Hard decision

It was great to be able to get some feedback and nice words from you guys.

For those who haven't seen my previous post, I have a 18 year old cat. We've been in and out of the vet's office for over a year. She has:

Kidney disease
High blood pressure
Hyperthyroidism
Dental disease

She's also had:

Bacterial infections
Seizures

Since July, we've been going to the vet about every three weeks with a new crisis. This week, she was totally lethargic. The latest blood panel test also found that her red blood cells are extremely low, and something is fighting her immune system (her Bilirubin is extremely high). That explains the lethargy.

My options were to hospitalize her, run more tests to see if it was liver disease or an autoimmune disease/anemia. From there, more treatment that may or may not work.

I feel like I've pumped enough chemicals into my cat, and prodded her with enough needles. The vet acknowledges that the interaction of drugs she's on (thyroid, blood pressure, and, periodically, antibiotic) can cause/complicate some of these issues.

While she is lethargic, she is still eating, still purring, and still waiting at the door to go outside (and still coming to see me - she just joined me right now). She has a lower quality of life, but still some quality of life. But cats, as amazing as they are, don't show how much they are suffering.

It breaks me up emotionally to not seek the next "drug" solution. I know my cat has pulled off some miracles before, and I'm hoping it happens again. There are a couple of longshots to hope for, and I will hope for those. It is hard to do this, and if she were even four or five years younger, or didn't have all the other health issues going on, I'd certainly be doing whatever was available.

Oh hun, I am so sorry you are going through this right now. At her age, it sounds to me like it is time to let her go as hard as that will be. It is by far the most unselfish thing we can do for our furbabies.

Thanks Kailie! I know, I haven't quite gotten to the point of picking up the phone and going forward with that decision, but I know that's the right one.

My cat doesn't help any by being affectionate and the same sweet cat she has always been. But I don't want her to suffer, and I know I have to make decisions that are best for her (and not just for me).

Sometimes it's just time to say "enough" and let nature take its course. One of the members of TCS that's rescued quite a few kitties and has had to deal with losses of some of her older kitties calls it the "Love and Cheese Danish" treatment. Instead of worrying about special diets or whatever, when you reach that point, you just love on your kitty, cherish every day, and give her her special treat - whatever it is.

I'm so sorry.

for your baby.

I'm so sorry your girl is having so many problems. Letting them go is by far the worst part of loving them. I've heard many times on this board that helping them go a little too early is better than waiting a little too long.

You'll know when the time is right. I'll keep you both in my thoughts. I'm facing the same decision with one of mine soon and it hurts so, so much.

Thanks LDG and Jen! I definitely want nature to take its course, and to wait for the right time.

I think the low red blood cell issue makes my decision more imminent - her body attacking the blood cells and weakening her. Though tonight she suddenly seems (a little) more active, and is eating more vigorously. If the decline stays the same (or worsens) for the next few days, I will make the decision...

The toughest part of this aspect of sharing your life with a cat, is that sooner or later all of us face this time. Just please know that cats use purrs for other reasons besides to indicate they are happy. Purring is the first sound they hear and it is their comfort button. I have had wonderful, loving kitties in their twilight years purr the entire time they are receiving that final needle. If she is eating-able to use the litter pan and her eyes tell you that she still wants to be here- then that is wonderful. The worst part of this is once their pain ends, ours begins and it can be a long process before we are whole again.


hugs

In this hard time for you

Great advice. And I know seeking me out might be affection, but also might just be comfort. She is eating and using the litter pan; but she is tired. Intellectually I know, emotionally I resist.

She has been the sweetest, most considerate cat, and even in her last days continues to be that way. Makes it harder...

Originally Posted by hissy

The toughest part of this aspect of sharing your life with a cat, is that sooner or later all of us face this time. Just please know that cats use purrs for other reasons besides to indicate they are happy. Purring is the first sound they hear and it is their comfort button. I have had wonderful, loving kitties in their twilight years purr the entire time they are receiving that final needle. If she is eating-able to use the litter pan and her eyes tell you that she still wants to be here- then that is wonderful. The worst part of this is once their pain ends, ours begins and it can be a long process before we are whole again.


hugs

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My cat just came back and hopped on my lap, and is so content right now. This is really hard... Humans, unless they are receiving painkillers , aren't so affectionate when they are in pain.

Originally Posted by hissy

The toughest part of this aspect of sharing your life with a cat, is that sooner or later all of us face this time. Just please know that cats use purrs for other reasons besides to indicate they are happy. Purring is the first sound they hear and it is their comfort button. I have had wonderful, loving kitties in their twilight years purr the entire time they are receiving that final needle. If she is eating-able to use the litter pan and her eyes tell you that she still wants to be here- then that is wonderful. The worst part of this is once their pain ends, ours begins and it can be a long process before we are whole again.


hugs

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Very well said.

I think she'll tell you when it's time. It may not be YOUR time, as we always want more time with our cherished pets, but it will be her time.

Personally, I think that you're at that point where you just want her to be happy and live out the rest of her days at home in as little pain as possible. I think as a good pet owner, when the pet is knowingly suffering, it's time. Until then, cherish each day, each purr, each snuggle.

Thanks Stephanie! Great guidance...

Originally Posted by stephanietx

I think she'll tell you when it's time. It may not be YOUR time, as we always want more time with our cherished pets, but it will be her time.

Personally, I think that you're at that point where you just want her to be happy and live out the rest of her days at home in as little pain as possible. I think as a good pet owner, when the pet is knowingly suffering, it's time. Until then, cherish each day, each purr, each snuggle.

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duplicate....sorry!

Thanks everyone for supporting me last night. As everyone told me, when the time is right, the decision is pretty clear. Today my cat was no longer her normal affectionate self, weaker than usual, and wanting to be by herself. I knew. I called a vet who specializes in euthanizing pets, and we did it in the home. It was sad, but I realized that my cat left me last night, not at the moment of death. Though this gave me a chance to say goodbye to her, as the vet gave her pain medication...and I got to hear a few last purrs.

Anyway, I did want to say thanks, as I wanted to make the right decision, and hearing everyone's feedback helped.

Originally Posted by jay045

Thanks everyone for supporting me last night. As everyone told me, when the time is right, the decision is pretty clear. Today my cat was no longer her normal affectionate self, weaker than usual, and wanting to be by herself. I knew. I called a vet who specializes in euthanizing pets, and we did it in the home. It was sad, but I realized that my cat left me last night, not at the moment of death. Though this gave me a chance to say goodbye to her, as the vet gave her pain medication...and I got to hear a few last purrs.

Anyway, I did want to say thanks, as I wanted to make the right decision, and hearing everyone's feedback helped.

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I am so very sorry hun... You really DID make the right decision, as hard as it is. Many of us have been there. We're here for you.

Thanks Kallie!

I cried and cried last night and this morning, but right now I'm very much at peace with the decision and not nearly as broken up about it as I was before. She was in so much pain, and so aloof, which she never was when healthy. A couple of friends stopped by to say goodbye, and the vet was great. I got to have the cat sit on my lap in bed as the painkiller, and then anesthesia took effect. I got to see the pain leave my cat before she left this world. For a minute, she was brought back, as she really left this world last night, when she started wearing down even worse.

I'm sure it will hit me later (I loved, loved, loved my cat), but right now I just feel a sense of relief that she has had her pain relieved and can move on to whatever is next. My girlfriend joked that she's going to the great Mount Kitchen Cabinet in the sky (on earth, she liked to climb up between the top of the kitchen cabinet and ceiling, and get inside her paper bag).

Play happily in Mt. Kitchen Cabinet, sweet baby girl!

I'm sorry that you had to go through this .. and to you during this difficult time.

Had to do the same thing today, provide the final kindness to my cat. It is the hardest decision ever. She lived a long very happy life and you provided the best care you could for her and she knows that. I'm broken up about it too, there is no way not to be.

sweet baby girl enjoy your Mt. Kitchen Cabinet in the sky. If you see a black & white kitty sleeping in the kitchen sink in the sky say hi to her for me.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's called the final kindness for a reason, it the nicest thing to do in the situation.

Taryn