"Wedding apparel" question...

I'm invited to a friend's wedding next month, and, I'll be honest, I was hoping to get away with a polo shirt and casual shoes. A fuddy-duddy friend of mine informed me that I need to in fact wear a shirt and tie, and a more formal shoe.

I'm not the one getting married, for god's sake. And it's not a church wedding, it's in some golf clubhouse.

Thoughts?

What time of day is the wedding? Also, do you know someone else who is going? If so, try to get some ideas what others are wearing. A golf club doesn't necessarily mean casual. I have been to weddings in places other than churches and some of them were quite formal.

Originally Posted by Keycube

I'm invited to a friend's wedding next month, and, I'll be honest, I was hoping to get away with a polo shirt and casual shoes. A fuddy-duddy friend of mine informed me that I need to in fact wear a shirt and tie, and a more formal shoe.

I'm not the one getting married, for god's sake. And it's not a church wedding, it's in some golf clubhouse.

Thoughts?

Click to expand...

IMO, we went to a cousins wedding 2yrs ago, it was also on a golfcourse/clubhouse.

My hubby work dress slacks, his only "good" pair of shoes (not fancy dress shoes, but not hikers either) and a solid coloured polo type shirt. He was dressed about the same, if not slightly more "fancy" than some of the other non-immediate family guests.

What time is the wedding? followed by a reception? Honestly, I think it'd be nice (and you'd look great) in a nice sports coat, nice pants, leather shoes, and have a tie that you could take off at the reception - if it's relatively informal. Otherwise, a suit would be good.

Weddings at country clubs can be quite formal - do you know the groom's attire? That might give us a clue as to how formal the affair is.

Hell, the groom doesn't even want to be there, doesn't that mean something?

It's at 4:30. Squarely in the midst of polo-shirt time, ya know.

Unless the wedding is on the beach, you DRESS up in something decent - at least put on a nice shirt and slacks with matching shoes. You don't have to wear a tie, but a jacket should be worn.

At the reception you can take off the jacket. Doesn't matter if you are the groom or not - and be glad you are not cause you would be wearing a full tuxedo

My nephew and niece (in-law?) got married last year at a golf resort in VA. The wedding was right around 4:00 in the afternoon and it was very formal, even though it was an outside wedding. DH wore his suit; he wasn't happy about it, but he did fit right in with what the others guests were wearing.

Oh thank God I'm not a bridezilla.
I don't even plan to dress formal for my own wedding, why should I make Jake or my guests do so?

I would opt for the dress shirt and tie! Even with the time of day. And then if no one is wearing a tie, take it off and stash it in a pocket!

When I got married in May one of my husband's friends wore a polo shirt and slacks and stood out like a sore thumb. All of the other men present had on either suits or at least a shirt and tie. Our wedding wasn't exactly formal (DH wore a suit not a tux, and I wore a dress but not a gown) but everyone else showed up looking very nice. I would check with whoever it is you are going to the wedding for (bride/groom) and find out what they think you should wear.

Honestly, if you aren't going to be in family pictures, and you're comfortable wearing a polo, then wear a polo. I always see varying degrees of formality at all the weddings I go to. Maybe you could take a sport coat to put on over the polo if you get there and feel very under dressed.

Do you know anyone else that's going? You could ask what they plan on wearing.

Originally Posted by Keycube

Hell, the groom doesn't even want to be there, doesn't that mean something?

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Yeah, it means something, just nothing good.

I know you want to hear that it's okay to wear a polo shirt, but frankly, it's just not. I've seen people wear casual clothes to weddings, and they always look out of place, and IMO, disrespectful. Of course, they're not going to kick you out, but most likely you'll look out of place and under-dressed. I guess it all depends on if that would bother you.

We were married in jeans and t shirts and Everyone was more dressed up then us. I stressed casual

I would show up how you planned to as long as you wouldnt feel to out of place if your the least dressed. And theres not strict dress code enforced at the club.

If you wear dressier pants, nice shoes, and a casual jacket over the polo, you might be able to pull it off. Otherwise, you will be "that guy" at the wedding that everyone talks about and nobody wants to sit with, who stands out to everyone as someone who doesnt belong - you might even get asked embarassing questions like where the washroom is, when youre bringing out more snacks, if youre changing the music soon etc. etc. The weddings Ive been to at country clubs (3) have been more formal than the ones Ive gone to in churches, because it is expected you dress more formal than someone just visiting the club would do, and you cant visit the club without at LEAST wearing a polo and decent pants/shoes. If its a major issue for you to dress up, I would actually recommend not going, so you dont cast a negative sheen on someones wedding day. As others have stated, the safest thing to do is ask the groom directly for a dress code, and then go along with it.
IMO, it is better to be overdressed (cant say Ive ever seen this with a man) at a wedding than underdressed.

Shirt and tie with decent slacks and reasonably nice shoes( now where I grew up a bolo tie and cowboy boots would be considered dress attire )

Couldn't you ask your friend what dress would be appropriate? Perhaps they won't mind you wearing a polo shirt.

I agree, you should wear a dress shirt, sports coat and tie. You can take the tie and coat off at the reception.

At our wedding most men wore a jacket and tie (a few 3 piece suits, but not many) although one man did show up in overalls. But they WERE his "good" overalls! We didn't care...we expected it from him. Hey, it's West Virginia...what do you expect?

I agree with the posters who said ASK! Did the invitation say anything on it like "formal", "semi-formal," etc. That will tell you what level to dress at as well.

A dear friend of mine found love late in life and married in her 50s. The wedding was held at a local hotel. She is a stickler for these kinds of things so I knew we had to dress nice eventho' it was a late afternoon event.

I wore a suit, high heels and a silk blouse. I made my boyfriend wear a suit, tie, dress shirt and dress shoes. And we were right in step!

If you don't get an answer from your friend(s) I would also agree, at least put on a sport coat over the more casual duds. I am NOT a stickler for these things, but if it were MY wedding and someone showed up dressed for "casual Friday", I would be offended that someone didn't bother to make an effort to look good on my special day. It's a GIRL thing for the most part.

Absolutely - just ask the groom, assuming he's a friend!

You'd have loved our wedding. I wore flip flops and a cotton dress, Gary wore jeans and his steel toed Harley boots.

I say dress up, look nice, feel nice, and have a great time for that short time in your life.