Need some advice

I am guessing there are very few people who have had this problem, but any input is so greatly appreciated.

My mom is a fighter. I mean, she would fight with a stump just to fight with it and argue all day and night until she fell asleep, then she'd wake up, make a pot of coffee and go at it again. I live with her, have all my life, and I'm not moving due to my owning half this house and it'll be mine one day, and I'll have a house paid for, and I love my house to boot.

So, problem is, Mom can't "talk" to people. She yells and sounds very brash to begin with. We're already screwed up the possibility of talking to our neighbors directly across the street (we live at a dead end in a neighboorhood built in 1975, excuse the typos, I put on dollar tree fake nails last night for the heck of it and I'm having extreme issues typing lol)
It started out as the neighbor woman having her boyfriend come over in his tractor trailer (Rig only) and parking it in front of our house, at the dead end, on his side of the street. They asked if it was ok with us. we said sure. Well, this guy was a nasty mess and dropped trash in the road (Which my mother spent 4 hard long years getting paved by the state DOT and trust, it was a hard battle with those people) We like to keep our roads clean, you know? We're proud of the work my Mom got done.
So that battle went on until he brought TWO rigs down here and parked them side by side, on my side of the street and his. It escalated to more trash, more arguing, cops being called, to the point where you can't just talk to them, they just yell at us in return. I talk calmly but I've never taken the chance, I would just call the law. Needless to say, while trying to take care of Boo and do my third shift job, this has put me on meds to keep sane.
So now, after a few other really penny ante things, a new neighbor has moved in up the street and also drives a truck. They've made friends with our neighbor, and they've told him he could park his truck in front of our house.
Important to note it's not blocking my mailbox, or my driveway per say, we can get out alright. Mom's intent on calling the Sheriff again, and I'm just not in the mood to deal with it. I am at my wits end here. I am in the process of getting a 50C (Civil No Contact Order) drawn up on the across the street neighbors due to their 13 year old teen boys calling me mother some really derogatory names.
I know the Sheriff will tell her there isn't anything they can do, he's not blocking the right of way, though it is questionable why he's parking all the way down here, halfway down the street from his house and not up at his house. I have nothing against truckers by the way, I work with them on a daily basis and most are great guys.
I am just clueless. When she talks to the Sheriff, she goes on and on and on and they get annoyed with her. So I have to do it, get my point across clearly and quickly and leave it at that. We've had better experiences with me doing it than her. Anyway. Last night he parks it (I was at a friend's house) and when I come home she says she told the guy he can't park there. Guy says the neighbors told him he could. She told him he'd have to move it by in the morning but it's still out there. I said Mom, he's not running it at all hours, and as long as he's not littering in the street like the other guy (Who doesn't come by anymore) what's the problem, really? SHe said he was really nice. I hate to have to have ANOTHER neighbor that we've started a fight with. Seems he moved it down here because another neighbor up the other way got fed up and wanted it moved. So here we are.

And she's calling them right now. I have to go to work tonight, I need sleep, I don't know what to do about this. Let me make this very clear: My mother cannot be told No. I can't tell her not to do something, then I get turned on. It's one of those... rock and a hard place. I go through my xanax way quicker than I'm supposed to, you know?

Nothing's happened to us or our property but I'm very concerned that sooner or later someone's going to get fed up with this and do something. THAT is a crime and they can be arrested, but I don't want it going that far.

As far as the truck and the laws, if he's not blocking a throughway, nothing cops can do. If he's blocking a fire hydrant, we've been told the firetruck will shove his truck straight into the woods and the owner of that truck will be liable for all damages to the firetruck.


So, what the heck should I do? I am so lost, so tired of this, ... I want to be a recluse..... *sigh*

Since there's no legal recourse (and your mother does understand this, right?), perhaps you could spin the situation into a positive, like, say, by convincing her that strangers might be less apt to mess with your house/property if a semi is parked next to your house ("Hmmm, is that rig occupied or not? Best not risk it"). Convincing her that it could be a "plus" would likely motivate her to get on good terms with the neighbors, as now she would see them as an asset, as opposed to a liability.

I've tried that, believe me I have. We were both very happy to have them there as it made us feel much safer at night. But now that they've trashed our yard and street with junk food wrappers and soda cans, Mom just snapped. But this guy isn't running it constantly or anything. I just wish I could find a way for her to leave it be.

Or worst case maybe I can somehow detach myself from the situation... that's what I've been trying to do, and if I do get a chance to talk to any of them one on one (without Mom, she's.. wow... O.O) I could probably smooth it over. I dunno. It's just stressful :T Technically they're not supposed to park down here, Ill get in touch with DOT as I'm sure there is an axle limit on a residential pavement.

Thanks

Ha. Had to update -- the neighbor called me. Not the neighbor with the truck mind you, but the neighbor we've been having problems with for years. Luckily I got the phone before Mom did. We talked very cordially for awhile about wanting all of "this" (tit and tat, kids screaming derogatory names) to stop, and both agreeing on it. She said she wanted me to come to her door if there were anymore problems and she would take care of them. We both apologized for certain things, but towards the end of the phone call she made a veiled threat:
"I don't want anyone to get hurt or anything to happen,"
I said, "Excuse me? Did you just threaten me?"
"No, no no! I mean hurt feelings, I don't want anyone else to get hurt over this stuff."
I said, "Let me make it very clear that I would never harm your animals, your property nor anyone in your family over something like this. This is for us to work out or the Sheriff, either way."

I couldn't believe she said that. And perhaps she didn't mean it the way it came out (I give people way too much benefit of the doubt so I am watching myself closely here) but I declined her offer to come to her door and asked for her phone number instead. I also told her never to speak to my mother because it would come to no good end, and only end up in an argument. If she wanted to have a civil conversation she was best to talk to me. She initially called because she wanted to know why the Sheriff was called and talked to her about a tractor trailer that doesn't even belong to her. I told her I didn't tell them to talk to her, but to talk to the guy who owns it up the street.


This has no way stopped anything, I'm sure, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Need some crossed fingers from you guys that hopefully this will quiet down.

She did go so far as to say "You're mom is making me want to move, seriously."

I thought Lord I've been praying that prayer.........

Anyway. thanks for listening to my penny ante rant

P.s. [edit] I called the Sheriff's office to report the veiled threat and they won't contact the neighbor over it, but at least it's on record just in case ...

Wow! So much petty drama. May not be what you want to hear, but that's how I see this entire situation.

Your neighbours kids called you names? Have you heard the expression "sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" There is a reason for that saying. It's true.

Your neighbours neighbour has started parking his big rig next to your house because his neighbour gave him second hand permission to, because you had given him permission to park his truck there. Permission is permission. Make nice about the whole situation. Go talk to the new guy and tell him it's ok if he parks his truck there, but ask if he could please keep the area clean and free of garbage. Maybe supply him with a trash can nearby that he can use when he cleans out his truck. Or ask if he can clean out his truck at his own house or a gas station before parking it.

So far as the veiled threat. There was no threat. She meant what she said about hurt feelings. You called the sheriff about that? Sorry, but they must have had a good laugh about that because this whole thing sounds like a G rated version of the Hatfields and McCoy's.

Is your Mom over reacting? Yes, big time. But to be honest, so are you.

There are worse things in the world to worry and fret about than your neighbours kids calling you names or your neighbour's neighbour parking his truck by your house.

So much stress! Make sure you take care of yourself, all this stuff you are going through can cause some real health damage.

My advice is to choose your battles. Forget about where the new guy parks his truck. If it's legal there's nothing that can be done. But before doing that, I would go talk to the guy who moved in up the street. Be your kind self and introduce yourself (if you haven't already) and tell him he can park wherever it's legal and btw you didn't give the other neighbor any kind of permission or not. Warn him about your mom and tell him you want to have a good-neighbor relationship with him.

As far as the other neighbor, I don't know what her tone of voice was but it's very possible she was not trying to threaten you. She might have been sincere in what she said, she might really not want anyone else to get hurt. (For the record, I probably would have reacted exactly like you did.) But keep the good gestures going and give her the benefit of the doubt. Keep talking to her. She is going to want to talk to you instead of your mother, so keep the lines open. You will no doubt have to continue cleaning up the messes your mother makes.

You are a very good daughter.

Thank you Swamp witch

i live in So.Cal and we had a trucker that would start his rig up and let it run 6-10hrs at a time. then another neighbor told me that it supposedly was broke and the guy was trying to save up the $8000 he needed to fix it. but he still started it up and let it run for hours. i checked with the local ordinance and found out it was against city ordinance to park a vehicle of that size at any time in the neighbor hood. so i called the code compliance dept. and 3 days later it was gone. haven't seen it in almost 2 years.

Thanks Goonie.

Upon further reflection the phone call it seems that all may be calmed down for now. Around here I don't approach people with the problems face to face, because you never know what could go down. I'm just overly cautious (and yes, perhaps slightly paranoid, I am somewhat of a recluse) but hopefully the phone call settled stuff for now. There's always two sides so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt here and assume she feels as we do, that she's being "bullied" as much as we felt we were (Mom just doesn't take nothing offa no one, she's not an easy person to live with)

Sorry for bothering you guys with this. I just really had no where else to turn. <3

Don't feel bad, you need to vent some. You've been through some crap lately...

Originally Posted by threecatowner

Don't feel bad, you need to vent some. You've been through some crap lately...

Click to expand...

I don't have anything useful to contribute, but here's a hug....