Annoyed at the neighbor, don't know what to do :( help, suggestions?

Some of you might remember I have a neighbor who has Alzheimer... She has 2 cats, one is about 7, and the other, female, about 11.... this is the one I am very concerned about.
The female cat, Gracie, was always an inside outside cat, mostly inside, always slept inside... She has a thyroid problem, which I found out about by looking at the prescription medicine from the vet.
Well, lately my neighbor decided she is not her cat anymore, and is leaving her outside all the time . Mind you, when I tell her, it is your cat, she was your cat since she was a baby, she says "well, she just showed up on my door one day, and I took her in, so she is really the building's cat". This was over 10 years ago!
The problem with that is, my neighbor having Alzheimer, she often forgets to put food out, doesn't give the kitty her medication, doesn't even know she needs medication, for that matter, and the kitty looks just awful. She looks skin and bones... just pitiful.
Every time I go to the mailbox she is at the neighbor's door waiting patiently for her to open the door to come in, so she can have some food and water... I need to call and have her come over to let Gracie come in... She then let her go right out...
This happened all of the sudden - she was hers for all these years, and now she is not anymore...
I just came back from the mailbox, and noticed that there was no food or water out - well, it is 3:30 here... When I asked, she said she was out of wet food...
I came in, got some of mine and put it out - that poor kitty ate a whole 6oz can in one sitting She was starving...
I put a plate of water out too...
There are coyotes in my neighborhood, and soon is going to get cold... plus she needs her medicine!
I just don't know what to do...
I have three cats, and that is my limit as far as the law goes... Also, she is sweet to pet, but can not be held/handled - she will hiss and bite. I keep wondering what would happen if I brought her in? What would happen to Bugsy? His UTI was brought on by stress... what would this do to him?would she be able to be inside only? In any event, if I bring her in, she would need to continue to be the owner, at least as far as vaccinations goes, because the registration goes to the city, and 4 animals is against the law here...
Oh God, it is killing me seeing her outside, and I am NOT happy at my neighbor right now... What do I do?

Your neighbor can't help it, and there's probably very little or nothing you can do to persuade her that that's her cat and she needs to let/keep her inside. My mom had Alzheimer's, so I know just how frustrating it can be. Your neighbor is losing her own identity/personality.

Can you at least feed and water the cat on a daily basis for the time being, and get the pills off your neighbor and give them to her? Put some sort of outdoor shelter (box) out for the cat? Does your neighbor have a caretaker? Do you know if anybody has a power of attorney for her, who could give you permission to get the cat vet care in her name?

Originally Posted by jcat

Your neighbor can't help it, and there's probably very little or nothing you can do to persuade her that that's her cat and she needs to let/keep her inside. My mom had Alzheimer's, so I know just how frustrating it can be. Your neighbor is losing her own identity/personality.

Can you at least feed and water the cat on a daily basis for the time being, and get the pills off your neighbor and give them to her? Put some sort of outdoor shelter (box) out for the cat? Does your neighbor have a caretaker? Do you know if anybody has a power of attorney for her, who could give you permission to get the cat vet care in her name?

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its not your neighbours fault! she doesnt understand I to know someone that has it and its terible to watch her go downhill so quickly. Is there any famliy that you can talk to anout the welfare of the cat?

Originally Posted by jcat

Your neighbor can't help it, and there's probably very little or nothing you can do to persuade her that that's her cat and she needs to let/keep her inside. My mom had Alzheimer's, so I know just how frustrating it can be. Your neighbor is losing her own identity/personality. What is interesting to me, is that she is very capable of making the decision to keep the other cat, the sweetest one of the two, inside and well taken care of...

Can you at least feed and water the cat on a daily basis for the time being, and get the pills off your neighbor and give them to her? I guess I can do that... She doesn't get the pills from the vet anymore (Methimazole) - I have seen it in 2 occasions and once when I noticed she ran out of it, I made her call the vet to get it refilled. She said the vet said she only needed for a month, which I thought it was weird, since you don't treat thyroid for a month. She forgets everything, so I don't know what the case is - she clearly has a tyroid problem, as she eats, and eats and is VERY skinny. Put some sort of outdoor shelter (box) out for the cat? I guess I can look into that too... Does your neighbor have a caretaker? No, she leaves alone. She is married, but the husband leaves in the office and is seldom seen in here. Do you know if anybody has a power of attorney for her, who could give you permission to get the cat vet care in her name? You know, I've been thinking about that... We go to the same vet... I've been thinking if I should call and ask what the story is, of ask her if I can take her in... At least if I can give her meds everyday... I am sure she would feel better?

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Carolina, I know you do a lot of traveling, but I agree - kitty needs to be cared for. At 11 rehoming her likely means a long time at a shelter, unless you can find a foster network to take her. As your neighbor disclaims ownership of her, I'd look into finding a foster network, and just doing what I could to care for her myself (and instruct cat sitters accordingly) in the meantime.

If you're willing to take her to the vet, I would call them and explain the situation. She obviously needs care!

Oh, I am totally willing to take her to the vet.... I can't stand seeing her in these conditions... I am just not sure of what is the right thing to do... For me, for her and for the cat...
Please guys, do not take me wrong...
I have been taking care and looking up for my neighbor for years... I go to the market, get her food, take her to the doctor, make sure her house is locked, make sure she safe... Buy her cat food, litter... Take her out for lunch, dinner, movies... I am always making sure she is ok and taken care of...
This is a tough situation for me to deal with, because in one hand she seems to be very very capable of making decision, i.e. when it comes to her other cat's issues... So, that is a problem for me - she is doing this to THIS cat only... Not to both of them....
And I have to solve this problem... Sorry if I sound insensitive... But I am suffering with Gracie

If she's decided to basically abandon Gracie, whether willful or not, I'd just treat it like that.

You've written about the situation before, we know you do what you can. It's an awful position to be in.

Originally Posted by LDG

If she's decided to basically abandon Gracie, whether willful or not, I'd just treat it like that.

You've written about the situation before, we know you do what you can. It's an awful position to be in.

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Yeah... and it is so hard to watch being such a cat lover you know? I feel so guilty seeing my babies inside so well taken care of and her outside like that...

I know. At this point, I'd get her care, do what I could to take care of her while trying to find her a new home or a foster network willing to take her in. Your neighbor says she's not hers? Fine. There's nothing you can do to make her take care of Gracie, but you can do what you can. That's what's best for Gracie, IMO.

just because she can remember and make decisions ffor one does not mean that she is fully aware of the other one its a degenerative disease and wont be fun for your neighbour either i think the best thing to do is speak to a vet and try and speak to any family relation you can

Originally Posted by -_aj_-

just because she can remember and make decisions ffor one does not mean that she is fully aware of the other one its a degenerative disease and wont be fun for your neighbour either i think the best thing to do is speak to a vet and try and speak to any family relation you can

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Look, she is aware, and she is making a decision. She remembers the day she came in her door, how she lived with her all these years... She remembers all these things. She lets Gracie in and out of her house... She knows Gracie, I have no doubt in my mind. My neighbor is not gone... at least not yet... This is absolutely a decision she has made....
My neighbor is still driving around, living on her own, and making a lot of day to day decisions... Yes, she is forgetful, but she is by no means gone.
I am here everyday, and believe you me, when I say, this is a decision she has made, to put the cat outside and relinquish ownership.
In the past she has told me more than once that Gracie was not sweet towards her other cat and from time to time she would hiss at him and that she felt like putting her outside because of it... This was about a year ago... My impression is that she never really liked Gracie She just liked the other one, who is much sweeter, a true lapcat... Gracie has a lot of stray tendencies... She keeps he distance... Not very sweet - she likes a pet on her head, but that's about it... Now unfortunately my impression is confirmed. I think she says "she is not mine" because I keep telling her she is... But deep inside she knows she is, and she just doesn't want to "deal" with her... Otherwise, why would she feed Gracie? Why would she let her in and out of the house? Why would she take her to the vet for her yearly shots?
I know my neighbor... I do truly believe this is a decision... Unfortunately...
You can judge me if you want, but the fact is, I am here, seeing what I see...

If this were me I would start now looking for a rescue situation for Gracie, and when you find one, just take her to them. And in the meantime, yes, call the vet and explain what is happening to her and ask if they will honor you seeing she gets the care she needs, and her medicine.

Alzheimers is a tricky thing, for all we know she may, half the time have forgotten Gracie was ever hers and thinks it is a cat who has always lived outside that she lets in occasionally. Other times she may remember that Gracie is her concern.

I took care of an Alzheimer sufferer for a few years, my friend's mother. Sometimes she knew she was in her daughter's house, other times she thought she was living in a house her father built. She lived with her daughter, only, but in Dot's mind, there were two other people living there, Dot's daughter, and "that woman who lives upstairs" (also the daughter) She would sit there and say terrible hurtful things to her daughter, and then without a blink, say to her (the daughter) in the same breath "you see what I have to deal with, with this girl".

You are a wonderful caring soul and I know how it must break your heart to see this little cat be neglected and starved and suffer. So start looking for a home or rescue group to take her, while you provide her with as much care as you can.

I will pray that a solution is found.

PS I also recommend you contact your state's Office of the Aging and report that this woman is possibly incapable of caring for herself. It sounds to me like Social Services needs to be involved. At the very least, she should not be driving.

Originally Posted by otto

If this were me I would start now looking for a rescue situation for Gracie, and when you find one, just take her to them. And in the meantime, yes, call the vet and explain what is happening to her and ask if they will honor you seeing she gets the care she needs, and her medicine.

Alzheimers is a tricky thing, for all we know she may, half the time have forgotten Gracie was ever hers and thinks it is a cat who has always lived outside that she lets in occasionally. Other times she may remember that Gracie is her concern.

I took care of an Alzheimer sufferer for a few years, my friend's mother. Sometimes she knew she was in her daughter's house, other times she thought she was living in a house her father built. She lived with her daughter, only, but in Dot's mind, there were two other people living there, Dot's daughter, and "that woman who lives upstairs" (also the daughter) She would sit there and say terrible hurtful things to her daughter, and then without a blink, say to her (the daughter) in the same breath "you see what I have to deal with, with this girl".

You are a wonderful caring soul and I know how it must break your heart to see this little cat be neglected and starved and suffer. So start looking for a home or rescue group to take her, while you provide her with as much care as you can.

I will pray that a solution is found.

PS I also recommend you contact your state's Office of the Aging and report that this woman is possibly incapable of caring for herself. It sounds to me like Social Services needs to be involved. At the very least, she should not be driving.

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I agree with Otto 5,000%!!! She may drift in and out of knowing. She is married.. .and you said the husband is very detached from the situation, this is not good. He may not be coping at all with the changes in his wife and is hiding out. They need social services support.

As for the cat, I also agree with what's been said.

Originally Posted by otto

If this were me I would start now looking for a rescue situation for Gracie, and when you find one, just take her to them. And in the meantime, yes, call the vet and explain what is happening to her and ask if they will honor you seeing she gets the care she needs, and her medicine.

Alzheimers is a tricky thing, for all we know she may, half the time have forgotten Gracie was ever hers and thinks it is a cat who has always lived outside that she lets in occasionally. Other times she may remember that Gracie is her concern.

I took care of an Alzheimer sufferer for a few years, my friend's mother. Sometimes she knew she was in her daughter's house, other times she thought she was living in a house her father built. She lived with her daughter, only, but in Dot's mind, there were two other people living there, Dot's daughter, and "that woman who lives upstairs" (also the daughter) She would sit there and say terrible hurtful things to her daughter, and then without a blink, say to her (the daughter) in the same breath "you see what I have to deal with, with this girl".

You are a wonderful caring soul and I know how it must break your heart to see this little cat be neglected and starved and suffer. So start looking for a home or rescue group to take her, while you provide her with as much care as you can.

I will pray that a solution is found.

PS I also recommend you contact your state's Office of the Aging and report that this woman is possibly incapable of caring for herself. It sounds to me like Social Services needs to be involved. At the very least, she should not be driving.

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what a terrible thing for an older cat to go through. your neighbor will not be getting any better because of this disease. a third party does need to step in and get the cat somewhere where she can be safe and cared for. I know how heavy your heart is seeing Gracie treated like this. It's very frustrating because you are such a cat lover. Can you get her into a fostering situation or a no-kill shelter?. This woman has no children or relatives besides her hubby that could help? The best I can offer are my prayers and vibes

Originally Posted by Bellaandme

what a terrible thing for an older cat to go through. your neighbor will not be getting any better because of this disease. a third party does need to step in and get the cat somewhere where she can be safe and cared for. I know how heavy your heart is seeing Gracie treated like this. It's very frustrating because you are such a cat lover. Can you get her into a fostering situation or a no-kill shelter?. This woman has no children or relatives besides her hubby that could help? The best I can offer are my prayers and vibes

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I am afraid the shelters in Dallas are so full with the economy and all, and it is hard as it is to find a no-kill shelter on this neck of the woods... Plus she is older and not healthy - a shelter situation would be a death sentence for sure...
The more I think about this, the more I think about talking to her to let me take her to the vet, and let me take care of her... Maybe put a shelter outside for the winter, and start making sure she has food and water at all times... She has been here in the building all her life...
I am not sure how to approach her... Today she was giving me hints like... Do you want a fourth cat? can you take a fourth one in? I am not sure if she was talking about Gracie or not though.
The thing is, if I take her, she would have to continue to be registered under their/her name, as I can not have 4 cats legally... But that can be arranged I guess, since we do have the same vet... Then when I travel I can just have the pet sitter give her food...

Originally Posted by Carolina

I am afraid the shelters in Dallas are so full with the economy and all, and it is hard as it is to find a no-kill shelter on this neck of the woods... Plus she is older and not healthy - a shelter situation would be a death sentence for sure...
The more I think about this, the more I think about talking to her to let me take her to the vet, and let me take care of her... Maybe put a shelter outside for the winter, and start making sure she has food and water at all times... She has been here in the building all her life...
I am not sure how to approach her... Today she was giving me hints like... Do you want a fourth cat? can you take a fourth one in? I am not sure if she was talking about Gracie or not though.
The thing is, if I take her, she would have to continue to be registered under their/her name, as I can not have 4 cats legally... But that can be arranged I guess, since we do have the same vet... Then when I travel I can just have the pet sitter give her food...

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it sounds like a good solution

Carolina, you seem llike a person with a really big heart. This woman is blessed to have you for a neighbor. I hope you can get something worked out for this cat so it will have a home and be taken care of.

I think I am going to talk to her tomorrow, ask her if she minds me taking her to the vet and taking care of her medication... Start from there... Then keep topping off her food and water... I will also buy her a shelter, and put it outside...