I feel terrible

In an earlier post, I discussed that DH is having a number of stray cats at his friend's house spayed or neutred and getting their routine shots. (His sister did the same thing with the strays at her Mil's house and was quite successful.) DH wanted to have the females done first, but the other day they caught a male. So he took him to the vet...everybody's got to go, anyway...and after the vet finished they told him if he could bring another. DH's friend set the cage and this time they caught a female. However, when DH went back to the vet to pick her up, the vet told him that he wanted to keep her over the weekend, because she was pregnant! I feel terrible...l can't stand the thoughts of it. I know our goal is to prevent unwanted kittens, but not this way. Did the cat know? How far along was she? Is she going to feel lost without her kittens? Did the kittens feel anything? Could they have been saved? All these thoughts keeps running through my mind.

I know sometimes things like this happen...one of my nursing instructors' father was a vet. She described assisting him with a spay and discovering the dog was pregnant. She said he looked up at her and knew he was going to have to try to save the puppies. (And they did...the dog must have been very far along.)

I am in a bad state emotionally right now. DH just had surgery and his recovery is not going well. He is in a lot of pain. He went to the doctor today and his temp was 102.0.

Thank you for listening. I realize this sounds disjointed and may not make a lot of sense, but I have had almost no sleep and am exhausted.

Hi, please don't feel guilty, before I joined here and my cats were indoor and supervised outdoor my Floss was an outdoor cat and when it came to the time to get her spayed I found out she was 3 weeks pregnant, I opted to go ahead with the spay and yes I felt guilty at the time but having kittens was not the right decision for her, she had already had one litter and she was underweight. I know I made the right decision and she is a happy kitty now. The babies at that age are not proper babies. I am one who is against human abortions in some cases but this procedure saved my saved Floss's life and you have done the same. Please do not feel guilty. I have learnt alot since joining here.xx

The vet tech doing pre-op prep can often tell if a cat is pregnant, but often not until it has had its knock-down shot (once the belly is shaved the nipples and veins showing through the skin are a clue). The knock-down shot and the gas during the surgery usually kills the fetal kittens in utero. In an advanced pregnancy they may survive removal from the mother's body but are subsequently euthanized; in five years I know of only two such kittens that were revived and survived.

One can opt to allow the kittens to be born naturally and deal with them later, but once the decision is made for surgery the fetal kittens are practically doomed. It's heartbreaking to think about (and even harder to watch), but it's often either the only option or the best of a set of really crappy choices....

I had 24 cats...then got to 27 by taking 3 girls.
I spayed the late term one thinking its in best interest and what not and spayed a early on one and let one have hers cause I just couldn't(early on to-about 3 weeks but at time thought later. I clearly felt three blobs I am now at 33 with a few going to moms and sis taking her mom home and one of the others I took from farm back with her too so it can safely go outside again(ok more safer then here)
I will never do it again on a tame or semi feral. If I was doing tnr yes I would if they were feral and many to go.

I am sure I am wrong in my thinking and days after the one I took gave birth my sister found one who gave birth 2 days later to 6 kittens so I know id be screwed with 3 litter and probably 6 more kittens. Worst part for me was driving there with the crying I kept feeling like they knew something was up but what. the only good thing I can say is it was better then what was to happen-they would have all been left behind on owners house when she moved and started a feral colony if nothing had been done for the kittens of the 3 moms.

Vet told me when its done most will be sleeping/dead when they open cat up they will remove the uterus and inject with euth formula for any they think may be alive/far along...

Its a personal choice to make and I truly think the only way you cant make it is to do it once and to know Yes i can do this or no not for me. Good luck with everything-I know lack of sleep makes EVERYTHING feel so much harder and more depressing...pm if you need me as I usually am up late

Although you've made a tough choice, like many tough choices, it was the right one. My vets have told me that the in-utero kittens have an easy passing and they are spared the troubles and travails of a harsh life. It is much easier than getting put down at the shelter, which can happen no matter how hard we try to find the best of homes.
In fact, this is the story of my rescue, Jackie (short for Jacqueline Kennedy-Onassis):
Jackie is a pure-bred Manx whose elderly owner passed away and Jackie found herself at the animal shelter. She was adopted by a "nice", deaf lady and her adorable looking, well-mannered little, blond haired, blue-eyed boy. Jackie was then declawed & her toes are crooked - a terrible job The lady is a hard-core alcoholic (charming at first, as many alcoholics can be) and her son would torment Jackie by chasing her around the house, shooting her with pellet guns, siccing the weiner dog on Jackie (*sadly, all his other pets wound up with broken legs, except the snake...ALL of them, mice, hooded rats, guinea pig, lizard, iguana, 4-H turkey projects ). I tried calling AC but there was nothing they can do and there's no HS or ASPCA in our area. Finally, the people moved and we took over their house, but Jackie got left behind (we were not told that the cat had been abandoned) and for over 2 weeks had no one to care for her, in the sweltering heat. By the time I showed up & discovered her hiding under a closet, her kidneys were permanently damaged. That was in 2006 and one of this summer's (2010) best triumphs was that my 14yo grandson and his best friend FINALLY got Jackie to where she goes all over the house, socializes with the other cats & doesn't immediately run to her room if she hears a loud noise. In fact, I'm dog sitting for a week & she actually has stayed in the room with the dog (he's an Aussie cattle dog, who uses every kind of body language to show the cats he's a friend, and it works amazingly well -such communication, he should work for the UN!). Jackie is starting to have weakness now, and I'm pretty sure that this next vet trip will be one-way, but at least she's overcome her fears and has known love once again, and I'm sure her little old lady will be waiting for her on the other side of RB. but I think if Jackie had her say in the matter, she'd probably have chosen that her mother had been spayed & Jackie's moments of fleeting life were without suffering...

My personal rule is that if I can tell she's pregnant, I can't go through with the spay, unless she's fully feral or sick, then I'd have to spay no matter how far along she is. Generally they have to be at least halfway along before your average person can tell, so that usually works. If I can't tell she was preggo, in she goes to be spayed and I just don't ask the vet, and if he does volunteer that info I try not to feel bad. It's a fair bet that any unspayed female will be pregnant at any point in time, although usually in temperate areas, outdoor cats aren't pregnant in November or December. So that's probably the "safest" time to have them spayed. In a tropical area they can be pregnant constantly, 3 or 4 litters a year.

It's terrible but you do have to think about what will happen if you allow the kittens to be born. Average of 4 per litter, times however many females are at the place. Many will die of disease or accident, and if they survive you'll have to find homes for them or spay them. In this case I'd say that spaying the pregnant ladies is really the only option.

The mother cat won't miss her kittens. Unless she was almost ready to give birth the kittens couldn't have been saved....kittens simply don't survive being premature. They didn't feel anything---they're affected by the anesthetic, too. If your husband couldn't tell she was pg she probably wasn't very far along. It's all very sad but the alternative isn't much better.

Thank you all for your kind comments. I know that the kittens would have had a rough life...DH's friend feeds the cats, but he can't really afford vet care, etc., which is why DH got involved. DH wants them to at least be spayed or neutered and get the basic shots. I didn't see the cat at all (I probably couldn't have known she was pregnant anyway) and DH had no idea she was pregnant. Fatigue and stress have got my nerves on edge. Again, I want to thank you all. You've made me see things more logically and I do feel better knowing that the kittens probably didn't suffer.