pull them out and insist they accept petting or handling (unless they are ill and need meds) If they haven't been handled as kittens, they aren't going to like being petted or stroked until they are ready. I do this process at the same times every day. I never look them in the eye and I really just ignore them except to see to their needs.

I had to smile when I saw your kitten- he reminds me of my Kahuna- may he rest in peace. A member here put together this slideshow memorial when he passed away. Here is a link:

http://www.spearswardco.com/hissy/restpeacefully.gif

he was also skittish when he first arrived here. They come around, but they do so in their time, not ours.

Click to expand...

Patience is a beneficial key, too.

Not so few young cats arent fond in petting. It comes with time. Im thinking about our older boy as an example. He is properly homeraised, but is a shy boy. In many ways he reminds of an adopted semiferal...
As young he didnt liked to be petted, althouhg he did liked us. One or two strokes over his back or head was more than enough. With time he got a little more petting+friendly, but he wanted it to be when he was comfortably laying down. Thus, there were moments when he saw I wanted to pet him, so he jumped up on the sofa, layied down - and let him be petted awihile.
He become a love and petting bug firstly as fully grown... NOW we can pet him in lengh if we wish, and he usually enjoys it too.
Although only when he is laying down, or being high up. Not when he is standing on the floor.... He even allows now to be held up in our embrace and be petted some...

Good luck!

I do exactly what Hissy described and will emphasize the need for total patience with them. The thing that will give you the most pleasure with them is when they start doing the small things that show you they are making progress.

Also realize that not all cats are going to be friendly lap cats, regardless of their upbringing. Some "normal" raised cats are afraid when a big scary human walks around a room, and some never find a need for a lap. Look for their true personalities and play to those personalities.

2 of the first 3 (littermate) ferals that I took into my life nearly 20 years ago looked like your boys. Samantha was a split image of your boys, and her brother Sebastian was a long haired version. Samantha became quite the lap kitty to me, but hid when anyone else was in the house. Sebastian would only approach me when I was laying in bed, but didn't hide from other people. Our vet gave him the nickname "chainsaw with a heart", as he remained somewhat on the wild side all his life. Their sister would have fooled anyone that she was ever a feral cat - she was one of the most loving cats that I've ever cared for. They were 2 years old when I took them into my home to socialize. Age doesn't always matter - it often comes down to their personalities.

What helped me with these cats was that at the time I adopted them, I had no idea what a feral cat was, therefore I never applied that label to them until long after they crossed and I learned what a feral cat was "supposed" to be. Instead, I treated them as if they had a difficult up bringing before they came into my life, and went out of my way to accept them for who they were. Lose the stigma of of the label "feral" with them and it will be easier for you.

Thank you for rescuing these babies! And beautiful babies they are!

For one week, they are doing just fine! If they're comfortable in the room, then you've already crossed an important hurdle.

I don't have much to add to what the others have said, though I think maybe putting it into perspective may help.

"Socialization" is simply about learning to trust. Cats are - or can be - very social, loving animals - but they are very much about territory. So creating that "comfort zone" where they feel secure in their space is the first step, and you've already accomplished that. The next step is the "trust" barrier - them understanding and accepting that you want nothing at all from them but their happiness.

WE want them to enjoy being petted, and purring, and knowing the warmth of a lap - but they don't know they want that yet. And they're young! They want to play!

So just spend as much time in there as you can - ignoring them, or playing with them, preferably with interactive wand toys (but don't leave them out when you're not there to supervise! Those strings are too enticing!).

With hissy's suggestion, and giving them lots of play, (and leaving treats down for them after a good play session, preferably on a really sweaty t-shirt of yours - something that smells strongly like you), they'll realize - hey - this is GOOD.

Don't worry about how much time it takes for them to get comfortable. All of our kitties are feral rescues, and just like Amy points out - how things develop really has little to do with them being "feral" per se - it's all about what personalities they've got to begin with. One of our kitties loved being petted and brushed from a pretty young age - his brother could accept exactly ONE PET on the cheek for a long time. 8 years later - and I'm not quite sure when this happened, only that it's been over the past year - we can pet or brush him almost endlessly. And while the first is now a lap cat, and the 2nd isn't - he'll actually seek us out and ask for pets now. But he always LOVED to play. And jumping around on the cat trees, after a good play session, he'd always give us a good headbump. "Mom/Dad, I'm not the most affectionate guy in the world, but I love you."

And remember - cats are contrarians. So the more you ignore them, and the more and more they associate you with good stuff - the faster they'll want attention from you.

Some remarks about cat body language, not always known by cat owners:

Streching and yawning, is usually NOT because they are tired or lazy contemporary to what people usually think - but it is a quite common signs of being pal, greeting a pal. Human or another cat.
Seeing this, you can talk extra friendly, or yawn some you too, to show you do recognize their body signs.

Laying down but stretching a paw forward to you - is a friendly gesture.
Or sleeping, you coming, they dont move much but are closing and opening a paw - friendly small greeting...

Small talking, even baby talking, seems to be quite effective. Many rescuers did witnessed talking in a friendly voice is useful. And I believe in this: friendly toms do have much sounds when courting... Moms with their kittens too.


Moving his butt against your face is not contempt or being not interested, but quite the opposite: it is trust, even friendship. You are supposed to smell them in the behind. Usually it is good enough to blew a tiny little on the butt, so the cat feels the wind - and believes you were there and did smelled.
They are NEVER doing this with enemies or cats they dont trust on. Or humans they dont trust on.

Do not raise hand above them - it may be seeing as threating - for a ferale cat it IS treating...

Dont look in their eyes - look on with semiclosed eyes or look at the side.

This with eyes, and raised hands, is one of the differences between home raised cats and semiferales you try to foster...
Home cats are used people often look into their beautiful eyes without meaning any harm...

It is my belief, when cats notice you ARE responding correctly to their body language, they are appreciating it, and developing quicker.

It sounds like you are doing a great job!

Here are a few more body language tricks that we ve found working for us and our dear little feral beast...

Make your hand into a fist. This looks like a cat head and a cat is more likely to approach that than an outstretched hand (it looks like claws).

Lots of slow blinks.

Also, we found playing with wand toys really helped. Our cat would go crazy and would forget that she was afraid of us, and would climb on us to get that feathered wand.

I have 3 ferals that I got at 12 weeks of age. They are from the same family but each one is very different from the other. After trying everything I gave up trying and just lived with them. Each one continues to get tamer, at his/her own speed. The boy is very, very tame. What's great is that I have had them for 1.5 years and they continue to improve every month.

So, the one thing that I have done with them that has really helped is play with them. And the 2 toys that have worked wonders for me are the Turbo Track and Da Bird. I sit on the floor with the turbo track and roll the ball. The ferals roll it back to me. They get so engrossed, I can pet them and they don't bolt. Da Bird just plain tires them out so much that I can pick them up and they are too tired to bolt. The more I pick them up, the less they object.

The nice thing about ferals is that no one else will ever know how many cats you have because they all disappear whenever anyone comes to the door.

Beautiful kitties!

Cats like to chase, and dislike being chased. Tie a shoelace or something similar to your beltloop. As you walk around the room, the kittens may follow you to catch it! You can even tie a small toy at the end of the shoelace. When I was fostering feral(ish) kittens, this trick often helped.

I like that they will eat from your hand. That was another taming trick that I would use...once the feral(ish) kitty had settled in, I would hand feed them. A few got to where they expected it. They would eat from my hand next to a full food bowl (for the other kitties!)

They sound like they have come a long way already!

Getting them used to you is very important and just being around without interacting with them, as someone suggested, is a good idea. I do not think that you should just stand back and wait for them to come to you though. Of course you should not push them or do things like drag them out from under the bed when they're hiding. But in my experience approaching them and touching them a little at a time does help them become more socialized. If you just wait for them to make progress without being proactive it's not going to happen. They are not just automatically going to "get" that you're a nice guy.
Take small steps though. A little at a time but more and more all the time. I have one boy that was born to a tame mom but outside where he had no contact with humans until he was about four months when I came around and started to feed them. Every day I went to feed them I'd sit down on the ground and would stretch out and pet the kitten. He would jump away but would come back to eat soon. I kept doing this more and more, moving closer and closer to him. After about a month or so I could pet him and a while after that I could pick him up. The first night I could pick him up without him trying to get out of my arms I put him in the car and took him home with his tame mom. Now he's doing great and is almost a "normal" cat. He's a little on the skittish side but he's making progress all the time.
I have two other boys too that were also born outside and didnt have contact with humans for the first few months. They have not made as much progress and after two years are still very fearful. The difference between them and the other cat I think is personality. Some cats can become tame, friendly cats despite not being socialized in the first couple of months of life but others cannot. If you get one of these cats after 2-3 months of age it's too late. Of course you will never know what cat has what personality until you try to socialize them.

Please be prepared for the possiblity that these cats may never be completely trusting of you. Considering that they've only been with you for a week and are doing as well as they are they seem to have a pretty good chance of making progress. Just be aware that there is a risk that they will remain fearful. No matter what though you have saved two lives and they will have good, happy lives with you. And that's what matters, that they are happy.

Good luck and thank you for taking a chance on them. Not many people would.

Hi!! I just joined the site and have three sister 7 month old ferals that I trapped from an abandoned house next door. I have had them for only two weeks and they are all sooooooooo very different. One, Pixie, started purring from day two and loves pets, to play and attention. One, Avery, is more agressive but out-going and loves to watch the going's on and does not like to be pet. The last, Fern, is very very frightened but can be pet and held. I keep them in a Midwest cat playpen and have just started letting them out in the morning and night to explore. They stay close to their cage except for Pixie. I find having them in the cage allows me to slowly reach (low) in and pet and pick them up. They have no where to hide and get away so they just have to handle my pets and loving. This way they are learning to trust me and that is the bottom line, trust. The cage makes the process a little more quickly and allowing them to come out of the cage on their own builds their trust in more. They are extremely afraid of my husband and go in their house in the cage and hide everytime he comes around. I don't think they will ever be more than a one person cat with the exception of Pixie. She thinks she has died and gone to heaven with this indoor life.

So I think it is true that even though they are "feral", alot of "tame" kittens can have sensitive and cautious personalities. I try to also think of them as having a bad start in life and realize that it will be a long process for them to trust. I would recommend the large cat playpen because that is where they feel really safe and will run to it if you just leave the doors open. For the first two weeks, though, I kept them in. I just only started leaving the door open and sit on the floor in front of the cage playing with toys. Pixie was the first to step out and was to enthralled with the toys, didn't even notice me. Last night, she gave me the best gift !!!!!!!!!!! She came right up to me as I sat on floor and rubbed and rolled on me!

I really think it depends on each cat's personality as to how long the "trusting" will take. Please let me know how it is going as this is why I joined this wonderful site, to connect with all of you cat lovers out there