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I just want to cry - Page 2

post #31 of 44
11/14/10 at 4:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
My parents aren't supporting us, I think I made that clear in my initial post, but that's really neither here nor there IMO. I see no difference between pets and children, natural or adopted, and I THOUGHT that was part of the way I was raised - which is why this kind of blind-sided me. Both are commitments for life. I have an adopted daughter. I wouldn't put her up for adoption to someone else because I can't afford her care.

I find your position on this really sad.
I did know from your post that your parents were not supporting you. For that reason I felt your mother was out of line to say what she did. I understand how you feel about your cats. I love mine too, but I don't put them in the same category as I do my grandchildren. I would never want to give my cats up, but I wouldn't expect someone else to volunteer to feed them for me. That is all I meant.
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post #32 of 44
11/14/10 at 4:54pm
Thread Starter 
Blueyed girl, I understand what you meant. You don't put pets in the same category as children or grandchildren. If your children need help, you're willing to help them and your grandchildren - but not their pets. You're willing to help people through hard times, not animals. You draw the line there. I understand that. Many people feel this way. I find it very sad.
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post #33 of 44
11/14/10 at 5:01pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by otto View Post
I know what you mean. I was once told in a vicious PM (not this forum) that the writer wished I would poison all my cats so she didn't have to hear about them in the forum any more.

Even considering the source I was so shocked and hurt by that, just the idea of any kind of violence coming to my cats, I don't think I've gotten over it yet.

{{hugs}}
I totally understand! How horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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post #34 of 44
11/14/10 at 5:02pm
Thread Starter 
I should write to tell her thank goodness we didn't decide to have eight human children - how much would THAT be costing?
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post #35 of 44
11/14/10 at 5:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkiddoglady View Post
Your mom perhaps had her heart in the right place.. thinking that a few less mouths to feed would be less of a strain on your finances. While the cats are important to you, she was more concerned about your welfare.

She may have thought that you've managed to get other cats rescued and adopted out, that you should have no problems getting a few of your own adopted out.

Perhaps she did not think or consider all of the luxuries that you are no longer able to do. You pointed that out to her, and hopefully she will have a new perspective on it.

Dont let her suggestion bother you. Only you and your husband can decide whats best for your situation. Everyone has their own opinions and ideas.. but they dont know everything that goes on in your life.
Very well said!
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post #36 of 44
11/14/10 at 5:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
Blueyed girl, I understand what you meant. You don't put pets in the same category as children or grandchildren. If your children need help, you're willing to help them and your grandchildren - but not their pets. You're willing to help people through hard times, not animals. You draw the line there. I understand that. Many people feel this way. I find it very sad.
Goodness gracious I think it's terribly sad too. I don't want to get too much into the discussion on that but my pets come first, they are entirely dependent on me so why wouldn't they be first?

Hmm Laurie I just had a vision of you, Gary, 8 kids and all the cats in the RV....
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post #37 of 44
11/14/10 at 6:00pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats View Post
Hmm Laurie I just had a vision of you, Gary, 8 kids and all the cats in the RV....
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Thankfully we lived in a house when we adopted Naomi.
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post #38 of 44
11/14/10 at 6:31pm
I am sorry for your hard times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
You're willing to help people through hard times, not animals. You draw the line there. I understand that. Many people feel this way.
And this is another reason why shelters are full. When times get tough, animals are the first beings to be neglected by most of society.
My DH and I lost our jobs at one point when the companies went totally under and so big changes had to happen, we cut our own food bill by well over half, lost the cable, sold a lot of stuff, basically made drastic changes in all areas, but never once did we consider abandoning our animals, feeding them a lesser food, or neglecting their care. I understand that is not the norm.
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post #39 of 44
11/14/10 at 7:05pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by cococat View Post
And this is another reason why shelters are full. When times get tough, animals are the first beings to be neglected by most of society.

My DH and I lost our jobs at one point when the companies went totally under and so big changes had to happen, we cut our own food bill by well over half, lost the cable, sold a lot of stuff, basically made drastic changes in all areas, but never once did we consider abandoning our animals, feeding them a lesser food, or neglecting their care. I understand that is not the norm.
I figure most of us here at TCS aren't the norm.

Yup, before we made the decision to move back into the RV, we did the same. In fact, moving back into the RV was partly a financial decision, and partly one due to Gary's health issues (much easier to care for than a house on several acres!!!).

I did hear back from my mom. She did say that just how much we've given up because of Gary's health issues hadn't occurred to her - at least not when looking at it like that. She was under the impression we're still struggling with kitty health issues, and was looking at it more from a stress perspective than a financial one.

I do have to chuckle to myself at that one - like rehoming an 8 year old cat with health and/or behavior issues is even possible. Chum's here because the only other option was death.

Her heart's in the right place, and I do appreciate that.

Thank you all for listening, for sharing, and for understanding!
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post #40 of 44
11/14/10 at 7:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
I did hear back from my mom.
Your mom sounds so special, you are so lucky
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post #41 of 44
11/14/10 at 7:39pm
i'm 52 and my DH is 62. it took my mom who's the best in the world almost 20 years to realize that the only grandkids she was getting from her oldest daughter were going to be furry. i'm german and now when i call her sundays she usually asks me how the 9 grandkids are doing.
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post #42 of 44
11/14/10 at 8:49pm
I SO understand how you feel. I got my love of cats from my mother, but she'd probably say the same thing your mom did.

We are in a very crappy financial situation right now, and I often find myself thinking "what if" we lost this house (God forbid!) - what would happen to the cats? I'd die before I'd give 'em up.

No one (especially my husband) feels quite the same way...
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post #43 of 44
11/15/10 at 8:24am
Laurie, your Mom meant well--I know she did. I can't believe she meant her remarks to be cruel, she seemed to be thinking about what she thought would be best for you and Gary.
I'm sure you and your Mom will be able to work this out.
(((big hugs))) to you and Gary and all your furry kids.
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post #44 of 44
11/15/10 at 9:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by cococat View Post
I am sorry for your hard times.

And this is another reason why shelters are full. When times get tough, animals are the first beings to be neglected by most of society.
My DH and I lost our jobs at one point when the companies went totally under and so big changes had to happen, we cut our own food bill by well over half, lost the cable, sold a lot of stuff, basically made drastic changes in all areas, but never once did we consider abandoning our animals, feeding them a lesser food, or neglecting their care. I understand that is not the norm.
This is exactly the way pet owners should be willing to sacrifice for their pets. I would do the same thing. I haven't had a job in years, but I would clean houses, baby sit, scrub toilets, whatever it takes to feed my cats. I would never give them up. If someone volunteered to give me assistance, yes, I would take their cat food or money. Would I expect it no. Some folks just don't understand how much cat owners are committed to their cats.
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