wanted to trade.... =^^= for =^^=

catnapt · Aug 7, 2010

Please, I know that a lot of people will dislike this idea immensely, there is no need to post it. Please, unless you have something HELPFUL to add, do not post to this thread at all.

I am looking for someone in Southern NH, preferably Manchester or very close by, to trade cats with. This would be on a trail basis only at first, the goal here is to find a good match for my cat and for yours.

I need a home with either no other cats, or compatible cats/dogs for my roughly 14yr old spayed girl Raven.

I can provide a home for a cat of a similar age or older, who gets along well with other cats and is not destructive (sorry I rent and cannot knowingly take in a cat who sprays or has serious litter box issues) Cat must be spayed/neutered.

I am looking for some one who is willing to see how Raven gets along in their home, while the cat that they need to rehome has time to adjust and see if he/she fits in well with my cats; this person MUST stay in touch with me and be willing to take their cat back and allow me to take mine back, if things do not work out for any reason.

I have had Raven for 3 yrs now and for most of this time, she has not been happy, in fact she has been miserable and the cause of her misery is my two other cats.

I know that reasonable people will disagree, but I think the best possible solution for her is to go to a home with no other cats, OR with cats with whom she gets along (she is independent and does not care to play with other cats, as long as they leave her alone, she's fine. Unfortunately my other two cats will NOT leave her alone, and she is timid and will not stand up for herself, therefore most of her life is spent hiding from them and slinking around the edges of rooms to avoid having one the others pounce on her)

This is no way to live, I'm sorry I know people will have all sorts of ideas on how to make this work but it's been 3 yrs and she is not getting any younger. She deserves a home where she is free to play if she wants to, where she can come and get affection without worrying that another jealous is going to attack her (that would be my boy Sheldon) or go to the litter box without having Nell (my other girl) swat at her because she thinks she's getting something Nell doesn't have.

I know that I am not alone with having a cat who does not fit in with the other pets in the home. Email me for more information and photos,
if you think you might be interested in a trial trade- your unhappy "mis-fit" for mine.

icklemiss21 · Aug 10, 2010

Just me but I would not 'trade' you a cat I have and love to take on one you don't want - have you thought about rehoming and looking for a cat yourself rather than trading

going nova · Aug 11, 2010

Maybe you've already tried it, but I want to recommend it anyway- Feliway.
One of my cats stalked two of the others pretty aggressively when we first brought them in.
I bought a Feliway plug-in and after a few days, the stalking diminished.
Now she doesn't stalk them except for once in a while, and I've stopped using the Feliway.

ldg · Aug 11, 2010

Originally Posted by catnapt

Please, I know that a lot of people will dislike this idea immensely, there is no need to post it. Please, unless you have something HELPFUL to add, do not post to this thread at all....

This is no way to live, I'm sorry I know people will have all sorts of ideas on how to make this work but it's been 3 yrs and she is not getting any younger. She deserves a home where she is free to play if she wants to, where she can come and get affection without worrying that another jealous is going to attack her (that would be my boy Sheldon) or go to the litter box without having Nell (my other girl) swat at her because she thinks she's getting something Nell doesn't have.

So ideas on how to make this work aren't helpful? I see you posted a thread about the situation in 2008 and didn't get very many responses. Did you conduct any searches here to help you address the situation?

Did you try Feliway, Bach's Rescue Remedy, scent swapping, time-outs, and do you have a lot of vertical space? How many litter boxes do you have?

I doubt very much you'll find anyone willing to swap cats, but with time, patience, and persistence on your part there is a way to help Raven.

catnapt · Aug 11, 2010

Originally Posted by LDG

So ideas on how to make this work aren't helpful? I see you posted a thread about the situation in 2008 and didn't get very many responses. Did you conduct any searches here to help you address the situation?

Did you try Feliway, Bach's Rescue Remedy, scent swapping, time-outs, and do you have a lot of vertical space? How many litter boxes do you have?

I doubt very much you'll find anyone willing to swap cats, but with time, patience, and persistence on your part there is a way to help Raven.

Ideas on how to make this work are welcomed but so far none have worked- I've tried Feliway (it made my male cat very aggressive, towards everyone including me) Rescue Remedy (no change) time outs, and no I don't have a lot of vertical space that I can use. I live in NH where the building stock is pretty old, most of the walls are horsehair plaster and I can't put anything heavy on them. I would love to have shelves that they could get up on but I don't live in a place where that is possible to do.

I have four huge litter boxes, the largest size you can get, why do you ask about litter boxes? there's no fights over those, it's primarily food, space and my attention that they are "competitive" over.

I'd like to be able to have a room just for Raven but when the only source of heat is in the kitchen, you can't close off the other rooms.
I"ve tried that during non heating season but then all the cats claw at the door to get in or out- and I rent, I can't afford to replace doors in apt.

I do not want to find another home for Raven, that should be obvious. I've had her with me for three years now and nothing has gotten better for her, it's only gotten worse.

How much more time do you think she should suffer?? she's not getting any younger.

ldg · Aug 11, 2010

I asked about litter boxes because those are often a place of "cat stalking." You didn't mention it, but I always ask.

I simply think that you are not going to find someone willing to "trade" cats. You may want to work on finding a no-kill shelter or foster network that can take her - but being that she's an older cat, for all the reasons you adopted her, she is very unlikely to be adopted by someone else. So what's best for Raven? Living like she is? Living in a cage at a shelter? Obviously a foster home or new home would be best - and certainly, work on finding those. But given the probability of that happening is about zero, your only real alternative is continuing to work on making her happy where she is. That's the stream of my logic.

Putting up shelves is not the only way to provide vertical space. Cat trees and condos are a way to go, but they can be expensive. We live in an RV with 8 cats. We took out the dining room and made bookshelves to fit under the wide window. The top part of it has window seats running the length of it. Between it and the wall, we put in a three-leve cat tree. Overhead, there are built-in cabinets. We removed everything from them and put cat beds up there. We put in two cat tall cat trees shoved up against each other and pushed as close to the bookshelves/window seats/overhead cabinets as possible. This illustrates it well: Cat tree configuration

We don't earn nearly as much money these days as we used to. If we needed to do this today, we'd have to build something ourselves rather than purchase something. Many people here have done this inexpensively, and there are definitely threads here where people discuss what they've done, with what and how.

In an apartment, for instance, there are ways to create vertical space either up against a wall or in the middle of a room. One quick inexpensive way to do this is to purchase a number of large sterilite/rubber maid type containers. Put the lids on. Stack them in a pyramid. Cut holes so cats can go through them sideways and upwards. Tape them together. Put cat beds inside here and there.

Buy inexpensive heavy-plastic storage shelves made for basements or garages. We have some that are very stable and would be fine whether they're up against a wall or not.

Purchase window seats (or make them) and use your windowsills. They require no screws: http://www.petco.com/product/6643/La...:referralID=NA

I have to head to the vet to pick up a kitty that had surgery, but I'll look up thread links for you later that describe how we dealt with Lazlo stalking Billy.

In the meantime, I would consider discussing with a vet antidepressants or something for Raven. I have no experience with these and know nothing about it, but she is obviously in great distress or you wouldn't have proposed this idea. I appreciate that you're trying to do right by her, and I'd like to help if I can.

catnapt · Aug 11, 2010

Thanks LDG, I appreciate it, and I really appreciate you taking so much time to respond in such detail, thank you!!

Yes I think you are right about the whole trading a cat, or finding her a home, I think sometimes I just have to have that in my mind as an option because it seems like it would be best for her. Certainly not for me, as I adore her.

OK well I've got a four foot cat tree, and a carpeted cube and some carpeted stairs and there is a high shelf that she often jumps up to and spends time up there.

Mostly what she is not able to do is to play. Maybe she just doesn't have any interest in playing anymore?

Maybe she is not as miserable as I think she is- I don't know. I often have to "talk things out" to figure out what the real problem is and I am glad to have this opportunity.

My daughter has offered to take one of the cats for awhile, both to keep her cat company and to see if it will help alleviate the stress on Raven (or maybe I'm the one who is stressed? and she is picking up on that, and is more upset by that then what the other cats do to her? I dunno, I wish they could just TELL us!

)

and I will look around to see if I can re arrange things better, right now I've got boxes everywhere because I'm planning to move, but maybe I can set them up to make a little hidey hole for her.

thanks again for your time and help!

Originally Posted by LDG

I asked about litter boxes because those are often a place of "cat stalking." You didn't mention it, but I always ask.

I simply think that you are not going to find someone willing to "trade" cats. You may want to work on finding a no-kill shelter or foster network that can take her - but being that she's an older cat, for all the reasons you adopted her, she is very unlikely to be adopted by someone else. So what's best for Raven? Living like she is? Living in a cage at a shelter? Obviously a foster home or new home would be best - and certainly, work on finding those. But given the probability of that happening is about zero, your only real alternative is continuing to work on making her happy where she is. That's the stream of my logic.

Putting up shelves is not the only way to provide vertical space. Cat trees and condos are a way to go, but they can be expensive. We live in an RV with 8 cats. We took out the dining room and made bookshelves to fit under the wide window. The top part of it has window seats running the length of it. Between it and the wall, we put in a three-leve cat tree. Overhead, there are built-in cabinets. We removed everything from them and put cat beds up there. We put in two cat tall cat trees shoved up against each other and pushed as close to the bookshelves/window seats/overhead cabinets as possible. This illustrates it well: Cat tree configuration

We don't earn nearly as much money these days as we used to. If we needed to do this today, we'd have to build something ourselves rather than purchase something. Many people here have done this inexpensively, and there are definitely threads here where people discuss what they've done, with what and how.

In an apartment, for instance, there are ways to create vertical space either up against a wall or in the middle of a room. One quick inexpensive way to do this is to purchase a number of large sterilite/rubber maid type containers. Put the lids on. Stack them in a pyramid. Cut holes so cats can go through them sideways and upwards. Tape them together. Put cat beds inside here and there.

Buy inexpensive heavy-plastic storage shelves made for basements or garages. We have some that are very stable and would be fine whether they're up against a wall or not.

Purchase window seats (or make them) and use your windowsills. They require no screws: http://www.petco.com/product/6643/La...:referralID=NA

I have to head to the vet to pick up a kitty that had surgery, but I'll look up thread links for you later that describe how we dealt with Lazlo stalking Billy.

In the meantime, I would consider discussing with a vet antidepressants or something for Raven. I have no experience with these and know nothing about it, but she is obviously in great distress or you wouldn't have proposed this idea. I appreciate that you're trying to do right by her, and I'd like to help if I can.

ldg · Aug 11, 2010

I'm sorry, I'd hoped I'd have time tonight, and I don't.

It can be difficult to tell who is causing whose stress - but if the other cats are bothering her and she's timid, she's probably stressing and not happy.

The basic principle of the method we used to get Lazlo to stop stalking/chasing/yowing at Bill was a combination of positive reinforcement and time-outs. We worked diligently on scent-swapping, and we "taught" Lazlo that being near Billy and not bothering him meant he got more attention and play, and that chasing and tackling Billy got him ignored. He got praised to high heaven for just ignoring Billy. After the route of positive reinforcement, after a month or so, we started grabbing him and putting him in the bathroom for 5-minute time outs - explaining to him on the way why he was going - shutting the door and leaving him there. When the 5 was up, we'd open the door, say nothing, not look at him and walk away - but we made sure he could hear us giving Billy love and attention (playing or whatever) while he was in the bathroom.

People have a tendency to focus on the negative - the "bad kitty" syndrome. But what makes behavior modification work in the long run is the positive reinforcement (in this case, for even just neutral behavior). The cats have to understand what it is you want, just as they have to learn what you don't want. It took 5-6 months before Lazlo more or less stopped bothering Billy. He still does it on occassion - but we're just as likely to find him grooming Billy. And Billy would just hunker down when Lazlo went after him, and would NOT stand up for himself.

More later, but didn't want to leave you hanging.

icklemiss21 · Aug 11, 2010

I just wanted to touch on the vertical space thing, we have issues with our walls holding weight too so don't have many shelves but the cats forever knocked things off my bookshelves unit so now that is their vertical space

We have some like these:

cinder · Aug 12, 2010

My cat Vizzy is bothered by other cats even looking at her. She lives in a group of 12 and the stress was causing her to overgroom, hide, etc. I have never had good success with Feliway and the location with open deck meant I would need something that actually stayed with the cat.

I've had good success with the Sentry Good Behavior collar. Vizzy had never ventured onto the deck and within a short period of time she did. She's by no means best friends with everyone else, but seems to be able to navigate the other cats now without freaking out. I recommended it to a friend who has a sprayer, and she promptly gave it back to me because she didn't like the smell. It does have a strong odor, but there are worse things. I read a number of reviews and others have complained it caused their pet to drool. It didn't have this effect on Vizzy.

The collar costs about $15 and is supposed to last 30 days. I replaced it after 6 weeks. It was recommended to me by the owner of a farm/pet supply store who said they have received good reviews and sell quite a few. It seems to work for many, but not everyone.

wanted to trade.... =^^= for =^^=

catnapt

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