Need advice

Sorry for my English, it is not my native language and I don't have many occasion to write in it. (:

Few months ago a friend of mine asked for help. There was a homeless cat walking around her workplace for few weeks trying to find food and she asked if I could catch it and keep it in my house. (my cat died from old age about half a year ago and she thought it is about time for me to give home to another one)

First of all, there were quite a few people trying to catch this cat, but no one had any success and possibly made it even more fearful. This cat never came closer than 5-10meters to any person and ran as fast as possible if he saw anyone moving to his direction.

After a month of trying to at least get attention from it we had no success, as this cat would never show itself up for eating if someone was around even if far away. Because of the fear, he was always having lack of food and he was getting skinnier every day. As weather started getting worse and people who gave him some food leftover moved out, we took a net and managed to catch it.

Now when I brought it home I read a lot of articles on how to act with such a fearful wild cat but none of the articles really helped. In 2 months of trying to make him cozy in home the only achievement is that I can be in the same room and cat wont growl...still, he is shaking and trying to hide most of the time.

Every night from 1 to 7 he is meowing and purring at the same time loudly and I have no idea why. One person good at feral cats said to me that this is the way to attract attention, but just as he sees me he runs away and growls, so that's not the case. It is becoming a problem as I haven't slept for days just because he is meowing so loudly.
Recently he changed his usual hiding spot and started spending days in his litter box. It is quite a problem because cleaning it became complicated. His eating sessions happen very rarely too (if its most expensive cat food or fresh chicken he either never eats it or waits till I'm away atleast for an hour).

I just wanted to ask if there is a way to show him I mean no harm? I mean most of website who give advices on feral cat petting say to allow him to come to you and make the first move. This one will obviously never work as after 2 months he just got worse on socializing part. Maybe there are some tricks which I couldn't find? Maybe I should start touching him regardless of his hissing to show him I won't cause pain? I really need an advice because he does act like a home cat when he is alone and he won't survive in the wild himself but at the same time his not moving all day and eating few times a week habit won't be comfortable for both of us.

I do understand patience is the key to this, but at this rate he will slowly fall into deep depression if he is not already

Welcome to TCS, gosumd.

Your english is excellent, you really didn't need to apologize! We have many members for whom english is not their native language.

Such a wonderful thing, to want to help this cat!

Do you know how old the kitty is? Are there vets available where you live? Has the kitty been seen by a vet? Is he neutered? Has he been treated for any parasites (fleas or internal parasites)?

Socializing a true older feral is a long process - and I'm sorry to say, but your concerns are not misplaced. A cat that has lived on its own for many years may not be happy inside. But that doesn't mean you should give up on this cat by any means.

Do you live some place where it would be possible to build him an outdoor enclosure? Especially one where he can choose to be either indoors or outdoors (some way to attach it to the house so he can go in and out on his own?)

So much of this really depends upon the age of the cat. I've asked one of our most experienced rescuers to read your post, and I'm sure she'll check in at some point.

But basically the process of socialization - especially with older cats that have no experience with people - is one of patience, as you say. It helps to spend as much time in the same room as the kitty, but doing anything other than trying to interact with the cat. Read out loud, write, sing, fold laundry, do whatever you can in there so he can see you and get used to you.

It also REALLY helps to do as much as possible on a schedule at the same times every day. If he is allowed to free feed, then provide one or two meals a day of special meals - wet cat food, or plain boiled chicken. The schedule helps him to understand that you mean good things for him.

But if the cat is older than 3 or 4 years, it may be too difficult for the cat to adjust to being inside.

I would get him neutered and let him go. You can't ask a cat to adjust to living inside when it makes him so unhappy to do so. You are looking at a long process of socialization, and yes, you can reach this cat but at what cost to him? Get him neutered, let him go and be sure you provide ample shelter, food and water for him outside to make it easier for him to survive. Is it the best thing to do? Probably not, but continuing to hold him captive will just increase his stress and yours and he will start getting ill and then what?

Welcome to the site. Your English is excellent. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with this cat. I admire you for trying to help. I agree that the first thing you should do is to try to get it neutered/spayed if you can even catch the cat to take him to the vet. If you have a lot of time and patience this may work, but I have to agree with Hissy that he sounds extremely unhappy and the most humane thing to do is to let him stay outside if you are able to provide food and water for him and some little house/enclosure to have some shelter.