I mentioned in the Thanksgiving thread that my aunt is in a nursing home. These past few months have been stressful, between what's going on with my dad and then my aunt, too. She has fallen several times now and has broken her hip (with an operation to insert three pins in her hip) and has now fractured her pelvis in two places. She is also in mid-dementia and doesn't make a lot of sense anymore when I visit with her. But that's OK....I sit down with her and listen to her babble (I'm sorry, but that's pretty much what it is). I won't go into detail about her and what she says because it is dementia and that's all there is to it.
Anyway, there is no way she can go back to her apartment. It's impossible. She cannot take care of herself. So my sister and I are the ones who are going to have to tear down her apartment and get rid of things.
There are some things that I would like to have: primarily kitchen-type things. Old spice containers, her cookie cutters, rolling pins, things like that. I want them because they were hers....I do not want to sell them. I have my grandmother's old things as well and I love them simply b/c they were grandma's. My aunt also has a bell collection, which she always told me was to become mine. There are some other things, too, not really worth anything, but worth sentimental value to me.
The problem is that I feel like I'm stealing from her! She has not passed on or anything, but again, there's no way she'll ever leave the nursing home. She will never use these things again. I tried to take some of her more personal knick-knacks and pictures and put them in her room at the home, but she just got very upset....she wants to go home. She cannot.
I talked to my sister about giving her money for these things. But again, she doesn't need any money....she can't spend any money because she can't go anywhere. I pay for her to have her hair done every other week; the beautician comes into the home and does sets, perms, haircuts, etc. for the residents. We both have power-of-attorney for her and we have paid her bills as they've come in....we've been very careful to leave a good paper trail in case somebody were to ask questions about what we're doing.
We have to tear down the apartment; the lease runs out at the end of the year and we've already told the landlord that we're not renewing. What we don't get rid of, we're going to have to store in a rented space or something....and that seems like a waste of money, too.
Is it stealing? I feel guilty about taking her things. But, she's always told me that these are things I'm supposed to have....she wants them to be used. I've never had to deal with anything like this. Any ideas? Thanks.
Anyway, there is no way she can go back to her apartment. It's impossible. She cannot take care of herself. So my sister and I are the ones who are going to have to tear down her apartment and get rid of things.
There are some things that I would like to have: primarily kitchen-type things. Old spice containers, her cookie cutters, rolling pins, things like that. I want them because they were hers....I do not want to sell them. I have my grandmother's old things as well and I love them simply b/c they were grandma's. My aunt also has a bell collection, which she always told me was to become mine. There are some other things, too, not really worth anything, but worth sentimental value to me.
The problem is that I feel like I'm stealing from her! She has not passed on or anything, but again, there's no way she'll ever leave the nursing home. She will never use these things again. I tried to take some of her more personal knick-knacks and pictures and put them in her room at the home, but she just got very upset....she wants to go home. She cannot.
I talked to my sister about giving her money for these things. But again, she doesn't need any money....she can't spend any money because she can't go anywhere. I pay for her to have her hair done every other week; the beautician comes into the home and does sets, perms, haircuts, etc. for the residents. We both have power-of-attorney for her and we have paid her bills as they've come in....we've been very careful to leave a good paper trail in case somebody were to ask questions about what we're doing.
We have to tear down the apartment; the lease runs out at the end of the year and we've already told the landlord that we're not renewing. What we don't get rid of, we're going to have to store in a rented space or something....and that seems like a waste of money, too.
Is it stealing? I feel guilty about taking her things. But, she's always told me that these are things I'm supposed to have....she wants them to be used. I've never had to deal with anything like this. Any ideas? Thanks.
