Amadeus died tragically and unexpectedly after sustaining a dog bite. At first glance, I thought it was just a scratch on his tail, it wasn't bleeding (it had been, but wasn't when I saw it), and I didn't move the hair out of the way to see how bad it was. The vet just said to keep an eye on him. 3 days later, he was vomiting and not moving much. I took him to the vet, and they looked closer at the wound site, which was a dog bite at the base of his tail that went all the way to the bone. They cleaned it out, and gave him a shot of antibiotic. The vet seemed concerned but was glad I brought him in when I did. He said that he should be fine, but to bring him in the following week if he wasn't in a few days. He seemed to be very still and unmotivated to move but I thought it was just the antibiotics working on him, much like when you get a cat their yearly shots they get kinda sleepy all day. The next morning, he was dead. I saw him take his last breath but I didn't believe it. I rushed him to the vet even though he wasn't breathing/responsive at this time. The vet seemed surprised. I guess he just got an infection that was too much for him to bear.
I was distraught and inconsolable. I think Amadeus meant more to me than any human on this earth. I felt so guilty, like I should have paid more attention and looked closer to make sure he was ok, or just taken him to the vet regardless. I still feel guilty. This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to cope with.
Amadeus left behind a brother, Sebastian. Sebastian is very loving and affectionate towards me and has really helped me through this. I haven't cried this hard in a while over it, and I think part of the healing process is writing about it. I want to scrapbook my favorite pictures and memories of Amadeus, but every time I think about it, I start to cry. I have his ashes in a beautiful wooden box beside my bed.
Amadeus has been gone for 2 months, and it is not any less painful. I know someday it will get easier. Sebastian has been a wonderful kitty though. 3 weeks ago a random stray kitten ran into my apartment... so affectionate, cuddly, and the two of them get along ok. A sign from God? A sign that He wants me to move on and stop hurting? Maybe...
R.I.P. Handsome man... I love you, and miss you dearly, and look forward to the day when I'll see you again and get to hold you in my arms.
I was distraught and inconsolable. I think Amadeus meant more to me than any human on this earth. I felt so guilty, like I should have paid more attention and looked closer to make sure he was ok, or just taken him to the vet regardless. I still feel guilty. This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to cope with.
Amadeus left behind a brother, Sebastian. Sebastian is very loving and affectionate towards me and has really helped me through this. I haven't cried this hard in a while over it, and I think part of the healing process is writing about it. I want to scrapbook my favorite pictures and memories of Amadeus, but every time I think about it, I start to cry. I have his ashes in a beautiful wooden box beside my bed.
Amadeus has been gone for 2 months, and it is not any less painful. I know someday it will get easier. Sebastian has been a wonderful kitty though. 3 weeks ago a random stray kitten ran into my apartment... so affectionate, cuddly, and the two of them get along ok. A sign from God? A sign that He wants me to move on and stop hurting? Maybe...
R.I.P. Handsome man... I love you, and miss you dearly, and look forward to the day when I'll see you again and get to hold you in my arms.
