..am I the only one who finds this disgusting??

LOL I definitely don't find it disgusting, unless the guy is really really ugly and disgusting
Maybe it is because you are young.... and there plenty of guys hitting on you - enjoy while you have it my dear!

I've never understood it - hitting on someone in a bar/club/etc. It's like, "OK, you're only talking to me because you're superficial & like how I look?". I dunno - I think like you do, I want someone to like me for who I am, and it seems completely un-romantic to pick someone up in a bar.

I laugh as I look much younger and the one hitting on me are high school age..

In college I had guy friends like this who told me they were just playing the odds. The more girls they talk to the more likely one fish would bite.

I've had that happen before... and I've had people think I'm as much as 10 years younger than I am.

For the most part no one bothers me even when I am out alone. I must give off "leave me be" vibes or something.


You're young and were in a club. Most women there are looking for guys so it's not like they could tell you were there just to hang out with friends. And chances are most of the guys had a few drinks so that wouldn't help matters. lol

Many clubs/bars are referred to as "meat markets" with good reason, and a lot of the people who go to them have certain expectations.

The whole summer before I met my husband my friends and I spent one or two nights a week out at bars. None of us were there to meet people, we were all just out trying to have fun together...so we would typically just laugh when someone tried to hit on anyone in our little group. I never understood the allure of trying to meet someone at a bar...it just seemed like everyone there was into hooking up that night only, which is something I was never into so I never gave anyone a second though.
I always feel weird about people who randomly hit on someone in weird situations. I started working at a grocery store when I was 15. I worked there thru high school, and throughout most of college, and a little after (quit and went back a couple times) and I would be working, either as a cashier or in customer service, and have customers ask me for my phone number! It was so awful....they didn't seem to understand or care that it was so awkward. Why would I give my number to some random (creeper!) guy? It was usually older men or men who looked at certain body parts as they spoke to me instead of my face, so I was always creeped out. I had one guy ask me what time I got off work...I lied because I was off at one that night and at that time of night there were only two other people in the store and I didn't want this guy to know when I left...so I told him I was off at 2am. The next day, he came in again and told me he was upset that I lied to him because he came back at 2am to try to hang out with me and I was not there!!
People are weird....I went a little off topic but I agree about finding it kinda gross about people hitting on others in clubs. It really is just a way for guys to talk to everyone they can and see what they can get. I was never really excited to get hit on in a club, I typically would send looks to my friends like "get me out of here!" lol.

Yeah Im not a huge fan of the finding your soul mate at a bar. It just seems so...tacky I guess like a cheesey movie. One thing that Ive hated is when you are with someone and you go somewhere without your significant other and get hit on. I clean up pretty nicely but if I toss on some makeup and do my hair its not so some creepo in the store will make snarky gross comments and try and take me home. I like to go places with BF and rarely do I go anywhere alone because I dont like dealing with the creepos.

Bars are meat markets. Most are there to be picked up or to pick up someone to take home for some extra fun. Granted there are some sincere, nice people, but for the most part, it's place to go and meet up with someone new for the night.

I have a lot of guy friends and they will tell you the only reason they hit on girls randomly at a bar is because they figure they might get lucky.

My boyfriends brother has no qualms about saying to the group before approaching a girl that "there is one I wouldn't mind kicking out of bed in the morning".

Don't get me wrong, most of my guy friends don't actually do this, but I have a few who just try to be as big of a pig as possible (mostly my SO's friends, my friends are all a bit geeky and don't just go out number hunting). But almost all of my guy friends will tell you if they do pick up a girl at a bar or night club, it's not for something long term

There are a few times when I've been hit on and it's been genuine. At my favorite bookstore in the Fantasy aisle (I'm sure it wasn't a OMG she is hot as it was more of OMG she is looking at Star Wars books) or in the video games section at Best Buy (some cute geeky guy and I got into a conversation about StarCraft II, he asked for my number so we could finish the debate had to tell him I already had a gaming partner).

So really... in a bar "no thanks there hot stuff, good luck with girl #15" but in a random place where you know the convo is more about interests then looks, I don't mind that.

I know the feeling I actually had this happen on the 30th at a halloween party

You know when I go to bars I NEVER get hit on...my sister says its because I give off a strong back off I'm not interested vibe. Because I'm not. I'm happily married. PLUS I only go to bars with my husband so maybe it isn't so much the vibe I am giving off but the looks my DH is giving to other men.

What i do find annoying is getting hit on in the gym. It is a lot more subtle and I def. HATE when it happens because it is interrupting my workout. My DH says it is REALLY funny to watch because they are trying and i'm ignoring them and calls them my fan club. But still...AT THE GYM? Come on...

When I was younger and went out to bars/clubs with my girlfriends, I didn't mind the guys who were interested, I just played along. If the guy was creepy, I would just ignore him or tell him to get lost.

If you go to a bar/club you are open for guys approaching you, that's just the way it is and always will be. If you don't like dealing with that, stay away from those places and remember a lot of people met their spouses in bars.

"Disgusting" doesn't always apply... It's 100% ANNOYING... and sometimes it is "disgusting" bordering on "repulsive" depending on who the guy is...

Honestly, my favorite response is... "Has that ever worked for you?!?"

Did they? I don't know ANYONE who's married and met in a bar. I think if you go to a club, you have to expect it - the bar, it depends.

And yes, I agree - "annoying" is a better word for it. at the suggested response!

If you're out with your girlfriends, do your best to ignore it. Or find a different place to go. I was so never into the bar/club scene - and thus gravitated to friends that weren't either.

I'm not really the bar/club type either... never was... but I'm referring to people on the street that stop dead in their tracks and say something ridiculous... "Has that ever worked for you!?!" LOL

I was actually on the phone with my uncle once and while I'm talking to him I hear him say to someone "Can I come home and watch that movie with you?" So, I was like "Who are you talking to??" He says that he saw this girl coming out of Blockbuster (whatever happened to Blockbuster anyway LOL) and that's what he asked her... I'm like "Really?!? Has that line of attack ever worked??" He goes "Not really!" LOL

As far as I know things have not changed about this in the last 50 years or so and people go to singles bars to 1) be hit on or 2) hit on someone else.

It's what they are for.

Now you do. We were introduced by a mutual friend, but still...

When my sister and I were in our twenties we knew this band that played in a neighborhood bar and we used to go a lot. We just liked to watch our friends play, dance some and talk to each other, but we were always getting hit on anyway.

Sometimes we pretended we were together, just to get them off our backs, and after a while most of the regulars thought we were a couple. But one time another friend was with us and I really liked her approach.

The guy came up to our table, pulled up a chair without asking and started hitting on my friend. She slapped the table as if she was smacking a roach (this was in Houston, TX), then flicked it, all the time staring at the guy.

Kind of rude I guess, but it was effective and we thought it was HILARIOUS.

But the metaphysical question is ... does it count? Because you were introduced by a friend, he didn't hit on you out of the blue!

You can't blame a guy for trying, right?

As a guy, I found having to 'hit' on someone was strange---I could not stand it!!

When I met Audrey we stayed friends for some 7 years before we ended up marrying, now 32 years later we are still happily married

As far as bars are concerned---megh--don't need 'em ---really

Yes you do, silly! Earl and I met at a club. Maybe it was different because it was a Goth club so unless they were there to look at the freaks (and we knew within minutes who they were!) you already knew you had some things in common just by being there - at least the music, which was really, really underground (no pun intended, but it works!). This was pre-Columbine and pre-Marilyn Manson when it wasn't just the Baby Bats playing dress up. The closest thing he used as a "pick up line" was asking me if I wanted to go get some air after we had both been dancing for about an hour. Not dancing together (not possible with how we all danced ), just dancing in the same proximity and catching each other's glances.

We're not into the Goth scene anymore. It deteriorated pretty quick once everyone and their dog wanted to dress in black and be moody or play "vampire." Like I said, Baby Bats playing dress up. But we've been together for 15 years, and our 10th anniversary is in 2 1/2 weeks. So it can work out...

Hey, you have to meet somewhere, right?

I never found it disgusting... more amusing, sometimes pathetic.
Back when I went to clubs and/or bars, I would usually just end up talking to the guy if he wasn't too gross. Never "hooked up" with a guy who hit on me, though! Does that ever work?! It must, because they keep trying!

OMG Heidi, that's right! I DID know that!

And you're right about a club like that - there'd be common ground going into it. I'll have to figure out how to properly phrase that.

Ummm.... I don't ANY couples that have met at a meat-market club or singles bar and the introduction was by way of a pick-up line (by either one), not an introduction by someone. !!!

I met my ex is a bar, I actually was the one who hit on him granted, I'm divorced now, but so are a lot of other people who met other ways We actually went to the bar on our wedding day to take a picture

but honestly, i don't think it's weird or gross for people to hit on other people in a bar, the way I look at it is, what's the difference between someone hitting on you at a bar or at the library or the grocery store? As long as you don't go home with him that night and just get to know each other/date, there's no reason why a relationship couldn't develop. You have to meet people somewhere And as far as the person only hitting on you because they think you're cute, why else would someone hit on you? until you get to know someone, you have no idea what their other good qualities are, or if they even have them. There has to be that spark of attraction and seeing someone on the street (or in a bar) you're not going to be attracted to their compassionate nature

I know there are plenty of guys in bars who are just hoping to get lucky by hitting on every girl there, but there are also genuine guys there who don't get out much because of being busy at work or going to school and don't get a chance to meet girls any other way. We (women) usually have pretty good radar when it comes to that stuff, but you have to give a guy a chance once in awhile instead of painting them all with the same brush

whew! I'll get off my soapbox now

Good point, Katie. But for me, it just seemed like it would be so much work to do things that way. If you enjoy being in the social bar environment - great! I never did.

That's a tough one because I met the friend in a bar too! Anyway, it was a local bar where people go to hang out with their friends, which IMO is not the same kind of bar that the OP is referring to.