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I'm thinking about getting another cat

post #1 of 37
11/4/10 at 5:37pm
Thread Starter 
Chynna went to the RB on July 3/10.

Abby is 12 years old and came to live with me when she was 4 months. I brought her home so she could be a companion for Chynna because I had started a new job at work that had me working 12 hour day and night shifts and I thought that was a long time to leave Chynna home alone without any companionship.

Unfortunately, while Abby came from a home that had a couple other cats and she loved to cuddle, as much as she tried to cuddle with Chynna, Chynna would have absolutely no part of it.

Abby tried and tried so hard, but Chynna would chase her away and she even stalked her (not in a playful way either). Abby grew timid and frightened, and I became her bestest friend.

There was always rivalry between Chynna and Abby for my attention, and Chynna was so jealous when she saw me with Abby that she would butt in causing Abby to run off, or Abby would see Chynna eyeing her and then run off with Chynna stalking her.

Abby was truly fearful of Chynna.

Based on how Abby was when she first came to live here, and her huge desire to have another kitty companion, I'm wondering if that desire is still there.

Since Chynna died, Abby is a whole different kitty. She's come out of her shell. She's no longer timid or afraid. She loves to cuddle and will even let me pick her up sometimes. And when I'm sitting on the couch she jumps up to sleep on top of me (every evening), something she never did at all when Chynna was here.

I don't think Abby even misses Chynna even a little bit. She never went around calling out for Chynna when Chynna was no longer here.

I would love to give another kitty a home (a cat about 3 to 5 years old), but I'm afraid of how Abby will react.

She seems to enjoy being my only kitty and having me all to herself. But at the same time I can't help but remember that little kitten who came to live with me and wanted so much to have a kitty cuddle companion.

So I'm really torn about what to do.

Can I get your thoughts?
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post #2 of 37
11/4/10 at 5:53pm
Maybe try fostering first? That way you can figure out it Abby reacts or not before committing.
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post #3 of 37
11/4/10 at 5:57pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriana View Post
Maybe try fostering first? That way you can figure out it Abby reacts or not before committing.
The thing about that is, I do not qualify for fostering or adoption through the local Humane Society. I live in an apartment that has an official policy of "NO PETS!" as indicated on their lease So to adopt or foster through the Humane Society, they call the agency and ask if pets are allowed. And despite the agency knowing that I have a cat, and 2 at one time, and they turn a blind eye to it, if they were called, they would give their official statement "NO PETS!"

If I adopt, my Sister-in-Law would be the one officially adopting and I would be taking the kitty home with me. In time I would have the owner information for the tattoo changed to my name.
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post #4 of 37
11/4/10 at 6:10pm
Ahhh. I understand. Hmm, that's a sucky situation! It really does suck with all the no pet policies in apartments these days!
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post #5 of 37
11/4/10 at 6:18pm
I'm so sorry about Chynna...I stay away from the RB and if you posted there, I wouldn't have seen. I think it's wonderful that you want to adopt an older cat, but IMHO Abby might adapt better to a kitten. An "established" cat might swat at or be afraid of a kitten at first, but it seems a kitten always wants to love and play with a grown cat. Then they get adjusted and usually ignore or love each other.

Daisy was probably a little over a year old when we brought her home, and it took a long time before she accepted Speck. She was a special case, since she'd been fending for herself in the wild, but it wasn't easy on any of us. However, Sil's newest adopted cat still attacks her oldest cat, though she gets along fine with the "middle" one. Cat politics are so tricky.
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post #6 of 37
11/4/10 at 6:30pm
I would definitely go for an older/mellower cat, given Abby's age, if you do decide to adopt. It can be easier to integrate a kitten to an adult, however the kitten energy level vs. senior energy level - well let's just say it hasn't mixed well at my house with the youngin's Gumby/Lola & the other older fogies.

ETA: November is also "Adopt a senior pet month" on Petfinder! I don't know that you are considering a senior, though.
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post #7 of 37
11/4/10 at 6:55pm
If you do, maybe a sweet, laid back male? But it sounds like to me that Abby is delighted to have you all to herself. Maybe let her revel in it for a little while.
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post #8 of 37
11/4/10 at 7:31pm
Aww Linda,
I'm really happy to see you posting a thread like this! I was hoping that you'd think about adding another furbaby when you're ready! I'm sending you a pm
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post #9 of 37
11/4/10 at 8:02pm
Linda, good luck with a new kitty. All I know that if I brought anothrt kitty Brownie would have a knipsen.
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post #10 of 37
11/4/10 at 8:29pm
Hmm, I like the fostering idea (I know you already said you can't do that in your apt.) because you could see how Abby does; but personally I would become attached too quick. That's why I have no business fostering. I'd become a hoarder.

It sounds like Abby is really happy to have all your attention right now. Whenever we've brought kittens home; they do look for someone to love on. Like when they were with their litter-mates all the time. So I kind of wonder if that's just a stage she's outgrown? Mooch and Noodles were always cuddled up together when they were small. Now it is an extremely rare occasion that I find them together. I think the last was when we were moving in our new house and they were hiding in the same cube when I checked on them. Anyway... I guess I'd just be afraid that you get a new one home and it actually makes her unhappy.

But I don't have a whole lot of experience with adding new members to a senior cat household. The times we did, the oldest cat was 9, but I don't remember much about it. When Bunny came home 3 days after Pumpkin, Pumpkin was still very tiny preemie and she was about 3. Bunny kind of became his surrogate mom, bathing him and snuggling him. Now he beats her up. And I've always thought Bunny would have been happiest in a single cat household. She's a lovebug but can have an attitude times 10 with the other animals. Even smacks the dogs!

Whever you decide will be the right thing I'm sure! Any kitty would be lucky to be in your home!
Quote:
Originally Posted by nurseangel View Post
Cat politics are so tricky.
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post #11 of 37
11/4/10 at 10:28pm
Abby may take a while to get used to the idea. I think it would be nice for her to have company.
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post #12 of 37
11/5/10 at 4:55am
I think deep down inside she still would want a friend, she may have just gone into her shell because of the animosity between her and Chynna. I would adopt another cat...thats just my opinion.

I would love to have another cat since Fatman passed but unfortunately Hercules and GiGi are so in tuned to each other and so bonded together that I honestly think that deep down in my toes those two would just not welcome another cat because of their relationship. Especially GiGi she is super possesive of her boyfriend noone is allowed near Hercules without her bum rushing them and being a little snot.
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post #13 of 37
11/5/10 at 5:07am
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the feed back.

My worry is that I don't want Abby to feel afraid in her home like she did with Chynna. I fear that Abby isn't really a dominant cat and that a cat I brought home would end up being the alpha and Abby would be back where she was with Chynna: feeling timid.

On the other hand, Abby is such a social kitty with me, and loves to be touched and rubbed and brushed and just plain loved on. No matter where I am in the apartment, she has to be literally pressed right up against me, or at the very least, like this morning (after having had a good loving/brushing session), in the same room with me in her line of sight. I worry about her when I'm not home because she is alone.

So far as gender of a new cat, I had been leaning towards a boy kitty. I've never had a boy kitty because most cats I've had I've found abandoned, and they were all girls.

I'm just so torn. Bring another kitty home or not. Kitten vs Senior.

I just know that I have lots of space in my heart to love another kitty. But need to do what is best for Abby in the end. So I need to give this a great deal of thought.

Please keep your thoughts coming.
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post #14 of 37
11/5/10 at 5:32am
I completely understand. Freya was so much cuddlier in the first few weeks after we lost Cotton - she was also clingier and we started to see some of the anxious behavior that led us to get another cat the first time around.

Having seen Freya with Cotton and now with Sybil, I'd lean towards getting an older cat. Freya and Cotton integrated much easier than her and Sybil (Sybil's 9 mos, Freya's 6). Freya's also not dominant, but we had good luck just asking the rescue volunteers about the dominance of the cat you're thinking about. When we first met Cotton, they actually asked us how dominant Freya was because Cotton was such a softy and was very easily bullied.

I think that, with the right cat, Abby would likely welcome a friend.
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post #15 of 37
11/5/10 at 6:04am
We got Sneaky Pie when our old kitty Mistoflees was 9. She was kind of a pain to him- but he dealt.

When he died last year, Sneaky was an "only" for 5 months. She was 8 and was perfectly happy being an "only". She never really cried or mourned him.

Well, we got Holly b/c a friend of mine had kittens that she wanted to go to a good home. She found mom- who was already pregnant. I couldn't say no- esp when she said all the kitties were black.

Sneaky "tolerates" Holly. And they do play. But Holly gets in her face and Sneaky is over it. Part of the "grumpy" behavior that I've seen over the last 6months (hissing at us for no reason at all- growling for no reason etc) is that Holly just bugs and bugs and BUGS Sneaky if she wants to play and nobody is around to play with her.

If I had to do it over again- I think I would have gotten an older cat. I think Sneaky would have been a little happier if we had. But I really didn't have a choice- and I didn't want this little kitten to wind up in a shelter (and the one that's near my friend is a regular shelter- I know there are no-kills around here but not near her). Especially since she is a sweet little thing (when she's not getting into trouble )

Cheryl
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post #16 of 37
11/5/10 at 6:07am
Well, you know me, of COURSE I'm going to say go for another kitty!

That being said though, I do understand your concerns for Abby's well being, so yes, I think she would do best with a laid back, male kitty. Be choosy though. Good luck!
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post #17 of 37
11/5/10 at 8:30am
I hope my earlier post didn't sound like I discouraged getting an older cat...I've seen it work both ways. It's just in my personal experience, but I've had better luck with kittens. Because they will not be ignored. I was actually a little jealous of how taken Speck was with Smoke RIP (grumpy old barn cat who came to live with us, at least part-time). I wanted my new kitten to pay attention to me, . Smoke batted him away and acted generally annoyed for a while, then accepted him as his own. Pretty soon they were constant companions...at least while Smoke was inside.

However, I once had a cat named Redman (RIP) and he was my love. Back when our cats went outside, he went to the neighbor's a picked up a stray kitten that looked like a full Persian. He actually led that kitten home, stopping and looking back to make sure it was keeping up. We named the new kitten Fuzzy (again, RIP). They got along great until Fuzzy grew up, then they fought so much that once we even had to take Redman to the vet for an infection resulting from a wound.

Carolina, among many others here, have socialized adult cats without a problem.

Though I applaud people for taking in adult cats since they are often overlooked at the shelter in lieu of fuzzy kittens, I still think a timid cat might do better with a little one. Older cats often are scared of kittens at first, but after a bit it seems to bring out the kitten in them.

I certainly don't want to discourage adopting an older cat and have done so many times myself...just throwing them into the mix of a mult-cat household. Whatever decision you make, I hope it works out the best for you and Abby and the new addition.
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post #18 of 37
11/5/10 at 11:07am
Maybe two kittens I have no real advice but am glad you are considering adding another kitty who needs a home. That would concern me the apartment says no pets but you are lucky you have been grandfathered in.
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post #19 of 37
11/5/10 at 11:52am
I'm happy to read your heart is ready for more lovin'. I think it's a great idea.
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post #20 of 37
11/5/10 at 1:00pm
I think it is a good idea... but the issue putting the adoption under your sister could cause issues down the road...

Personally ,I have brought a kitten home to a senior cat and I will never do that again I would suggest an older cat( Imho gender is a Non issue)...
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post #21 of 37
11/5/10 at 2:03pm
I suggest an adult cat, but not another senior. You have one already and financially taking another one on so soon may be a bit daunting. But if you think you have the funds, fine. Just be aware that kitty intros could stress Abby and make her ill, which could be an extra vet bill for you.

Are there any small rescues that are more lax or maybe even someone on here that knows a person nearby you that has a cat that desperately needs a home?

You can determine personality and interaction style if the cat you pick is kept around other cats. More so if you've had plenty of cats in your past and can read cat body language very well. I haven't been wrong yet on any of basic personality on any of the cats I've brought into my home and thus knew what to expect on each of them (easier if you're adopting an adult, IMHO, but after a while you get good at reading kittens, too.).


O/T: I wonder if rescues will ever try checking credit ratings or financial history?...
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post #22 of 37
11/5/10 at 3:21pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by cococat View Post
Maybe two kittens I have no real advice but am glad you are considering adding another kitty who needs a home. That would concern me the apartment says no pets but you are lucky you have been grandfathered in.
Not grandfathered. When I moved here the policy was in effect. But I never told them and I made no attempt to hide them either.

When I was in the hospital in 2004, the caretaker looked after my kitties, and the apartment manager has been to my apartment for various inspections of plumbing issues in the building etc. She loved Chynna!

I'm even so bold as to cross of "NO PETS!" which is right below where I sign my lease, and hand it in that way. They witness it and never say anything to me.

I think it's because I'm a good tenant and my cats aren't roaming the hallways or trashing the apartment (no rugs), and I keep the kitty litter very clean so there is no smell.
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post #23 of 37
11/5/10 at 7:39pm
I'd talk to the shelter about it. What you're looking for is a cat-friendly kitty who has displayed no dominance issues - I'd definitely want an older, mellow male. Our girls - other than Flowerbelle - always have issues with other females. ALWAYS.

I've found the girls to be really jealous. And if a kitty that would work does choose you ( ), then just remember to always give Abby attention first, and help her understand how much fun it is to have the other kitty around because it means SHE gets more treats and food and love and attention!
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post #24 of 37
11/5/10 at 8:13pm
I think a boy is also a good idea. My female is very jealous and territorial. The boys are just goofballs.
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post #25 of 37
11/6/10 at 10:13am
I would wait until Abby isn't so needy. Sounds like she has a lot of lovin' she wants to catch up on with you. If/when you do get another kitty, take your time doing the integration, if it's rushed you could end up with Abby feeling left out (could start problems) when the new kitty gets a lot of attention.

It's a tricky situation, I keep thinking "if it's not broke don't fix it" and Abby seems really happy with just you. My response would be different if you found a rescue who has already grabbed your heart. But having another cat there when you are gone could go either way; good or bad. And another cat doubles the expense... Good luck!
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post #26 of 37
11/6/10 at 10:33am
I think it's a good idea, but as a previous poster mentioned, talk to the shelter as they'll know the kitties that are dominant and which are laid back. I'd go for an older kitty (maybe 5-7 yo) and a male. Kittens are fun, but can be very stressful for older kitties. I think if you worked closely with a shelter/rescue and you got a laid back kitty, you'd see that once they got acclimated your girl would still be lovey like she has been lately.
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post #27 of 37
11/6/10 at 10:49am
I will always go along with getting another kitty; so many are living in shelters and they need you.

When we got Mollipop, we knew we needed a kitten and not an older kitty. The last time we brought in an older kitty (Pumpkin was a young male cat), BooBoo made Pumpkin's life terrible. Tt was bad for almost a year before Boo adjusted to another cat. We found that bringing in a kitten was so much less traumatic for BooBoo, probably because to Boo, a kitten would be no threat. Just something to think about....how Abby would react to a kitten versus an older kitty. A kitten really can be a lot of work and Abby might not enjoy having a rambuctious bundle of fur flying about the house!

If you think Abby feels comfortable with just you, don't rush it. And that will give you time to decide for sure whether you'd like a kitten, young cat, or older cat. Boy or girl.

I like the idea of talking to people at a shelter....they would be able to help you decide, too.

Good luck!
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post #28 of 37
11/7/10 at 8:22am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
I would wait until Abby isn't so needy. Sounds like she has a lot of lovin' she wants to catch up on with you.
That`s my decision I think she is relishing having me all to herself. When it`s her time for the RB I`ll open my home to 2 kitties of the same age who are starting out on equal terms.
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post #29 of 37
11/7/10 at 8:42am
I can only tell you what happened to me and my RB kitty Misty. Misty was an only kitty for two years, I adopted her at about 6 weeks old. After two years I adopted another female kitten who took over the house. She wouldn't let Misty get near me and would eat her food. I had to feed Misty in the bathroom so Pepper wouldn't push her away from her food. She wouldn't let Misty get into bed with me either. I hung on for almost 9 months and nothing changed except Misty's unhappiness. I finally gave Pepper to my dental tech who wanted a kitty. I just couldn't watch Misty being so sad. Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do but for me it was, Misty was my 'firstborn' and I could see her slowly getting very timid and afraid. I could not stand for that any longer.

So yes it is a big decision for you to make, seeing how Abby is now without Chyna is a real eyeopener. If she is happy now, maybe you should just her be. Again this is a tough decision but I just wanted you to know my story, of course all cats are different.
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post #30 of 37
11/7/10 at 12:25pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaRussa View Post
seeing how Abby is now without Chyna is a real eyeopener. If she is happy now, maybe you should just her be. .
Yes. I've decided to not adopt another kitty at this time. She was always loving towards me, but since Chynna died, it's different. She seems more secure and relaxed during our cuddle sessions and isn't on guard looking out for Chynna to butt in or chase her away.

Thanks for all of the input and advice. It helped me work this through to an answer that I feel is the right one for both me and Abby at this time.
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