Need advice?

Originally Posted by LDG

to you and DW for adopting a stray in need! And welcome to TCS.
Thank you.

How old is he? He's neutered?

When we first found him he was just barely weened. We haven't had him fixed yet.

Neither DH nor I had grown up with cats, so when a stray adopted us, we knew nothing about them. When we brought our first rescues inside full time, we quickly learned that cats are contrarians. When we wanted attention from them, the best way to get it was to ignore them.

Well I don't force him to do anything, I occassionally pick him up and give him some attention, pet him, but if he looks like he wants down, I let him go. He mostly wants my attention when I am in the kitchen, go figure. lol Our kids are always holding him, and he is really good with them (okay if you must, carefree), he gets along great with our dog (beagle, Norweigen Elkhound mix). We have kept him indoors mostly, and he took to the little box right off. He has been a great cat (a little spoiled too lol).

Were the affectionate kitties you had growing up born around people and handled by them from a very young age? This tends to predispose them to be affectionate with people, though really, in the end how affectionate they are (or aren't) is really quite dependent upon personality.

Yes most of them were. Most of them came from a Kitten my Father rescued during a storm off a hiway bridge ove the Kaw river. She looked like they tried to throw her over and she clawed her way back up. She had a little that we kept most of them, so they are the ones I remember most.

Sounds to me like he's a good little fella, perhaps still adjusting to his new life of love and luxury after having to defend for himself for a while. ????

Yes, he is a very good little guy(well not so little anymore). I don't think he was on his own very long. From what I understand, from my wife and a neighbor she talked to, someone had dumped off the mother cat, and her kittens.

DH and I have since done a lot of rescue work, and our first few years, we did a fair bit of fostering. Working primarily with ferals and not strays, we found that allowing them to do things in their own time worked best long term, rather than trying to force ourselves on them. Your little guy sounds like he's very tolerant.

Yes, I think that is the main quality I admire most about him.

My guess is that he's still adjusting. Cats are very territorial animals, and it sounds like there's a reasonable amount of activity and people in your home. That, in my opinion, likely adds to the time he needs to feel fully comfortable in "his" space. He doesn't "own" it yet. He likely may still be feeling a little overwhelmed and is actually still transitioning. That he's good with the kids and allows your wife to get him and perhaps love on him is quite encouraging, actually!

Well you can tell he is very happy, he doesn't appear to be very skiddish about anything, and he is very active, and playful (it is such a pleasue to watch cats play. lol)

My thoughts at this point are that you may want to give your kitty his space... he'll come around.

All of our kitties all got more affectionate as they got older. DH predicted that the toughest of our bunch would become a lap kitty this year (after 8 years). He sure is seeking out love and pets in abundance. DH has three months left to make his prediction of six years ago come true.

This is kind of what I am thinking/hoping too.