Co-workers making me nuts

One of my co-workers received a bengal kitty over the weekend from his former boss. His boss had two, and they hadn't gotten along, were always fighting, so he wanted to get rid of one. My co-worker took one of the girls home, the one who was doing the beatings He said she had personality, and her picture is his desktop in his lab area. Gorgeous kitty

The co-workers in my direct area are so ridiculous! Yes, the co-worker with the cat IS gay, he doesn't hide it. The ones in here seem to have the biggest phobia of gay people, and it P's me off daily. So they both agreed with each other that a guy having a cat as a desktop is a flag of being gay. I told them Rob had Hoshi as his computer desktop, AND has pictures of all three cats in his toolbox at work. They changed their opinion to say "well if a guy has a wife, its okay then. But if not, he's totally gay."

I asked if it made a difference if a single guy owned a cat then. They said only gay men own cats, a straight man would never make himself -look- gay by owning a cat.

What the ?!? I am so sick and tired of their judgmental attitudes and how everything is "gay". I'm beginning to think they are, and are afraid - that's why they act the way they do! They really need to grow up before I snap.

Eugh, that would really annoy me too! So what if a man wants to have a cat of his own? And so what if he's gay too. At least his lovely new kitty will love him regardless of what others think

Originally Posted by Tara & Rob

I asked if it made a difference if a single guy owned a cat then. They said only gay men own cats, a straight man would never make himself -look- gay by owning a cat.
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I have heard this on several occasions before too. It isn't true.
There seem to be a lot of myths of cat ownership all around.
Besides doesn't everyone know by now most pet owners make for better significant others?

ugggggggggggggggggggggggggg

I can totally understand your frustration. Unfortunately I have no suggestions

Some people are just ignorant.

Originally Posted by Snake_Lady

ugggggggggggggggggggggggggg

I can totally understand your frustration. Unfortunately I have no suggestions

Some people are just ignorant.

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They ARE extremely ignorant, about A LOT. I bite my tongue often around them when they are having a ridiculous conversation, which happens almost daily

When I was outside with the SPCA animals that are visiting today, there were a few guys that went straight to the cat, not gay guys either. I hate that they are trying to stereotype it like that and say that a straight guy cannot own a cat if he's not married/dating

I asked my TL, and he says he'd prefer a cat. If he were single living alone, it'd be a toss up, but he prefers an animal that will lay in his lap and watch movies with him, and thinks a cat would be a better choice. He's got 2 kids and has considered a kitty, maybe when his son is a couple years older.

PS: Just so no one gets confused, I am not saying there is anything wrong with being gay either! The guy here who just got a cat is a wonderful person, AND my brother is gay too, it doesn't make a difference to me what someone's orientation is. I'm aggravated in the fact that these ignorant coworkers of mine are making such a crazy assumption/trying to stereotype cat ownership. Argh. At least my day is almost over (got paid to spend an hour playing with 2 puppies and a kitten )

Is there any stereotype you can irritate them with? Any blonde jokes or something? Most people don't realize how irritating stereotypes are until they are thrust into one.

Btw, I LOVE blonde jokes, especially if they're unique. But, I'm also not natural.

Ugh what morons. I would say either 1.completely ignore them or 2. find a stupid stereotype to throw into their faces like "Oh yea? Guys who wear bluejeans are TOTALLY gay too" then look at their pants and smirk. etc. Just something that says how stupid they are being.

Wel then, I MUST be gay, then....

There's plenty of guy stereotype jokes. Every woman knows several even if she doesn't realize it.

Pull some of the funnier ones out and BS with them. That's what guys do.

For the most part jokes between guys are much different than joking between women. The general rule is (if they can get away with it) the cruder and more offensive the joke is, the funnier it is. It doesn't matter how stupid the joke seems, either.

In this case, ignore them. If they see their stereotyping jokes are getting to you they're going to take advantage of it to rile you up. (it's like with forum trolls, feed them and they keep going)

Punk them. Get photos of adorable kittens ... put them in frames and put them on their desks or their cubicles when they aren't looking.... act all innocent.

People are so stupid. My very heterosexual neighbor has 2 cats. Women love him.

We work in a lab, so we dont really have personal desks. I have a "counter" for my specific area since I do Hg Prep and they do metals in general and its two totally different analysis. We each have "personal drawers" in the lab where we keep purses, keys, etc, maybe I'll have to stick pics in there. The one guy used to date a girl with a cat, but said it never liked him. Huh, funny.

They are always considering me one of the guys, asks questions about relationships, what I think when a female says something (want woman perspective), etc etc. But boy do they annoy me sometimes. Doesnt help I have to listen to horrible obscure rap music all day either, when they begin to irritate me by saying ignorant things - I'm already getting annoyed

I really wish I had my own room to work in there I'd be much happier by myself not having to listen to their ridiculous conversations everyday. I get along with them for the most part, but some moments I'm ready to slap them upside the head.

Can you wear ear plugs? Drown them out if you need help ignoring them.

I'm a truck driver. Eighteen-wheeler. Have been for 33 years.

I have an impressive collection of guitars in my office. Too many, in fact.

You know that I drive a hot rod.

My garage is full of wood-working equipment.

And the gorgeous Flambe is currently my desktop.

Men who don't like cats have an ego problem, likely caused by the dimunuitive size of...well, you guess, and they compensate by only tolerating people around them that they can control.

It takes a real man to love a cat.

So your co-workers are saying the other co-worker is gay because he likes cats and has a picture of his on his desktop? And their point is? I find it way more offensive when someone is openly homophobic. I'm sorry that you have to work with such small minded people.
My daughter is in a same sex marriage and all my co-workers know it. There is one that would probably have something stupid to say if he thought he could. He just knows that I would eat him alive if he did!

Turn their prejudices against them. The next time they say anything about your co-worker's cat, say, "You know, I hate to say it, but studies have shown that those who attempt to stereotype others according to their choice of pets usually are insecure about their own gender-identity", and tell them that's what Google's for if they want specific citations. Then you can say stuff like "Do I have to wonder about your insecurities?" if they keep bringing the matter up. In other words, psych them out, but make sure to keep a perfectly straight face.

I work in a lab, too! Fortunately, my coworkers speak Japanese, and I don't (not really), so I don't have to hear their nonsense!
There is actually a movement that you should tell your ignorant coworkers about. http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/ They could one day get in trouble for using derogatory language. So what if your coworker is gay? Is that bothering them in some way?!
I can't agree more that a guy can own a cat, be single, and be straight - all at once!

If I were you I would tell them that you find that kind of talk offensive, and that you don't believe in stereotyping people into categories. And also tell them that you don't care if someone is straight, gay or martian, it's none of your business, or theirs! And also let them know that it's not nice to gossip about people.

It's best to be straight up with people like the co-workers that you describe.

Back in the early 1990's I worked with a similar group of people. I didn't like hearing them talk about and make fun of other people that I worked with. One day when they were into a rather perceived "juicy" bit of gossip, I casually mentioned that "I happened to walk into the lunch room the other day and over heard some rather interesting comments about a few of you." Of course it wasn't true, but you should have seen the looks on their faces.

Originally Posted by spudsmom

So your co-workers are saying the other co-worker is gay because he likes cats and has a picture of his on his desktop? And their point is? I find it way more offensive when someone is openly homophobic. I'm sorry that you have to work with such small minded people.

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The co-worker who just got the cat IS gay, he told me that a month or so after he started working (it was pretty obvious, he's a lot like my brother too), but they are saying that by him having a cat would have sealed their suspicions because only gay men would own a cat if they weren't in a hetero relationship. They are VERY homophobic, very openly homophobic. One day, the gay co-worker asked one of the guys how they were doing while passing them on his way over to his lab room, and the dude freaked out after he walked out saying "He must like me! UGH GROSS! He said hi to me and not to you!" (me). I was like "are you seriously that close minded? He was being NICE by inquiring how you were ... I was out of his sight by kneeling down at a cabinet, probably why he didn't acknowledge me!"

Originally Posted by jcat

Turn their prejudices against them. The next time they say anything about your co-worker's cat, say, "You know, I hate to say it, but studies have shown that those who attempt to stereotype others according to their choice of pets usually are insecure about their own gender-identity", and tell them that's what Google's for if they want specific citations. Then you can say stuff like "Do I have to wonder about your insecurities?" if they keep bringing the matter up. In other words, psych them out, but make sure to keep a perfectly straight face.

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That's a good idea. They're always being ridiculous about something or other. The way someone acts, talks, what they do, how they do it, etc. It usually comes out to be "this is gay" and "This is not gay" at the end. There's another guy that works at night in here who is also so severely homophobic its sort of disturbing. Kind of makes me wonder if he has some type of past or something...

Originally Posted by mrblanche

Men who don't like cats have an ego problem, likely caused by the dimunuitive size of...well, you guess, and they compensate by only tolerating people around them that they can control.

It takes a real man to love a cat.

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I agree

As for headphones, I do have my ipod but the ear buds bother my ears. I brought that in because I was tired of having to listen to crappy music all day. I thought about bringing it up to my boss (the music part) but I don't want to ruin the ability to have music altogether I guess I need to get more comfy ear buds to ignore them, but usually they try and ask questions or make their points even while I'm listening to it.

I hate homophobic people. Im not going to turn this into a rant but I like open minded nice people. I don't see the point in being against gay people...or anyone for that matter! So it really drives me crazy when people dislike someone JUST bc they are gay...or even talks about how someone MUST be gay because of certain things...
Anyway!! My lovely husband was living with 9 cats when I met him. He had a roommate who had 2 of them but didn't take care of them, so my husband was taking care of 9 cats in his condo. I thought it was AWESOME that he loved animals that much. My husband is the type of guy who makes sure(even at 430am as he leaves f or work) that we put out food for the stray that lives in the area. Tonight we are making a "bed" in his shed so this cat has a semi warm place to sleep in case it gets too cold for it outside. Even a cat that isn't his, he wants to take care of. I think it is ridiculous to think that a single man owning a cat or multiple cats mean they are gay. I think men who like animals make better spouses....especially cats because I think cats are good judges of character.