I'm thinking about getting another cat

Chynna went to the RB on July 3/10.

Abby is 12 years old and came to live with me when she was 4 months. I brought her home so she could be a companion for Chynna because I had started a new job at work that had me working 12 hour day and night shifts and I thought that was a long time to leave Chynna home alone without any companionship.

Unfortunately, while Abby came from a home that had a couple other cats and she loved to cuddle, as much as she tried to cuddle with Chynna, Chynna would have absolutely no part of it.

Abby tried and tried so hard, but Chynna would chase her away and she even stalked her (not in a playful way either). Abby grew timid and frightened, and I became her bestest friend.

There was always rivalry between Chynna and Abby for my attention, and Chynna was so jealous when she saw me with Abby that she would butt in causing Abby to run off, or Abby would see Chynna eyeing her and then run off with Chynna stalking her.

Abby was truly fearful of Chynna.

Based on how Abby was when she first came to live here, and her huge desire to have another kitty companion, I'm wondering if that desire is still there.

Since Chynna died, Abby is a whole different kitty. She's come out of her shell. She's no longer timid or afraid. She loves to cuddle and will even let me pick her up sometimes. And when I'm sitting on the couch she jumps up to sleep on top of me (every evening), something she never did at all when Chynna was here.

I don't think Abby even misses Chynna even a little bit. She never went around calling out for Chynna when Chynna was no longer here.

I would love to give another kitty a home (a cat about 3 to 5 years old), but I'm afraid of how Abby will react.

She seems to enjoy being my only kitty and having me all to herself. But at the same time I can't help but remember that little kitten who came to live with me and wanted so much to have a kitty cuddle companion.

So I'm really torn about what to do.

Can I get your thoughts?

Maybe try fostering first? That way you can figure out it Abby reacts or not before committing.

Originally Posted by Adriana

Maybe try fostering first? That way you can figure out it Abby reacts or not before committing.

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The thing about that is, I do not qualify for fostering or adoption through the local Humane Society. I live in an apartment that has an official policy of "NO PETS!" as indicated on their lease So to adopt or foster through the Humane Society, they call the agency and ask if pets are allowed. And despite the agency knowing that I have a cat, and 2 at one time, and they turn a blind eye to it, if they were called, they would give their official statement "NO PETS!"

If I adopt, my Sister-in-Law would be the one officially adopting and I would be taking the kitty home with me. In time I would have the owner information for the tattoo changed to my name.

Ahhh. I understand. Hmm, that's a sucky situation! It really does suck with all the no pet policies in apartments these days!

I'm so sorry about Chynna...I stay away from the RB and if you posted there, I wouldn't have seen. I think it's wonderful that you want to adopt an older cat, but IMHO Abby might adapt better to a kitten. An "established" cat might swat at or be afraid of a kitten at first, but it seems a kitten always wants to love and play with a grown cat. Then they get adjusted and usually ignore or love each other.

Daisy was probably a little over a year old when we brought her home, and it took a long time before she accepted Speck. She was a special case, since she'd been fending for herself in the wild, but it wasn't easy on any of us. However, Sil's newest adopted cat still attacks her oldest cat, though she gets along fine with the "middle" one. Cat politics are so tricky.

I would definitely go for an older/mellower cat, given Abby's age, if you do decide to adopt. It can be easier to integrate a kitten to an adult, however the kitten energy level vs. senior energy level - well let's just say it hasn't mixed well at my house with the youngin's Gumby/Lola & the other older fogies.

ETA: November is also "Adopt a senior pet month" on Petfinder! I don't know that you are considering a senior, though.

If you do, maybe a sweet, laid back male? But it sounds like to me that Abby is delighted to have you all to herself. Maybe let her revel in it for a little while.

Aww Linda,
I'm really happy to see you posting a thread like this! I was hoping that you'd think about adding another furbaby when you're ready! I'm sending you a pm

Linda, good luck with a new kitty. All I know that if I brought anothrt kitty Brownie would have a knipsen.

Hmm, I like the fostering idea (I know you already said you can't do that in your apt.) because you could see how Abby does; but personally I would become attached too quick. That's why I have no business fostering. I'd become a hoarder.

It sounds like Abby is really happy to have all your attention right now. Whenever we've brought kittens home; they do look for someone to love on. Like when they were with their litter-mates all the time. So I kind of wonder if that's just a stage she's outgrown? Mooch and Noodles were always cuddled up together when they were small. Now it is an extremely rare occasion that I find them together. I think the last was when we were moving in our new house and they were hiding in the same cube when I checked on them. Anyway... I guess I'd just be afraid that you get a new one home and it actually makes her unhappy.

But I don't have a whole lot of experience with adding new members to a senior cat household. The times we did, the oldest cat was 9, but I don't remember much about it. When Bunny came home 3 days after Pumpkin, Pumpkin was still very tiny preemie and she was about 3. Bunny kind of became his surrogate mom, bathing him and snuggling him. Now he beats her up. And I've always thought Bunny would have been happiest in a single cat household. She's a lovebug but can have an attitude times 10 with the other animals. Even smacks the dogs!

Whever you decide will be the right thing I'm sure! Any kitty would be lucky to be in your home!

Originally Posted by nurseangel

Cat politics are so tricky.

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Abby may take a while to get used to the idea. I think it would be nice for her to have company.

I think deep down inside she still would want a friend, she may have just gone into her shell because of the animosity between her and Chynna. I would adopt another cat...thats just my opinion.

I would love to have another cat since Fatman passed but unfortunately Hercules and GiGi are so in tuned to each other and so bonded together that I honestly think that deep down in my toes those two would just not welcome another cat because of their relationship. Especially GiGi she is super possesive of her boyfriend noone is allowed near Hercules without her bum rushing them and being a little snot.

Thanks for the feed back.

My worry is that I don't want Abby to feel afraid in her home like she did with Chynna. I fear that Abby isn't really a dominant cat and that a cat I brought home would end up being the alpha and Abby would be back where she was with Chynna: feeling timid.

On the other hand, Abby is such a social kitty with me, and loves to be touched and rubbed and brushed and just plain loved on. No matter where I am in the apartment, she has to be literally pressed right up against me, or at the very least, like this morning (after having had a good loving/brushing session), in the same room with me in her line of sight. I worry about her when I'm not home because she is alone.

So far as gender of a new cat, I had been leaning towards a boy kitty. I've never had a boy kitty because most cats I've had I've found abandoned, and they were all girls.

I'm just so torn. Bring another kitty home or not. Kitten vs Senior.

I just know that I have lots of space in my heart to love another kitty. But need to do what is best for Abby in the end. So I need to give this a great deal of thought.

Please keep your thoughts coming.

I completely understand. Freya was so much cuddlier in the first few weeks after we lost Cotton - she was also clingier and we started to see some of the anxious behavior that led us to get another cat the first time around.

Having seen Freya with Cotton and now with Sybil, I'd lean towards getting an older cat. Freya and Cotton integrated much easier than her and Sybil (Sybil's 9 mos, Freya's 6). Freya's also not dominant, but we had good luck just asking the rescue volunteers about the dominance of the cat you're thinking about. When we first met Cotton, they actually asked us how dominant Freya was because Cotton was such a softy and was very easily bullied.

I think that, with the right cat, Abby would likely welcome a friend.

We got Sneaky Pie when our old kitty Mistoflees was 9. She was kind of a pain to him- but he dealt.

When he died last year, Sneaky was an "only" for 5 months. She was 8 and was perfectly happy being an "only". She never really cried or mourned him.

Well, we got Holly b/c a friend of mine had kittens that she wanted to go to a good home. She found mom- who was already pregnant. I couldn't say no- esp when she said all the kitties were black.

Sneaky "tolerates" Holly. And they do play. But Holly gets in her face and Sneaky is over it. Part of the "grumpy" behavior that I've seen over the last 6months (hissing at us for no reason at all- growling for no reason etc) is that Holly just bugs and bugs and BUGS Sneaky if she wants to play and nobody is around to play with her.

If I had to do it over again- I think I would have gotten an older cat. I think Sneaky would have been a little happier if we had. But I really didn't have a choice- and I didn't want this little kitten to wind up in a shelter (and the one that's near my friend is a regular shelter- I know there are no-kills around here but not near her). Especially since she is a sweet little thing (when she's not getting into trouble )

Cheryl

Well, you know me, of COURSE I'm going to say go for another kitty!

That being said though, I do understand your concerns for Abby's well being, so yes, I think she would do best with a laid back, male kitty. Be choosy though. Good luck!

I hope my earlier post didn't sound like I discouraged getting an older cat...I've seen it work both ways. It's just in my personal experience, but I've had better luck with kittens. Because they will not be ignored. I was actually a little jealous of how taken Speck was with Smoke RIP (grumpy old barn cat who came to live with us, at least part-time). I wanted my new kitten to pay attention to me, . Smoke batted him away and acted generally annoyed for a while, then accepted him as his own. Pretty soon they were constant companions...at least while Smoke was inside.

However, I once had a cat named Redman (RIP) and he was my love. Back when our cats went outside, he went to the neighbor's a picked up a stray kitten that looked like a full Persian. He actually led that kitten home, stopping and looking back to make sure it was keeping up. We named the new kitten Fuzzy (again, RIP). They got along great until Fuzzy grew up, then they fought so much that once we even had to take Redman to the vet for an infection resulting from a wound.

Carolina, among many others here, have socialized adult cats without a problem.

Though I applaud people for taking in adult cats since they are often overlooked at the shelter in lieu of fuzzy kittens, I still think a timid cat might do better with a little one. Older cats often are scared of kittens at first, but after a bit it seems to bring out the kitten in them.

I certainly don't want to discourage adopting an older cat and have done so many times myself...just throwing them into the mix of a mult-cat household. Whatever decision you make, I hope it works out the best for you and Abby and the new addition.

Maybe two kittens I have no real advice but am glad you are considering adding another kitty who needs a home. That would concern me the apartment says no pets but you are lucky you have been grandfathered in.

I'm happy to read your heart is ready for more lovin'. I think it's a great idea.

I think it is a good idea... but the issue putting the adoption under your sister could cause issues down the road...

Personally ,I have brought a kitten home to a senior cat and I will never do that again I would suggest an older cat( Imho gender is a Non issue)...