multi cat house

I just wrote a really long reply to your thread with very detailed explanation of what to do and hit a wrong button and lost it all. I am so sorry, I'll try again.

The bottom line is, you need to separate your two kitties together in their own room and start over. Cats are all about territory, and you have to help them by giving them the time they need to work out a peaceful co-existence.

This is done be giving the "new" kitties their own space (a separate room), and giving them the time to make it their territory. While they're settling, you focus on scent swapping (coming to associate each other's scents with "good" things they love, like food), and co-mingling scents (swapping beds) so they get used to each other's scent in "their" respective territories.

When you have your kitties set up in the separate room, because your male was digging at the corners, get some cardboard boxes, cut them down so they lay flat, and put them there. It's a surface he'll probably like scratching on anyway and stops the carpets from being ruined. But do spend as much time in there as you can - make sure they're not bored.

When you've got them set up, focus on creating vertical space in the flat. Cats live in a very 3D world, and vertical space does a lot of things necessary in a multi-cat home. It provides space for them to get away from each other, it provides space for them to display dominance, it provides space where they can keep an eye on things - it does a lot to help dispel stress.

There are lots of ways to do this. Bookshelves dedicated to them. Buy or make cat trees or cat condos. Put up some kitty walls: http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=201467 Purchase inexpensive large plastic-type storage containers, and stack them in a pyramid. Cut holes in them so the cats can go through them, up through some of them - cut windows in some of them that look out on the room. Put beds in some of them. Tape them together. This is a very economic way to create a lot of both height and space for them.

When it comes time to make introductions, it does not have to be to the resident cat. It should be to the resident cat's territory - it's OK if he's in it, but not necessary. Make initial visits with only one cat at a time. ANY non-negative encounter between the resident cat and whatever cat is out in the space should result in both kitties being praised to high heaven.

Keep treats and new toys at the ready, and give the kitties treats - you play with your cat, BF plays with his cat, and help the cats to think that being around the other one is a total party. It means more love, more play, more attention, more treats - whatever their motivation is. If there's any negative interaction, take your kitty back to the room. Your kitty is NOT being bad and should not be punished - it's just not time to leave them out longer.

Make initial introductions to the "new" space only an hour or so at first.

Alternate which of your kitties comes out each day. Depending upon how things go, make it a little and a little longer each day.

But the points are:

1) Take it slowly. When you learn to read the signs, play it by ear. They may be ready to share the space in a week - it may take two months. We live in an RV with 8 cats. Two months ago it was 7. We rescued an older friendly feral that was FIV+ and could not adopt out. So we made introductions starting at like an hour a day and it took about a month before he moved in full time. There's still a little hissing and swatting - but that's to be expected with 8 cats in a space that is 8 feet wide and 38 feet long.

2) Work on getting kitties to associate each other's scents with good things before you re-introduce your kitties to the resident cat's space.

3) Don't overwhelm the resident cat - only bring one of your cats at a time into the space.

4) Help the kitties think each other's presence is a total party.

5) Provide as much vertical space as you can.

6) Focus on positive reinforcement, not negative. Praise them for the littlest things, even if it is just for a lack of negative interaction. Do not make them think they've done anything wrong (at least through this phase) for being a cat in a new territory.

Sorry, I forgot to explain the scent swapping. Get a bunch of clean wash cloths or small rags. Rub BF's kitty all over with several of them - focus on the cheeks and rump. Put one under your kitty's food dish(es). Keep two. Have a good play session or pet session or whatever they're really into at least once a day. When you're done, put treats down for them on the rags that smell like BF's cat.

Do the same with your kitties for BF's cat. Take one rag and rub each of them all over with it. Put it under BF's cat's food dish. Rub one rag on one cat, another rag on the other. After BF or you has a good play session (at least daily) with his kitty, put treats down alternately on the individual rags that smell like your cats.

After a few days, swap beds. Grab two of your kitties' beds, and replace two of BF's kitty's beds with them, and put BF's kitties beds where your kitties' beds were.

These steps help them associate the other kitty's scents with things they love - food, play, love, whatever, and the bed swapping helps them get used to the other kitty's scents in their territory in a neutral way.