Thoughts needed...

I know better than to think people here are going to scream “Donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t do it!†but I need to run an idea by someone.

Since we lost Cotton, thereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s been a gap in our family. I know nothing can ever replace my big buddy, and I certainly donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t intend to do that, but the vibe in the house still feels like somethingâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s missing. Sybil and Freya are getting along better than weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d hoped and Sybil is a sweetie, even if weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re pretty sure sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s not too bright, but even with her, thereâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a noticeable lack of what DH and I call “Snuggly Cat.†Freya cuddles on her own terms. Always has, always will. Sybil cuddles a bit but has the attention span of a Tasmanian devil, so rarely stays in one place very long and DH and I both miss having a TV or book or video game (or anything you do while sitting on the couch) companion.

This has led us to talk about getting a third cat. Weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d accepted the reality of a third cat when we decided to keep Sybil while Cotton was still with us. Weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re comfortable with the added cost (heck, weâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d already accepted it) and seeing how quickly Freyaâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s adapted to Sybil, we think sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d be okay with a non-dominant, cat–friendly male…a bit older than Sybil so not as crazy.

I guess Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m just wondering what people think. Do I sound crazy? Does this sound selfish? Am I making a problem where there isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t one?

I don't think this sounds crazy or selfish at all. Just the opposite, in fact. You've taken all the practicalities and needs of the other cats into consideration, which is a positive thing. The bond you had with Cotton is obvious, and it truly seems like you're ready to open your heart to another kitty. That's a good thing.

You are not crazy or selfish. My cats are snuggly on their own terms. When I lost my pomeranian Sophie . I got another pom because I miss have the snuggles and something furry on my lap. You now know 3 kitties can work in your home. If you can afford it and it makes you happy , you should do it

I say go for it. My my most favorite cat was brutally killed the shock of the entire matter well though we had three other cats none were really "mine" like Sheba was. Six weeks ( and now a bit over 6 years ago) I "rescued Bakker from a home run animal shelter/cat rescue. He helped me quite a bit in my grieving process. He wasn't what I thought I was looking for but he turned out to be the right fit.

Just don't be in a hurry and take the time to find a good match for you and your family (human & fur).

I think it's a great idea to open your home to another cat. Just remember that he may not turn out to be a lap cat... but for your sake, I hope he is!!

I have a tendancy to take on cats without even considering cost, etc
Our oldest cat Allie (3 years) was my mom's idea when we spotted her at a pet store & i got stuck with her! She's a good cat though. LOVES to sit with you/sleep with you so long as you dont touch her.
We also have her son Simon (2 years) who's the biggest nancy boy i've ever seen! Pretty sure he's never touched a mouse/bird in his life! Does nothing but sleep & eat, though he does like to cuddle.
Now we have Pumpkin who was a stray Manx kitten i took in 2 weeks ago. Rotten little fart!

The one thing with your situation is that if you want a cuddly cat you really have to look for a full grown cat that's already cuddly & loves people. By getting a kitten, you're taking the chance that it won't be as cuddly as you'd like when it gets older & you'll be right back where you started.

Of course, I say go for it. I'm all for responsible people adopting. You should probably try for a confirmed snuggler, since there is no way of predicting unless someone knows the cat personally. I love my cats, but they are not snugglers. It's something I really miss. Oh, and you're not selfish at all! Quite the opposite...I think adopting is a selfless act, even though you'll benefit just as much as the cat.

Thanks guys.

I'd look at going through the same rescue Cotton came from. The cats are all fostered and, in Cotton's case at least, his foster dad gave us plenty of information and a good description of what Cotton would need to thrive. They were also completely up-front about Cotton's on-going dental issues and the cost that would create for us.

I'd definitely look for an adult. Sybil's about all the kitten we can handle.

I just wanted to talk this out a bit before bringing it up to DH - again. We have a few things that we agree have to be done before adding a cat: 1. Sybil must be spayed; 2. The basement reno needs to be finished; 3. The muffler on DH's car needs to be fixed...well, Sybil goes in for her spay tomorrow, the basement should be done this weekend and DH is booking the car in next week so...

The plan is to try and time bringing a new cat in when I go on vacation in December - I have 3 weeks off so I can be home to supervise introductions and make sure things go as smoothly as possible.

I can be perfectly logical about so many things but when it comes to emotional matters (like my cats), I'm never really sure I trust myself and tend to over-think things.

Originally Posted by Ms. Freya

...
The plan is to try and time bringing a new cat in when I go on vacation in December - I have 3 weeks off so I can be home to supervise introductions and make sure things go as smoothly as possible....

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PERFECT! Sounds like an excellent plan, things WILL go smoothly with you being home those 3 weeks off!

I took in 3rd cat (stray) last year, with having only 2 cats for 10 years..I was so worried I did the wrong thing, as my Dave and Lilly were seniors (10-ish and 12-ish), and this stray (Jake) is a young 2 yr.old buck, full of spit and vinegar!! But it has worked out, and they get along (for the most part lol), and I'm glad I adopted a needing 3rd, and it turned out great in the long run..

Good luck to you

P.s. as far as snuggling, newcomer Jake was so not at first, but as I type, and as month after month goes by, he is slowly starting to sit on my lap, demanding rub downs and scratches, he is morphing into a snuggler!

Originally Posted by Ms. Freya

Since we lost ..., there’s been a gap in our family. I know nothing can ever replace my big buddy, and I certainly don’t intend to do that, but the vibe in the house still feels like something’s missing.

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This is why I got my recent pet. I love a certain breed and think they do best in pairs male/female. When we suffered a hard loss, after some time it was apparent we needed another, not as a replacement, as this pet can never and will never be replaced, but to complete our family. We also factored in cost which is significant for us so it took some planning and waiting for the right fit new family member. There was also the issue of good timing, which eventually did work out. Even though I still terribly miss my pet who passed away I couldn't be happier with the recent addition and know getting another pet was the right choice for our household.

Originally Posted by nurseangel

Of course, I say go for it. I'm all for responsible people adopting. You should probably try for a confirmed snuggler, since there is no way of predicting unless someone knows the cat personally. I love my cats, but they are not snugglers. It's something I really miss. Oh, and you're not selfish at all! Quite the opposite...I think adopting is a selfless act, even though you'll benefit just as much as the cat.

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exactly

Awww hun, you know I'm going to say go for it! It's not selfish at all! You'll be giving a needy baby a forever home! That's such a wonderful thing. Wishing you the best of luck in your seach for the lucky baby who gets to share a forever home with you.

Good luck in your search. Cotton will most likely see to it that the proper cat Chooses you.

Originally Posted by otto

Good luck in your search. Cotton

will most likely see to it that the proper cat Chooses you.

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I agree!

Originally Posted by otto

Good luck in your search. Cotton

will most likely see to it that the proper cat Chooses you.

Click to expand...

I agree, too! When a baby has passed on, I believe that he or she will do everything they can to make sure that the right kitty finds you. It may take awhile, but it will work out. My GF likes to tell me that The Paw works in strange ways sometimes. I believe that. Good luck with your search for your baby.

I don't believe it is selfish at all. I am debating rescuing a second cat once I move out on my own. And part of the reason is I feel like something is missing and partly because I work such long hours I don't want Pixie to be lonely when I am at work.