It makes me kind of sad . . .

Maybe I'm being silly. But two of my female cats, Lily and Ariel were adopted together from the same shelter, a year ago, on November 27, 2009. They were Black Friday specials () and I had picked them out over the preceding few weeks.

They were confined to my home office room together the first few days. Though they didn't have a relationship initially, and they hissed at each other in the beginning, they bonded and became very good friends. They were together much of the time - playing, wrestling, grooming each other, and generally showing that they were BFF's. It was very cute and heartwarming and made me so glad of heart that they had each other. They both have had a hard past.

But, they are just not the same with each other now, and I just have to face it, though I've been trying not to believe it for months.. When I got them I had two male, DSH black cats. One of them, Sherman, tragically died of cancer last spring. He was the reason I got Ariel in the first place, because they had been confined together in the Operations Manager's office for about a year - to socialize them. So, she was one of his few friends. I had Claudio, also, and still have him. He has a good relationship with Ariel, but not so good with Lily as they are too much alike and compete for a lot of the same things (like me).

The change seemed to start when I brought Harlow home last July. And I don't think it is anything he's doing. He and Lily seem to respect each other and keep a distance. He "worries" Ariel some, but nothing extreme.

There is nothing really obvious about the change between Lily and Ariel. They still are cordial to each other. For example Lily lets Ariel sit in/on her wave (or curl) horizontal scratcher - and she won't let anyone else do that. But they don't seem to play together and wrestle anymore, and seldom do I see them lying in the same place, like on my desk where this computer is. And I never see them groom each other any more. And those used to be a daily things.

I used to say that Lily and Ariel were in love. Maybe they fell out of love. I don't know. But it makes me sad.


Robin

No comment from anyone in almost 24 hours? I guess it really is too sad.

After I wrote, Ariel was on the desk by the computer and I was petting and brushing her. Lily, who loves to be brushed more than anyone, jumped up and asked for her turn. Soon Ariel was sniffing Lily and vise versa and they looked like they were going to groom each other - like the old days. But pretty soon there were cross noises and Ariel was flinching away from Lily, and it was all over.

It seems like Ariel still wants to be close to Lily, but Lily won't have it anymore. I wonder what happened between them?

I think I need to hire a cat "communicator" or else a cat marriage counselor.

Robin

It was feeding time here about 45 minutes ago. For a long time the routine was the Lily and Ariel got their bowls in my office (where computer is). Lately, Ariel will rarely go in there with Lily for this meal (the one wet meal a day). Lily is very interested in this meal, and Ariel is some days. But I've been having to feed Ariel out in the kitchen (with the boys) most nights, or else she won't eat it at all. (She does eat kibble though, and plenty of it.)

Tonight at "dinner" Ariel ran into the office with Lily, like the old days. So they've been locked in there together for much of the last hour (which was the routine for many months). They are both on the desk now - Lily beside my computer and Ariel behind it. They used to spend hours there together, even when it wasn't feeding time. But never now.

I told them when I just came in the room just now that maybe I should lock them in that room for a week together (like when I first got them) and make them work out their differences (just kidding, though it is tempting).

Thanks for the input. I don't have any confidence in my vet (or other vets) to have ideas about this kind of thing. I don't think that is what they are trained to do. It's more of a cat behaviorist type of thing. They are both quite playful. They both participate eagerly in sessions with Da Bird and other toys.

Tonya weighs 8 lbs. even and Lily weighs almost the same at 7.9 lbs. Tonya still lives in "her" room, though only a gate is up for the last few weeks (door never closed) and she can get through it, but she doesn't go out it - just in through it if I take her out and she breaks free. Lily could go through the gate, but she doesn't. She does go over it some, though, and she's the only one who does. She does this if I'm in the room playing with a feather duster type wand toy with Tonya. Lily doesn't try to play though, she just sits under a rocking chair and watches Tonya play. Sometimes Tonya hisses at her when she jumps over the gate, and sometimes, not. That's a little tiny bit of progress there.

Ariel is a bit aggressive with Tonya. Nothing serious, but I'm mindful of her when Tonya is out (brought out by me). Harlow is also worrying Tonya. Claudio is just a spectator. They all spend time looking at Tonya through the gate, and she back at them. I wonder if Tonya upset the apple cart.

It is interesting in how they all have relationships - complex relationships - with each other. Maybe this is just a lovers' quarrel and they will get over it. It's hard to live with others, day in and day out, no matter your species. I'm going to have a talk with these two (Ariel and Lily) right now and tell them I want them to be friends again and make up. I wonder if they'll listen to me?

Robin

You may very well be right, Strange wings. There may be some kind of jealousy regarding Lily's interest and non-aggression in Tonya. Ariel may be feeling threatened or displaced. I hate to admit it, but Tonya has been a wrench in the smooth running happy family we had before.

These female cats and all their drama are about as easy to deal with as a bunch of 5th grade girls!

However, my two boys don't get along so well all the time either. They are either swearing at each other, giving each other "the look" and swishing their tails at each other, or else, on the other hand, they are touching noses and rubbing up against each other.

Some days I remember fondly when I had one or two cats. Life was much simpler then.

But I love them all and I'm glad they are here. In time, it will all work out.

Robin

Exactly!




Robin

Oh, LDG, that makes me sad, too.

I've only had these two girl cats a little over a year. And their relationship changed over the last few months. They never actually cuddled. I haven't had cats that cuddled with each other is such a long time. I wish they would. But Ariel and Lily were very close. Now they're not.

I guess I'm just going to have to get used to it, and hope they will change back eventually.

Robin