Need some dog/crate advice.

The time has come where I need to buy a crate, I dont particularly care for crates or crate training but all other options have been exhausted and my couch cant take it anymore, honestly neither can I.

Back in May I adopted my moms Golden Retriever, and having grown up with that breed I thought I knew what to expect, well Max just takes the cake. Part of it is my fault, part my moms and part is just the breed and Franklin instigating. Well Max has officially destroyed our expensive, insured sectional couch. We ran to the grocery store last night not even gone an hour and we came back to this....
(This is the cleaned up version, not the horrific mess we actually came home to, I had a big whopping panic attack so didnt think to take pictures till I had cleaned all the stuffing up and starting fixing the black fabric. Basically my living room was covered in stuffing the black fabric ripped off and the cushion cover ripped off)




(That whole side was ripped off)


(That corner was ripped off)


(And there is my poor cushion)


Needless to say things were quite tense in the house last night, Max and Franklin both were sentenced to the front porch while we cleaned all the stuffing up and I bawled my eyes out because I feel responsible for what happened, Im the one who wanted the dogs. While we are home Max is GREAT, I mean the perfect big lap dog who wants love and attention, he is a great brother to Franklin but when we are gone, all heck breaks loose. We dont know if its boredome, seperation anxiety (I think that plays into it), if him and Franklin get roughousing and the couch got in the way because we know Franklin will go onto the top of the couch to play, we are just mystified this is the first time Max (and Franklin he isnt getting off scot-free) has actually destroyed something other than the occasional paper plate or paper towel.

My knowledge of crate training is minimal, basically I know that the crate needs to be seen as a den and not punishment. Im a little unclear on the size I need though sitting down from floor to shoulder Max is 28 inches tall. So I am not completely sure if I need a 36 inch crate or a 42. A lot of other golden owners have said 42. Im thinking Ill go bigger just to be safe because Id rather him have more room than not enough. The crate will only be for times when we leave the house, not over night. Max sleeps on the floor on my side of the bed, I really really really would prefer to not crate him at night. But I need to know how to go about starting crate training. Just toss some treats in and leave the door open all the time to get him to see it as a nice place? Do I feed him in there? Also another question, I have a soft sided crate that was given to me for Franklin, should I start crating him too and crate them in seperate rooms. Franklin is a chewer so I really worry that he will eat thru the soft crate even if its supposed to be 'indestrucable'....So far EVERYTHING we have bought that is supposed to be 'indestrucable' is NOT Franklin proof. That dog can kill a stuffed toy in 5 minutes or less. Also I give them marrow bones or compressed rawhide because they are both chewers. Im not thinking the rawhide would be good for in the crate but a stuffed marrow bone would be ok??? I normally stuffed them with peanut butter and yogurt mixture with a little kibble stuffed in there frozen and they get them as a treat, so if they are crated and we know we are going to be gone for an extended period of time, basically anything longer than what it takes for me to go to and from BFs work they would get their bones. What about toys, can they have their toys and ropes in there to play with and keep them company? Bedding? Yes no maybe???? The both have woobie blankets they sleep with at night so would those be ok in their crates? Also I was thinking since Max is kinda obsessed with my laundry maybe putting in a ratty t shirt Ive worn in there with him to make him feel a little more comfy?!?!


Ugh Im just racking my brain over what to do and to make sure Im doing whats best for them. I just know that my mental state cant take another possibility of walking into the house and seeing what I saw last night. Not to mention how hazardous it is for them (Im on major poop patrol also, checking for any stuffing although with the 2 garbage bags full I doubt they ate any, especially judging by the 5 am poops I checked already) Ugh the stress of being a pet parent.

I can totally empathize with you on this one. DH and I don't like to use crates either, although we had them when our current puppies were young. Based on Max's inclination to chew things up, you should look at a wire crate and avoid the plastic ones.

As far as training him to use that crate, I think your issue is going to be one of making him feel comfortable in there more than anything. Max's behavior of being good when you are home and destructive when you are gone are classic signs of separation anxiety. I have 1 dog (Lola) that had that issue when we adopted her from a shelter at 10 months old. She ate drapes, shoes, remote controls, boxes of kleenex, magazines, etc when we were gone. Thank heavens she never ate the furniture.

If Max stresses while you are gone, he will stress if he is put in a crate while you are gone, particularly if the only time he is in that crate is when you are gone. Unless you address his separation anxiety issues, he will learn to hate the crate because he will relate it to your absence. If you get a crate, I suggest that you use it for times when you are home with her as well as away. Give him hard toys that he is not likely to chew to shreds

With Lola, it was mostly a matter of giving her self confidence and gaining control over her in a positive way. If you work things from both of these angles, it will establish your expectations for him, he will feel part of your "pack", and give him the confidence that he doesn't freak out when you leave.

To give her self confidence, it mostly involved being consistent with what we did with her - setting up a daily routine with her (feeding, walking, play times, etc) so that she knew what to expect from us.

But gaining control had the biggest effect. By gaining control, you are setting up your expectations for him. To gain control, we used a combination of things:
- We have always used the "nothing in life is free" philosophy. Any reward must be earned. This involves small things like making her sit for biscuits, but it also involves more subtle things such as laying down on her rug before we give her her food bowl. If she wants up on a sofa, she has to ask us first. If she wants to be petted, she has to sit calmly next to us. So for example, if she ran up to us and stood on her hind legs begging attention, we would push her away, ask her to sit, and only reward her when she sat. Always reject any behavior you don't want Max to do.
- We established ourselves in the alpha role using techniques that are used in dog packs. This may sound strange to you, but it actually works. A dog will calm down when they understand their "position" in a pack and are best behaved when they recognize you as leader. 1) An alpha always controls the food and always eats first - when fixing their food bowl, stop and take a nibble of something (even if a cracker) before you put the food in front of them. Give them 15-20 minutes to eat then take away the bowl. Never, ever free feed a dog. 2) An alpha always leads the hunt - when taking Max outside, force him to sit as you walk out the door in front of him. Even if you have a fenced yard and are used to opening up the door to let him loose, take the time to do this. If you walk him on a leash, don't let him sled dog you down the street. 3) An alpha decides if the pack should take fight, flight or fright - you can recognize a confused dog when a stranger comes to your dog. If they get very aggressive, they are making the decision to fight. When you see Max making these decisions for himself, reign him in by giving him a time out until he calms down (remove him from the situation). Over time, a simple command to calm down will work (we use the command "chill"). 4) An alpha always chooses who they interact with and when they do it. I suspect Max is all over you when you return home. When you walk through the door, don't go immediately to him, but instead, let him calm down before you even glance at him. When he is calm, reach out and pet him. When you start to do this, it might take them 10 minutes or more to calm down. Over time they will greet you at the door by sitting calmly.

Things like playing on a sofa tell me a couple of things. First, he doesn't understand his boundaries with you. You may allow him on the sofa, but you haven't told him that it is unacceptable for him to play there. If you don't want him to do that, you must be 100% consistent when you stop that behavior. If he doesn't respond to an alternative, then give him a time out. When Lola did this (and she did), we pulled her off the sofa, told her to get her toy, and when she complied with that command, we rewarded her for by playing with her on the floor. If she didn't comply with getting her toy, we ignored her. Boy howdie they learn fast when a reward is given. And remember, a reward to a dog can be as simple as a head scratch, some play time, or just your attention. I found the best reward for a separation anxiety dog is attention, which actually works in your favor if you dole it out only for times they behave. When you use time outs, don't give them negative attention - hold them by the collar and remove them from the room into their time out place. Don't talk to them when you do this.

My Lola has a strong oral fixation and can go through a rawhide in 2 minutes. Soft cloth toys were destroyed in seconds. But through using the above techniques, we have been able to give her soft toys again, as she knows if she leaves them intact, we will play with her with those toys. It took us about 6 months to get her through her anxiety issues, but she hasn't chewed up anything in the house since then.

You can teach an old dog new tricks.

I feel quite a bit better reading that. I'm the animal boss in charge of everything with them. I will have to train bf also because he babies franklin and let's him get away with everything. So BOTH dogs will get the same treatment I think that is going to be hard for both franklin and bf but we are going to work on it. I really don't want to crate train it just doesn't settle in my stomach too well. But if I must I must. Both dogs have territory issues with toys so we take 2 steps forwards and 5 back with integrating toys into their daily activities. Normally they only get them at bedtime but we are trying to eventually get them to share and have them all the time.

Ugh the trials of non cat species haha......atleast half the cushion is sewn back together even if it looks like poo. Our insurance doesn't cover animal damage....as a matter of fact they have so many exclusions to what they do cover technically they don't cover anything so the extra money for the 10 yr coverage basically is junk. Go figure that whole being responsible thing didn't do squat!

Oh my! If you aren't both consistent, one of you will undermine the training of the other. So I guess you'll have to retrain the BF first, eh?

Within a "pack", even if you establish yourself as an alpha, the dogs will still establish a pecking order on their own and you as alpha can influence it. But it can backfire on you if you go about it wrong, particularly if you chose to elevate the status of a dog that is not naturally a stronger willed dog. I have that issue between our dog Lola and a neighbors female dog (Vadar) that spends a lot of time visiting here. Vadar rules the outside and when she comes inside, she expects to do the same. But Lola lives here, and they get grumbly with each other if I don't set the rules. Vadar has learned that if she wishes to visit, she must obey me, no questions asked. That includes not dominating Lola while in the house. When she tries to do it, I physically remove her from the house. Vadar is quite docile now. The neighbors can't figure out how I did it, as she listens to me more than she listens to them. I simply controlled the "fight", and Vadar respects me for it.

If you don't want the bickering between Max and Franklin, establish that rule with them. You want love from me? Don't fight. Nothing in life is free, and I set the rules. It's OK for your BF to favor Franklin over Max, but it not OK to do so in a way that rewards his antagonism towards Max.

They don't really antagonize each other in ways other than brotherly picking on each other. But since we have had franklin bf has pretty much let him get away with anything. I did warn bf that he MUST actually listen to what I say to do if he wanta our house back to normal. So atleast he was receptive to that but he does love his little ankle biter with a passion. I love him too but it is noticable that max is my baby and franklin his. Yet they both act like bumps on a log when bf isn't home like they need the whole family together for everything to be ok. Even right now franklin is off on his cushion with his toys sleeping and max is sleeping almost on top of me. One thing I have noticed also is that max will blatently ignore bf when he tells him to sit or lay down and will look to me for the ok. Max does seem to view me as his alpha he always listens to me when I tell him to sit or anything.


Right now I wish I could borrow your sewing skills haha my poor couch looks so dysfunctional. We are going to try and adust 2 seperate slipcovers to fit our sectional to cover the damage. I wish L shaped (basically double sofa) sectional slip covers were more available.

I can't help you with the crate training itself as Bear was already trained.
But I can tell you that crate training does help tremendously with seperation anxiety.
I can also tell you that using a crate will, eventually be unneccesary.

Bear was destructive, he would eat my screens and had started to work on the door itself.
But I used the crate when we were gone, and while we were sleeping.
He also had a toy that he was only allowed to have while crated.

After a year I never had to lock him in the crate, if he saw us leaving, or it was bedtime, he just went on his own to the crate.
By the second year, he was comfortable enough to not need it, he hasn't been crated since and he hasn't eaten my home.

He was 9 months old when I got him and he is a very active 12 years old now

Ohh, bless him..

Does he get enough exercise? On my cousin's dog case, a chew treat helps..