She crossed the bridge today.
She hadn't ate on her own much in several days and I just couldn't take force feeding her. She was also looking a little yellow so her liver might have started to fail despite my best efforts. She was also having trouble breathing, well worse than it had been. She hadn't used the litter box since at least 4 PM yesterday(she might have gone a tiny bit in the kitchen box) so her kidneys were likely going as well.
She was suffering and it was finally time. I called and told them I needed to take her in to be put to sleep.
She was shaking in the vet's office because I was so worked up. They put a catheter in her arm and the sedative make her fall asleep and once they got the final shot in her I held her in my arms until she passed. It took everything I had not to run out of the room but I couldn't let her die alone.
Bobby is horribly upset, I obviously dropped him off with my parents before going to the vet. Maybe I shouldn't have given him a chance to say goodbye and only told him after she was gone. He said that he was glad I gave him a chance to say goodbye. My parents are as always being jerks. They never said they were sorry, at least my ex-MIL(mother-in-law) said she was sorry. Paul and I are upset. Bobby made me feel worse not wanting her to die and asking if there wasn't anything they could do to make her better. His pain makes me feel even worse.
I let Nuts inspect Attitude's body, he sniffed her, groomed her and tried pawing at her paw. I hope this didn't do more harm than good.
We dug a hole in the outside cats' favorite basking spot in the sun and laid her to rest there. She'll never be far from her family now since they enjoy basking in the sun there. Mama was already basking there and rolling around in the dirt. I feel better about that.
I'm still mad, mad at the stupid &*^*^ up the street for not taking care of her cat and her cat(who is blameless, this isn't the cat's fault) spreading it around, mad at my parents for being insensitive, mad at this disease, it's just all so unfair, she was only around 17 months old, the same age as Nuts.
I want revenge, I want to go up the street and hurt/kill that &*^*^ up the street. I want her to hurt and suffer the way her cat did and Attitude did. I won't because that would serve no good, she wouldn't get it anyways and I'm not going to jail over her, Nuts and Paul still need me. Bobby my biological baby needs me, he's only 8. I feel like Attitude was also a tribute to her cat, Attitude died in the arms of her loving owner and was lovingly buried. Flo(the Siamese) I'm assuming died alone and scared in the woods.
I tried my hardest but I still failed her, I couldn't fix her and/or make her better. I lost my baby.
Taryn
She hadn't ate on her own much in several days and I just couldn't take force feeding her. She was also looking a little yellow so her liver might have started to fail despite my best efforts. She was also having trouble breathing, well worse than it had been. She hadn't used the litter box since at least 4 PM yesterday(she might have gone a tiny bit in the kitchen box) so her kidneys were likely going as well.
She was suffering and it was finally time. I called and told them I needed to take her in to be put to sleep.
She was shaking in the vet's office because I was so worked up. They put a catheter in her arm and the sedative make her fall asleep and once they got the final shot in her I held her in my arms until she passed. It took everything I had not to run out of the room but I couldn't let her die alone.
Bobby is horribly upset, I obviously dropped him off with my parents before going to the vet. Maybe I shouldn't have given him a chance to say goodbye and only told him after she was gone. He said that he was glad I gave him a chance to say goodbye. My parents are as always being jerks. They never said they were sorry, at least my ex-MIL(mother-in-law) said she was sorry. Paul and I are upset. Bobby made me feel worse not wanting her to die and asking if there wasn't anything they could do to make her better. His pain makes me feel even worse.
I let Nuts inspect Attitude's body, he sniffed her, groomed her and tried pawing at her paw. I hope this didn't do more harm than good.
We dug a hole in the outside cats' favorite basking spot in the sun and laid her to rest there. She'll never be far from her family now since they enjoy basking in the sun there. Mama was already basking there and rolling around in the dirt. I feel better about that.
I'm still mad, mad at the stupid &*^*^ up the street for not taking care of her cat and her cat(who is blameless, this isn't the cat's fault) spreading it around, mad at my parents for being insensitive, mad at this disease, it's just all so unfair, she was only around 17 months old, the same age as Nuts.
I want revenge, I want to go up the street and hurt/kill that &*^*^ up the street. I want her to hurt and suffer the way her cat did and Attitude did. I won't because that would serve no good, she wouldn't get it anyways and I'm not going to jail over her, Nuts and Paul still need me. Bobby my biological baby needs me, he's only 8. I feel like Attitude was also a tribute to her cat, Attitude died in the arms of her loving owner and was lovingly buried. Flo(the Siamese) I'm assuming died alone and scared in the woods.
I tried my hardest but I still failed her, I couldn't fix her and/or make her better. I lost my baby.
Taryn
