is our cat greiving?

Let me get this straight... You put one cat to sleep four days ago and now another hasn't eaten for that many days? Has this cat been to a vet, yet?! This should be what you do instead of coming here! Four days without eating can kill some cats.

This cat must go to the vet today.

I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved cat. It's terrible to see one left behind grieving, and not be able to expalin where her friend is.

I feared losing my Tolly, when he lost his Bibbs over five years ago.

Is she eating anything at all? If not, you'd better get her to the vet now, at the least she will need fluids to counteract dehydration.

As strangewings has said it is very dangerous for a cat to go without food for more than a couple of days.

In time she will adjust to her loss, but spend as much time with her as you can, tell her where her beloved friend is and why. Cats understand more than most people realize.

You can get some Rescue Remedy and rub it on her face or add it to her water, to help her cope, but don't put off the vet if she's not eating.

Welcome to TCS and please keep us posted.

Cats grieve as we do, and of course cannot understand where their lost friend has gone. My Wellington grieved for six weeks after his brother died, ate little, cried all the time and searched the house constantly. Your cat will need as much reassurance as you can give her, lots of attention and monitoring to make sure she is getting as much nutrition as she needs. Sometimes using a pheremone spray like Feliway or Rescue Remedy (from a pharmacy or vet) can help calm a cat in distress. It is hard for you to lose a cat, but just as difficult to see one of your other cats in this state.

A way to tell if she is eating the dry food, is arrange it on a flat plate, or count the kibbles, and then check it when you get home. Maybe, coincidentlally, she has decided she doesn't like what you are feeding her. My experience is if they don't like it anymore, they would starve to death first, before taking another bite of it.

.........

I'm a little alarmed that otto is the only other person to suggest a vet visit and everyone else so readily assumes this is just grieving that has to be waited out. It could potentially be serious illness brought on by stress. Waiting to see if the cat gets sicker or not isn't safe.

The poster said she is eating a little, not sure. It is possible that she wants something different, which I would try first, and then if she is still not interested, we would go to the vet. What does that take, 15 minutes?
I agree, if they refuse to eat everything, the vet is in order before the lack of food affects their liver, which can happen in a matter of days.

I'm glad you are bringing her in. I had to bring Tolly in, too, when he was grieving so badly for his Bibbs. He got a vitamin B-12 shot to help spark his appetite and improve his condition, and taking him out (to the vet) and bringing him back seemed to break the thrall of his grief.

He still looked for Bibbs for months, and he lost a happy go lucky spark that never came back, but he did recover and, except for that tiny spark, and his habit of fretting whenever I take another cat out of the house in a carrier, he became his normal self again. But it did take a full year for him to completely recover.

If possible he was even more devoted to his Ootay, but I handled it better. And so did Ootay. Ootay began weaning herself from him a few months before she left us. She started sleeping more and more in her bathroom bed where Tolly did not join her, so he got used to sleeping without her, and turning to Mazy for cuddling.

On the day I had to let her go I made sure he knew what was happening and let him say good bye. Mazy said good bye too.

Oops, sorry to ramble on about my cats when it's your kitty you're so worried about.

I recommend having blood work done for your girl today. At ten, your cat is senior and you want to know what is going on with her organs. Stress can cause health problems like kidney issues, and as has been mentioned, going without food affects the liver.

Please do let us know how things go.

When Fred's best buddy sneaked out and got hit by a car, I thought we were going to lose him, too. He ate little, howled like his little heart was broken and hid much of the time. Hissy suggested that I sit him down and tell him what happened and that he would be ok. Honestly, I thought it was a little silly, but I did it, anything to try and help my grieving baby. He started eating again almost immediately. He was still sad for awhile, but his life was not in danger from not eating and drinking. He eventually got back to his sweet, loving, happy little self.
On the practical side, a vet visit is probably in order, just to be safe and make sure you do not lose another little friend.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you feel better soon, too.

I'm so sorry to read this. I had a bad feeling from the very first post that this was bad, I hate it when that happens and had really hoped it wasn't so bad or that the gut feeling I had was wrong.

Goodbye poor Swizzle.


Can I ask what your first kitty was PTS for? And if you haven't yet, you could go to the rainbow bridge section and make a thread for the two of them.

Oh no. I am so terribly sorry for your losses. How awful for you.

Did you let all three out? Was there anything inside that they could have gotten into? Any possibility of their food having had a problem with it? (any recalls?)


Yes, the stress from Jaffa could have made Swizzle sick and this sort of thing can happen in older cats a little easier... but Swizzle wasn't that old. I don't like it - I have a suspicious nature and don't really believe in coincidence. I suggest the third kitty get a check up just in case. Better safe than sorry.

I prefer making sure instead of waiting myself. You and your wife discuss it. The peace of mind of knowing for sure that she's well may be worth it to the two of you right now.

And cats know when they've found a good home. I'm sure Twinkle knew she'd get the love and care she needed with the two of you - plus kitten nursemaids.

I really do hope she's well and again I'm sorry for you and your wife's loss.