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are female cats more affectionate than males?

post #1 of 24
12/9/10 at 6:40am
Thread Starter 
I have three cats. Two male, Doodad and Ponce, one female, Moonbat.

All three love me, of that I have no doubt (the feeling is mutual ). But, only the female, Moonbat, really likes to "love on me" (kneeding, purring, crying for attention). The two males like attention some as well but only for a few breif seconds at a time. Once they get the "acknowledgement" they want, they leave until they want it again (or get hungry). I will say this, one of the males, Doodad, does sleep with me (loves to hide under the covers). But that is more because the bed is a nice place to sleep, not so much because of me :|

Anyway, just wondering if female cats are more affectionate in general, or even if it has something to do with female cats liking men more than women :P)
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post #2 of 24
12/9/10 at 6:47am
well, I am a female and it has been my experience that my boys are more affectionate. My girls are both drama queens and are always causing some sort of ruckus but they are both cuddly with me and like to sit on my lap and Pandora does sleep with me but my boys are more laid back so I like boy kitties better... maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy type of thing with my crew
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post #3 of 24
12/9/10 at 7:39am
I have been owned by two males and one female. The female (who passed in 1993) was affectionate, but not overly so. She was very laid-back and adaptable and happy wherever she was and whomever she was with!

Casey (who passed in 2008) was a cuddlebug. He was a tabby boy and liked attention, but not at the point of being "obnoxious" about it. He liked to twirl himself around our legs.

Buddy, my current boy, is only cuddly when the mood strikes him and he really dislikes being petted for more than a minute or two. He does like to have the nape of his neck stroked, but that is about it. He tends to snap when greeted with overt affection. He likes to be close to us, but touching is not really his thing.

So, I would say it depends on the cat.
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post #4 of 24
12/9/10 at 7:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhillyGal View Post

So, I would say it depends on the cat.
I agree. It also depends on the history of the cat. My senior female was aloof in her younger years. But she mellowed to a warm, friendly elderly cat. The orphans (4 boys and 1 girl) grew up very loving and cuddly. And then there are the rescued strays. Their affection towards me varied as their personalities.
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post #5 of 24
12/9/10 at 8:08am
It really does depend on the cat.

Da Lip, Jack and Streak (male) are pests while Zabbie, and Splash are standoffish and Tippy is just shy. Hissy accepts attention on her terms, and Da Magpie is a nuisance
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post #6 of 24
12/9/10 at 8:30am
Between my own cats and fostering, I have come into contact with SO many cats over the years and can honestly say that sex has NOTHING to do with how affectionate a cat is. I have known so many lovey boys AND lovey girls. All cats are different. They each have their own individual personalities.
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post #7 of 24
12/9/10 at 8:30am
I adopted my two as adults - Dharma resists being carried, and has not once sat on my lap - but she greets me at the door every evening, follows me room to room, and just now spent an hour watching me do holiday cards.

Dante was a lap cat from the first - like to cuddle next, or on top, of me at night, and sits on my lap at least twice a day. I can also pick him and carry him around pretty easily.

I think it does depend on the cat - but I also tend to think black males are super friendly.
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post #8 of 24
12/9/10 at 8:58am
I think most male cats are more tolerant than female cats. With all of the girl cats I've been around something has to be their idea for them to go along with - including being held.

But for actual affection, it's about the same. How bonded your cat is to you matters, too.

As for who cuddles up in bed, after DH goes to work I get all seven in bed with me.
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post #9 of 24
12/9/10 at 11:55am
I can only give your my experiences, but in our household, all the boys are MY cats...they cuddle up to me and love to be held by me, etc. and don't want to have much to do with my hubby, and our Princess doesn't want to have anything to do with me...she is strictly hubby's little girl! So, at night while watching TV, we've got 3 cats and ME on one couch, and it's just hubby and Callie on the other. (he's SO jealous!!)
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post #10 of 24
12/9/10 at 12:42pm
It's definitely individual to the cat. I have one male (Jack) and two females (Lily and Boo). Jack is the most affectionate followed very closely by Boo. Lily scoffs at attention.

It is funny that Jack is definitely my kitty...he loves everybody but sticks like glue to me. Both of the girls prefer my husband and son to me.
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post #11 of 24
12/9/10 at 1:09pm
I guess I'm bias. My boys are the lovers around here and when I pet sit, I find the boys there, in general, to be more lovey as well. Maybe I just like the boys better and I'm projecting that on them or maybe that's just the luck of the draw.
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post #12 of 24
12/9/10 at 2:10pm
In my experience it depends on the personality of the individual cat, and not the gender. And how they feel about you.


Robin
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post #13 of 24
12/9/10 at 3:26pm
I think it depends on the cat. I never had any luck with female cats, they either hid from me or attacked me. Until I got Luna. She loves me, but I'm not her favorite. I've always had good luck with male cats. I find that the cats in this house choose their favorites.

I'm Midnight's favorite. My mother was Lynxx's favorite. My father is Luna's favorite.
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post #14 of 24
12/9/10 at 3:30pm
^You're younger, though, correct? As I mentioned, female cats just don't seem to have the same amount of tolerance that male cats do. As a result even kids that are careful and good to cats tend to annoy some female cats. I certainly know I did as a kid, we had a three female cats that just weren't that fond of me... never mind the fact that I had litter box duty and fed them.

It may simply be that now that you're older female cats are starting to get along with you better. That was also the case with me, too.
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post #15 of 24
12/9/10 at 7:07pm
I really do think the boys are more affectionate. Not say that no female cats are but I definitely see more snuggly boys.
Of our 3, 2 males, 1 female...the males loooove attention, hugs, kisses and play time. While Sami prefers to lay in her chair, undisturbed much of the time. She will wander over to someone from time to time like she wants some attention but makes this weird sound and runs away when you reach for her. Brat..
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post #16 of 24
12/9/10 at 8:45pm
With me it depends on the cat and their personality. My current eldest Kuce (female) is the most affectionate (and the most appreciative of having a home), follwed by Luvbug (male) (yes he is a big affectionate lover boy). Sphinx (RB male) was mellow and was affectionate at times and Lil' Jag (female) has her love moments but as a rule is more standoffish at the moment. Tux (our newest male) has his love moments but being a former stray is perhaps the most standoffish but he has imrpoved alot.
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post #17 of 24
12/9/10 at 8:57pm
Contrary to what other have said, I think there may be something to this. I'm a guy and I've always found females way more affectionate than males. And after talking to a few of my female friends who have cats, they say the males are more affectionate.
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post #18 of 24
12/9/10 at 9:05pm
^..It would be nice to have more guys weigh in on this.

I do have female cats now that are extremely bonded and a couple of them are usually stuck up my butt (to be exact, stuck to my lap - it can be difficult to get them to move). Growing up I had a couple female cats that were just as clingy and affectionate to me.
Then there's MewMew outside, she's not picky and loves everyone who's willing to crouch down and pet her.
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post #19 of 24
12/9/10 at 11:07pm
Depends on the cat, and probably their past as well. All my current cats are pedigree, all raised very well and with their mothers for the appropriate time, they are all smoochy, friendly cats who climb into anyone's lap soon as they sit down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
As a result even kids that are careful and good to cats tend to annoy some female cats.
What a shame your females were like that, my girls are fantastic with kids, then again the breed is known for that.
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post #20 of 24
12/10/10 at 5:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by missymotus View Post
What a shame your females were like that, my girls are fantastic with kids, then again the breed is known for that.
We adopted one from a vet clinic, another came from someone else and was nearly an adult at the time, and yet another was a stray. You can't really pick out what you're going to get when you're choosing to save a life.
But for what it's worth, the grumpiest of the bunch only liked my mother so it wasn't just me she disliked.
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post #21 of 24
12/10/10 at 9:19am
In my opinion gender does not seem to make a big difference between how "loving" a cat is. I have worked with hundreds of rescues and fosters over the years. Plus owning my own cats. I think a lot of it has to do with what a person considers to be "loving". Or more along the line of what a person enjoys. Lastly it of course matters the individual cats background.

But I will say that I have found male cats to more behaviorally reliable once fixed. That means that if the male cat is "sweet and loving" they tend to be that way MOST of the time. That is not to say they do not have an off day. But they seem to be "steady" in temperament. While I have found female cats to be more "moody".

Please note these are my personal experience with spayed/neutered cats.
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post #22 of 24
12/11/10 at 3:57am
In the past my male cats have all been wayy more affectionate than my current male is. Hercules is affectionate but on his own terms, he is more content to sleep on a pizza box, in the windows or the back of the couch.

Two of my females are psychotic. Ramsie my 9 (soon to be 10) wk old kitten is an in your face type of cat. Part of that I think is because Ive had her since she was 5 wks old and for about 2 weeks she was carried around everywhere when she was out and about in the house. Gigi my 2 yr old is seriously crazy. She is my bathroom kitty, you can not lock her out of the bathroom at all or she freaks out. She likes to be on your lap or my personal pet peeve that I instigated when she was a kitten is when Im sitting on the sink while Bf gets a shower she will climb up my back, jump from the toilet onto my shoulders or just use me as a cat tower. I have scratches alllllll over my back from her and the little munster wont let me trim her claws.......I tried but its like waging war against 30 full grown rabid cats trying to get her to let me trim just one nail.

Bacon, my 3rd female is affectionate but only once in a blue moon and when she wants attention she is in your face and wont let you alone. But it doesnt happen very often only every couple of days.
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post #23 of 24
12/11/10 at 5:25pm
I'm a guy and my Max was much more affectionate to me than Sophie. Max wasn't a lap cat, but he liked to be near me and he didn't mind being petted. Sophie would usually scratch me if I petted her for more than a few seconds. Max usually slept close to me (near the pillow) while Sophie would sleep at the foot of the bed. Max was most affectionate when he had just woken up. He would say meow and then follow me to my desk where he would rub up against my legs and head butt me. I would reach down and pet him while he was doing this and walking around my feet. When he had enough, he would jump up on the desk and curl up on top of my left hand. I would then have to type with only one hand so as not to disturb him. lol

However, the two of them liked to play together, but Max usually initiated the play. Max was more dominant but he wasn't a bully.
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post #24 of 24
12/11/10 at 6:13pm
Both of my kitties are affectionate now, but Buttercup was much slower to come around and nothing tops Wesley on demanding petting or constantly jumping on my lap or chest to the point of being a pest. He also rolls over to get his belly rubbed, likes various forms of hands on play, and can be held feet face up like a baby, all of which Buttercup is not super fond of and quickly squirms away.

Its one of those nature versus nurture things.

Take 100 cats all brought up the same, and you're more likely to find more neutered males affectionate and easy-going than females.

But thats only a generalization and disregards the nurture part of their experience as kittens growing up.
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