..am I the only one who finds this disgusting??

When my sister and I were in our twenties we knew this band that played in a neighborhood bar and we used to go a lot. We just liked to watch our friends play, dance some and talk to each other, but we were always getting hit on anyway.

Sometimes we pretended we were together, just to get them off our backs, and after a while most of the regulars thought we were a couple . But one time another friend was with us and I really liked her approach.

The guy came up to our table, pulled up a chair without asking and started hitting on my friend. She slapped the table as if she was smacking a roach (this was in Houston, TX), then flicked it, all the time staring at the guy.

Kind of rude I guess, but it was effective and we thought it was HILARIOUS.

Originally Posted by Rockcat

Now you do.

We were introduced by a mutual friend, but still...

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But the metaphysical question is ... does it count? Because you were introduced by a friend, he didn't hit on you out of the blue!

You can't blame a guy for trying, right?

As a guy, I found having to 'hit' on someone was strange---I could not stand it!!

When I met Audrey we stayed friends for some 7 years before we ended up marrying, now 32 years later we are still happily married

As far as bars are concerned---megh--don't need 'em ---really

Originally Posted by LDG

Did they? I don't know ANYONE who's married and met in a bar.

I think if you go to a club, you have to expect it - the bar, it depends.

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Yes you do, silly! Earl and I met at a club. Maybe it was different because it was a Goth club so unless they were there to look at the freaks (and we knew within minutes who they were!) you already knew you had some things in common just by being there - at least the music, which was really, really underground (no pun intended, but it works!). This was pre-Columbine and pre-Marilyn Manson when it wasn't just the Baby Bats playing dress up. The closest thing he used as a "pick up line" was asking me if I wanted to go get some air after we had both been dancing for about an hour. Not dancing together (not possible with how we all danced ), just dancing in the same proximity and catching each other's glances.

We're not into the Goth scene anymore. It deteriorated pretty quick once everyone and their dog wanted to dress in black and be moody or play "vampire." Like I said, Baby Bats playing dress up. But we've been together for 15 years, and our 10th anniversary is in 2 1/2 weeks. So it can work out...

Hey, you have to meet somewhere, right?

I never found it disgusting... more amusing, sometimes pathetic.
Back when I went to clubs and/or bars, I would usually just end up talking to the guy if he wasn't too gross. Never "hooked up" with a guy who hit on me, though! Does that ever work?! It must, because they keep trying!

OMG Heidi, that's right! I DID know that!

And you're right about a club like that - there'd be common ground going into it. I'll have to figure out how to properly phrase that.

Ummm.... I don't ANY couples that have met at a meat-market club or singles bar and the introduction was by way of a pick-up line (by either one), not an introduction by someone. !!!

I met my ex is a bar, I actually was the one who hit on him granted, I'm divorced now, but so are a lot of other people who met other ways We actually went to the bar on our wedding day to take a picture

but honestly, i don't think it's weird or gross for people to hit on other people in a bar, the way I look at it is, what's the difference between someone hitting on you at a bar or at the library or the grocery store? As long as you don't go home with him that night and just get to know each other/date, there's no reason why a relationship couldn't develop. You have to meet people somewhere And as far as the person only hitting on you because they think you're cute, why else would someone hit on you? until you get to know someone, you have no idea what their other good qualities are, or if they even have them. There has to be that spark of attraction and seeing someone on the street (or in a bar) you're not going to be attracted to their compassionate nature

I know there are plenty of guys in bars who are just hoping to get lucky by hitting on every girl there, but there are also genuine guys there who don't get out much because of being busy at work or going to school and don't get a chance to meet girls any other way. We (women) usually have pretty good radar when it comes to that stuff, but you have to give a guy a chance once in awhile instead of painting them all with the same brush

whew! I'll get off my soapbox now

Good point, Katie. But for me, it just seemed like it would be so much work to do things that way. If you enjoy being in the social bar environment - great! I never did.

Originally Posted by LDG

But the metaphysical question is ... does it count? Because you were introduced by a friend, he didn't hit on you out of the blue!

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That's a tough one because I met the friend in a bar too! Anyway, it was a local bar where people go to hang out with their friends, which IMO is not the same kind of bar that the OP is referring to.

I usually find it flattering, unless they're lecherous butts. I don't get hit on very often. I figure I'm an acquired taste.

I agree with everyone who says that you have to meet someone someplace. I have to say that you never know. I went out to dinner and this really cute waiter was turning on the charm and was flirting up a storm at the table. Now part of me knew that was the just way he was going to get extra tips (alot of waiters will do that) but I left my e-mail address. My sister was like that never works and yeah some of his lines were of the cheesy pick up variety. But he did contact me and he was totally different on our date and we have been together for almost 5 years and married for a year and a half. So yea sometimes those cheesy lines can lead to something you just have to go with your instinct. Also cheesy pickup lines are just that...they don't always reflect who the guy really is.