Hosting Thanksgiving Dinner

MoochNNoodles

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I know our Canadian friends have already celebrated Thanksgiving; but it's just a month away for us here in the US!

Last year DH and I had just bought our house and DH thought it would be a great idea to host dinner at our house. We had just 7 people here; but I was like 7 or 8 months pregnant and it was EXHAUSTING!! I can't tell you how my feet hurt! I had help from my mother; but still! I said "Never again while pregnant!!"


So this year DH again wants us to host dinner. It will be easier for LO to nap and my mother's house is in need of some major renovations. I've already agreed to host dinner. But now my mother would like to ask my step-grandparents (who live 2 hours away) and a step-uncle and aunt who will be visiting my step-grandparents from several states away. I haven't seen them in 15 years; but my Aunt and I are Frontierville buddies on facebook.
So I WOULD like to see them.

The problem is, my step-dad is just one of 8 kids. Most of them live near my step-grandparents. I'm afraid that more will come than just those 4 we are wanting to extend an invitation to. There are so many siblings, spouses, kids, etc that dinner could easily be for a crowd over 20! It's a major holiday and I would expect that they want to be together. But we do not go up there. For several reasons I won't get into here.

I have 4 step-siblings as it is. I know at least some are planning to come, 1 kid, spouses and significant others as well. I just don't know that I can handle a crowd that big!! Even with my mother's help. This house is just not THAT big! Now I do know that my step-family ALWAYS comes with food. And they are GREAT cooks! But our traditional menu is culturally different than theirs; so I will still have lots to cook. Not to mention baking desserts and cleaning before and after; with a very busy, mobile 10 1/2 month old on my hands. I've already told DH that she will be his responsibility from morning to night! But really she is pretty attached to me so that may not go over so well with her!


Any advice on hosting a crowd that big? Part of me thinks I should just, pardon the expression, grow a pair and do whatever it takes. Part of me is just terrified at the thought of it all! In reality, none of them may come and that's fine. But to have them all is a real possibility too. I was hesitant to offer to cook for just the usual holiday crowd!
 

margecat

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I'm not sure what you can do if there are too many people to literally fit into the house, but for cooking, I have 1 word : BUFFET! If you can get promises from at least 1 or 2 of the certain-to-be-there guests to make something (a main dish would be great in this situation), I think you can swing it. Don't knock yourself out making too much variety, or being a perfectionist. Tip from Martha
Stewart, Jr. (DH calls me that!): you can even buy some parts of the meal, such as the desserts. Yes, it's really o.k...everyone should understand that you're doing this basically all by yourself, and you also have a young child. If they don't, TOUGH. Try to make it easy on yourself this time! Can hubby cook, clean, bartend? Can you cook some items ahead of time, and freeze/re-heat? Since you're not sure what the guest list may be, have some extra, easy-to-throw-in-the oven/microwave dishes, extra chips, dip, drinks, etc. stashed away in case extra guests show up. Frankly,, I'd try to find a tactful way to limit the guest list first, though.

Even though it's a buffet, make sure you have some chairs scattered around, esp. for the older folks. How about paper plates, napkins, cups to help with clean-up? There are many nice ones out there.

Make sure you get to enjoy the meal, and to sit down. I firmly believe that a hostess has the right to enjoy her own party!
 

ldg

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I agree with MargeCat: ask others to bring things, don't insist on doing a lot of baking - buy deserts (or even a cooked turkey or two! I know our supermarket offers them if ordered in advance
) if you can afford it. Go buffet, and buy some good quality plastic forks, knives and spoons - and some solid plates that people can set on their laps.... see if you can find a sale on those little folding tables for TV dinners on the couch, or borrow card tables from the neighbors.

Make it simple and disposable. Then you may actually be able to enjoy some of it! Focus on the gathering.
 

gailc

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My two SIL's alternate hosting Thanksgiving for years. They usually have up to 35 people.
The hostess provides the turkey (2's) potatoes/gravy and some of the beverage.
I'm the other SIL so I bring bread, a dessert and a side dish. My neices/nephews are older now and they also bring dishes to pass. The tables are all set but I (and others) help in the final prep. We set the turkey in a nesco roaster all cut up and have beverages/rolls/butter on the table. At this stage there are more kids than adults.
Some of the men help with clean up but its usually the women. We eat about 12:30 pm and then if someone wants a plate around late afternoon they have to help themselves.
Make sure there are toys for the kids to occupy themselves or assign someone to watch them while the meal is prepped. If someone asks for what to bring be specific and is anyones wants to help welcome it!
 
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MoochNNoodles

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Originally Posted by MargeCat

hubby cook, clean, bartend? ...... Frankly,, I'd try to find a tactful way to limit the guest list first, though.
Hubby doesn't cook unless it's frozen. So like frozen pizza, frozen fish sticks, hot pockets....
But that's ok. I'm a good cook; if I don't feel too pressured!
Hubby is good with the house cleaning; so I cook, he cleans! LOL!

Finding a tactful way to limit the list is definitely a problem. Being the quiet ones, the ones who avoid conflict, it makes it difficult. Especially since this is a rare trip east, especially at a holiday time, for my step-uncle & aunt.
Originally Posted by Trouts mom

My advice would be to hide until Christmas
I like it! Can I crash on your couch for about 6 weeks?

Originally Posted by GailC

My two SIL's alternate hosting Thanksgiving for years. They usually have up to 35 people.
The hostess provides the turkey (2's) potatoes/gravy and some of the beverage.
I'm the other SIL so I bring bread, a dessert and a side dish. My neices/nephews are older now and they also bring dishes to pass. The tables are all set but I (and others) help in the final prep. We set the turkey in a nesco roaster all cut up and have beverages/rolls/butter on the table. At this stage there are more kids than adults.
Some of the men help with clean up but its usually the women. We eat about 12:30 pm and then if someone wants a plate around late afternoon they have to help themselves.
Make sure there are toys for the kids to occupy themselves or assign someone to watch them while the meal is prepped. If someone asks for what to bring be specific and is anyones wants to help welcome it!
I like that! Mom and I always divide up the dishes and desserts since we are the ones who live here. But maybe if so many people come I can find a way to divy up the cooking duties. They will all be coming from at least 2 hours away; but we can re-heat. And we will definitely have to do this buffet style somehow because my table only seats 8. And I only have 6 chairs unless you count some backless, bar stools we have. I can get extra chairs; but my table is pub height so they won't be any good there.

But you made me think....I've lost track of how many step-cousins have kids! I really don't think most would come anyway; since they have other family. But still! Thank the Lord my step-sister only has 1, who is still a toddler.


Thanks for all your advice ladies! I'm going to do some hard thinking the next few days about all this. Maybe work out a tentative menu, with dishes set aside for people to volunteer for, sort of like we do for our church picnics and dinners. But either way; I'm all for disposable china/silverware!
 

nurseangel

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I would suggest buying or borrowing some card or folding tables and chairs to accomodate extra guests. My sil (famous here as a great cat-rescuer
) always gets a crowd at Thanksgiving and that's what she does. Her house isn't very big, so puts the tables in different areas. (I usually sit at the children's table by choice.) Every family brings food and there's plenty to eat.
 
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