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I'm Going To Have To Practice..

post #1 of 27
10/31/10 at 3:47pm
Thread Starter 
patience. I just talked to Emmy's current mommy and I have to wait one week for her. I guess she's more attached to Emmy than I was lead to believe. She wants a week to say her goodbye. I can totally understand that. I assured her that she could come by and visit anytime.
So no doubt this will be the longest week of my life, but I'm sure Emmy is worth the wait
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post #2 of 27
10/31/10 at 3:50pm
and maybe you can make or get every thing ready for Emmy while waiting... Shopping is fun
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post #3 of 27
10/31/10 at 3:54pm
That sucks! I know how hard waiting can be! ~hugs~
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post #4 of 27
10/31/10 at 4:04pm
I bet it's going to be the longest week of your life! I like Jen's idea... I know you got everything all ready, but maybe a new toy here, or a new cat bed there....

But Lauren really summed it up. That sucks!

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post #5 of 27
10/31/10 at 4:05pm
I hate to say it... but something just occurred to me. What happens if things turn around for your friend and she moves back out on her own? Is she going to want Emmy back? I think I'd get that straight before she comes home.
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post #6 of 27
10/31/10 at 4:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
I hate to say it... but something just occurred to me. What happens if things turn around for your friend and she moves back out on her own? Is she going to want Emmy back? I think I'd get that straight before she comes home.

I was thinking the exact same thing. I would HATE to see you get attached and then have your heart broken again sweetheart. You've been through too much already.
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post #7 of 27
11/1/10 at 4:18am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
I hate to say it... but something just occurred to me. What happens if things turn around for your friend and she moves back out on her own? Is she going to want Emmy back? I think I'd get that straight before she comes home.
You know that did go through my mind very briefly. What kind of gall does that take to want something back that you gave a way? But some people are like that!! Yes, I think I need to get that cleared up with her. I don't know her that well--I'm friends with her parents. They've even mentioned that she's a bit unstable about things at times. Thanks for putting it back in my head. I'll get it straight with her.
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post #8 of 27
11/1/10 at 4:23am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailie View Post
I was thinking the exact same thing. I would HATE to see you get attached and then have your heart broken again sweetheart. You've been through too much already.
I don't know WHAT I would do in a case like that Kailie. I'm already attached to Emmy and haven't even met her yet!! I'm just going to get it straight with her in the beginning and try to avoid the heartbreak. Fingers crossed, girlfriend
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post #9 of 27
11/1/10 at 4:24am
Well, something went through my mind though regarding this. If you get this straight with her about not getting her back once she gives her up, that may affect her giving her to you at all

I might wait and see. She may not want her back, but the threat of not giving her back might put this whole thing in jeopardy.

You would be under no obligation to give her back. I just think telling her that now may put the deal in danger.

Does that make sense??
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post #10 of 27
11/1/10 at 4:34am
Thread Starter 
Yep, it makes sense. So I should probably wait until I'm actually holding Emmy in my arms before I mention it? Her parents would have a fit if she tried that stuff with me. I mean, Emmy would be headed for a shelter if no one took her in...if I was a total stranger that adopted her from the shelter she wouldn't try to get Emmy back. She couldn't. I think this is a real situation that I need to think about, don't you?
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post #11 of 27
11/1/10 at 5:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellaandme View Post
Yep, it makes sense. So I should probably wait until I'm actually holding Emmy in my arms before I mention it? Her parents would have a fit if she tried that stuff with me. I mean, Emmy would be headed for a shelter if no one took her in...if I was a total stranger that adopted her from the shelter she wouldn't try to get Emmy back. She couldn't. I think this is a real situation that I need to think about, don't you?
I think I'd wait until Emmy isn't just in your arms, but is in your arms at your house. And then mention it. She sounds like a sweetie.

(Patience, grasshopper! ) It will be OK.
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post #12 of 27
11/1/10 at 6:13am
Yep, I would say don't tip her off. It sounds covert, I know. But the welfare of Emmy is at stake. And you are such an exceptional kitty lover!

You would be under no obligation to return her.
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post #13 of 27
11/1/10 at 6:25am
Is there any way you could just sort of casually mention to the parents how you're fixing Emmy's home up for her, and that, hey, any day would work to pick up Emmy, no need to wait a week if that makes things more convenient for them! - but making the parents aware that you're certainly planning for Emmy? So they can help their daughter face Emmy's moving to a new home?
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post #14 of 27
11/1/10 at 6:32am
Once you get Emmy, get her microchipped and registered in your name, or change the registration if she's already chipped. Also take her to the vet's for a check-up asap so that you are on file as having paid for her vet care. Then it'll be "too bad" if the girl wants her back.
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post #15 of 27
11/1/10 at 6:49am
Good advice!
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post #16 of 27
11/1/10 at 7:46am
Thread Starter 
Good advice!!! I've asked about her health and vet check ups. She has been spayed years ago. No recent shots and No microchip!!!
That's exactly what I'm gonna do!!! And just between me and all of you--there's no way I'm giving her back. Oh, my did I say that out loud?
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post #17 of 27
11/1/10 at 7:53am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by darlili View Post
Is there any way you could just sort of casually mention to the parents how you're fixing Emmy's home up for her, and that, hey, any day would work to pick up Emmy, no need to wait a week if that makes things more convenient for them! - but making the parents aware that you're certainly planning for Emmy? So they can help their daughter face Emmy's moving to a new home?
Well, her parents are on my side about this. I know blood is thicker than water--but they are crazy about cats--and have been lobbying for Emmy to come to me. I don't mind giving the girl one last week with Emmy. I just can't understand what she can do in a week with Emmy that she couldn't do in the 7 years she had her. I wanted to keep that thought to myself because i didn't want to seem cold about it. But that's the way I feel.
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post #18 of 27
11/1/10 at 9:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
Once you get Emmy, get her microchipped and registered in your name, or change the registration if she's already chipped. Also take her to the vet's for a check-up asap so that you are on file as having paid for her vet care. Then it'll be "too bad" if the girl wants her back.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellaandme View Post
Well, her parents are on my side about this. I know blood is thicker than water--but they are crazy about cats--and have been lobbying for Emmy to come to me. I don't mind giving the girl one last week with Emmy. I just can't understand what she can do in a week with Emmy that she couldn't do in the 7 years she had her. I wanted to keep that thought to myself because i didn't want to seem cold about it. But that's the way I feel.
guilt I guess. try to make up for 7 years of neglect maybe.

I rescued a little beagle dog who had been banished to live outside, across the street from my house. She lived a happy life with me for a year, Lots of hikes, a warm place to sleep, cats to play with, though she was broken-hearted at losing her first family, and it was hard for her to be right across the street.

When she got sick, though I did all I could for her, she had to be sent to the Bridge. Her old "family" were all over her crying and sobbing and wanted to be the ones who took her in. Since I knew half the reason little Nikki was unable to fight her illness was because of her broken heart, I let them. But it left a mighty bad taste in my mouth, let me tell you. Hypocrites.

Go over and get a blankie or a bed of Emmy's and bring it home so Emmy has something familiar in her new forever home when she gets there. And push to move that week up to a few days. I would.
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post #19 of 27
11/1/10 at 11:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellaandme View Post
You know that did go through my mind very briefly. What kind of gall does that take to want something back that you gave a way? But some people are like that!! Yes, I think I need to get that cleared up with her. I don't know her that well--I'm friends with her parents. They've even mentioned that she's a bit unstable about things at times. Thanks for putting it back in my head. I'll get it straight with her.
I would get something in writing if I were you, if she is unstable you don't know what kind of person she really is.
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post #20 of 27
11/1/10 at 11:51am
Here's an alternative - and given what you've said about her parents, this may be best discussed with them. Take Emmy, get her to the vet in your name, get her microchipped and register and pay for it in your name, and THEN ask the parents if they think it's necessary - is it a good idea to send them a piece of paper that says she's surrendered Emmy to you, and if so, would they have her sign it? Just so there are no future issues.
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post #21 of 27
11/1/10 at 12:53pm
I would advise a basic adoption agreement...

as Laurie mentioned
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post #22 of 27
11/1/10 at 1:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
Once you get Emmy, get her microchipped and registered in your name, or change the registration if she's already chipped. Also take her to the vet's for a check-up asap so that you are on file as having paid for her vet care. Then it'll be "too bad" if the girl wants her back.

I was going to mention that about the microchip, especially if she WAS already chipped, to get your name put on immediately. But her not being chipped is probably even better, then you can start fresh by getting it done yourself.

As to "visitation", I would advise against it. When we adopted Sven, he was very depressed because after 9 years his Mom just tossed him aside, and our Vet said if he saw her again, he might get even more depressed when she left again. So...if she asks if she can visit, you can tell her the Vet advised against it, for Emmy's sake (because I'm guessing you don't really want her to visit her, do you?)
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post #23 of 27
11/1/10 at 1:42pm
Oh no hun, I hope this all works out for you, I know how excited you were about getting her yesterday. I hope you do get Emmy soon, she deserves a wonderful life life with a fantastic meowmy (you) Sending you vibes xx
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post #24 of 27
11/1/10 at 1:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsgreenjeens View Post

As to "visitation", I would advise against it. When we adopted Sven, he was very depressed because after 9 years his Mom just tossed him aside, and our Vet said if he saw her again, he might get even more depressed when she left again. So...if she asks if she can visit, you can tell her the Vet advised against it, for Emmy's sake (because I'm guessing you don't really want her to visit her, do you?)

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post #25 of 27
11/1/10 at 2:21pm
Thread Starter 
No, I don't really want her visiting. I think it would be too hard on Emmy. She is pregnant (not Emmy--her current owner)--so hopefully she will be too occupied after the baby comes to drive the 22 miles to see her.
It will be better for all is she just left us alone...for Emmy's sake.
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post #26 of 27
11/1/10 at 2:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellaandme View Post
No, I don't really want her visiting. I think it would be too hard on Emmy. She is pregnant (not Emmy--her current owner)--so hopefully she will be too occupied after the baby comes to drive the 22 miles to see her.
It will be better for all is she just left us alone...for Emmy's sake.


to BOTH of you during this excruciating week!
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post #27 of 27
11/1/10 at 2:31pm
Thread Starter 
I want to thank everyone for you support. All suggestions are helpful and appreciated. You all came up with ideas I wouldn't have thought of!! I didn't realize trying to adopt an 'unwanted' kitty would be to hard.
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