This weekend = major anxiety for me.

I feel guilty coming here to vent, but I don't quite know what else to do.

This weekend is going to be a difficult one for me. My roommate will be going to an event out of state and, with her, most of my friends will be attending the same event. She leaves tomorrow afternoon and will be back by Sunday evening, but it's still difficult. I tend to have very high anxiety when I'm home alone overnight or for extended periods of time. And, while I will be at work tomorrow afternoon and evening as well as Sunday afternoon, I will be stranded at home on Saturday. And, the fact that many of my friends will be unavailable as well is unsettling.

I know I'll manage, but it can be overwhelming -- especially when my anxiety turns to absolute panic. I was supposed to go to this event as well, but opted to stay home to care for the pets since I am still not 100% physically. I do not drive (due to seizures) and will be stuck home aside from work and I'm just worried that my mind will get the better of me. About a year ago, I had a severe panic attack while my roommate was gone that persisted over the course of days. It was terrible and I wound up in the ER because I was so frightened. I've been alone since and managed, but I still have the fear that my anxiety will be that strong and persistant again.

I feel so pathetic. I'm 27 and afraid to be home by myself for a weekend. My fears aren't rational and I know that, but I think past experiences (including major traumas in my life) make being alone for extended periods of time uncomfortable. I'm even ashamed to be sharing this all here, but it's the truth and I know I can always rely on the members here. I have some plans for myself this weekend that should help take my mind off of things and distract me, but I'm still afraid that the fear will take hold and not let me go. I also have my meds in the case I do have an anxiety or panic attack. But, I don't want to rely solely on medication. I want to be self-reliant, and I am, but it's not always so cut and dry, I suppose.

In any case, I know I'll be okay. I just needed to write about it so that it can take space up here rather than in my head...

I'm the same way. I get very high anxiety when I'm alone overnight. B/c of this, DH has only ever been away from me overnight ONCE in our 13 year relationship, and if it weren't for DS and having to take care of him, I would have been a complete wreck. I ended up staying up until I basically passed out from exhaustion, playing games on my computer. I'm scared of being alone in the dark, so nights are worse for me than days. I can function normally during the day b/c DH isn't usually here with me anyway.

Good luck! I hope you get through it with as little anxiety as possible! ((hug))

Don't be ashamed of your fear. These feelings are very real to you and I'm sure they are disturbing.

Do you have someone you can at least just call to talk to if you get really stressed?

Would it help if you came here and spent some time with our wonderful members? I'm sure that whoever is online at the time would be more than happy to "chat" with you.

Well, dear, if you're feeling sad and lonely...post here! There's almost always a number of people online.

Originally Posted by Yosemite

Don't be ashamed of your fear. These feelings are very real to you and I'm sure they are disturbing.

Do you have someone you can at least just call to talk to if you get really stressed?

Would it help if you came here and spent some time with our wonderful members? I'm sure that whoever is online at the time would be more than happy to "chat" with you.

Click to expand...

If You are on facebook PM me and I will happily give you my name and a link to chat...

I will be in a similar boat this weekend as a the friend who normally comes and takes me out( I also do not drive) is on a mini vacation

With TCS you are never alone.

I hate being home alone to, i know im all the way over in enland but i can PM you my facebook if you like and if you need to chat ill more than likely be on im a night owl

YES!! I understand anxiety and fear, sweetie, it's very real and NOTHING to be ashamed of!!
Im hoping you come here to talk. I hope there is a friend or family member you can call and I hope the pets are very attentive to you and give some comfort. But we'll help you get there the rough times too!!

I'm so sorry hun that you're feeling like this, I too suffer from really bad anxiety, most of it is due to my thyroid problem and I try my best to overcome it but its difficult, TCS has been a medicine to me so yeah when you're home alone, you're not alone really, you have all your friends on here.xx

Like everyone said, you've got lots of people to chat with online. I know it's not the same as having your friends actually physically there, but hopefully we can keep your mind occupied a bit. You'll get through it ok, you'll see. Oh, keep lights on all over the house, too. And maybe turn them off and on every now and then to make sure everyone knows there's people home! I always feel safer when I keep too many lights on when I'm on my own, which is pretty often as BF travels for work a lot.

I do know how you feel - I don't have that anxiety but my mother does, and she has never been able to stay alone in a house at night. But don't forget, there are TCS members all over the world, so we are all in different time zones. The chances are that you cannot be alone for very long on here. I am sure none of us would ignore you if you wanted to chat online at any hour.

At TCS, you're always welcome to share anything, including stresses
It's perfectly alright to feel like that - you weren't born to be Grizzly Adams or some other mountain man. If you get skittish, just remember that the pets will warn you of anyone approaching, and in that case, you can always defend yourself. You are bigger and smarter than any rattlesnake, black widow spider or scorpion, and no one wants to mess with those And do keep us company online!!! Lots of us will love the companionship

Here Alison Ill let my imagination give you a chuckle. Im scared of the dark, like really scared of the dark and my imagination goes WACKY, I have these moments if Im in the house when its dark of a Freddy Krueger/Micheal Myers/Jason type ax murderer climbing over our oil tank which is directly out the window on my side of the bed and carrying me off thru the corn field. Yeah weird but hey after I go off on one of those day dreams I just chuckle at myself because its not real. I also get freaked out driving over bridges too and have mental moments where I picture it collapsing and the car falling thru the air.

I seriously have an over active imagination that drives me nuts. I will willingly admit Im crazy. We all have weird crazy moments that drive us nuts. But you know you always have TCS and we are always here for you. If you feel the need to chat PM me thru here (Ill be checking off my phone thruout the day) and we can chat. I hope this weekend goes ok for you and you find plenty to occupy your mind. You can do some extra cleaning or whatnot, Ive always found that helps keep the mind occupied and passes time rather quickly. Like instead of just running the sweeper like normal, move all the furniture you can and sweep under that go around all the edges etc. The spring cleaning type stuff. Or go for a nice walk and take pictures of pretty scenery or stuff you pass along your way.

Don't forget your meds Allison.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having to take meds to help keep your anxiety under control.

It took a few years, a few battles with those whom are anti-medication, before I realised there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having to take meds for my panic disorder. I have PA back to back, with no room in between which leads to agoraphobia and very little quality of life.

If a med changes my quality of life for the better, then I will take it and live my life. I've been on meds umm, 8-9yrs now, and will always be on them. I've had to accept that, and do accept it now, tho I didn't at first.

I don't know exactly why you choose not to take your prescribed meds, but that is your choice to make I just wanted to strongly say that there is no reason you should feel bad, less of a person, ashamed, etc. for taking a med. You know you're coming up to a situation that causes anxiety attacks, if it were me I would be taking an increase in my meds as quality of life means more to me than being able to say "I did it without a pill" but having repeated PA.

Too many ppl think the PD, SAD, or any type of anxiety disorder is "just in your head" and doesn't warrant medication, etc. ANY mental illness is just as much an illness as say bacterial pneumonia. We'd easily pop a pill for the pneumonia but society has taught us that we are less of a person if we take a pill to stop anxiety or panic attacks.

This is simply not true.

Good luck Alison, I hope you are able to cope well this weekend, and do take your meds if you need it.

I have anxiety too. I see a therapist though, and she does help alot. I recommend the same for you.

I know how hard it is to not feel normal or logical sometimes

Alison, you have meds for a reason. If you need to use them, there's absolutely no reason to feel ashamed. As others have said, there's always someone here to talk to, or on fb. You'll get thru this, hon. Sending loads of calming your way.

I hope you're doing ok tonight and are able to get some rest hun If you need anything, you have my number