Deaf kitty not working out - sad to find her new home

So, About 2 months ago I adopted a 7 year old deaf kitty (Meda). She's so beautiful, sweet, snuggly and gentle... as long as you are her minion and not competition. She does not get along with my resident kitty at ALL (Cail).

I have tried:

1) Baby gates, she sleeps in my room with litter, food and water. Sleeps using me as her mattress at night. When I am not home, she stays in my room, but when I am home, I let her wander the house.

2) Feliway both defusers and spray, Rescue Remedy and prescriptions

3) Food dishes on either side of gate, fed at the same time. Played interactive games with them through the gate. Given lots of snuggles and petting and treats together.


Honestly, I don't know what else I could do/have done. I know some people say it could take up to 6 months, but I feel that this would be cruel to both her, and to Cailan. It's not right to keep them both in such an aggitated state all the time. So I'm going to try to find her a good home.

I worry though. I want to make sure her home would be as good/better than the one she has here. I want to make sure she gets snuggled, and played with, she's very snuggly and likes to bring presents (I have been brought shirts, socks, wash cloths, towels, little toy mice, gloves.. you get the idea), and she's so sweet and gentle. She likes to bat at your hands, and when she catches it, she pulls it close, naws, and then licks your whole hand.. she likes the licking.. it's very annoying, but adorable. She LOVES the laser pointer and string and straws. Obsessed with straws.

So, how do I go about finding someone?

Or do you think there's any hope? Anything I haven't tried to get her to calm down and accept there is another cat in the house and not to go after him and scratch him?

Andromeda's deaf, so not having face to face isn't a good idea. I have the baby gates so she can get used to having another cat around.

She just goes after him every time she sees him and he's had up to 5 scratches already. Cailan's such a curious little guy (He's half her size) that even when she does that, he's tramatized for an hour or so and then gets over it. Though this morning he was kind of slinking around still, I'll have to see how he is tonight when I get home. If he's still slinking around or if he's back to his playful self.

They both love to play, I can see Cailan wanting to play with her when she's tossing stuff around and chasing things only her and Cailan can see (apparently I have gremlins or fairies or something, cause they both rip down the hallway after nothing). She just really doesn't like having another cat around, and i think it's worse because she can't hear him, but he doesn't sneak up on her or anything. He pretty much just wants to be left alone.

I guess my question is, what is a collar going to do that Feliway spray/defuser, Rescue Remedy and prescriptions haven't already tried?

I just think it's mean to both of them that they have to live like this. She's shut up in my room all day until I get home and can let her out. And he gets scratched. I don't want his personality changing because she scares him so much. so far it's been okay, but... I dunno I find it mean to them to keep them in a situation that aggitates them.

I'll try the collars. I'll give it another month, but there has to be SOME improvement. So far it's kind of hit or miss if she'll go after him, and I can't have that. I can't have him scared to get off the fridge.

I don't like people who get animals and give htem back. Believe me. I didn't get her from a shelter, and I won't put her into a shelter. I'll find someone who will give her a lot of love and play with her and allow her to be the princess she seems to think she is. I think it's mean she had to get taken from a home she's known for 7 years and moved around twice and all, but I don't know what else to do. I have to be fair to Cailan too, and while I personally don't mind it being difficult and introducing them with help and keeping them seperated and such, I don't think it's fair to Cailan to have him get beat up when he wants to eat.

Also, she seems to eat when she's stressed. She'll eat, and then throw up immediately afterwards. This can't be healthy.. I dunno what to do about it. I try only feeding her now once a day in the morning, but she doesn't eat all the food, so if she sees Cail through the gate, she'll start eating.. She's done this 4 times so far.. .Eaten and thrown up...

I'm sad. I've always wanted a deaf cat. They're so beautiful

I've been trying to, though I realized last nigh I should have clipped them a few days ago. I have soft paws too I'm going to put on her if I can get them on her *heh* Or I'll have the vet do it.

I have baby gates up, so they can see one another. Their food dishes have been on opposite sides of the door for the last few months and I play interactive games and give them treats together.

Meda doesn't like having her nails even clipped, so I'm not so sure she'll allow me to do soft paws. I had to practically sit on her to clip her nails the few times I've done it. I hold her between my legs and lean over her, she doesn't much like it. It's just her left hand for some reason. I can do her right, and she just lays there, but her left she does not like

I'm going out to get the collars tonight. I really don't care if they like one another *HEH* I know that sounds horrible, but if they stayed away from one another, that's prefectly fine by me. I just want Andromeda to stop charging and scratching Cailan's face. He has had at least 5 scratches, one that was pretty bad and I was going to take him to the vet but it healed up perfectly and you can't see it now. He stays on top of the refridgerator and watches, but when he comes down, if Andromeda is around she'll charge him.

I'm very thankful that he doesn't seem phased by it at all. Just stays away when he thinks she's out. When I get home from work, though, he's his usual cherry playful self. We played for about an hour last night with some string, it was fun.

He's a "mama's boy" for true. Loves being snuggled and laying in my lap, which he won't do because Andromeda is also rather possessive of her new human and tends to sleep on my foot when I'm sitting in a chair. He's come over and I've had them both sleeping on me from time to time, which worked well as long as Meda didn't wake up. *HEH*

I'll try to collar and give it a shot. Really, I'll try anything not to have to give her up. I'd LOVE to get the two of them playing together. You'd think two playful cats would like playing together... the brats! They both enjoy chasing invisible things, they could bond over it, and yet, Andromeda insists on "protecting" her human from the vicious tiny kitty that's half her size and has never hissed a day in his life til she came along (haha). I really think that's what it is, honestly, she's being protective of herself, and jealous of him getting pets from me. She does like to bring me "gifts" and I know in cat language that's a sign of affection, sooo... yeah

OKAY! Collar today. I shall report back in a few weeks.

Here's hoping!

Howtoholdacat: Thanks. I really am trying very very hard. I feel bad for both of them, to be put in this situation. I knew it would be a struggle, the foster woman I got Andromeda from told me that she liked to be an Alpha (though I think it's more than that) but she also said that Andromeda had been originally put in a room with another cat and they got on just fine. So I thought maybe it was just that she had 7 cats. I'd be freaked if I was Andromeda too.

But maybe that's not the case. I know deaf kitties take a bit more to get used to things, what with being deaf and all. Sometimes I wonder if she can hear higher pitched sounds though. There's been whistles on the TV that's she's responded too, but she doesn't respond to any lower pitched noises like a voice. Very strange.

Thank you!

And thanks about the info with the hearing certain noises. She doesn't respond to things like banging, or shouts or anything like that, but strangely, yesterday I was on my bed, she was laying on my lap getting a very nice back scratch which she refused to let me stop, when Cailan went to eat some food on the other side of the gate. Now, you can't see where his food is from my bed, and her head was turned away from the door, but as soon as the "CRUNCH" sounded, she knew he was there...

Strange right?

I swear it almost took an act of GOD to get that collar on her. And she isn't happy... Was it supposed to have white flakey stuff on it? Cuase it doesn't anymore *HEH* IT was amazingly difficult getting it on her, she was not happy. Literally she was between my legs, I had a hold on the back of her neck and there was much growling and trying to get away but eventually I got it. She's trying to get it off. We'll see if she's Houdini!Cat like Cailan is, who can take non-breakaway collars off and hide them (I swear this cat has no bones) So far.. well Cailan's not on the ground so I can't say.

We'll see. I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks everyone who's been such a big help I really am grateful. I joined the deaf cat list on Yahoo. We'll see if they can give me any news.

Collar on her... OMG!!!!! I have Cailan in my lap and Andromeda on my feet, her eyes dilated but she didn't do ANYTHING. She's done that FOUR TIMES since the collar but HAS NOT ATTACKED!

Oh.. I really hope this isn't an isolated incident. I really really really hope!!!!

and MAN that collar is strong, *I* can smell it

Feliway did NOTHING for either of my kitties. But seriously I hope it's the collar. Course it took an act of GOD to get it on her. She fought me the whole way! She wasn't happy

I'm always worried about it being too tight *heh*

We'll see over the weekend if it was just isolated or if the collar really is calming her down. She looked like she wanted to pounce him a few times but never did. Once she ran after him, well jumped from my chair to the arm of the couch where he was sitting, and he hissed at her and swatted, but no blood was drawn and she didn't do the boxing moves like she ususally does