Ahh....Return of the ugly duckling...

It always amazes me how old insecurities can creep back in on ya and bite you in the tush. This weekend I will be going to a bridal shower for my cousin's fiancee. I'm excited; I haven't seen most of my family in months! And I'm really happy my cousin is finally getting married. (He used to date this girl when she was just out of high school; they broke up for quite a few years...now here they are!) My cousin's fiancee is very pretty; more than pretty really. She's a dancer; so are most of her friends from what I know.

I'm guessing about 98% of the time I feel good about myself. I know I'm overweight; I know my other physical flaws, I know I just had a baby almost 7 months ago, I know my husband loves me and he's constantly telling me I'm sexy and all that jazz. I know my family loves me regardless. But it's times like these I feel like the ugly duckling, the wallflower, that super shy little girl I once used to be. (Baby of the family.)

Last weekend I went and got a new haircut (somewhat of a mistake!) and got some new clothing. I even got a new, great fitting bra! (While I'm on that note; holy torpedoes!!!) That was a help till I realized the shirt I bought was ivory and a very dark brown, not black like it looked in the store! But I managed to find a pair of pants here that match well enough. I just hope no one is able to guess they are maternity pants! And I hope they don't fall down! I've already lost my baby weight; but I'm by no means skinny! But I think I can get away with it. But I still don't look anything like most of the people who will be around me. My cousin who had a baby 3 weeks before me; well she's been bustin' it in the gym and is for once, smaller than me, even though I've got the smaller bone structure.

While I know I shouldn't compare myself...it's hard not to. At least a little. Once that door opens; it nags me in the back of my mind. I feel like I've spent the last week in a mental battle for my self-esteem. It'll pass once it's over (till the wedding anyway!). While part of me knows I should fight to change what I can if I really don't like it. The other part of me says "No! I love me for ME. The way I am!" Other than at the wedding; I probably won't see most of these people ever again. I just hope I'm not an embarrassment to my cousin (not that he would EVER tell me should he even think that; which I doubt; but still!) I know it seems like every family has one that just doesn't quite fit in....but why does it have to be me?

For starters : You are BEAUTIFUL. You are a MOTHER. You are AMAZING. Rock that body, momma!

I totally feel your pain. Landon is 10 months old, and I've lost all my baby weight (35lbs) and then some, I'm still the same size as I was before I had him but nothing is the same. I feel akward all.the.time. with this 'new' body. My female cousins are stick thin. Seriously, they work out all the darn time and look amazing. They are in my wedding this fall & I feel like they are going to look better than me at MY wedding!

I really hope that you can feel comfortable this weekend and have a wonderful time. Remember that you are beautiful, no matter the size

Thanks Kenz. Most of the time I don't event think about it like this; but these family events just get me. And yeah; new body alright! I got new running shoes...I used to wear a 9.5. I needed a 10 Wide!! My feet don't look wide to me; but the shoes say they are! Wow!

Relax, everyone's going to be looking at your beautiful baby! Seriously, new moms are pretty invisible when their baby's around.

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Relax, everyone's going to be looking at your beautiful baby! Seriously, new moms are pretty invisible when their baby's around.

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Unfortunately she won't be with me. She'll be with a cousin from the other side of my family. I can't hide behind her!

I'm convinced that happy events like this in our lives are times for us to slow down, stop, and think to appreciate those we love around us. We move through life so quickly; these are stop-and-take-notice moments that we remember.

I hope you relax and have a wonderful time! Maybe a glass of wine would be okay. Surely those who love you will be happy to see you, and anyone with a problem... well, that's not your problem. Hope your husband is going and you both have a great romantic time!

Check this link for some sites that can help you build self esteem.

How to Build Self Esteem

Originally Posted by MoochNNoodles

Unfortunately she won't be with me. She'll be with a cousin from the other side of my family. I can't hide behind her!

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Bring lots of pictures!


Your cousin's fiancee may be pretty but you made that beautiful baby!

Seriously, I do know how you feel. The worst part is just when I go to a point in my life where I was happy with who I was and didn't care if anyone liked what I looked like I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and then had new worries.

My point is...everyone is beautiful in there own way. Go and enjoy spending time with family.

Originally Posted by babyharley

For starters : You are BEAUTIFUL. You are a MOTHER. You are AMAZING. Rock that body, momma!

I totally feel your pain. Landon is 10 months old, and I've lost all my baby weight (35lbs) and then some, I'm still the same size as I was before I had him but nothing is the same. I feel akward all.the.time. with this 'new' body. My female cousins are stick thin. Seriously, they work out all the darn time and look amazing. They are in my wedding this fall & I feel like they are going to look better than me at MY wedding!

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Pick out some really ugly bridesmaid dresses. Then you will definitely be the best looking one in the wedding party.

Originally Posted by CheshireCat

Pick out some really ugly bridesmaid dresses. Then you will definitely be the best looking one in the wedding party.

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You should do it Kenz!! The way I see it; most of the changes from having a baby aren't really noticeable unless you are naked. And last time I checked you were not associated with any nudist colonies; so I think it's safe to assume you will not be getting married in the buff..... I think we see the changes other people will never notice!

Originally Posted by MoochNNoodles

I just hope I'm not an embarrassment to my cousin (not that he would EVER tell me should he even think that; which I doubt; but still!) I know it seems like every family has one that just doesn't quite fit in....but why does it have to be me?

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Of course you won't be an embarrassment to your cousin! Goodness, he won't even be thinking along those lines. He'll be happy to see you. What is they say about people being their own worst critics....? Smile a lot and have a wonderful time. I promise, everyone will think you look great.

I'm sure you will have a blast anyway! Just enjoy seeing your family, and you will have a good time.

I know how you feel though. My sister and brother are both tiny. They eat all they want and lose weight, and my brother is unbelievably buff. I on the other hand, have to fight to stay at a decent weight, and would love to lose a bunch. I know how much it can effect your self esteem to be surrounded by people who you feel look better. Honestly though, it is how you feel about yourself that matters.

Originally Posted by laceface

I'm sure you will have a blast anyway! Just enjoy seeing your family, and you will have a good time.

I know how you feel though. My sister and brother are both tiny. They eat all they want and lose weight, and my brother is unbelievably buff. I on the other hand, have to fight to stay at a decent weight, and would love to lose a bunch. I know how much it can effect your self esteem to be surrounded by people who you feel look better. Honestly though, it is how you feel about yourself that matters.

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You are absolutely right; happiness is not found in material things. Including a small waistline and clear skin! That's why I'd say 98% of the time I'm a happy person. It's just when times like these come around that I get down in the dumps about myself. I guess that's normal; but still no fun. LOL!

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I'm convinced that happy events like this in our lives are times for us to slow down, stop, and think to appreciate those we love around us. We move through life so quickly; these are stop-and-take-notice moments that we remember.

I hope you relax and have a wonderful time! Maybe a glass of wine would be okay.

Surely those who love you will be happy to see you, and anyone with a problem... well, that's not your problem. Hope your husband is going and you both have a great romantic time!

Click to expand...

Unfortunately DH is out of vacation, sick and optional days. He used all his sick and all but one optional when LO was born. He's saving that so he can come to the wedding! My mother and I are making the trip together. And DH gets to stay home and fix the paint in LO's room while we are gone! Lucky man! LOL! Hey; at least he's kid free! No one waking him up looking for a paci or breakfast.... (He takes the breakfast duties on the weekend since he's the morning person! )

Does your mom make you feel like an ugly duckling? Maybe that's why you are feeling self-conscious now, you said you are usually pretty happy with yourself.