Need advice approaching a problem with our elderly neighbor.

I need some ideas/advice how to handle this situation: Our elderly neighbor lady has started driving through our yard again to get to her parking spot in front of her house. She has a dirt, L shaped driveway that gets one big mud puddle in it when it rains. So I see why she would do it....but it's putting grooves in our yard. How would you approach it?

When her family comes, they make her driveway into a T shape and park next to or behind the house; so there is no reason she couldn't pull in straight; then back up. Except that I don't think she is a very skillful driver anymore. But that wouldn't avoid the mud. We live on a somewhat busy country road and I've seen her pull onto the "shoulder" (someones yard) to let people pass her. The poor thing works like 2 or 3 fast food jobs. Life has obviously been difficult on her so it seems parking right in front of the front door is physically a relief for her. She can be sweet; but annoying too. (I'm ashamed to admit I find her annoying...I think it's more that I believe her kids and grandkids should be doing more for her...like we do for my grandparents! Like filling in the pot holes in her driveway so she doesn't have the mud puddles so bad. But that's almost another topic...) I've suspected her mind may be drifting at times. Just from observing similar behaviors to my grandmother who has dementia.

We do plan on planting shrubs and putting a split rail fence up in the near future. I know she couldn't have been doing this with her old neighbors because she claims they were racist and didn't let her set a foot near the property line. She did this some last summer after we moved in; but I thought she'd stopped so we never approached her about it. I think I asked for advice here last summer too. But now that time has passed I'm afraid it makes approaching it a little more tricky. I don't want to alienate her. I wish we were rich; I'd just have her driveway fixed for her!

Put up a fence.

Or.... do what I would do. Drive over her lawn!

Hehe....but then MY car would get muddy too! (Just thought of this; but from what I can see; her driveway is not muddy enough for her to get stuck. Doesn't look deep enough for that either. Could be wrong I suppose.)

DH and I are going to be fencing the backyard sometime in the next year before LO is looking to run free back there. What I want to do is put a split rail fence up, more for decoration, down that side of the driveway. And plant a couple lilac bushes there.

You can always go to a hardware store and get some cheap wire fencing. You can also go and find some large boulder/stones that you can put in the area where she has been driving. Maybe put up an old picnic table there....anything to block her ability to drive across the area in question.

Also, she is doing it because she did it once and no one said anything to her, so now she keeps doing it knowing that no one will say anything to her. If you really want her to stop, tell her to stop because it's ruining your yard and let her know that your yard isn't a drive way. You aren't responsible for how she feels after you tell her. If she is upset, those are her feelings, not your fault.

We teach people how to treat us. If you continue to not say anything you are in a sense giving her permission to keep driving over your lawn.

I like the picnic table idea. Just something cheap but looks like you just really wanted something there for decoration and use. Maybe a small playground type thing?
It would be best to just approach her and speak to her about it, but something in her way should get the point across!

I agree with the others, tell her in a nice way to stop. If she doesn't, then put up a barrier of some kind as others mentioned as well. I have no other ideas.

At our old house we had neighbours that used our lawn as their personal parking lot. We put a short railed fence down the side of our yard. They were upset about it at first but they got over it.

Our neighbors were using our yard as a parking lot. We bought those really cheap plastic stake solar powered lights and stuck them in every foot. Cheap, quick, and easy. If she runs them over, then you've got a reason to go say something, but you didn't lose much money!

This is similar: http://www.bizrate.com/landscape-lig...921624812.html

I don't remember the name of the ones we bought, but we found them at a local hardware store, boxes of 6 for $15.

I was thinking of going to Lowes/Homedepot and buying some metal stakes and pound them in the ground about 2-2.5 feet apart. You could get some tall rebar and do the same thing.

Does her driveway need to be filled in or raked smooth? If there is a local senior center sometimes they have volunteers help do yard/home fix ups for free.

Originally Posted by GailC

I was thinking of going to Lowes/Homedepot and buying some metal stakes and pound them in the ground about 2-2.5 feet apart. You could get some tall rebar and do the same thing.

Does her driveway need to be filled in or raked smooth? If there is a local senior center sometimes they have volunteers help do yard/home fix ups for free.

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Her driveway does need fill. I was talking about this on FB and Heather suggested that she's seen people giving away fill dirt and what not on craigslist for free. If she can get her kids/grand kids to do the work; DH and I are willing to borrow my step-dad's truck and haul stuff for them if necessary. I want to be a good neighbor; but not be walked all over either. I'll mention the senior center idea to my mother. Her church might be able to help too.

I wish I only had a little old lady to worry about. I agree with the fencing idea if you can do that. It sounds like she may be driving on your right of way? We have lots of issues with right-of-way stuff here, we can't put boulders or fences out at the edge of the road, they have to be 30 feet away from the center of the road and what not. Our utility company has an easement for that area in case they need to bury lines or whatever.

Talking to her may just upset her... but I don't know *shrugs* Around here, I've only ever had bad experiences trying to (very sweetly) talk to people about something they are doing that is bothering us. They become inflammatory very quickly and so all I do is call the law.

But talking is always recommended first. I agree with the fence idea, that sounds like the best. I feel badly for her too that her kids won't help her fix her driveway. And asking around about a senior center that may help would be great too.

I'd warn her now that you are going to do some landscaping in that area some time in the future, and she will need to start driving on her property only. Ask her if she needs help getting her driveway repaired and offer to make some phone calls to see if you can get some people out to help her. If she's a nice person, she'll be happy that someone cares about her, and probably won't suspect that part of the reason you want to put landscaping there is to block her out. Therefore no alienation of a neighbor.

Originally Posted by Momofmany

I'd warn her now that you are going to do some landscaping in that area some time in the future, and she will need to start driving on her property only. Ask her if she needs help getting her driveway repaired and offer to make some phone calls to see if you can get some people out to help her. If she's a nice person, she'll be happy that someone cares about her, and probably won't suspect that part of the reason you want to put landscaping there is to block her out. Therefore no alienation of a neighbor.

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You took the words out of my mouth. Thats pretty much exactly what I was going to say.