Please help me :(

Where is he now?
When was his last check up?
A sudden change of behavior could be a sign of illness.

It sounds like your cat was suffering from multiple things. First, he was edgy because of the move, as you said. He then saw your fiance, who he apparently doesn't like because he uses physical reprimands, so he bit him. He was probably still being aggressive from that incident when he bit you, especially if he's never shown aggression towards you. Misplaced aggression is very common in cats, as they spend most time inside and you are the only one to vent on.

Also, you've had him for 5 years, he should be considered family. Don't let one bite (I don't count any of your fiance's bites, if it's due to him reprimanding your cat incorrectly) affect how you see him.

Is your cat declawed? It's odd that he's going for bites before swiping.

Tell your fiancee if he hits this cat one more time, you are going to hit HIM with a stick. if your cat feels threatened, he will attack. When someone hits, smacks, taps or hurts a cat, they never forget. They just never do and they can and do become aggressive. Honestly, if my husband ever hit any of my cats it would be the last time he would see me or the cats. Even a small tap is dangerous. you need to talk to your fiancee and set him straight about leaving this cat alone. If he doesn't then you are going to have more attacks because it is misdirected aggression. If they hit an animal, when are they going to strike a child, or you?

It could be that your cat is getting overexcited and forgetting what a play nip is. It sounds like most of the bites happen at night while you are asleep. Is it possible you're rolling on top of him or something, and he's biting reactionarily? You could close him out of thebedroom at night, since that seems to be his problem area/time. Honestly, your cat has only bitten someone four times according to you, in five years, you have nothing to be afraid of. That means 1822 out of the last 1826 days you've owned him, he hasn't bitten someone. That's a solid track record.

Though, if he had to sleep outside and hasn't been let in since you started this thread, he might be pissed at you for that, too.

To be honest, it sounds like you're overreacting a bit because the one time he bit you, it got infected. That is bad luck, and traumatizing if you hate shots, but it's not his fault that his teeth have bacteria on them. I don't know, I just feel I wouldn't consider giving my cats to shelter if they bit me on average once a year.

Well, most of the nocturnal behavior in your latest reply sounds like a typical young cat to me. If you do work 14 hour days, he's probably lonely and a bit attention-starved. I'd consider getting him a buddy, another cat. The scratching outside your door is pretty normal (our cat does it too if we don't let him sleep with us), and there are ways to deal with it that I think have been detailed elsewhere on this forum. Or, I can come back and post about it later.

All I can say is that it really doesn't sound like anything too out of the ordinary. He probably needs more playtime and attention than he's getting right now, so either you and your fiance need to provide that or you need to get him a companion who can help burn off steam. Sorry you're stressed, but take a deep breath and a step back: he's part of your family, so there are a lot of different things to try that will help restore the relationship you both want to have.

Neutering calms down cats a lot, it is definitely worth doing. Also, if he ever got out, he could inpregnate some females and add to the overpopulation.

Please make an appointment to have him neutered and vaccinated ASAP. You obviously love him and want to do what is right for him....I am shocked that any veterinarian would suggest " give him away" before suggesting the most obvious probability.......

I don't think the vet suggested it, I think it was her doctor that said give him away.

Years ago we had a cat - Cujo, aptly named - that had lived on the street most of his life and would attack like a crazy cat. Chased my mom and bit the back of her leg pretty bad once.

We took him in, had him neutered, and he calmed down quite a bit. He ended up being one of the most lovable cats we ever had.

Neuter, neuter neuter, please! That will make a world of difference!

I'm surprised he isn't spraying your home like a fire man putting out a fire. Neutering calms them down but it doesn't happen overnight. It takes a few months after a neuter for a male to calm down. But it would stop him from biting you. Also it isn't his fault that you got so infected. You have cat scratch fever (as do I) I almost lost my hand a few years ago because I too am susceptible to cat scratch fever. be sure your tetanus is up to date.

So, for clarification, your cat was never brought to a vet? Perhaps it is time that you invest some money on a visit. The veterinarian will not only provide the overdue health check up of your cat, suggest you have him neutered and give you more info about feline care.

OMG, he is not neutered? We have the responsibility when we take on a cat to take care of it.

Start with the neutering. You may find this will help considerably.

I can't imagine hitting my cat with a stick.

Some notes:

- Your cat might have bitten your fiance in the first place because he was new and maybe taking your attention away from the cat. Your fiance SHOULD discourage biting but not to the point of hurting the cat. A loud noise also helps.

- If he's biting you at night, he might also be playing. As others have said, since cats are nocturnal, the middle of the night is their prime time to hunt. My cat does it sometimes where he's running around like he's chasing invisible mice. If you or your fiance moved in the bed at night, he might think you're the prey and try to bite you. Shermie does that with your toes, like he's hunting. If he bit you hard enough to draw blood, that definitely is bad luck but since it was only one time you shouldn't freak out yet. However, if you do get your skin punctured by a cat YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD GO TO THE DOCTOR'S RIGHT AWAY because cats' mouths are full of bacteria and if left untreated or poorly treated with antibiotics you can get an infection.

- A squirt bottle might work as a bite deterrent as long as you don't get water directly in his ears or eyes. It may also help as a deterrent to keep your cat off the bed.

- It is possible to keep your cats out of your bedroom. Like one other person said, there are tips floating around in these forums. Also, you might have to endure a few nights w/ earplugs and a noise machine but the cat will get used to it if you stay consistent. Also it'll help him if you leave toys, scratching post and bed in another room so he'll have something to occupy him.

- If he acts like he has excessive energy I would definitely get a laser pointer or wand or ball or some kind of toy where you can wave it around and let him go nuts for a while. it worked like a charm w/ my kitten. he'd sleep a good amount at night.

- and yes, DEFINITELY TAKE HIM TO A VET! You can ask your local shelter if they do veterinary care or if they can recommend a cheap play for a neuter. It will help A LOT...and it will take some time of doing some of the things listed above but like others have said, he should calm down.

- Please, please, please, please, please don't give him to a shelter and tell them it's b/c he's aggressive. That will make him a more likely candidate to be put to sleep and it will SEVERELY limit his chances of being adopted. He doesn't sound like an aggressive cat (i.e. he's not attacking your feet all the time or growling/hissing/biting constantly). And also, he is your family and adopting an animal means taking on the responsibilities of care and working with the difficult times. At least try these things before you make the decision that you can't handle him.


I would say definitely try things that other people have recommended. And IMHO your cat is not aggressive but just misunderstood. Best of luck!

Everyone who suggested neutering your cat gave you the answer you are looking for. Un-neutered cats are very aggressive and that's why he's biting. Yes, it can take up to two months for the raging hormones to die down and yes it costs money to get him neutered, but since he has been your cat for 5 years isn't he worth it?

Original poster, it is very good advice to take your cat to be neutered. Hormones can cause cats to have some habits that are annoying to humans. Neutering him will help him to calm down right away, but the hormones that drive him to reproduce will not dissipate immediately.

Male cats that are not neutered have the drive to mate. Often, male cats will fight for mating rights. Perhaps your cat is exhibiting dominant behavior on your fiance and acting out on these urges?

Neutering has some health benefits to it (in addition to reducing pet overpopulation!). Neutered cats don't roam to find mates (they can travel long distances and be gone for long periods of time!), have reduced risk for certain types of cancers, and because it decreases the urge to fight then the risk of viruses (like FIV or FeLV) is also reduced. It's a good investment.

If you don't know of low-cost clinics in your area, you could start by calling the local veterinarian or animal shelter and asking them if they know of any low-cost places or organizations that can help with the cost.

Hope this helps some!

Thalia,
You know me from another site (mfp) and requested my opinion here. Just a brief background for you other participants. I am a veterinarian working in a mixed-animal practice in Northern Utah. We have a full-time behavior specialist on-staff who should really be answering this post, but I believe I can provide some good insight myself.
First off, let me tell you that you deserve kudos for being willing to rescue an animal that would obviously have died otherwise. The first step is obviously a big one. Regardless of errors or oversight on your part, and lets be honest, we all make them with our kitties, you should be commended for that first, loving step!
I do have to take exception to several things that have been said- forgive me if I am misinterpreting the intentions of the poster...firstly- to take a cat that has agressively attacked (regardless of provocation) to a shelter and NOT reveal the attack is putting someone else in the same risk from which you are trying to escape, so that isn't something I'd recommend.
Secondly, I fully agree with those who are recommending neutering. Regardless of the other issues, which I will discuss in a moment, it is very likely that there is a hormonally driven component to his attacking / defensive/agressive/territorial/whatever-it-may-be-motivated-by behavior. Neutering is an obvious first step. How much it will help is tough to predict at this point, as he is 5 years old and some of the behavior will have become learned behavior without obvious hormonal input. Having said that, however, it is the first thing ANY veterinarian worth their license would recommend, because it so often will have far-reaching effects for the good.
As far as the motivations for this behavior, I think that the obvious one has been left out- this cat was NEVER socialized. He was an orphan, grew up with people, led what sounds like a very sheltered existence, and thus was never de-sensitized to a lot of the things that most cats are exposed to as young kittens. It is a proven, scientific fact that the majority of a cat's character, behavior, and personality is determined by what happens to them in the first 12-24 weeks of life. Their brains are developing so quickly at that point, that if they have little chance to learn how to be a cat (either due to illness, loss of siblings or parent(s), or simple isolation) they will become what they are able to manage. Oftentimes this is an animal that has very few "normal" regulators to behavior. Their tolerance for change is greatly reduced, and their reactions to stress are often over-the-top and unduly exaggerated (like biting/scratching rather than just leaving a stressful situation).
I would also wonder how much the cat's behaviors are a territorial reaction to a "rival" invading his life in the form of your b.f. It certainly sounds like he feels you "belong" to him, and is reacting to the stress of having to share you.
Unfortunately, if the neutering doesn't make a big difference, you may be in for along haul I have personally dealt with 2 cats in the past 15 years with behaviors as exaggerated as his. (essentially an attack without apparent provocation). 1 of them SEEMED to respond to the spray bottle technique initially, but eventually the stress of being sprayed caused him to escalate and redirect his behaviors to where it was scary to even enter the house. He, unfortunately, had to be euthanized.
The second cat did eventually become manageable, although he was never a "normal cat"...i.e. his behaviors were a little more predictable, but he could never be trusted with strangers, in the bedroom at night, etc. With HUGE effort on the part of the owner, he does now live a relatively low-stress life, and she feels his quality of life is acceptable. He is on daily anti-anxiety medication and she is able to regiment his environment enough to mostly avoid the things that seemed to set him off. (Finding those triggers, by the way, took a good part of a year and multiple home visits by our trainer) .
Unfortunately, in spite of how much we love them, there are cats out there who we just can't afford (financially, emotionally, or liability-wise) to help the way we'd like to. It is an unfortunate reality in this world. However, you haven't done the most obvious things yet, so let's hope that makes a big difference.
I hope this isn't a downer/type message- I don't intend it to be...There is certainly a reasonable chance that getting him neutered (along with a good physical exam to be sure no other possible causes) will help a lot. If so, GREAT! If it doesn't, you will definitely have to make some tough choices...unfortunately, if you go down the "trying to modify his behavior" road without medical and behavioral specialists helping, it can be dangerous to you and anyone who comes in contact with him. Here's hoping that it doesn't come to that. Get him neutered and give him at least a month for behaviors to start to change. I WOULD keep him out of the bedroom from now on for sure- may take awhile, but it is a very good idea.
Best of luck to you- thougths are with ya!

Lastly, even though it hurts immensely to admit it, there ARE times when euthanasia IS the most humane choice (sorry miao kitty, but I really believe this). Cats that don't respond to the above-mentioned ideas are in a constant state of anxiety, fear, and agitation. They are NOT happy, and their quality of life can be really poor. If one were to measure the stress hormones on these cats, they'd be through the roof. I've been down this road with clients who have had to euthanize a BELOVED but dangerous pet. We've cried, we've held hands, we've grieved, but we've felt such a sense of relief for the poor lost souls of these pets when we've given them a blessed release from the fear, the pain, and the stress of living life like that. Please don't misunderstand me- I am NOT advocating euthanasia for simply-managed behavioral problems- at my hospital we have a very RIGOROUS set of criteria for when it is OK to euthanize an animal, and we always require proof that there has been a good-faith effort to hep these animals. However, it is also our duty to be advocates for the animals, and sometimes that means saying goodbye.
Again, hope that this is a completely non-applicable discussion for your kitty- neutering definitely helps so many of them. Best of luck!

I haven't read through all the posts but saw he was not neutered. I breed pedigree cats and often get bitten by them in the night. They are looking for a mate, and will often try and use your arm. If you have ever seen two cats mate, the male usually starts by grabbing the cats neck. This has happened to me many times, and I think you've made the best decision to get him neutered

You need to have a cat carrier. No other method is safe. Some shelters wil let you borrow one, or if you know someone you can borrow one from. Or you can buy one at Wal-Mart for about $25. If he doesn't go in by himself (throw a treat in, maybe he'll go for it), you can throw a towel over him and put him in the carrier.

Make sure he gets all his shots while he's at the vet!

Also, DO NOT have him de-clawed! (Some vets will push the procedure at the same time as neutering) De-clawing an adult cat frequently makes them much more aggressive, and can lead to increased chance of biting.

I think purchasing a cat crate is really the best option. You have a kitty - he needs a crate.

I think you'll find he becomes a real sweetie pet after he's neutered!