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ldg

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Ruthy, it's tough on you guys (of course he's totally nackered with so little sleep and so much stress!) - but I'm SO GLAD to hear that DH's grandad is responding to the pneumonia meds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keeping up the
 
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ruthyb

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I can't thank you all enough again, when he comes out of hospital I don't think he will be able to go home, it will either be a hospice or a home unfortunately. I think they are doing scans to see how far his cancer has progresses, his last check up was a month ago and the growths had took over both his lungs. Spoke to mil tonight and she said he's ok when he's on oxygen but without it, he's very ill but apparently the oxygen feeds the cancer so you can't win either way. Its just a horrific situation, I think it makes it worse because it is this time of year, near to christmas which is supposed to be a family time and all that, used to be my favourite time of the year. To be honest though the poor man has been through so much and he hates living without his wife, I feel so sorry for everyone in all angles. Did the kids halloween party today and that was good fun, so just going to take one day at a time and see what happens.xxx
 

stephanietx

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Ruthy, I'm praying for your family. I lost my mom to lung cancer Dec 13, 1996 and it really puts a damper on the holidays for me even now. Any form of cancer is a horrible thing, but especially lung cancer since it impairs breathing. I really hope they're able to stabilize your GFIL and get him some relief. Also praying for your MIL and her pleurisy. That's such a painful illness. She may need to go to the hospital for treatments so she doesn't develop pneumonia.

Take a deep breath. Focus on today. One step and one thing at a time.
 

calico2222

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Day by day is the only way you can take something like this. At least the antibiotics are helping him get comfortable now. It's you and your family I'm most worried about. I'm so glad you were able to enjoy the halloween party with the kids. Sometimes it's the everyday things that keep us sane.

Many
and prayers for all of you still.
 

weldrwomn

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Ruthy - I am so sorry! I just wish I had something to add, but I just hope that things turn around for you and your family! Lots of prayers and vibes!!!
 

jennyr

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I am sorry that you and your family have this trouble to go through and I hope that your Dh's grandad is made as comfortable as possible for whatever time he has left. Good vibes for him and all of you
 

lovesmycats

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Ruthy, I'm so sorry to hear about your dh's grandpa. I hate cancer with a passion. My fiance passed away this June from lung cancer that metastasized to his liver and spleen. He was 30 years old. I then lost my grandpa 3 weeks after that and had to put my cat to sleep this Thursday. I've had enough this year.

If you need to talk to someone who understands, please feel free to PM me. Keep all of you in my prayers.
 
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ruthyb

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Originally Posted by LovesMyCats

Ruthy, I'm so sorry to hear about your dh's grandpa. I hate cancer with a passion. My fiance passed away this June from lung cancer that metastasized to his liver and spleen. He was 30 years old. I then lost my grandpa 3 weeks after that and had to put my cat to sleep this Thursday. I've had enough this year.

If you need to talk to someone who understands, please feel free to PM me. Keep all of you in my prayers.
Oh my goodness hun, I am so sorry, dear me what is it and bad things happening this year? Oh my gosh, that is just terrible, it must just seem like one thing after another? Well to add to it hubbys grandad wants to discharge himself from hospital which is not advised at all. They are reviewing him monday, they have done lots of tests includin a scan to tell us how far the cancer has progressed now, my mil is meeting with his consultant monday but he is being stubborn and wants to go home. Thing is he needs the oxygen and that has to be organised, also he is not safe at home on his own, he needs care all the time and especially someone to make sure he takes his medication and the right pills. He has nurses come in but sometimes they don't turn up, Fil works and mil doesn't drive and she has a 9 year old at home to care for so she can only go when she can, she is still really ill and she needs to rest which she won't, its really stressing her out, she doesn't know what to do for the best. Home care is an option but that will take time to organise so he needs to stay put in hospital for the minute. My dh has suggested a home, not really an ideal option for your grandparents but he would have 24/7 care and we would know that he is ok day and night. He said no point blank and sil said theres no way my grandad is going n a home. She lives a 2 hour drive away so she cannot help much.Dear me, I don't know what to suggest, he just needs to wait till monday and see what the consultant says, he's very confused and agitated.x
 

-_aj_-

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another thing you might be able to suggest is home help hun they come out and assess what would need to be done on a daily basis and have health care nurses going in to see to his needs ..., cleaning, shopping that sort of stuff as well as helpin with any medical requirments to
 

libby74

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I just came across this thread; I'm so sorry for everything your family is going thru, Ruthy. Sending lots of to you and your family.
 

lovesmycats

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Originally Posted by Ruthyb

Oh my goodness hun, I am so sorry, dear me what is it and bad things happening this year? Oh my gosh, that is just terrible, it must just seem like one thing after another? Well to add to it hubbys grandad wants to discharge himself from hospital which is not advised at all. They are reviewing him monday, they have done lots of tests includin a scan to tell us how far the cancer has progressed now, my mil is meeting with his consultant monday but he is being stubborn and wants to go home. Thing is he needs the oxygen and that has to be organised, also he is not safe at home on his own, he needs care all the time and especially someone to make sure he takes his medication and the right pills. He has nurses come in but sometimes they don't turn up, Fil works and mil doesn't drive and she has a 9 year old at home to care for so she can only go when she can, she is still really ill and she needs to rest which she won't, its really stressing her out, she doesn't know what to do for the best. Home care is an option but that will take time to organise so he needs to stay put in hospital for the minute. My dh has suggested a home, not really an ideal option for your grandparents but he would have 24/7 care and we would know that he is ok day and night. He said no point blank and sil said theres no way my grandad is going n a home. She lives a 2 hour drive away so she cannot help much.Dear me, I don't know what to suggest, he just needs to wait till monday and see what the consultant says, he's very confused and agitated.x
Hi Ruthy. You live in the UK correct?? Do you all have 'hospice' over there? Its where people who have a terminal illness go to. They provide wonderful care both to the patient and to the family. He really needs to be on oxygen and other meds to help him be comfortable. I pray that he will allow the help. I don't know if he feels that there's nothing to be done and so why go to the hospital or what it is. But the purpose of hospice is to get them comfortable. Hang in there, you and your family are in my prayers.
 

coolcat

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Originally Posted by Ruthyb

Oh dear, I'm in a bit of a state, dh's grandad got dianosed with lung cancer in february, his nanna died last november and his grandad has really gone downhill from there. He hasn't done too badly considering, my mother in law and all of us have pulled together and helped but this past week he has deteriorated, today especially. He had ambulance out today as he collapsed but he denied treatment.The doctor came out after and told him he needed to be in hospital but he refused.
My hubby went to see him tonight and immediately called paramedics as he looked so ill, my mother in law is very ill with pluracy at the minute so has been relying on the nurses and my father in law going in and seeing that he is ok. The paramedics came at about 9.30pm and they have diagnosed him with nuemonia, why he wasn't diagnosed earlier I do not know but they have took him to hospital now and that is all I know so far. I am a bunch of emotions right now, this past month has been so tough and now this. we are preparin ourselves for the worse, his cancer is very advanced and we know he probably won't make it, even though we knew it makes it no easier and it is bringing back memories from dh's gran. Gosh, sometimes life is so cruel and especially to us just recently. I can see no light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak at the minute, I just need someone to tak to, everyone here has been so good to me so recently and now things like Harveysproblems seem so trivial.xx
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jcat

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I'm sorry to hear that so many negative things are happening at once. If the cancer is spreading so rapidly, a hospice (or home hospice care) can keep him comfortable and offer a lot of emotional support to both him and the family.
 
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ruthyb

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Oh my goodness if things couldn't start getting any worse, dh has took his mum to see his grandad tonight in hospital, just before he left to go and pick her up she phoned to say the hospital had phoned and they had lost his randad for 2 hours, they eventually found him sitting in his pyjamas near the main entrance and he said he was waiting fo his daughter to come as she was taking him out for a meal. So they went down and are still there, mil has just phoned me and told me that he is still sat there and is refusing to go back upto the ward. He is adamant he wants to go home now, she said there isn't much she can do as they can't make him stay so they are waiting for the doctor to discharge him and then they will have to take him home. Mil is in a right state, she said he sounds terrible and struggling without the oxygen, he hasn't completed his course of antibiotics for his pneumonia. The hospital said they can't doi anythin as he is in sound mind. I disagree with this as he has apparently saying he wont go back upto the ward as all the nurses leave all the patients and go to the pub! Dear me, I don't know what we are going to do, the hospital are however organising for 4 nurses to come in during the course of the day to care for him. There is no way on this Earth he will go in a home but I know he isn't safe at home. They wanted him to stay atleast until tomorrow so the consultant could speak to mil about his scan results as we really don't know how advanced his cancer is at the minute. He hasn't eaten and refuses to and he can hardly walk, goodness knows how he managed to get all the way to the main entrance.He's even on about driving his car tomorrow!! I have told mil to hide his car keys. He just seems to have lost the plot and its terrible to hear that he's like this after the man he used to be. Goodness knows what to do next.x
 

libby74

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It's so hard when folks, as you put it, lose the plot (that's a great description, BTW). I ran into that a lot when I was an aide; the one good thing about it (and I don't mean this to sound rude, it's just a fact) is that they don't know there's anything wrong with them. My SIL's Mom doesn't recognize her anymore, but she's as content as a little clam.
I do hope things improve for your family soon. Trouble just seems to build on itself sometimes, doesn't it?
 

lovesmycats

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Ruthy, perhaps you can talk to one of the nurses about getting someone from hospice to come and talk to him. They will explain what they do and that there goal is to make him comfortable. I really hope he will allow the help.
 
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