Imogen is missing

So I've been spending the past day and a half alternating between crying and worrying. For those who don't remember, I adopted Imogen as a shelter kitty in January, and we've had litterbox problems ever since. About a month ago, it got so bad that...nevermind, I don't want to go there right now.

Suffice it to say that I tried everything. Multiple Feliways. Cat Attract. Four litterboxes. Cleaning the box multiple times a day. Anti-Icky-Poo. Lots of playtime. Litterbox supervision with treats and positive reinforcement. Nothing. She'd do great for a day or two, then I'd come home to find my carpets covered in urine and feces again.

I decided that, as she's an only cat an I'm her only companion, she's likely suffering from separation anxiety while I'm at work or away. I do not want another cat right now, but there are plenty in the neighborhood, so a few weeks ago I started taking her outside with me for short periods of time while I read books, etc. She met the neighbor kitten (minor hissing only), she learned to not be afraid of grass, she came back to me when I called. Everything was wonderful.

So one morning I left her out there before I went to work, coming back multiple times from work to check on her throughout the day. She did wonderfully. This went on for a couple of weeks, and she never strayed farther than the end of the grassy area behind my apartment building. (She had her collar and tag on, of course.)

There were no more accidents in the apartment, and she seemed happy. I was happy. Life was good!

However, when I put her outside Monday morning, maybe something strange happened. That's the last time I saw her. It's now Wednesday noon. She never came home Monday night, and she didn't come home yesterday, either. I've scoured the neighborhood with a flashlight, stayed up late into the night calling her name with smelly wet cat food, plugged the Feliway in outside, asked every neighbor I can, wandered up to five or six blocks away asking local businesses, and I just got back from the downtown printing shop, where I made fliers. I have called Animal Control and the local vets' offices; she's not there. (Though I will go check Animal Control myself later today...I don't trust their description matching system.)

Anyway, I know it was completely irresponsible of me to leave her outside, but I thought she understood it! It was better for me, and both my boyfriend and I noticed that she seemed more confident even in the few short weeks she had been able to be outside. Did she perhaps go too far afield and get lost? If her collar came off, could someone have picked her up as a lovable stray? I just don't know what else I can do...anyone here have any advice?

Please, no reprimands. I know it's all my fault. The guilt is already killing me.

Sorry this is so long, so thanks to all who read it.

Thanks all for the sympathy and advice. I had already read the two articles you posted, but it was good to look through them again. There are quite a few hidey-holes near my apartment, but I checked them all thoroughly, to no avail. (Woodshed, crawl spaces, etc.) I've been checking them every day, and will continue to do so. I went by Animal Control yesterday and put up a flier and checked the cats there. I also put fliers in the local vet's office and the pet supply shop. I've got fliers up in and around the neighborhood, too, of course. Made a craigslist ad, too. I really don't know what else I could do at this point. My best hope is that someone picked her up. If someone did, I predict that they won't want to keep her for very long, what with her litterbox issues, and that she may end up outside again or, hopefully, surrendered to the shelter, which is keeping an eye out for her on my behalf (I live in a small Southern town with a small, very personable shelter, at least relatively. In fact, with all the people I've talked to, it feels like I have half the town looking for her now.)

Anyway, I don't know what else to do, or what to hope for now. I just regret that Imogen and I could never really work out a living arrangement where we could both be happy, between her loneliness and my litterbox frustration. I wish I had the means to put her outside safely. I realize now that I never should have put her outside in the first place, but I was so frustrated that I didn't know what else to do...

Now every time I think about her I can't breathe easily and I get a pinched, tightening feeling in my chest...and I've nearly broken down and cried at work too many times already...

Thanks so much, guys. I really appreciate your kind words. I'm including a picture of her on the night that boyfriend and I brought her home from the shelter (funny faces ftw), and a more recent video of her learning to like her CET toothpaste, lol. Just so y'all can see how cute she is...



Video here:
http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/8977/p1050516.mp4

SHE'S BACK!!!

My neighbors were keeping an eye out for her and one spotted her a couple of days ago in a little field reserved for Saturday yard sales that sits about 2-3 blocks away from the apartment. Said Imogen was sitting there grooming herself, calm as you please. I'd been wondering about that very field, thinking she might be there, and in fact I'd searched it nearly every day since. Guess my neighbor just got lucky, or Imogen was being kept by someone else for a time (my instincts say someone tried to make her their pet, but quickly decided they didn't want her.)

Anyway, she's back home now and inside, with a spiffy new collar and tag, and we're going to try the whole staying-inside-with-supervised-potty-breaks-outside-only thing for now, and see how that works.

She seems perfectly healthy and none the worse for wear from her ordeal. A tad skinny, but nothing extreme. And she was SO happy to see me! She climbed onto my shoulder and didn't let go, and when I got her curled up on the couch she had the happiest floofiest tail I've ever seen and even rolled over on her back to let me pet her stomach while she made air biscuits -- two things she never does!

So thank you, thank you all for the vibes and well-wishes and prayers. I sincerely think they made a difference!