Taking Advantage of Cat Lovers

I mean no disrespect to anyone, but I have to get this off my chest. Forgive me to being long-winded. but once I get started it may be hard to shut up!!
When Bella left my world--I didn't want another cat for a while. Then this situation with Emmy was 'brought" to my attention. The point was made perfectly clear that she was going to be PTS is she couldn't find a home. Out of my love for cats I offered to bring her into my home. OK I'm fine with that although it hasn't been easy. Unfortunately I'm friends with another woman who is also a friend of Emmy's ex-owner.
She KNOWS how it breaks my heart to hear of a cat in trouble! She also knows how I'm grieving over Bella and the stress over Genesis and now the struggle with Emma!! Yet, 2 hours ago she had the nerve to e-mail me asking me to take another cat!! Her neighbor's son passed away and left behind an 11 year old female.
I'm dumbfounded by her attitude--An unwanted cat? Oh, Cheryl will take it!!! This isn't something that has just begun happening recently. It becomes a problem whenever anyone finds out I'm a cat lover!! If I could take every unwanted cat into my life I WOULD!! As a matter of fact I have!! All the cats I've loved and lost were unwanted by someone else!! It takes such an emotional toll on my heart because i love them so deeply!
I feel, many times, that people "try" to take advantage of me because I'm a cat lover.
I sent a harsh reply to her. "I'm not a shelter. I can't help this cat or any cat you want me to take. If his parents can't care for their son's beloved elderly cat then call Cats' Haven (a no-kill shelter) or find info on fostering" It just reached the boiling point with me. The stress of Bella and Genesis and now Emma has just caused me to explode!! I'm tired of it!!

I understand you perfectly.... A friend asked for help with a foster situation which i gladly did ... Next thing I know every one with a unwanted cat thought I would take it ...

Was she asking just for the sake of asking(first thing any shelter/rescue tells you when trying to rehome a cat- Ask EVERYONE you know.

I have taken my share of cats from friends/family, but then again I ama stay at home mom to the cats And moneys an issue to a point but I know I spend alot less on my gang then I know some ppl do with half the amount I have so I take that into consideration.

Could email her back saying maybe you(the lady) would be interested...if you have no cats perfect if have a few and worried about them interacting send them here to learn...just a thought before the cats doomed to a shelter maybe take some time to look into area rescues if you have some free time

I'm sorry you've been put in such a position. It breaks our hearts, we want to save every one. But we can't. You've saved Emma, that's your limit. I know how much it hurt you to turn down that other cat. But you have to think of yourself and Emma, and it would not be the right thing for you to do, for Emma or for you.

Maybe this lady will end up taking in her neighbor's son's cat. So I'll say a little prayer for that kitty, anyway, that something nice happens for her. It's such a shame people don't think to make contingency plans for their pets.

{{hugs}}

Aw sweetie, I'm sorry. I think Otto said it perfectly. And as this person knows the situation, it's really just thoughtless.

This has happened to me many times also. It makes me mad and breaks my heart. Once someone asked me to take a cat because he needed a low cost vet procedure (or she would have him PTS). I told her we couldn't take another cat and feel guilty about it to this day! She has probably long since forgotten the cat, but I remember. I wish I could save all of them.

This happens all the time and if you say no, then they give you this long, sad story about the cat and what it has to endure, or they blame you saying if you don't take the cat it will be dropped off at the shelter. Or try to give you a guilt trip saying stuff like "what is one more cat?" A senior cat at that is going to have a difficult time being placed anywhere. Poor kitty- all that stuff is tried.

What you can do is have a list of resources near your phone so when the calls come you have alternative suggestions. Call the local vets and find out if there is anyone they know who rescues independently or privately- the girls in the office would know. Then call that person and talk to them and see if they are open to having their contact information given out during these types of situations.

Here are some links that might help when this situation comes up:

http://www.rescuers.com/

http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/...nizations.html

http://www.your-pets.com/pet-resourc...helters/5116/1

Also try and find those in your area who do rescue, have one meeting a month and exchange information and phone numbers. With cell phones now in the picture many are willing to exchange phone numbers because it doesn't trace back to their location.

Good luck you ol softie!

This happened to me last week, on Facebook of all places! A friend said something along the lines of, "I see you love kitties and there are 2 roaming that were abandoned. Can you take them?" I sweetly replied that I couldn't because I was at capacity. Ugh!

Thanks guys! And thanks a lot hissy for the links!!! I started to feel guilty as soon as I sent the email. But I'm fine now. She won't take the cat because she already has a cat!! Well, so do I.
Alot of the anger comes from the fact that people don't make plan for their animals in case of their death. So the animal has to suffer the loss of a loved one and the pain of being thrown away!!

Originally Posted by hissy

This happens all the time and if you say no, then they give you this long, sad story about the cat and what it has to endure, or they blame you saying if you don't take the cat it will be dropped off at the shelter. Or try to give you a guilt trip saying stuff like "what is one more cat?" A senior cat at that is going to have a difficult time being placed anywhere. Poor kitty- all that stuff is tried.

What you can do is have a list of resources near your phone so when the calls come you have alternative suggestions. Call the local vets and find out if there is anyone they know who rescues independently or privately- the girls in the office would know. Then call that person and talk to them and see if they are open to having their contact information given out during these types of situations.

Here are some links that might help when this situation comes up:

http://www.rescuers.com/

http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/...nizations.html

http://www.your-pets.com/pet-resourc...helters/5116/1

Also try and find those in your area who do rescue, have one meeting a month and exchange information and phone numbers. With cell phones now in the picture many are willing to exchange phone numbers because it doesn't trace back to their location.

Good luck you ol softie!

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Terrific advice!

Oh Cheryl, I know EXACTLY how you feel! I am literally shocked if a week goes by without someone giving me a sob storey or tries to pawn a cat off on me! Even my own family does it!

Surprise was dropped off on our doorstep by a woman who said someone gave her our address and said we take in cats! NO, we foster for the shelter!

We took Chance in after a woman at work gave me the guilt trip for weeks.

Guido was a guilt trip from my own Grandmother, who then tried to get me to take in 2 more kittens a few days later! I had to say no. I do know my limits, as much as I would love to help them all.

I feel like I'm taken advantage of constantly, and it is making me a VERY bitter person.

I took a starving kitten from a customer of mine. She claimed she found it and didn't know what to do with it. Then about a week later, she showed up again at my job and we chatted a bit. After she left, I went outside to get something out of my car (it was pouring rain) and this little kitten comes mewing up to me and jumps in my car! What are the odds? The next time I saw her (again at work) she came in right at closing and when I went out to lock down the shop, there was a cardboard box in the bushes and you guessed it- kittens inside! sigh......

When she came into the store again much later- I backed her into a corner and put the fear of God into her telling her if she did this to me again, she was going to be sorry! She broke down in tears and said that she "rescues" but she is full up and she heard that I rescue as well! I did rescue, but I HATE sneak attacks!

People can be so mean and manipulative. I almost want to run when someone starts a conversation by saying "I heard you like cats...." Because I've found out the hard way it isn't because they like cats and want to swap cute stories.

Why does this surprise you? They are hoping to find the cat a good home. You are a known good home, maybe the only they even know of. I also have gotten offered many pets over the years but I never seriously consider unless I have the resources and space (I also have strict limits, 1 cat, 3-4 dogs max). It might be good if you do some research to help direct these people where to go with their animals

Where I live there's a few hundred trailers, but only 3 places(including mine) that I know cats go to for help. It's so frustrating because I'm taxed beyond my limits right now. We've fallen on hard times and so few others are willing to take up the slack. There's a lot of hard hearts out there, and a LOT of denial. As long as they don't have to see kitties being killed just for being unlucky enough to fall into a bad situation, they don't think twice about it. Probably the first and most critical step we can do as cat lovers is to keep getting the word out that indifference on the part of the average citizen now only leads to more cats breeding, but more being killed. You would think after so many years of euthanasia not fixing the problem, the powers that be would try more creative solutions. Unfortunately it seems that's not going to happen until they are forced to see it.

You are perfectly right in your feelings about this situation, I would've sent an email back to her also. I have one cat and I have reasons for having one cat. I understand you've been through a lot lately and you certainly didn't need this. Don't let it bother you, some people just don't get it.

I take many many picture of my cats, and post them on my facebook. Unfortunately, it lets people know even more that I am a cat lover. I have had 5 people in the last 3 months ask me to take cats for them. All had different reasons, one was moving and couldnt take their car, one found a stray, one was feeding a stray and another had a cat that had kittens....It was too much!
We have 9 cats....two are rescues we are trying to find homes for! I stay home and do daycare in my home...and we just cannot take any more cats, at all. Not only can we not afford to care for them but we have to think about Billy's needs as a blind kitten and his adjustment periods to new things. I hated telling people no but I can't physically take another addition.
It is even worse though, when my own HUSBAND asks me to bring in another cat. We have been feeding a stray outside for the last month or so. The past week, DH has gotten it into his head that he can bring the cat inside and find it a home. I HAD to say no. I feel bad...but we simply can't! We made it a bed in our shed, have straw, food, blankets and such to keep it warm, are insulating an old dog house for it to sleep in...but no one in my area wants cats. So many people are trying to find homes for cats, heck even us! I just don't know what to even do about him wanting to bring this cat in! Money doesn't grow on trees and we are maxed out at even affording the last two cats that we ended up taking in. People just don't get it! (sorry for the vent...I am also frustrated!)
You are completely right in feeling the way you do. Try not to feel bad about not being able to take any more in. You need to put your own kitties welfare above others, and especially your own feelings with having recently lost your own cat.

I get the same thing - people are always offering me cats left and right I have three as it is, that's mine & hubby's limit right now. I took in a cat for someone once, and she's since asked me to take another! Ugh. It stinks people try and guilt you with the sad story of what will happen, to convince you to go outside your comfort zone to pick up someone elses' pieces.