She's gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hissy

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Feb 19, 2001
Messages
34,872
Purraise
76
Oh Sweetie, my heart aches for you as well. You and I have talked about this all before. When my uncle was dying of AIDS no one in the family would go to him (to ashamed) I went to him and saw him in the last stages of this horrible disease. The disease had ate away most of his flesh, the nurses were afraid of him, he was in a coma. Like you, now pray for your dad's release, I prayed nightly for my uncle to die.

Your post brought tears to my eyes and recollections flooding past. I too pray that soon your father will be released from the disease that has robbed him of a life and you of a father.


I love you Kim- Hugs (((((())))))))))
 

fluffy'smom

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jun 25, 2003
Messages
645
Purraise
1
Kim-I'm so sorry your dad is ill.
My father is also ill. He has Prostate Cancer which has spread to his bones. We will find out on August 8 if the cancer is still spreading. I pray that it isn't. My dad is only 62 and to my 3 year old daughter her grandpa is everything to her. If he passes away how do i explain that...? I don't know. Because i know what these homes Are like i could never put my dad there. My sister and her fiancee are buying a house and it will be one with a basement suite so my parents can move in.They can't afford where they are now because my dad is unable to work. All this is a 3 month span. I'm praying for a miracle.
 

kimward34

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 5, 2002
Messages
2,308
Purraise
12
Location
Florida, USA
Hey Kellye - Thank you! I needed that virtual hug.

Danielle - I am sorry to hear that your dad is so ill, too. I totally understand your concern for you daughter. Believe it or not...my son is taking everything well. As a matter of fact, all of the grandchildren are. I have learned that the best thing to do is so be honest with them... tell them as much as they can understand for their age. It's amazing really, kids seem to handle this sort of thing better than the adults
.......

 

kimward34

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 5, 2002
Messages
2,308
Purraise
12
Location
Florida, USA
Maryanne - Thank you. I know I have wore your ear out the past year over Dad and you have been very patient, understanding and supportive everytime I blubber about it. You are a life saver, my friend!

[HUGE HUG]
 

jellybelly

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2003
Messages
1,589
Purraise
1
Location
where G Bush used to reign


this thread is so depressing, I feel for all of you and what you had to or currently going through with your parents and or inlaws. Sherral I do understand what you went through, I had to go through the same with my mother in-law and it is very tough but in the end all of these experiences makes us stronger. Hugs to you and Kim and everyone else who is suffering emotionally from these situations.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #26

sherral46

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 23, 2002
Messages
4,450
Purraise
2
Location
Virginia (WARM SPRINGS)
If we could afford a full time home nursing care we would.But we can't,she is 90,and healthy(except the dememtia).for some reason,we can't get it.I am happy some of you can afford to keep your love ones at home,just because we can't don't judge us.Tted has 2 older brothers who could and they won't,at least for 2 years we tried.
 

hissy

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Feb 19, 2001
Messages
34,872
Purraise
76
It is a part of life to accept death and dying. Never is it easy and going through the grief process is long and tedious. Hopefully one day there will be pill that you can take that will just put you to sleep like in the Sci-Fi flick Soylent Green- although what they did afterwards was a bit distasteful!
 

thecatguy

TCS Member
Kitten
Joined
Aug 17, 2002
Messages
7
Purraise
0
Location
Orlando, Fl
Originally posted by Tybalt
Sherral, you must forgive the clueless ones who have no idea what senile dementia does to a person. I have no family to become a burden on, and I will end my own life before I slip into that living hell of madness.
No offense but Tybalt, that means she needs to forgive you, too.
 

thecatguy

TCS Member
Kitten
Joined
Aug 17, 2002
Messages
7
Purraise
0
Location
Orlando, Fl
Tybalt - I'll start off by saying sorry for my sarcasm - I reacted to the first line in your post. IMO - I don't think calling people "Clueless" is necessary in such a sensitive thread. There's obviously enough pain in here. Have you lived through the kind of pain that's being discussed in here?

I have lived through caring for both of my parents. Two years ago, my father died at the age of 100 - he had pancreatic and liver cancer and seven months later, my mother (86 years old) died of the long term effect of having MS for 40 years.

Reading through this thread, it appears that the members who bothered to post DO understand dementia and/or other illnessess that come with aging. It seems they have dealt with hardship of caring for their aging loved ones or they work in an environment where they see it first hand. Again, IMO, I do not see anyone clueless in here...

You ask Sherral to forgive the "clueless," while admitting that you have no family ... (Sorry to hear that) So before you refer to people as "Clueless" what is your experience with aging loved ones and dementia?




Keith
 

hissy

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Feb 19, 2001
Messages
34,872
Purraise
76
This is an important albiet very sad and distressing thread. Please try and keep your replies civil and respectful. There is a lot to be learned here and we are all adults. This is a part of life all of us are going to face at one moment in time when we wish we could turn the clock back. There is nothing to be gained by being disrespectful or snide in a thread of this nature.

And Sherral I am sorry that you had to be frightened so by your mother-in-law while she was living with you. Most of us did not know the particulars of what happened while you were caring for her. I answered you the way I did, going only on what you put out on the boards about her. I did not know the rest of the story. I am sorry if I caused you any further pain.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #31

sherral46

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 23, 2002
Messages
4,450
Purraise
2
Location
Virginia (WARM SPRINGS)
Thanks,Hissy,I try real hard to forget some of the things she did,because I know she did not know all she was doing.
 

sammie5

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 3, 2002
Messages
1,690
Purraise
3
Sherral, my heart goes out to you. It is such a difficult thing to go through, caring for an aging parent with any kind of medical problems, and to have dementia added to the mix just makes this an emotional minefield.

I understood your first post to be not delight that you had finally shipped her away, but rather relief that you finally had a solution to a situation that had become unbearable.

The most valuable advice we received with the care of my mother was, once she moved to a hospice, we could stop being caregivers, which is emotionally and physically draining, and go back to being a loving supportive family.

The stress of caregiving sometimes takes over your whole life, and can make you physically and emotionally unwell. If you have a healthy body and a healthy heart, then you can survive the difficult things that she does with love and kind memories of times past that were not so difficult.
 

kimward34

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 5, 2002
Messages
2,308
Purraise
12
Location
Florida, USA
Originally posted by sherral46
Thanks,Hissy,I try real hard to forget some of the things she did,because I know she did not know all she was doing.
Hey Sherral - I'm sorry she frightened you, too. You know, the sicker dad became, the more physical he became and it was scary as heck.

At our local Alzheimer's Support Group just about everyone has a scary story to tell... My dad gave my mom a black eye when she was sleeping... he thought he was in Japan and thought mom was an enemy! Eventually he calmed down but obviously he became more than my mother could handle.

We had to be careful about leaving the grand kids alone with him because of these outbursts. The doctors call it "Sun Downing" - It's typical that dementia sufferers get more agitated in the evenings and act out…
 

fluffy'smom

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jun 25, 2003
Messages
645
Purraise
1
Originally posted by Tybalt
Two Great Grandmothers, my Grandfather, and two years working in convalescent homes and terminal hospices. Do I qualify to have an opinion now?

Perhaps clueless was too mild a term. I'm looking for a word that combines a shallow vacancy of humanity with the quality of taking pleasure in deliberately inflicting emotional pain on someone who is already obviously suffering. That would be how I would describe those slamming Sherral in this thread.
Tybalt-I've only really seen one post that MIGHT be considered slamming. Calling other people clueless could also be considered slamming by some. I myself am not clueless. I hear the stories my husband brings home every day and i've visited there on a reg basis as well. Your right Dementia is a very sad thing,90% of the people who are in my dh care home have it. They've pretty much lost their minds. They turn from gentle caring people to people who are abusive and are always so lost. Very sad
I just hope that in my old age i never have to go through that.
 

lau77

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
May 1, 2003
Messages
159
Purraise
1
Location
New Jersey
When parents get old they are a burden but to be happy and cheering thats is just mean and sad. when you were little who took care of you your parents. When parents get old it is our turn to take care of them. Thats how it goes the stuff she says she dosent mean it. I was very upset and angry when i read this post. That grownups are excited about this that isnt right at all im so discusted
 

kimward34

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 5, 2002
Messages
2,308
Purraise
12
Location
Florida, USA
Originally posted by lau77
When parents get old they are a burden but to be happy and cheering thats is just mean and sad. when you were little who took care of you your parents. When parents get old it is our turn to take care of them. Thats how it goes the stuff she says she dosent mean it. I was very upset and angry when i read this post. That grownups are excited about this that isnt right at all im so discusted
WHOA Wendy ! What exactly are you disgusted by?
Nursing Homes?
 

lau77

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
May 1, 2003
Messages
159
Purraise
1
Location
New Jersey
No i am disgusted by people being happy and cheering that the poor women is in the nursing home. Thats not right
 

kimward34

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 5, 2002
Messages
2,308
Purraise
12
Location
Florida, USA
Originally posted by lau77
No i am disgusted by people being happy and cheering that the poor women is in the nursing home. Thats not right
Um, If you go back and read this thread carefully, it's clear that no one is happy and cheering about this.

 

lau77

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
May 1, 2003
Messages
159
Purraise
1
Location
New Jersey
Originally posted by DragonLady
:rainbow:
:kitty5:
:rainbow: :kitty5:
Whoooooo hooooo!
oh no peopl arent happy what is this and the first post she says yes yes yes she is gone i know it is hard but dont post it and have people cheer and be happy for you.
 
Top